Monthly Archives: January 2016
Monthly Archives: January 2016
If you want to have success in any area of life, it all boils down to one question: How bad do you want it? The more you want it, the more likely you are going to achieve it, especially when it comes to the hard things. If you don’t want it bad enough, the chances of you giving up, failing, or getting discouraged are high.
The truth is that you can do anything you want, if you want it bad enough. You can go after your dreams and have the kind of success you want in your career. You can become healthier in body and in mind. You can change your whole life upside down. And it doesn’t matter what age you are or what experiences you have had thus far. If you want it bad enough, you can make all your dreams come true at the age of 20 all the way up to 100, because you will do what it takes.
Can’t understand why you only seem to want things half as bad as other people? Frustrated with yourself for not following through? Following are a few huge things to consider about why you can’t make it happen.
1. Things Take Time To Get
If you are planning to create goals in your life, then you need to ask yourself how bad you want it first. When goals are made, the result you want is going to be weeks, months, and sometimes even years away from now, which means that you have to want it bad enough to stick with your plan to achieve that goal.
If you don’t want it bad enough, then you will not do what needs to be done. You will put things off, skip important tasks, and start to lose the desire to do what you need to do. If you were to get what you want tomorrow, this wouldn’t be an issue, but, things normally don’t work out that way. Therefore, before you make any goal, put a realistic time frame on it and ask yourself if you want it bad enough to stick with what you need to do.
2. It’s Hard To Change
It’s not hard to do the things we already do, because we want to do them badly. We want to sleep. We want to eat. We want to watch our favorite TV shows. When someone tries to take those things away from us, we feel annoyed and upset because we want them so much.
When you are going after something you want, sometimes you have to sacrifice things that you already want badly, which can be really hard to do! You’ve worked hard to create the environment you are currently living in, and when you have to stop doing things that help you deal with your life or make you feel comfortable, it can become downright painful.
3. You Can Talk Yourself Out Of Anything
It’s important to learn how to get to know yourself. Great things are going to happen if you do! Doors will open up, happiness will increase, and you will start living according to your own desires in life, which will feel amazing. You won’t feel like you are living someone else’s life or in someone else’s shadow. You won’t feel uncertain about what you want to do next. You will understand who you are and make choices based on that understanding. And, you will be able to say no to people when you need to.
One of the most rewarding things about knowing yourself is that you can hold your head up high and be confident telling other people who you are. That confidence will feel amazing, and people will respect you for it.
Not sure where to start? Following are some important ways on how to get to know yourself starting today.
Declare You Are Going To Acknowledge Yourself Starting Today
You have to stop focusing on what other people want in order to get to know yourself better. With all of their words, ideas, requests, demands and opinions floating around in your head, it can be hard to listen to yourself! The best way to do this is to practice the affirmation ‘I acknowledge myself always’. This affirmation will remind you that you want to be yourself and celebrate the real you. Trust me, the more you say it to yourself, the more you want to get to know yourself.
For years, I let my friends and family dictate who I was because I wasn’t paying attention to what I really wanted or how I really felt. I was too busy trying to impress them and stay on their good side. One day I was watching a show on TV about acknowledging yourself and admitting that you were the most important person in your life. It was a message I had heard before, but for some reason, it resonated with me that day. Probably because I was tired of hiding my true self and felt an inner need to express my true likes, beliefs, and opinions. From that day forward, I started to really get to know myself.
If you are reading an article on how to get to know yourself, then I think you are probably also tired of hiding your true self. You feel the need to be who you are and who you were meant to be, and that inner voice has gotten too loud to ignore. So don’t! Make a commitment to acknowledge yourself first, and listen to what resonates with you as the truth, rather than listening to other people.
One important thing to consider is that you are unique. You are not like everyone else, and no one else can read your mind, so you have to turn inwards in order to discover who you really are. There is no other way to find out.
Start Paying Attention To Your Emotions
Your emotions are your most important guide towards getting to know yourself. When you feel bad, depressed, tired, unmotivated, ticked off, or any other negative emotion, something is wrong. Something you are doing, saying, or thinking is not working for you, and it’s important to admit that so you can find out what it is.
On the other hand, if you are feeling good, energetic, happy, positive, or any other positive emotion, then you are doing, saying, or thinking something in line with who you are.
For example, if you are watching a horror movie, and you feel sick to your stomach and want to get out, then you may be someone who does not like horror movies. A friend of mine used to go to horror movies because he thought it was the cool thing to do, but they literally depressed the heck out of him, and he finally had to admit that they affected him negatively. Once he stopped trying to be cool, he was able to ditch those movies from his life, and he felt much better about himself. His friends made fun of him, but he didn’t care. His happiness was more important than their expectations.
Some optimal times to pay attention to your emotions are:
Everyone has the ability to plan a romantic date night. You really only need three ingredients to plan a romantic night: surprise, excitement, and love. It’s much easier to think of some romantic ideas when you keep those things in mind. But, don’t worry if you can’t come up with your own, because following are 15 romantic ideas for your next date that you can easily do. Some take more time to plan, while some take more money, but you will find a romantic idea that inspires you to get planning!
1. Create Your Own Hotel Atmosphere At Home
It’s fun to rent a hotel room out for the night and get away, even if it is just for one day. But not everyone can go to a hotel. The good news is that you can bring the hotel to you with just a few little tweaks in your home. This will take a little bit of imagination, but when you create a hotel in your own home, clothing is optional and acting inappropriate is allowed.
The best two parts in a hotel are the restaurant and room, so focus on those two points. For the restaurant, buy one of those fancy menu boards, create a menu that will make you both feel amazing, and then make it or bring it home from your favorite restaurant.
Make sure you have a selection of drinks to choose from. Set the table with candles and flowers to recreate a romantic table. In fact, you may want to change your kitchen up with some flowers and candles so that it looks a little different than your regular kitchen, which will help with the restaurant atmosphere.
For the bedroom, put on some clean sheets, put some mints on the pillow and some flower petals on the bed, and rearrange the room a little to create a sense of the unknown. You will be surprised at how moving a few things around can make a bedroom feel completely new.
2. Cooking Class
Learning anything new together is a great way to spend a date night. When you share new experiences together, you feel more connected during and after, and that helps you feel more in love. This is especially true when it’s something you have never experienced before.
When it comes to cooking, there are so many different types of classes out there, from Mexican to Italian to pressure cooking, that you could literally be experiencing something new each week.
The best part is that as you learn about a specific type of cooking, you are ensuring that there are plenty of yummy date nights to come with unique and exciting food. Cooking instructors make sure you leave knowing what you need to know to create the meals they demonstrated.
3. The Before The Bar Date (Without The Bar)
If you are no longer going to the bar, but remember those late nights eating poutine or pizza and getting ready to dance the night away, then a night out getting ready to go to the bar, without actually going to the bar, will bring back some old feelings of excitement about what is happening and passion about the person you are with.
Get dressed as if you are about to spend the night out. Drive down to the place where your favorite bar or old hangout was or is, and order some greasy or fatty food to get you ready for a night of drinking, dancing, and having fun. Enjoy the atmosphere, let other people’s energy infuse with yours as they anticipate their long night ahead, and then go home and pretend that you just had a long night out that ends – well, however you want it to end.
Note: If you feel like it, you can actually go to the bar. But speaking from experience, things change and it doesn’t seem as exciting as it once did if you haven’t gone for a while. Plus, it’s loud, smelly, and exhausting! But, if you are still into that, or just want to really relive the nights you use to party until the wee hours of the morning together, then go for it!
4. The Happy Hour Date
Skip the dinner and just go out for drinks and a nice conversation. Happy hour is usually between 5 and 7 on any weeknight, and because you get your drinks for cheap, you can double up the amount you are getting and let yourselves unwind.
There is something about sitting down with your lover and sipping on a drink. It’s not something that we do often, and there is a certain kind of presence and calmness that comes from this kind of date. But, at the same time, a feeling of excitement and pleasure can be felt.
Without the food, you will be focused on each other and your surroundings. With the right atmosphere and a few drinks, this can create a mood where you learn more about each other, laugh, discuss, and feel more connected than ever.
5. Out Of Town Date Night
We all want to believe that there is someone out there specifically for us, but is there? And if we do believe it, is it going to hurt us or help us in some way? After a lot of research on what people believe about soulmates, I’ve made my own conclusion. However, it may differ from yours!
Let’s talk about some different soulmate theories. These are things that people believe with all their heart, and sometimes they believe it so much that it has a negative impact on their life. At the end, you should have a better understanding of what you really believe about the potential of a soulmate and how you should go forward from here. But, first, let’s define the word soulmate and then I’ll give you my theory.
The Common Definition Of A Soulmate
The most common definition of ‘soulmate’ is so simple that it almost doesn’t require such a big word like soulmate. The definition is that a soulmate is someone who is ideally suited for someone else, either as a friend or romantic partner. To me, that just sounds like a ‘good match’ not a ‘soulmate’ – someone who you connect with on a level of the soul.
My Idea About Soulmates
If you think about what a soul is supposed to be, it is the part of a person that lives on forever. It is the energetic and spiritual part of us that likely had a lot of mysteries locked up inside of it. That means that when we find someone who resonates with us at the level of the soul, then our soul should have a good inclination of whether or not they are supposed to be with us or be in our lives in some way.
That’s what I consider a soulmate. Someone whom our soul recognizes instantly. Someone whom our soul knows is someone that is supposed to be in our life. Whether they are in our life for a few hours or a lifetime, they are meant to benefit us in some way, and our soul knows that. In other words, I believe that we can have thousands of soulmates throughout life because I think everyone resonates with us on some level.
5 Other Interesting Theories On Soulmates (And What’s Wrong With Them)
A lot of people have their own personal opinion about what a soulmate is, and, in some cases, it can affect their lives in a very negative way. While the idea of a soulmate is nice, it shouldn’t be what governs your life.
1. Our Friends Are Our True Soulmates
Some people believe that our romantic partners are not our soulmates, but our friends are actually our true soulmates. They argue that the connection we with have with friends can often go very deep and have an impact on our lives that our romantic partners don’t have.
For instance, our friends challenge us at a deep level. They give it to us straight, help us work things out, and make us so mad that we don’t talk to them for weeks, but we always reconnect when the anger subsides. Friends are there through thick and thin, and we are less likely to break up with our friends if they do something stupid, whereas we will often break up with a lover.
That’s a good argument for a soulmate! It shows that even though we are challenged by our friends in this life, our soul knows that we need them in order to have the experiences we need, and so they are a constant in our lives in some way.
The problem with this is that we can start to treat our partners or spouses as ‘less than’. They are simply there to have fun with and share a life with, but not necessarily have a connection that we can with our friends. I’ve seen people hurt their partners in a big way because they believe in this theory, and it doesn’t seem fair to think about your partner, who is there for you every day, as less than other people in life.
For instance, I had one friend who believed her best friend was her soulmate. She would leave her husband at home on the weekend as she went out and had fun with her best friend. She would tell her best friend secrets that she wouldn’t share with her husband. And, she took her friend’s opinion over her husband’s.
2. The People We See Often Are Our Soulmates
This is an interesting theory! You know those people that you see over and over again, no matter where you go? You don’t know them. You don’t even acknowledge them. But somehow they turn up at the same places you are, even when you are somewhere you have never been or somewhere really far away! It’s almost as if they were meant to be in your life somehow. Maybe they are there to make an impact at some point, or maybe they are there just to remind your soul that they have not abandoned it. I guarantee it, you will never look at these people the same way after you reflect on this theory.
The problem with this is that you could put more importance on them than they deserve. If they are someone who doesn’t like you, but you believe that they are your soulmate, then stalking and obsessing can begin, and that’s where the problems start. Moreover, if you are already in a relationship, and believe they are your destiny, then that can really hurt your relationship.
A woman on Dr. Phil claimed that her one-time encounter with a country singer named Kip Moore convinced her that she was destined to be with him. She was married, but she was willing to break up that marriage if Kip would show interest in her. She obsessed about him and how they were meant to be together so much that it was almost pathetic to watch her claim that she loved a man who obviously didn’t love her back. And, obviously, her marriage was in the tubes because of it.
3. A Soulmate Is The Other Half Of Your Soul
This is a theory that many people want to believe in when they think of romantic love. The other half of your soul is out there, waiting for you to find it, and when you do, you feel connected like never before. It’s as if you feel whole and complete when you find that other half, and you become stronger and more capable in this world.
Plato, the philosopher, may have started this theory. He taught that women and men were made in one body and then separated by the gods, which would mean that half of us is still out there somewhere!
The problem with this theory is that some people become obsessed with finding their soulmate. They feel inadequate and incapable without having found the person who completes them, and they spend more time trying to find their soulmate than they do actually making themselves into who they want to be and experiencing life! This creates a sense of neediness rather than confidence, and it can be detrimental to their happiness.
Moreover, if you think you marry your soulmate, and they end up wanting a divorce down the line, it has a huge potential to crush your spirit! You may wonder why your soulmate, the person who contains the other half of your soul, could possibly leave you, and how you are supposed to live incomplete if they leave. This can cause unhealthy relationship behavior and a whole bunch of problems that don’t need to be in the relationship.
Lastly, this belief can cause people to stay in unhealthy relationships simply because they believe the person is their soulmate. I see questions like this all the time on forums. Someone will say their partner abuses them or mistreats them, but they are their soulmate so they don’t want to leave them. This belief can keep someone in an abusive or unhealthy relationship much longer than they should be (which is one minute or more in my opinion!)
4. There Is No Such Thing As A Soulmate
Many people, especially Christians, seem to believe there is no such thing as soulmates. They believe that God has not made another soul specifically for you. It doesn’t matter how connected you feel, or how drawn you were to each other, it has nothing to do with your souls being connected.
Moreover, many Christians believe that if someone is constantly looking for the one soul who completes them, then they are not living for Christ, but rather for the soul they were meant to be with.
The problem with this theory is that it is kind of lacking hope. It’s nice to think that someone or a few people are out there who we are completely compatible with. It’s nice to know that other people out there could have our back and know us at an intimate level that we are not even aware of yet.
5. Anyone Could Be Our Soulmate
Being single has some advantages, but being in love does too! I’m talking about healthy relationships where trust, communication, and satisfaction are high, and even when disagreements come along, you can still say that you are in love and work things back to where they were.
I’m NOT talking about being in love with an abuser or someone who mistreats you. I’m not talking about when you are unhappy and unfilled in your relationship. I’m talking about the type of relationship that you should be striving for. If you are not currently there, hopefully these will be some reasons to strive for that healthy relationship.
1. It Gives You Courage
When you love someone else, you are willing to do things for them that you wouldn’t necessarily have the courage to do by yourself. The love you feel gives you the courage to act on going after your dreams so that you can become a better person for them, or so that you can create a better life for them. Working harder, becoming more intelligent, and staying true to the person you want to be are all things you gain courage towards when you are in love.
2. It Gives You Strength
When someone has real love for you, they are behind you one hundred percent. They believe in you and encourage you, and you feel a thousand times stronger than you feel when it’s just you pep talking yourself up.
Strength is necessary to follow through with your courageous attempts. For instance, applying to a job you want and going in for an interview takes courage, but you need strength to stick with the job when tough times come around.
3. It Encourages You To Think Twice
Before you do stupid stuff, you will consider the person you are in love with. This is a huge benefit of being in love. Not only does it stop you from doing things that could actually harm you, but it also encourages you to listen to your inner guidance system more about what is right or not right for you. That will ultimately help you create the life you want because your inner guidance system knows what the next step in your journey needs to be.
4. It Helps You Accept Your Mistakes
When you are in love, you still make mistakes. The only difference is that you don’t beat yourself up about it over and over again because you have someone to remind you that it’s alright to make mistakes. You are still loved by them. You are still the amazing person they knew before the mistake. And, they fully accept you for the human that you are who makes mistakes.
Someone who loves you will also forgive you for the little mistakes you make with them, such as forgetting to do something for them, having a huge mood swing where you say something you shouldn’t, or doing something unintentionally that makes them upset. They won’t harp on those mistakes or try to make you feel bad because being in love is not about hurting the other person. Instead, they will forgive you and work with you to make things better in the future.
5. It Makes You Of Service To Someone Else
One of the best things in life is being of service to other people and enriching their lives, and when you are in love, you get the honor of doing that to someone’s life day after day. As some experts say, for the most rewarding experience, you shouldn’t focus on give-and-take in the relationship, you should focus on giving everything you have to the relationship. That means doing things to make the other person happy and comfortable in the relationship, sometimes even at the sacrifice of your own happiness and comfort. It’s amazing what we will do to see the people we love smile.
6. You Can Be Yourself
There are so many things to be grateful for each day, but many people don’t see those things. They see the struggles, the failures, the disappointments, and they let those negative things define their life, both in how they view it and how they live it. That’s the disadvantage of not seeing what there is to be grateful for. You get stuck looking through a negative lens, and life looks pretty ugly.
But, gratitude turns that negative life upside down. Living in a state of gratitude becomes a way of life, and you start to see life through a different lens, one that can really focus in on the beautiful things that life has to offer. In short, it can change your whole view on life, which can have a huge impact on it.
Following are the main benefits of gratitude. I have a feeling that you will find them too good to ignore, and you will create the intention to make gratitude a bigger part of your life in whatever way you can.
1. You Infect Other People
An attitude of gratitude is contagious. You can view it as a huge gift you have to give to everyone you come across. Why? When you are thankful for things, both big and small, you infect other people with your joy. Even the grumpiest people can be affected by your positivity, which means that gratitude is a great way to help others feel better about themselves and even you
The next time you are talking to someone who is complaining, try seeing if you can infect them with gratitude. For instance, if they are complaining about the rain, tell them that you are ecstatic it is raining because now you try out your new umbrella. Or, if you know them really well, use something that they will relate to. If they like gardening, tell them how thankful you are for the much needed rain, and watch as they rethink how they feel about the whole situation.
2. It Expands Your Awareness
One of the benefits of gratitude that everyone will appreciate is awareness. If you want to be more conscious of what is happening in your life, then practice gratitude. It helps you become more aware of what is happening around you and allows you to feel and perceive things deeper than when you are not appreciating what is happening.
Have you ever noticed that when you complain, you get stuck in your own mind? You focus on the things that suck, the people that suck, and how annoyed or frustrated you are with everything and everyone. You can’t see what is happening right in front of you because you are so stuck inside of your head. I have literally missed huge opportunities because I was stuck in a state of thanklessness, and only realized what was going on later when I was able to reflect on the situation.
Being aware helps you stay present and live every moment of your life. You don’t miss amazing moments, like a child’s laugh or the first leaf falling during the fall. You don’t become oblivious to opportunities that come your way for new relationships, more success, or more happiness. You are focused on finding things to be grateful for, so you are living in the moment and seeing it all. That’s a great way to live!
3. It Helps You Combat Stress
Overcoming adversity is imperative. In fact, you can’t have the happiness and success you want unless you have adversity in your life and overcome it. It is essential for progressing into who you want to be. It shows you what you are made of. It teaches you more about yourself, how to approach what you want, and how to maintain the success that you have. Without it, you wouldn’t know how far you could go or how capable you are because you wouldn’t have anything to push you or compare to.
The truth is that life is full of adversity. Some things are small, some things are big, but all of them need to be overcome. The sooner we all understand that, the less we will all struggle with the ‘why me’ question.
Adversity happens to everyone, but not everyone deals with it in the same way. The people who can overcome it are the people who are happy and successful in life. The people who struggle with it are the people who feel like they can’t wait to get this hard life over with. Which side would you rather be on? If you want to live a fulfilling life, I hope you choose to tackle it head on! Following are tips on overcoming adversity that you can use to create the life you want.
1. Accept That It’s Happening
First, don’t try to deny that it is happening. If you don’t accept that it is happening, then you won’t see what needs to be done to overcome it. I realize this can be hard. We want to tell ourselves that nothing is wrong or needs to be fixed. We want to tell ourselves that we can close our eyes, open them back up, and everything will be alright. But, it doesn’t work that way. If something is happening, then it is happening, and you need to accept it for what it is, and accept that you need to do something to overcome it.
2. Accept That You CAN Do Something About It
The second step to overcoming adversity is to accept that you are capable of overcoming it. If you strongly believe that it is going to beat you down, then it will. You won’t bother doing anything to overcome it. Instead, you will let it takes its beating on you and wait for it to stop, which it will in some way, but you won’t have the outcome you want.
The only way to overcome adversity and come out stronger is to accept that you have the power to do something about it. Other people have been where you are and overcame it. Other people have found a way out or over or through. If they can do it, so can you!
3. Pound Your Chest (Or Something Similar)
Making the choice to forgive and let go is much harder than holding on to hate, resentment, and anger. We want to get justice for the things that have happened to us, and the best way to do that is to hold on to the anger and never forget or forgive. We want those people to pay for the rest of our lives, and our anger and dislike of them ensures that they do – in our own mind. Of course, we keep ourselves in a state of negativity by doing so and the people we won’t forgive move on with their lives while we stay stuck.
It’s funny that one of the hardest things to do is also one of the most beneficial things we can do for our lives. I guess that’s why they say that doing the hard things makes us stronger and happier in life. The benefits of forgiveness make it a practice that we all should be doing.
The simple truth is that you are often going to be met with situations where forgiveness is required. Maybe once a month, maybe once a week, or maybe once a day. The choice you make – to forgive or not forgive – will determine a lot for your life.
So, what are the benefits of forgiveness? Following are 11 of them that should convince you that it’s time to let go and move on.
1. Stops War And Promotes Peace
Forgiveness is one of the keys to peace. When we can’t forgive other people for what they do or say, we keep ourselves in a state of war with them. We battle over how right we are, and, obviously, that affects everything in a very negative way, whether the war is on a big scale or a small scale.
Having little wars with others in your life is a bad thing! The consequences of war is loss: loss of time, energy, happiness, relationships, etc. Therefore, one of the benefits of forgiveness, and experiencing peace instead of war, includes things like gaining time, gaining energy, gaining happiness, and gaining relationships.
Moreover, having wars with yourself is a bad thing. Contemplating what you should have done, what they should have done, and what you can do to make it all better, is just as bad as actually fighting with the other person.
2. Karma Works In Your Favor
We all believe in karma on some level because we have all seen it in action. If you do bad things, bad things come into your life and are done unto you. To me, karma is a way of teaching you who you are and what you want out of life, and a way of showing you how you are currently interacting with life. Sometimes we are not aware of how crazy we are being!
Karma works for both good and bad. When you receive something good, it is likely because of something good you did. However, even good things are a way to assess your life. You learn what you have been doing and what you need to do in the future.
When you can’t forgive others, you will find that situations happen in life where others can’t forgive you. There is nothing worse than being on the wrong end of a ‘forgiveness-required’ situation. You will feel bad, unworthy, unwanted, or many other negative emotions, and that causes you to pay others back by not forgiving them either.
But, when you do forgive others, you become much luckier in life. Perhaps it is because you can focus on more positive emotions and, therefore, attract more positive things to you. No matter what karma really is, you will find that your willingness to forgive will help you experience a more favorable future.
3. Spiritual Growth Happens
Bitter people are everywhere. They are in your family, they are your friends, they are the strangers you have to deal with each day, and they are the random people who try to make you feel bad through social media or other means. When you get excited about life, they try to shoot you down to their level. When you are around them, they try to bring you down to their level. They are all about being miserable and making other people miserable.
The reality is that if you surround yourself with bitter people, you will become bitter yourself. Your attitude about life will shift, and it will affect your life, your other relationships, your career, and everything else. You need to figure out a way on how to deal with bitter people for your own sanity.
How NOT To Deal With Bitter People
The first thing to understand is that you can’t please them, no matter what you say or do. That’s because it isn’t you that is making them bitter – it’s their own thoughts and perceptions about life. They are telling themselves a very negative story; one where they are living an unfair life that, they think, has made them who they are. Really, it’s their thoughts and perceptions towards what has happened in their life that has made them who they are, but they don’t want to hear that.
The point is that doing everything you can to make them happy will never work. It will only drain your energy and make you miserable. In my opinion, it is a complete waste of your time. Moreover, it will make you hate them, and you shouldn’t hate anyone in your life. It doesn’t benefit your life in any way. So, if you are doing it – stop! Following are some better ways to deal with bitter people in your life.
4 Choices On How To Deal With Bitter People
Following are some different choices for how to deal with bitter people. Some may work for one and not for another; however, if it is someone you care about, I strongly recommend choice number four!
Choice 1: Get Some Space
If you are dealing with a bitter family member that lives with you, move out or stop coming out of your room so much. If you are dealing with a bitter friend who you spend 7 days a week with, cut down that time. The longer you stay in their whirlwind of negativity, the more you will get sucked into it and have to deal with it. That’s draining on you and it affects your ability to live the life you want.
If you are dealing with bitter strangers, then just distance yourself from them however you can. Don’t read their comments or stand there and listen to them. Move away from them when they try to interact with you negatively. Put as much space between you and them as possible so that you can focus on other things that actually matter.
Choice 2: Don’t Interact With Them When They Are Being Bitter
Have you ever noticed the word strong always precedes independent girls? I think the very definition of the word independent implies strength; however, I also believe that the word strong is added to further get the message across because we are talking about a female. When it comes to a man, we usually say ‘strong men’ or ‘independent men’ but not both together.
The truth is that independent girls are strong. In fact, they may be stronger than men because they have to fight against the stereotypes put in front of them in regards to independence. Not sure if you understand independent girls or what they are going through? Following are 22 things you need to know.
1. You Can’t Tell Them What To Do
Independent girls are not controlled by anyone. They know what they want and like, and they are not going to let anyone tell them what is right or wrong, because they already know! Their moral compass is set in one direction, they know what they like, they know what they don’t like, and if you are trying to tell them to do something that goes against what they feel to be right for them, they are not going to agree.
2. They Do Need Help Sometimes
As independent as they seem, they still need help sometimes! They’re human and need support and help to accomplish the things they want. Unfortunately, they know that as soon as they admit they need help, certain people are going to judge just how independent they are based on their request. Yet, independent girls are comfortable with who they are, and they are not easily influenced by outside judgments, so they will still ask for help when they need to.
3. They Want A Loving Relationship
You will find that independent girls will not stay in toxic relationships for long. In fact, they usually will see the warning signs and avoid the toxic relationship all together. However, this doesn’t mean they are looking to fly solo their whole lives. They want someone in their lives who they can love and have a good relationship with. However, their requirements for a relationship look a lot different than girls who are not independent.
For instance, they are looking for:
– An independent partner who has control of their own life.
– A confident partner who will not become insecure as they go after the things they want in life.
– A stable partner who is not flipping and flopping from one place to the next, unsure of where they want to be.
– A supportive partner who is there to help them when things get rough in life.
– A partner who can stand up to their mother and other women in their life! This is especially true for heterosexual relationships where the guy’s mother may see independence as a bad thing.
Independent girls value a good guy like this, and will treat him with the respect, support, and love that he gives them.
4. They Get Put Down For Their Independence
Because the stereotype of what girls should be like is still in place, there is a lot of resistance when a girl tries to be independent. There are a lot of haters both in her life and outside of her life trying to influence her to be someone else. Her mother wants her to be the woman she imagined her to be, and so does her father. Her boss wants her to act the way a good female employee should act. Her friends have their own expectations and criticize the life she is living or wants to live because it doesn’t match up to their ideals. And random people on the Internet are quick to point out how ridiculous she is for wanting what she wants or acting like she does. She is hit with resistance every which way she turns, and it can be frustrating as she tries to do what is best for her.
5. Their Goals Are Killer
Marriage and kids can be goals of independent girls, but they also have some passionate goals that go beyond the scope of traditions. They know who they are and what their passions are, and they have big goals in line with those passions. Their head is full of accomplishments that will empower them and make them feel alive.
6. They Enjoy Their Alone Time