Monthly Archives: October 2015
Monthly Archives: October 2015
You can’t just wish to become a money magnet and become it. But, you can do things that turn you into a money magnet. Ever notice how people who get a lot of money keep getting it and getting it and getting it? They know the secret to easily attracting money into their life and put that secret to work for them. The biggest secret? Develop money making habits that help you consistently stay in charge of your finances and draw money into your life.
According to Dave Ramsey, one of the most popular financial experts, winning at money is 80 percent behavior and 20 percent knowledge. The 80/20 rules applies to so many things in life, and in this case habits that help you develop the right behavior will go a long way for success with money.
Therefore, the first step to becoming a money magnet is to develop the type of habits that will help you keep money around and attract it to you. The right habits will also help you develop the mindset you need to attract even more money.
First, become your own financial expert. If you don’t take control of your finances, who will?
Make sure you know exactly how much money you are getting, how much you are spending, and how much you need to save for emergencies and other important expenses.
When you take a hold of your finances and get a crystal clear vision of what you have and what you need to do, you become the master of your money. You can start to set goals to bring more money into your life and real action on those goals.
There are many different definitions of what ultra success looks like. That’s because we all value different aspects of life differently. What seems ultra successful to one person may not seem that great to someone else. But, despite our different beliefs about what success is, there are some common steps that need to be taken to reach ultra success.
1. Make Great Plans
Don’t underestimate yourself. Don’t make plans to be ‘kind of’ great. Don’t make plans to do less than you are capable of because you are scared you won’t reach your goals. If you do, you will be unhappy because you are not living your truth! Instead, make plans to be the best you can be. Make sure that your plans scare you a little, but also get you excited to start working on them. Those are the type of plans that will help you reach the type of success you want to reach.
2. Accept Yourself
Let go of your embarrassment, guilt, and shame, and decide that you are going to accept yourself for who you are and who you want to become. It may not line up with what others want from you, but when you accept yourself and decide to work towards what you want, reaching ultra success is going to be much easier.
3. Take The Plunge
Instead of worrying about what will happen or fearing the unknown, take the plunge and do what you want to do. Do the best that you can and learn from your mistakes and failures as you go along. If you don’t take the plunge, you can never get started on to your path of ultra success.
4. Make Personal Success A Priority
Some people are confident, which is a good trait to have for themselves and the world around them. But there is a point where some people cross a line from confidence into extreme self-esteem. At that point, they can affect their life and others lives in a negative way. What does extreme self-esteem look like?
Narcissism: The Entitled And Important Person
Ironically, narcissism can develop from low self-esteem. It can occur as a response to feeling inferior because it gives the person power to feel better about themselves. But, it can also occur when someone is pampered and develops a warped sense of entitlement. Either way, to an outsider, it appears to be an issue of extreme self-esteem.
Narcissistic people feel as if they are more important and better than everyone else. They feel entitled and will push other people out of the way to get what they deserve. They want everyone to like them, but they are really unlikable because they lack compassion for other people’s needs as they are so concerned on their own.
I have a neighbor who is narcissistic. She really believes that her needs are the most important and she will go out of her way to make sure that everyone knows how important she is. She is also not afraid to let everyone know that they have betrayed her in some way – even though they have done nothing to her. And to top it off, she has no compassion for other’s needs or feelings and will do to others the very thing she gets upset about.
Lack Of Empathy: Unwilling To Do Things For Others
You are great. You are worth it. You are someone who deserves to be the best you can be. But, you don’t need to be an arrogant jerk to understand that. You don’t need to view yourself as better than others in order to get everything you want in life. In fact, if you live solely from a place of ego, you will find that you are unhappy and unsuccessful in life. Following are a few techniques to help you live from a balanced ego state.
Live In A State Of Compassion
The only way to be compassionate is to step outside of your ego and recognize the needs, values, desires, and worth of other people. When you do that, you can express kindness that helps you develop a sense of happiness you can’t get from focusing on yourself alone.
Compassion benefits your life in so many ways that there are full books describing how compassion can influence your life positively and, therefore, your happiness. But, just to name a few things:
– Compassion helps you relate with others better, which promotes more real friendships that support well-being
– Compassion helps you focus on others and minimize the size of your personal problems, therefore, allowing you to get unstuck
– Compassion leads to a higher power of inner-strength, which helps you move through obstacles and doubt easier
– Compassion helps promote a kinder world, which in turn promotes more happiness in your life
– Compassion has been shown to prevent heart attacks, which means it is actually good for physical health
If you think about it, compassion is living outside of your ego, but it is also benefiting your ego in a big way. All of the above things help you value yourself more. Therefore, compassion is the ultimate technique for ego balancing.
Take Some Time To Think About The Size Of The Universe
When you get stuck in your own little world, which is literally about 5 feet around you, it becomes impossible to see the actual size of you in relation to the universe. When you are stuck in your ego, you feel bigger than most people. You feel more important than other people. And you feel as though the world literally revolves around you.
Abraham Maslow, a psychologist who coined the phrase “the self-actualizing individual” said it quite simply – ‘What human beings can be, they must be’. He realized that self-fulfillment came from understanding one’s own talents and potential and that we all have a need to be true to grow and reach our potential.
Whether it is in work, relationships, health, or hobbies, motivation is needed to be your best. It helps you get excited, build a plan, and start moving towards your best self. Need some ultra-motivation to be the best you can be?
Ask Yourself: How Do I Want My Life To Go?
Imagine your life as one big journey. You get on a path, you drive towards somewhere you want to go, you overcome obstacles on the way to get there, and then you celebrate when you reach your destination. Then you start it all over again. Sure, it can be a little scary because you are venturing into the unknown and dealing with things you’ve never had to deal with, but the journey is also really rewarding.
Now imagine your life as a jail. You are stuck in one place. You feel safe because you don’t have to face any problems, but you also feel stuck and unable to go outside and venture into the unknown. The fact is that you never go anywhere because the bars are holding you back. The bars are made of fear and limiting beliefs, and they are very real things that keep you stuck. They will make sure that you never explore your talents or live up to your potential in life.
So, how do you want your life to go? Do you want to have an adventure or do you want to feel safe but stuck? I really want you to visualize each scenario as your life before you make a final decision.
There are only two options in life and you get to choose which one you want, no matter where you are right now. When you start to picture your life in this way, your will start to get motivated to break free from your ‘jail’ and get busy becoming the best you can be.
Get To Know Yourself
Clutter is distracting and a hindrance to your happiness and success in life. Research has shown that clutter actually affects your brain and your ability to focus and even process information. Neuroscientists at Princeton University discovered that clutter competes for your attention, which increases stress and decreases performance.
When your remove clutter and get organized, you can create more time in your day, find things easily, see what you need to do, gain energy, and even boost your self-confidence. And, it is really easy to do. It just requires some initial effort on your part.
So, I’m not going to make it difficult. I’m going to share with you exactly what worked for me. Decluttering your home and getting organized is essentially a two-step process.
Step 1: Recognize That Everything Has A Place
First, developing the mindset that everything has a place will help you avoid leaving things around the house or office and creating a cluttered mess. If you truly believe that everything has a place, you will put things back where they belong when you are done with them and easily work on keeping things organized.
This doesn’t mean you have to become compulsive. It just means you have to appreciate the power of organization and then buy or use the right tools to make organization easier.
For example, many of us leave our mail, flyers, and other papers lying around in the kitchen. We feel there is an importance to look at those things, but until we do we just leave it in a mess on a countertop. This is where a desktop organizer comes in handy. Having a paper organizer allows you to put papers in slots according to categories, such as bills, notes, flyers, coupons, and mail, and helps you remove the clutter and stay organized. As a bonus, having your papers organized will make them seem less stressful and allow you to tackle them quicker.
You don’t have to buy expensive organizational tools. You can find cheap items for sale at the dollar store or at discount stores. You can find all kinds of unique boxes and organizational tools to help you keep everything in its place in your bedroom, living room, kitchen, front entrance, spare room, office, car, and anywhere else you spend your time.
So as your biggest step to end clutter and get organized, take a look around your home, find what needs a place, group things together if you can, and buy something that will help you get those things organized. If you find it overwhelming, start in one room and work your way around the house. It may take a week or two, but the effort will be worth it.
Step 2: Get Rid Of Stuff That Doesn’t Have A Place
A loving relationship should not be full of pain and sorrow. If it is, then it’s time to take action and work on healing the relationship. In fact, your number one goal should be to create a healthy relationship again because it impacts your life in such a profound way. Your career, success, health, other relationships, and everything else will be impacted negatively when your relationship is unwell.
The Hardest Thing To Do Can Also Be The Best Thing To Do
When a relationship is in trouble, most of us cling on to the other person for fear we will lose them. Even though we are arguing or unhappy, we stay close to them and try to remove the risk of separation. But sometimes a separation is exactly what can heal the relationship when love hurts too much.
It’s hard to do. But, giving each other some space does some positive things.
First, space allows seemingly large issues minimize themselves. When you don’t give yourself any space, negative situations are blown up to be huge situations, and the negative emotions grow stronger day by day impacting how you relate to your partner. But, when you get some space from what is happening, you can minimize the importance of those situations and let your emotions cool down so you can get some clarity.
Second, space gives you clarity that what you were doing was not working. When you are caught up in the moment, you will try to do the same thing over and over again in the relationship because your emotions are fueling your decisions. But, when your emotions are allowed to cool down, you can build a new plan on how you need to move forward and take new, more helpful action on healing your relationship.
Lastly, space allows you to re-evaluate your relationship and your role in it. You may find that you don’t want to be in the relationship any longer. But, in most cases, people realize the importance the relationship has on their life and they get a clearer perspective on their contribution to the relationship, their partner’s issues, and what is going wrong in the relationship. This means that when you come back together to work on your relationship, you can come from a place of love and motivation to make the relationship work.
Work On Repairing What’s Wrong
There is something that is not working in the relationship that has led to the state it is in. It could be a lack of trust, lack of communication, too much blame, too much judging, too much controlling, having an emotional disconnection, or having a physical disconnection. Or, it could be a combination of these. The important thing is to be honest about your relationship and the negative cycles you are stuck in.
Becoming the best of the best in your field is something you can do. If you have the desire and right attitude to do the following things, you can easily make yourself known as one of the best among your peers, as well as everyone else. Ready to ramp up your reputation and life? Use the following tips.
Develop Self-Discipline Over Motivation
Right now you want to become the best of the best. You are motivated to stand out from the crowd and be known as someone great who does something great. But, that motivation will start to die out as you must put time and action towards becoming the best. You will start to question whether or not you really want to keep doing what you are doing, and your limiting beliefs and fears, not to mention your laziness (and we all have it), may cause you to give up altogether. And that’s where self-discipline comes in.
You must have the self-discipline to keep going when times get tough. When you are able to keep doing what you need to do, despite the temptation to just give it all up, then you have the potential to be the best of the best. Because, trust me, 99% of the people are going to give into the temptation to give up. They are going to stop doing the hard work, stop working on developing new habits, attitudes, and beliefs, and just give into easier ways of achieving what they want or give up on achieving what they want completely.
Accept Things That Work Into Your Life And Reject Things That Don’t
You must be able to accept new things in your life and implement them while rejecting things that don’t progress you towards being the best of the best. Think giving up is for losers? Nope! People who are close-minded and keep doing what they are doing because they believe they must will never be the best of the best.
Becoming better means implementing new techniques and ideas that work better than what you were doing before. And it means letting others that are not working go. Don’t hold on to something just because you have placed some sort of importance on it.
Sometimes stress is good for us. That kind of stress is called positive stress or Eustress, and it occurs when we experience stress that promotes a positive reaction, such as excitement, increased mental energy, and motivation to help us reach our goals. A new job, a marriage, a baby, and a new home are all things that can cause good stress.
But, negative stress impacts our lives in a very negative way. A death, divorce, health diagnosis or job loss can all lead to negative stress. They can cause a response in the body that promotes anxiety or worry and can lead to decreased mental and physical performance and even a complete shutdown. Therefore, when you are feeling negative effects from stress, it is important to find relief before your life is affected negatively.
One of the best ways to find relief from negative stress is to reduce overthinking. Whether it is your imagination telling you what could happen or stress of what did happen, your thoughts can have a very negative impact on you and cause a lot of negative stress.
Thinking too much about something negative is psychologically harmful because it can cause a loop of negative emotions that leads to consistent negative stress. In order to break the loop, you either need to take action and fix the issue, develop more positive thoughts, or focus on something else completely.
Taking action towards the situation can often help remove the stress completely. For instance, if you have lost your job and you are overthinking the negative aspects of what happened or could happen, then you are going to stress yourself out to the point where it will be hard to think about anything else. But, if you immediately start building a plan to find a new job, and take action on that plan, then your mind will refocus towards what you can do instead of what could happen.
I want to make it clear that when I say mother and child, I’m talking about all mother and child relationships, including relationships where the mother did not give birth to the child but, instead, adopted the child. It doesn’t matter how they came together, the mother and child bond is an extremely special one. Most children will do anything for their mothers, and most mothers will do anything for their children. So, why is it so special?
Whether it is an instinctual or stereotypical issue, mothers are more likely to provide comfort to their children and help guide them into the person they become. Mothers are more willing to show their love and give hugs and cuddles when things have gone wrong. We tend to be drawn to people who are comforting towards us, and mothers have that softer, comforting quality that we crave.
In one study done by Harry Harlow on young monkeys, the theory that children require the comfort of their mother proved to be very true. The baby monkeys were deprived of food until they were desperately hungry and then given a choice of two mother figures to turn towards. One was a mother made of wire who had a bottle of milk that would take away the need for food, while the other was a mother made of cloth that would provide contact comfort. The monkeys would quickly run to the wire mothers and fill up on milk, and then just as quickly move to the comfort providing mother and snuggle for up to 18 hours. In fact, the infant monkeys would sometimes not go back to the wire monkey until they were close to starvation again.