Monthly Archives: December 2015
Monthly Archives: December 2015
You think you may be in love, but do you know for sure? Love goes beyond feeling attracted to someone. It goes beyond feeling excited about someone. When you are in love, you feel something much less superficial than lust. So, how do you know when you’re in love? Following are 26 signs that you should watch out for!
1. You Notice People In Love More
On the street, at work, at home, on TV, and everywhere else, love suddenly becomes very clear to you. You notice people holding hands, doing loving gestures, and giving loving kisses more than you used to. This is a sign that you are focusing on love, so you are seeing more of what you are focused on. It’s just like if you were focused on a particular type of truck or a certain musical – you would see it everywhere you go because your brain or awareness is suddenly looking for it.
2. You Are Willing To Say Things That Matter
You’ve moved into the state where you are willing to say things that matter, such as how much you care about their presence in your life, how happy you are, and how much you want them to be healthy and happy. You have become fond of them beyond an attraction level, and you genuinely want them to know that you appreciate them.
3. You Are Starting To Remember Your Old Likes
When we fall into ‘lust’ we tend to drop all of our favorite things in order to be with that person, but once we start to get more comfortable with them, and the relationship, we start to remember that there is a world outside that we used to participate in! Many people think that craving to do outside stuff is pulling away from the relationship, but in reality you have just come to a place where you feel attached enough to someone to pursue your own activities knowing they will be there when you come back. That’s love.
4. You Are Planning Your Future
Sometimes it is not totally apparent what causes fights in a relationship. Sometimes something happens that doesn’t result in an immediate fight, but, instead, causes a chain of events that eventually leads to a fight. If you are stumped as to why you are fighting in your relationship, following are some issues that may be occurring with either you or your partner.
Focusing On Yourself
If you only focus on yourself in a relationship, then the other person will feel neglected, unimportant, and unloved. Those feelings can cause them to act out negatively in little ways and, eventually, a fight will occur. That’s why it’s important to focus on yourself and your partner in a relationship; otherwise, why be in a relationship? If you want to just focus on yourself, then be single.
There are a few different aspects in your relationship where you need to avoid focusing on yourself at all costs. These aspects are huge causes of fights, and they include.
Having fun: If you are always going out and having fun while your partner sits at home taking care of the house, kids, or other responsibilities, then you are not taking them into consideration.
Sex: The bedroom is not all about you. You have to put in the effort to make your partner happy in the bedroom.
Money: When you become a couple, how you spend your money needs to be a joint decision.
Money is a big one! For example, I have a friend who is married to a man who focuses only on himself when it comes to money. They’ve actually gone bankrupt simply from him ignoring bills and buying himself stuff he wants. They just got a large sum of money from family members, and it all went towards new toys and gadgets for him. He didn’t even consider what his wife wanted, and because of that, she felt uncared about. Of course, she isn’t speaking up to him right now, but she is upset and it is causing her to act out in little ways that are unhealthy for the relationship. Soon those little things will result in big things and a fight will ensue.
In any relationship, especially a romantic relationship, you need to be compassionate towards the other person. Think about their needs, wants, likes, dislikes, hopes, dreams, etc. You need to act out of a place that benefits not just you, but them too. This doesn’t mean you can’t focus on yourself, sometimes, but you can’t ignore someone else’s needs and focus only on your own and not expect to have fights in the relationship.
You should always do a few things.
It is important to make relaxation a part of your day. Relaxation helps reduce stress and has many health benefits, including better heart health, stronger immune system, better cognitive skills, better brain health (stress can kill brain cells), and easier time maintaining weight. And that’s just a short list. The bottom line is that you need to learn how to relax in order to stay healthy both physically and mentally.
When you go on vacation, it’s easy to relax. You buy a drink, sit by the pool, and let your day go by without any chaos. But, at home, it is much harder to relax, especially after a busy day at work or with the family.
A day filled with deadlines, meetings, appointments, and chaos can be stressful, and it can make it hard to relax when everything is checked off the to-do list and all you have to do is chill out. Feeling as though you should be doing something is common, and if you don’t fight the feeling by relaxing, then you are going to get up and get busy again. Following are some simple techniques to help you chill out and get into a state of relaxation quickly.
1. Take A Pause To Switch Gears
Before you head home, or head downstairs, or head to the spot where you want to relax, take a moment to switch gears. Take a deep breath, remind yourself that you are now entering into a new part of your day, close your eyes and allow yourself to appreciate that the stress and chaos are behind you and now all you have to do is relax and enjoy yourself.
This simple technique of switching gears can have a powerful effect. Often we move from one part of our day to another and the momentum and stress from the last task blends into the new one. If you take a few moments to feel like you are really moving from one part of your day to another, you will literally feel like you’ve switched from high gear to low gear and have an easier time chilling out.
2. Leave The ‘Stuff’ Behind
After you make a point of switching gears, it’s important to leave all the stressful stuff behind. If you work at home, you know this well. It is tempting to get back on your computer and start looking around at stats, articles, and comments, and before you know it, it’s bedtime and you haven’t relaxed at all!
Take the actions you need to take to leave stuff behind. Don’t look at or take action on work after hours. Don’t focus on cleaning up the house between certain hours. Maybe even turn off your phone alerts. Make a certain period of your day for relaxation only, and then take measures to make sure that you don’t ‘quickly’ check on something or move back into a state that isn’t relaxing at all.
Before you can overcome a victim mentality, you need to know that you have it. There are so many people walking around playing the victim in life, and it has become so much of a habit that they just think it is normal and a part of who they are. Many of them can’t see; in fact, they don’t even consider that they are choosing to take a victim stance in life. If you are reading this, then you must feel like you have lost some power in your life and are ready to take it back, which means certain signs of living in a victim mentality have likely already come into your awareness. Still not sure? Following are 20 signs to watch for.
1. You Can’t Take Constructive Criticism
When someone gives you honest advice from a place of love, you get upset. You feel attacked. You don’t listen to what they are saying; instead, you get upset and feel like they are trying to make you feel bad about yourself and your life – and it works. You take what they say to heart and beat yourself up about it over and over again. It affects how you feel about yourself and about them. This could be a friend, a family member, a coworker, or a stranger – everyone has the same impact on you.
2. You Put Yourself Down More Than You Would Your Worst Enemy
You constantly say things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else, including your worst enemy. These things can be pretty nasty, but they all add up to the same meaning – you are worthless, ugly, fat, stupid, and not capable. Looking in the mirror you see a loser. When someone gives you a compliment, you counteract it with something negative. And, you spend more time saying negative things to yourself than positive or even neutral things.
3. You Feel Stuck In Life
Not sure if your girlfriend or wife is mad at you? You are not alone! A lot of men are not able to read the signs of an upset woman, and, unfortunately, that just makes things worse in the relationship. It makes women feel as if their men don’t care when they can’t detect that they are upset. And, women will often hold grudges because their men just can’t figure it all out. You better believe that those grudges are going to come up again next time she is upset, so you might as well just figure it out now and work through the problem.
This article has some relationship advice for men who are struggling to figure out if their woman is upset and why she would be upset in the first place. Don’t worry if your woman is different from many other women, you will still be able to tell if she is upset using the following insights.
5 Questions To Ask Yourself First
The following 5 questions will give you an indication if she’s mad at you and what you can do to find out why.
Question 1: Is She Not Talking To You?
If she is not responding to you at all, then she is upset. Women don’t just go mute because they are reflecting about things in their own head. If they are mad at someone, they either clam up or yell, and when you are getting the silent treatment, it is because she doesn’t think it is worth it to talk to you. She doesn’t think you will understand or resonate with her, and she doesn’t want to risk you making her feel bad or making her more upset.
Your best bet? Apologize for anything that you have done, but let her know that you would like to know what it is. She may be pissed that you don’t know, but at least you are aware that you hurt her, and the chances are good she will open up and let you know what is on her mind.
Question 2: Are Her Responses Short?
Are you getting yes and no answers without a lot of detail in her responses? This isn’t limited to speech. She may be texting you short and brief messages.
If so, she is upset for some reason. Women elaborate. It’s what they do. They don’t just say yes or no and move on with their day. They discuss things, add things, and talk about things that are on their mind. Unless you have a woman who always keeps it short (I have yet to meet one), then something is upsetting her.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that she is upset with you. She could be upset with something someone else said or did and feel bad about herself. She might not know what to say to you so that she doesn’t come across as rude, needy or some other unattractive trait. Whatever it is, you need to give her permission to openly discuss something with you so that she can feel comfortable talking to you.
Question 3: Are You Getting Delayed Messages?
It doesn’t matter if the gestures are big or small, the best romantic gestures show how much you love someone in a big way. You can make the gesture personal, where only you and your partner understand the meaning behind it. Or, you can pick something from the following 21 romantic gestures that have been proven to make people feel like they are truly loved and cherished by their partner.
1. Speak Up And Say The Hard Things
You know how hard it is to say those things that mean the most. The words sit in the back of your throat as you contemplate saying what you want to say, and many times you just can’t force yourself to say those words. Even if you are in a loving, committed relationship, it can be hard to verbalize certain things, such as how much you love them, how much they mean to you, how much you appreciate what they did for you, or even how sorry you are for something you did wrong. Speaking up is a romantic gesture because it shows you love the person enough to say what you got to say.
2. Give Up Something To Help Them
Nothing says I love you more than giving up something you want to so that you can help your partner out. If they are struggling or need help to tackle or finish something, then giving up your night out, lazy day on the couch, or an extra hour of sleep is a romantic gesture that will make them feel special and loved.
3. Touch Their Face After You Kiss
If you have gotten to the point where kisses are quick and cheap, then take a moment to give a nice, slow kiss and touch their face gently afterwards. Lingering for a moment after the kiss to touch them and look in their eyes is a gesture of admiration and love that they totally feel, and it will melt their heart if you do it once in a while.
4. Get Their Favorite Food After A Hard Day
What is true love all about? Everyone wants to know what true love is, and many people think they can feel it when it happens, but do they? Are they experiencing true love or are the experience infatuation, lust, or even wishful thinking? Moreover, is true love something that is actually possible, or is it all in our heads?
What Is Love?
In order to understand true love, we need to understand love. Love is defined as an intense feeling of affection for someone, which means that you view someone as awesome and desirable based on your beliefs, judgments, and experiences. Once you decide that someone is attractive to you mentally and physically, love also becomes a biological process. Your body takes over and reinforces what your mind already knows – that this person makes you feel amazing!
The physical reactions of love are a neurological condition where we feel bonded to something or someone else. When we feel attached to someone else, our brain releases chemicals such as serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. All of these chemicals cause us to think loving thoughts and feel the physical sensations that we associate with love. These hormones include:
– Serotonin: This hormone increases your mood; in fact, if you take drugs such as Ecstasy, you cause a huge rise in serotonin levels. You might as well just find someone to love instead – it’s healthier.
– Oxytocin: This has been referred to as the biological basis for love. This hormone is released during cuddling and sex and it helps to give you the feeling of attachment to someone else.
– Vasopressin: Along with oxytocin, experts believe that this hormone is responsible for feeling attached to someone.
– Dopamine: This hormone is responsible for desire and reward, which means you feel an immense amount of pleasure when you are rewarded with loving actions, such as kindness, touch, date night, or whatever makes you feel fulfilled and happy.
– Norepinephrine: This is released when you are falling in love and feel stress for things to work out and go well. It gives you the physical sensations you feel while falling in love, such as sweaty palms or a racing heart.
In other words, among many other things, hormones regulate our behavior in mating and falling in love. Does the fact that feelings of love are a hormonal process make love not as impactful as we think? No! The feeling of love is a powerful emotion that benefits us in a big way. It helps us maintain relationships, do good things for others, do good for things for ourselves, protect others, and feel a sense of belonging and safety in life. Without the emotion of love, we would feel lonely, scared, selfish, and abandoned.
What Is True Love?
Let’s leave the biology behind and say that true love is the state you are in when you feel connected, attached, and happy with someone. It is a place where you feel a permanent sense of connection with someone else, regardless of what happens.
In addition, the definition of true love goes far beyond what your body does and feels, or how you view someone in a relationship. True love can also be defined as you how you act in a relationship with someone.
True love is about meeting each other’s expectations and loving each other with trust, acceptance, and support. True love is about treating someone with the kind of respect that they deserve because you view them in a loving manner.
11 Signs That You Have Found True Love
True love is about the way you perceive someone. If you can step outside of your ego and see the value in someone else and the value in forming relationships with some give-and-take, then you can develop the mental attitude towards someone that results in a loving bond that can’t be broken. If you are not sure if you are experiencing true love or not, then following are 11 signs of true love to watch for.
1. Nothing Is Hidden
People who are experiencing true love don’t hide stuff from each other. They openly share their lives because they want to share their lives with that person. That is a part of being in a loving long-term relationship with someone. You don’t want to hide anything from them because you want them to share in your life – the good and the bad – and understand what you experience.
2. You Don’t Play Games
People who are living in a state of lust, a false sense of admiration for someone, or a total sense of selfishness, will play games. When you are thinking more about yourself and your needs and pleasure than someone else, you are not in a state of true love and you will do ridiculous things with a lack of seriousness and respect for the other person.
For instance, if someone feels like they want to keep someone in their lives, solely for the purpose of fulfilling a need they have, then they are going to play games in order to do that. Someone pretending to be pregnant or suicidal in order to keep someone are just two examples of games that are not a part of true love.
3. There Is Complete Respect
If you have found true love, then you will give and receive respect. You will respect them for who they are and what they do in the world, including with you. You will see the good in them. You will treat them as a human being and view them as your equal, not your superior or someone who is lower than you. And, they will treat you with the same level of respect.
4. You Care About Each Other’s Welfare
We all want more happiness in our lives, and the following happiness quotes can help us find it. They offer insight from people who have experienced unhappiness and happiness, who have learned their lessons the hard way, and who have gained enough insight to understand what happiness is really all about.
Read each one of the following happiness quotes and reflect on what they truly mean. Some of these have the happiness lesson hidden inside of them, but the more you reflect, the more you will internalize the lessons that will help you find more happiness in life. Some of these happiness quotes are long and impactful, and some of them are short and just as impactful. They all contain insight that we need to hear.
50 Happiness Quotes To Take To Heart
Self-esteem is the basis of all things in your life. Yes, it helps you stand up to bullies and be honest with your feelings, but it goes far, far beyond that. Your self-esteem affects every choice you make in life and it gives you the courage and ability to grow and become happier, which means your health, relationships, career, creativity, mental strength, physical strength, and spiritual strength all revolve around your self-esteem.
So, how to build self-esteem is something everyone should be considering, not just people who feel like they have low self-esteem. Everyone can benefit from a boost in confidence and self-worth. Productive people will become more productive, happy people will become happier, and healthy people will become healthier.
Your Intuition Requires Self-Esteem
This is not something that many people think about, but it is extremely important to know and remember. Every successful person on the planet will tell you that their intuition helps them make decisions. Kelly Turner, Ph.D. said that every radical remission cancer survivor she ever saw used intuition when it came to making choices that related to their healing processes. And, Oprah said that listening to her intuition is what helped her get where she is today.
When you can read a situation immediately and gain a sense of what is happening and what you should do, even without having any physical proof of the situation, you can make choices that benefit you in a great way.
For instance, if you are planning to make new goals soon, there are different tools that can help you figure out which goals are the best for you and which ones will have the greatest chance of working out. However, your intuition needs to be present in order to make some big choices that will impact your future. If you are stuck between two great paths, then you can reason things out all you want, but your intuition will pull you one way over another, and it’s important to tune into that.
Your intuition requires self-esteem. If you are not confident in yourself, and you have to seek out other’s opinion or their help to make decisions, then you are not going to make decisions based on your intuition. You are going to make them based on influence and other people’s intuition! You will doubt your intuition, even if it is screaming at you, and that is going to cost you a lot of what you want in life.
10 Tips On How To Build Self-Esteem
Action is the key on how to build self-esteem. You can read all the articles and books you want on building self-esteem, but if you don’t take action, and develop the power from within, you will never have the self-esteem you want. When it comes to self-esteem, it matters what you do, not what you know.
1. Gain Courage To Speak Up
First, you have to build up your courage to say what you need to say. This includes the word ‘no’, but it also includes telling other people how you feel or telling them when they are mistreating you in some way. In addition, you need the courage to speak up to yourself so that you can stop denying what is going wrong in your life and how you need to fix it.
You’ve been given a voice, so use it at the moments you need to use it. If you listen to your intuition, you will know when you need to use it. You will feel like you should speak up or you should take action with yourself and with others, and that is the time to just do it! It will feel awkward at first, but the power you feel from speaking your mind will boost your self-esteem and it will become easier to do it as you go along.
2. Stop Listening To What Others Think
Your family and friends can be a huge influence on your life, but they are acting out of their own knowledge, beliefs, and intuition, not yours. If you do what they want you to do, then you are not going to feel good about yourself because you are not being true to yourself. This means you need to make decisions based off what you feel, not what they feel, and that will require you to say no to them once in a while and to do something completely different than what they expect. At first you will be nervous, but you will find that your family and friends are going to be there no matter what you do. They may not agree with you, and they may make it known, but your confidence in yourself will help you overcome their criticism with ease.
However, it’s not just your friends and family that you have to stop listening to. Commercials, ads, and product developers are marketing towards your self-esteem. Don’t believe me? Watch any commercial for a product, and they will target you by telling you how you can feel better about yourself by using their product.
You have to stop listening to them. You don’t need the latest gadget to feel better about yourself. You don’t need to get take the latest pill or get the latest surgery to be a more attractive person. You just need to learn how to build self-esteem and feel great about yourself without those insignificant things.
3. Gain Your Own Respect By Following Through With What You Say
When I started working online, I had no focus. I was all over the place, because I was trying to do too much at once. And then I was introduced to Mark Joyner, a man who strongly believes in focus in life, and that’s when my life took a turn for the better. He answers the question, ‘What is focus?’ in an easy to understand way, and he clearly shines a light on why it is so important to every area of your life. You can always go and check him out, but if you are debating how important focus is in your life, then you will want to keep reading.
What Is Focus?
Focus is being fixated on a certain point. It may be on a certain goal you have for your health, relationship, career, or happiness, or it may be something that is demanding your attention right now, such as a sick loved one or another personal crisis. When you live with focus, you fixate on something and can clearly see what it is and what needs to be done. Your brain is thinking about whatever your focus is on, and it stays there until something else demands its attention.
What Is Focus Good For?
In short – everything. Having the ability to focus is a characteristic that will benefit you in every area of your life, not just in your goals.
1. Focus Helps You See What You Need To Do
When you can keep your attention on something long enough, you can clearly see what you need to do. But, when your attention is being pulled from one thing to another, you don’t have the same ability.
For instance, if you run a business, then staying focused on things you are implementing, and the results they are getting, can help you tweak what you do in your business for more success. But, if you are running a business and trying to do something else on the side that requires a lot of your attention, then your focus is divided between two things, and you may miss opportunities to tweak your business and make it more successful.
2. Focus Helps You Achieve What You Want
If you have the ability to stay focused on a task, despite setbacks or delays, then you can achieve what you want to achieve. When you are focused on what you want, your attention stays there no matter what happens. You don’t get lost in thought or worries, instead, you keep finding ways to move through issues and get the results you are looking for.
3. Focus Helps You Achieve Things Faster
When I first started focusing on what I wanted, I was able to finish a week’s worth of stuff in one day! Again, this is thanks to Mark Joyner and his Simpleology software. It’s amazing how much faster you can get stuff done when you are focused on it. You don’t switch between tasks. You don’t stop to check something else out that should just take a few minutes, but ends up taking an hour to two. You just stay committed to what you need to do and that focus helps you get things done quickly.
4. Focus Keeps You In The Present Moment
Being focused helps you stay present. You don’t worry or regret. You are too busy focusing on what you need to do and want to get done, which means you are busy doing, not thinking. When you are doing, you automatically start living in the now. You don’t get lost in thought. The action you are taking is keeping you in the moment and centered on what you need to do.
How Can You Stay More Focused?
The truth is that everything is hard to do before it becomes easy, including being focused. If you are used to a million different things pulling your attention from one place to another, then you are going to have a hard time staying focused on any one thing. You need to have discipline in order to develop a new way of thinking and behaving, but once you have developed that discipline, life is going to get much easier for you.
There are different techniques you can use to develop that discipline. Following are just a few of them.
1. Plan Out Your Day
Experts say that every minute you spend planning out your day will save you as much as 10 minutes of action. In other words, planning helps you figure out where you need to put your focus and get busy on doing the stuff that matters most. So, you may want to get some sort of software or planner that will help you plan out your day.
I’ve talked about Mark Joyner and his Simpleology. All you have to do is sign up, learn how to use the software, and start using it the way it was intended. If you do, you will find that you have a much easier time staying focused. It will be the training tool that helps you get into the habit of being focused, and even after you start to become more focused on what you are doing, you will still use it – because it is a tool that helps you plan your day and your life.
There are other software’s that can help you stay focused too. Goals on Track is one of them. It helps you break down your day and clearly see what you need to do before the day is up.
And, if you prefer a planner, then get that. Just make sure you don’t spend too much time writing stuff down and going over it, because planners can draw in that kind of behavior. Instead, use it to write stuff down, figure out what you need to do next, and keep your life organized so that you can just focus on what you need to do.
2. Pick What Matters Most
Once you plan out your day, go through the list and figure out what matters most to you. When things really matter to you, you will be more likely to put and keep your focus on them. If things are not really interesting to you or feel like a bore, then you will find yourself reaching for other things to do in order to avoid the pain of doing them.
A lot of experts recommend doing the things you hate first. But, others recommend doing things you love and getting rid of the things you hate. I have found that the latter has been beneficial for my happiness and success in life, and it is a much better option for keeping myself focused on what I want to do. However, if you can’t get rid of those painful tasks, then use some of the following tips to get through them as quickly as possible.
3. Use Alerts And Notes