Monthly Archives: February 2016
Monthly Archives: February 2016
We all know some couples that seem to have the perfect relationship. Many people are quick to point out that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but the definition of perfect is ‘having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics’, which just means being the best that it can be. It is the type of relationship that most people strive for but fail to achieve.
A perfect relationship is fun and satisfying. There are many characteristics of this kind of relationship that unhealthy relationships just don’t have. It’s important to note that if you falter on just one important characteristic of a healthy relationship, then the rest can be affected as well. That’s why relationships take work and commitment to the following 20 aspects.
1. They Focus On Each Other’s Happiness
People who are selfish in a relationship have a lot of problems. A relationship where each person is looking out for themselves is going to be full of arguments, stress, and anger because one person is always going to feel like their needs in the relationship, and as a person, are not being met.
People who are in a seemingly perfect relationship, take into account each other’s feeling and needs, which causes them to think things through before they speak and do things that help maintain their partner’s happiness. They don’t just take into consideration their own needs and values, but their partner’s as well.
2. They Argue Well
In a perfect relationship, there is no punching walls, throwing things, or calling each other names. There is no attacking or blaming. Those are the kinds of behaviors that affect a relationship negatively on every level, and even the best actors wouldn’t be able to pretend like their relationship is great.
Instead, they stay calm, talk things through, avoid saying or doing hurtful things, and come to a resolution in one way or the other. They communicate well, which means they share their opinions and listen to their partners without judgement.
3. They Respect Each Other
Two people in a healthy relationship admire each other as individuals, which allows them to treat each other with respect. When you have respect for someone, it is easier to be kind, considerate, patient, and hold them in high regard. When you don’t respect someone, you will walk all over them, treat them poorly, make them feel bad, and try to tell them who they should be. That makes a big difference to the happiness in a relationship!
4. They Don’t Air Their Dirty Laundry
They argue. There is no doubt about that. But, they don’t confide to their friends about how horrible their partner is, and they don’t bring their arguments out in public for everyone to see. It’s not that they don’t want others to see that they have problems, it’s just that their arguments are personal and none of anybody else’s business. They respect each other enough to keep it between themselves and work it out without painting a negative light around their partner to others.
5. They Nip Things In The Bud Quickly
When something is wrong, they don’t sit back and hope it will all work out. They are scared to bring up issues that need to be brought up. They communicate issues to their partner so that they know what they feel and what they think needs to be done, and then they work through issues quickly. This helps them avoid arguments about something that happened years ago. And, it helps them avoid holding on to feelings of blame or resentment.
6. They Are Honest
It doesn’t matter whether you have been through a breakup, are facing a major change in your life, have had a moment of clarity about who you are who you want to be, or anything else, because reinventing yourself is doable by anyone at any point in their life. The great thing about life is that you can always choose a different path and choose to be someone different. You are not doomed to be who you are today for the rest of your life! This article will talk about how to reinvent yourself at any point in your life, regardless of what has happened or who you want to become.
The problem with reinventing yourself is that it can be hard to do. I’m sure there are things you declared you were going to do years ago that you still haven’t done. For instance, I know a lady who is 69 years old and has been declaring that she wants to lose 50 pounds since she was about the age of 30. Obviously, she wants to reinvent her body, but reinventing her body has been very hard to do.
If you’ve failed at reinventing yourself in the past, you’re not alone! And if you want to learn how to reinvent yourself right now, you are also not alone. The truth is that the majority of us are always striving to become different, so most of us are at a point where we would like to reinvent ourselves.
Why Reinvent Yourself?
If you don’t like where you are, it’s important to reinvent yourself. If you stay the person you are and keep doing the things you do, and you are not happy, then you are going to stay unhappy until you make some changes. You may convince yourself that life is great once in a while, but more often than not you’ll be disappointed.
The fact that you have the ability to reinvent yourself is enough of a ‘why’ for most people. Why should you stay the same person day in and day out for your entire life when you have the ability to make little and big changes and become someone you want to be?
Because we have the ability to reinvent ourselves, we should be able to do it as often as we want to. Yes, sometimes it will happen after our life changes in a big way, such as when we go through a breakup or divorce, or when the death of someone we love occurs. But, sometimes we want to reinvent ourselves so that we can feel like we’re living our life to its fullest instead of living a life that we are not happy with.
How To Reinvent Yourself In 3 Steps
Step 1: Commit To The New You
Whether you are forced to reinvent yourself or just want to change into someone different, commit to the vision you see of yourself. It may be someone stronger, someone more organized, someone more in line with their purpose – it doesn’t matter, whatever it is you have to commit to it. You can do this in a couple of ways.
First, talk as if you are who you want to be. For example, I had a friend who worked as a housekeeper for years until she decided to start writing e-books and sell them on Amazon. When people asked what she did for a living, she didn’t have a clear answer. She didn’t feel confident enough to say she was a writer, so she would mumble something about being in between jobs. One day when she was in the grocery store, she was approached by one of those people who try to sell you the credit card for the store, and when asked what she did for a living she replied that she was a writer. She felt empowered saying the words, and that was the day she really reinvented herself into a writer. From that moment forward, she felt like a writer and she did things to advance her writing career.
Second, stop making excuses. Stop telling yourself that you will do something when you have enough money or time. Those are excuses NOT to reinvent yourself into someone you want to be. We all have enough time to do what we really want to commit ourselves to doing. We find the time. And when it comes to money, you may not have enough money in the bank to become you want to become, but you can develop the resources to get enough money in the bank to become you want to become.
It’s time that we ditch the mentality that we don’t have enough. Instead of making excuses, you need to start doing what you need to do to reinvent yourself into who you want to be.
Lastly, stop blaming other people, things, and everything else. You should even stop blaming yourself. For instance, if you tell yourself you would like to do something, but then blame how tired you are or how busy you are or how unprepared you are, then you are essentially blaming you for not doing what you want to do. If you think about that it is ridiculous. There’s only one of you, and you are either doing or you are not doing. So do what you need to do and you won’t feel the need to blame.
Step 2: Do More Of What The New You Does
If you are a guy looking for a woman, then I urge you to stay on this article about how to attract women. I have a friend who writes for a dating blog for men, and she tells me that men are not very inclined to listen to a woman’s advice when it comes to attraction in dating and relationships. To me, that’s crazy! Who better to get advice from on how to attract women than women themselves? That’s why I went out and asked 10 women for their number one quality that attracts them to men and then created this article around their answers.
Remember, every single woman has a different preference when it comes to men. Every woman wants a man to treat her in a certain way. But when it comes to attraction, women are pretty much on the same page about what gets their attention and makes them want to learn more about a man. In fact, many of the women who responded had similar answers and I needed them to give me their number two and three reasons why men attract them so that I could include some different ideas.
Curious to learn what attracts women? Let’s talk about the top 10 points.
1. A Guy Who Seems Confident In Himself
“It doesn’t matter what he looks like, what he’s doing, or even how he laughs – if he has confidence, I am attracted to him.” – Tanya
This was the number one answer between many of the woman who answered. A confident attitude is something that women can’t resist.
Tanya made it clear that there is a difference between confidence and cocky. She can easily tell when a guy is very high on himself and looks down on other people, and that’s a turnoff, but when a guy holds his head up high, doesn’t seem to worry about what other people think, and looks like he’s acting in a way that is true to himself, it’s obvious that he’s proud of himself and thinks a lot of himself. And that is attractive! All women want a man who believes in himself and isn’t afraid to be the man he wants to be.
2. A Guy Who Is Emotionally Sound
“If a guy can keep level headed in a crazy situation, I find that seriously attractive.” – Jeannie
Even though this point isn’t talked about a lot, a few of the other women also agreed on this point as very important when it comes to how to attract women. A man who doesn’t go around punching walls when things get stressful, or doesn’t lose it when they don’t get their way, is much more attractive than a man who can’t keep a level head.
It’s funny because I hear a lot of guys talk about how women are not capable of giving advice because they are too emotional. Yet I see a lot of guys who are much more emotional than women are. They throw tantrums, get angry quickly, and are quick to act in an immature and irrational way when they are upset.
In any case, a guy who can stay emotionally cool when the shit hits the fan is definitely an attractive man to most women. It shows a sign of inner strength and an ability to work through things, and it indicates that he will be much more likely to handle stressful situations in a relationship in a healthy manner.
3. A Guy Who Displays A Little Bit Of Dominance
“When a man gives me a sexy, dominant look, I can’t resist!” – Amanda
Do you feel like life is passing you by? I used to feel that way. I felt like I was not making the most of each day and I was going to regret it down the line. I decided I needed to become more present and start living, and as I worked on becoming more present in life, I learned how to live life to the fullest. I learned things through practice and by becoming more aware of how certain behaviors and mindsets influence us in life.
Now, no matter what I’m doing in my day, I feel like I lived a day worth living when I go to bed. That feeling is indescribable. It is a gift that I think we all should give ourselves because if we are not meant to truly live our lives, then what are we here for? Following are 20 things I know for sure about how to live life to the fullest.
1. Don’t Be A Victim In Life
I have many people in my family and know of many others who have a victim mentality. They are not living. They are stuck in the past and worried about the future. They are blaming other people for their unhappiness. And that’s all they do all day – regret, blame, and worry! That regret, blame, and worry are holding them back from living life to the fullest because they waste their days away focused on things that don’t matter.
Don’t develop a victim mentality in life if you want to live it to the fullest. Take ownership over your life and what happens to you, and then take action on creating the life you want.
2. View Life As An Adventure
When you view life as an adventure, it becomes very interesting. You are more willing to do things that you may normally avoid doing. You become excited each day when you wake up, because you never know what is going to happen in your day. You start to enjoy doing new things and learning new things. Life just takes on a whole new shiny look, and it becomes very exciting.
3. Stay Present During Meaningful Experiences
During meaningful experiences, stay grounded. Don’t get lost in thought. Don’t think about your to-do list. Don’t judge what is happening or worry about the outcome. Enjoy it. Focus on it. Live it! For me, rich experiences include when I’m doing something new, spending time with my family or friends, and when I’m out in nature. Even a simple walk is a rich experience that can make me feel alive and teach me something.
4. Have Faith That Great Things Are Possible
If you want to get motivated to live your adventure, then believe that great things are possible. When you believe that you are supposed to live an abundant and happy life, then you are going to look at your present moment as if it is full of opportunities. You are going to enjoy what you are doing and look forward to what is to come, and you will take as much action as needed, which will help you live life to the fullest.
5. Don’t Dwell On The Past
You may not be stuck in a victim mentality, but if you are dwelling on the past and what could have been, then you are not living life to the fullest. The mantra I repeat to myself over and over again is that ‘it couldn’t have happened in any other way’.
What happened came into my life for a reason, and hindsight doesn’t change the fact that the choices I made in life were the only choices I would have made with the knowledge I had. Moreover, everything that was out of my control would have happened the same too. Forgive, let go, laugh at yourself, and learn from your past. That’s a big secret on how to live life to the fullest.
6. Don’t Expect A Second Chance
It’s amazing how little research we have about how animals think and feel, but it is there! Any animal lover could already tell you that animals think and feel and need us to be more compassionate towards their needs. But, still, there are some people – pet owners and people who don’t like animals, that just don’t get why compassion towards animals is an ethical choice that we all should be making.
A few years ago a woman on YouTube, named Trisha Paytas, made a video titled ‘Do Dogs Have Brains?’ In it, she poses this ridiculous statement, “… do dogs have brains, because dogs can’t talk. Yes, they can walk, but that’s because we’re telling them to walk…” I’m not sure if she was just trying to get views on her channel, but I’ve met people who seriously view their dog as property without a brain, so even if she isn’t that clueless, there are people out there who are!
In any case, the point is that many people view animals as objects, not living beings, and that needs to change. We need to develop more compassion towards animals so we can stop the unethical way that animals are treated every single day.
Leonardo da Vinci said, “…and the time will come when men such as I will look upon the murder of animals as they now look upon the murder of men.” I know that today many more people are viewing the murder of animals as something completely unethical. Even in the courts, we are seeing more justice for the dogs that are being abused in dog fighting competitions with one man named Hewitt Grant receiving 20 years of jail time!
Animals Experience Fear And Pain
We can all relate to fear and pain, and letting other people know that animals feel fear is a great way to get them thinking about how they treat animals and what they must feel. Research has shown that mammals and birds are sentient, and research is even showing that fish experience fear. [Source: http://www.uoguelph.ca/csaw/newsletter/doc/csawnewsweb.pdf]
There used to be a slaughterhouse near my school, and the screams of those cows were horrifying. If cows didn’t experience fear or pain, then they wouldn’t make a noise. But, the cows watching the other cows get slaughtered, were screaming their heads off. As Paul McCartney said, “If slaughterhouses had glass walls, we would all be vegetarian.”
Moreover, I know a man who worked at a chicken slaughterhouse. The way the chickens were treated and killed actually sent him into a deep depression. He was unable to sleep without nightmares for a long time. I won’t go into details as you can look up the cruel practices for yourself, but know that if animals didn’t experience fear and feel pain, then what he saw and experienced wouldn’t have affected him.
And, of course, dogs and cats experience fear. You just have to watch them wince at a loud noise or run from something falling. They are not mindless little beings that allow themselves to get hurt at every turn. Fear is a very real emotion that dogs and cats have because they don’t want to experience pain.
Jeremy Bentham said, “The question is not, “Can they reason” nor, “Can they talk” but, “Can they suffer?” If people had vision in his time of the late 1700’s and early 1800’s, then they knew that animals could suffer. They didn’t need the research to prove that to them.
Most humans do not want to make others suffer, so it’s important that everyone knows that suffering in the animal kingdom is a real thing. The lack of research leaves us clueless as to how much and in how many species, but if one animal can feel suffering, then that should be enough to convince people that they need to assume they all can and show compassion towards animals because of this.
Some Animals Don’t Like To Be Lonely
When you want to get to know someone better, you don’t want to ask extremely personal questions, but you do want to get to the heart of who they are, what they value, and whether or not you would get along with them. Extremely personal questions can scare someone away and make them dislike you. Questions that don’t seem that personal, on the other hand, can help you learn something about someone and increase the trust and bond you have with them, which helps you form a closer relationship with them.
Always remember that people like to talk about themselves. Given the opportunity, they would rather talk about themselves and what they like or dislike rather than listen to you talk about yourself and what you like or dislike. Therefore, don’t be afraid to ask someone questions! The chances are very high that they want to share their answers. Following are 15 questions to get to know someone that will help you discover more about them because they will enjoy answering them.
1. Where Did You Go To College?
You can get a ton of information about someone simply by asking them where they went to school. Not everyone went to college, and, usually, people will explain why they didn’t go to college and what they did instead. And, everyone who has gone to college looks back on it with both fond and not so fond memories, and they will have some interesting stories to share.
In both cases, there is a lot to talk about. The one question about where they went to school can lead into a bunch of other questions, such as why they chose the classes they did, how they came to the decision to not go to school, and even the influence of people around them how it affected them.
2. Do You Know Of Any Good Restaurants Around Here?
Everyone will have an answer to this question, and it will give insight into their tastes, likes, and dislikes when it comes to food and service. Usually, people will not just tell you where the restaurant is, but they will tell you about the best dish on the menu, the atmosphere of the place, how the waiters and waitresses act, and much more about the experience they have at the restaurant.
The bottom line is you will learn what their taste in food is and what kind of atmosphere they like to be in. For instance, if their favorite restaurant is a loud bar that serves their favorite drink on a Wednesday night, then you know that they like to socialize and be around others. If their favorite restaurant is an upscale place that is expensive, then you know that they prefer to be in a more elegant atmosphere and don’t mind spending a lot of money on a good meal.
3. What Do You Normally Do On Weekends?
If you go out of the house, there is a good chance that you will run into someone who is mean and looking for someone to hurt. There are a lot of miserable people out there who will do and say things that hurt your feelings. I’m talking about emotional pain that makes you feel bad about yourself, them, and everything around you. This is the kind of emotional pain that can stay with you and have an effect on your life in a very negative way.
It’s easy enough to say that other people shouldn’t be able to influence how we feel and how we behave, but it’s harder to actually follow through with that. The truth is that our feelings can easily get hurt because people are quick to attack things that we value. It’s important to let go of their negativity and feel better so that we can move forward with our day in a productive and happy manner. Following are some tips to help you feel better quickly.
1. Allow Yourself Some Time To Reflect On It
Don’t try to pretend that it didn’t happen or that it went differently than it did. If your feelings are hurt, than pretending that it didn’t happen won’t work. You are still going to be stuck in a negative emotional state as your hurt feelings linger beneath the facade, and that will put a damper on your ability to feel better and move forward with your day.
Do not overthink it either. The goal of thinking about it is to reflect on it and then work through it. It’s not to relive the moment over and over again in your head. That’s not going to help you feel better.
In order to reflect on it, you may want to grab a pen and some paper to write down what happened, why you think it happened, and why it shouldn’t be something that impacts your day in a big way. Going through that process of reflection and making the decision about how important it really is to hang onto, will allow you to work through the emotional pain much quicker.
If you don’t have pen and paper handy, then call a friend. Tell them that something negative happened and you just want to work through it, and you would appreciate if they would take the time to listen. Often talking to someone who is not in the situation can help you step outside your emotional pain and see things from an objective view. Once that happens, you can feel better within moments.
2. See Things From Their Point Of View
Someone who is mean or rude or just plain spiteful, cannot be coming from a good place. No one who feels happy and excited in life is going to be mean and cruel to other people. Not only would they not have time for, that they would not be able to bring themselves to be that kind of person.
In other words, anyone who hurts your feelings in a big way is likely dealing with some negative things in their life. Being mean or cruel to you is more about themselves than it is about you. They feel bad about themselves and their life, so instead of sitting with their emotions and having to face whatever is wrong, they take it out on other people in order to release the tension that is inside of them. You just happened to be in their way!
When you can step into their shoes and see things from their eyes, you will have a much easier time feeling better and moving on. In fact, you may find yourself feeling sorry for them rather than angry at them.
3. Don’t Identify With Your Thoughts And Opinions About Yourself
As soon as you like a girl, the thought of making out pops into your head. Unfortunately, making out with a girl is an awkward thing to do for the first time. You’re not sure if she wants to make out. You’re not sure if she’s going to like making out with you. And all these questions and fears can hold you back from trying to make out with her. But, it is very important to understand how to make out with a girl for the first time because if you miss your chance or blow it, you may not get another one.
The Importance Of Making Out For The First Time
This article is going to assume that you already have the first kiss under your belt. Just a simple little kiss the showed a girl how much you like her without being aggressive. If you haven’t done that, then you definitely need to get on it if there is a girl who you like. Don’t wait too long for the first kiss or you might enter into friend territory and never get your chance to even try.
The same goes for making out. Making out is about kissing passionately. It’s also about touching and being close to each other. If you wait too long to make out, it’s going to become harder and harder to go for it. It’s going to feel extremely awkward to start a make-out session if you wait too long. And, you can easily send the message that you’re not interested in that way if you wait too long, which may cause her to distance herself from you because she’s not sure whether or not you’re really into it. After all, a guy who is really into her would want to make out with her!
The importance of making out is simply that it strengthens your connection, progresses you to the next level of your relationship, and makes you more of a couple then just simply casually dating.
When Should You Make Out With A Girl For The First Time?
This is going to disappoint some guys looking for a specific answer, but there is no specific time when making out is appropriate. Every relationship and every person requires it at a different time, and you need to watch for the signs in both yourself, and in her, in order to time it out just right.
If you haven’t had your first kiss yet, or if it was just a little peck and not much more, then you may end up making out during your first real kiss – the type of kiss where your lips linger for a few seconds and your heart skips a beat. However, for most girls, it will probably be too aggressive to start making out directly after this kiss, and it’s better to get your first romantic kiss in and leave it at that before your first make-out session to create a nice first kiss memory.
4 Rules For Making Out For The First Time
If you want some rules to remember for how to make out with a girl for the first time, these are them. Remember them, use them, and your make-out session will go as well as it can.
1. You Must Have Had Physical Contact Before
You have to feel a physical connection with her. That means that you must have either kissed, hugged, held hands, or touched in some other way. The initial nice and non-aggressive connection is a gateway to a make-out session. It shows that she doesn’t mind being physically close to you and that she may be ready for a make-out session with you. If you just go for it and start making out without any previous physical contact, you have no idea whether or not she really wants a physical connection with you and it could end in major disappointment for you.
2. You Must Have An Intense Desire To Make Out
There has to be a moment. The movies don’t have it wrong on this one. There is a moment where you look into each other’s eyes or end up face to face, and you instinctively know that you’re going to kiss her. You feel something pulling you towards her – a type of energy that you don’t feel when you are just talking to her or standing beside her or looking at her. It’s intense. It’s impossible to ignore. It’s your cue that the moment to make out has arisen.
For the most part, if you are feeling an intense desire to make out, then so is she. That type of energy is a shared energy. Essentially it’s the chemistry between you being felt. Unless you are totally misreading the feeling, and she is actually focused on something else, this is going to be the moment that she will reciprocate making out.
3. It Should Be Sensual, Not Weird
The first make-out session should be pleasing. It shouldn’t be about trying to go all the way or trying the new move that you read or heard about. Basically, you want to make it as sensual as possible.
Think of it like this: you want to gratify the senses, especially the feeling of your bodies, lips, and hands touching. You want to feel each other and experience a type of oneness that you haven’t felt before. Kissing and touching are really all you need to make the first make-out session stand out in her mind. Touching each other’s hands, face, and bodies is the goal.
You can talk a little, but don’t get too deep with the conversation. Talking to a woman while you make out helps break up the kissing. It gives her a chance to hear your sensual voice, and if you say the right things, it could intensify the pleasure she is feeling. The bottom line is that it’s sexy for her to hear a low, deep voice in the middle of making out. Stop, look into her eyes, smile, ask her if she likes it, and then continue making out.
Also, don’t get too weird with the kissing. Close-mouthed and passionate kissing is fine for the first time. If you open your mouth and use your tongue, don’t get too crazy with it. If you do, then you might freak her out and ruin your chances of another make-out session. In addition, kissing her face and neck is fine if you are feeling it. It is a nice break from kissing on the lips and, when you get back to her lips, it will feel great.
Lastly, keep your hands busy, but don’t go under the clothes unless she initiates it. She may not want you to touch her directly yet, and if you do, then you might ruin the make-out session. It’s better to avoid touching her most intimate areas and stick with her hair, face, neck, back, arms, hands, and legs. And, if you feel her hand going under your shirt, don’t waste any time going under hers! It a sign that she wants you to do more than what you are doing!
4. End It Nicely
A lot of people don’t want to ask too many questions when they are just getting to know someone. But, if you don’t ask the right questions, then you could find yourself months or even years from now regretting getting into a relationship that makes you completely unhappy. It’s better to get some important answers upfront so that you can move forward with confidence that things may just work out really well if you decide to get into a relationship.
There are some simple questions that will help you get the answers that you want to know. And, if you don’t get the exact answers that you want to know, you will get a good or bad feeling around the answers. If you get a good feeling, then things will likely be good. But if you get a bad feeling, this will be something that you need to delve into further before you make any kind of commitment to the relationship. Following are some of the questions and why they’re so important to ask.
1. Do You Have A Big Family?
Asking this question should get them talking a little bit about their family. Getting insight into their family can give you a lot of insight into how they are going to be in the relationship. If they like their family, then they probably have strong bonds and know how to maintain a healthy relationship. If they don’t get along with anyone in their family, then the issue may be on their end or on their family’s end, but you need to find out before you get into a relationship. If they have a big family and are an instigator in their family and cause all kinds of problems, then the chances are high that they will do the same in your relationship.
2. Are Most Of Your Friends Close By?
The reason for this question is to get insight into how many friends they have. If they don’t have a lot of friends, there may be a big reason that you will want to dig further into. It may just be because they prefer being alone and don’t have a lot of time for friends, or it may be because they are displaying some pretty unattractive traits that push people away from them. Either way, it’s important to understand how they interact with people who they are not obligated to interact with, so you can get an idea of their social skills and how they will interact with you and your friends and family.
3. What Are You Looking For In A Relationship?
You may think this is a bit too forward, but the truth is you need to know if they are looking for the same thing you are. I have many friends who thought they were in a relationship that could progress towards marriage, but it turned out the other person was as serious as they were.
In this day and age, we have lots of options open to us, and not everyone wants to get married anymore. If you do, this will be a big problem if you meet someone doesn’t. That’s why it’s important to get a feel for the general direction your relationship could go if you are compatible.
4. What Are Your Pet Peeves?
You don’t want to move forward in a relationship with someone who finds your whistling or carefree attitude annoying. Before someone gets to know too much about you, you should find out what their pet peeves are. They will be more than willing to tell you the truth, whereas waiting too long could cause them to clam up because they know that some of their pet peeves can be found in you.
The biggest problem is that people are willing to look past their pet peeves in the beginning of a relationship, but later on – when all the excitement is gone, a lot of hurt feelings and arguments will be had over the things they find especially annoying about you (or that you find annoying about them).
5. What Do You Normally Do On The Weekend?
You do not want to get matched with someone who enjoys spending their days off in a completely different way. Why? If you do, you’ll find yourself alone a lot.
For example, if you enjoy staying in the house and they enjoy being outdoors, then one of you is going to be very unhappy if you spend time together. Maybe not the beginning of the relationship when you are more willing to compromise, but when you start wanting to focus on your natural habits and needs again, it’s going to become a problem. Find out if you are a match when it comes to leisure time before you make any kind of commitment.
6. Why Did You End Your Last Relationship?
Have you ever heard the saying, ‘We fall in love by chance, we stay in love by choice’? Always remember that saying in your relationship with your girlfriend because it will make a huge difference to your relationship’s happiness. The truth is that you always have a choice to become closer or grow apart.
One of the best ways to become closer is to find some intimate things to talk about with your girlfriend that have some meaning to her and you and your relationship. Not sure where to start? That’s okay because this article will give you 15 topics to choose from that will help you find many more topics on your own.
1. Talk About Something That You Have In Common
If you were drawn together, then you have some things in common. They are likely what made you feel connected in the beginning, and they will keep making you feel connected no matter how long you’ve been together.
What’s interesting is that researchers found that if you have something in common with someone else, you tend to think of them as being like you in a bunch of other ways, not just in the way you know you are similar. That means that when you talk about how you are similar, your differences will be put aside and you will feel like you are on the same page.
Moreover, the part of the brain (lower medial prefrontal cortex) that becomes active when we connect with someone who we share similarities with, causes to us view those people like ourselves and avoid building up a judgment around them.
In other words, that one similarity can make you feel connected on many different levels. Therefore, talking about what you have in common during a conversation is something that will help you feel closer instantly.
You can talk about common beliefs, habits, likes, or dislikes. Anything that brings you two on the same page will help you feel more connected and unified.
2. Tell Her What You Like About Her
Everyone likes hearing positive things about themselves. If you want to engage in a conversation where she feels good, then talk about what you like about her.
Talk about what you liked when you first met her and talk about what you like about her now. You will make her feel good about herself, and those feelings will transfer to how she feels about you. In short, she will feel as if you are on her side and a supporter of her, and that will help her feel closer to you.
3. Talk About Whether Or Not You Believe In God
If you haven’t talked about this yet, it’s a great topic of conversation to connect on a deeper level. This is not something you talk about with a stranger on the street or someone you barely know because it is an intimate topic.
In some cases, you may already know the basics. For instance, if you met in church then you are going know the basics of what she believes. But for most people this will be a topic that hasn’t been touched yet and will give you insight into what she believes in and how she governs herself according to what she believes.
You may not be on the same page as her during the conversation, but it will definitely bring you closer as you will get an up close view into her intimate thoughts, and she will get an up close view into yours. Yes, you have to share your thoughts too!
Pay attention to her during the conversation for things that you can talk about later. For instance, you can talk about how she grew up or what her parents believed or how her friends influenced her or how her religion influenced her. There are so many different intimate conversations you can have after you determine where you both stand on the idea of God or religion in general.
4. Ask Her What She Feels Grateful For
When you focus on gratitude, you feel better. You feel happier and more alive and ready to take on the world. If you talk to her about what she feels grateful for, then you are helping her feel better, happier, alive, and ready to take on the world! It’s just a simple way to help her feel better about herself, you, and everything that’s going on around her.
Ask a specific question, such as what she feels most grateful for in her life or what she feels most grateful for about her family. Or, if it is just a random conversation, then pick any topic around gratitude. And if she is feeling down about something, then asking her to focus on what she is grateful for in that area will help her to start feeling better, and when she feels better, she will associate you with that increased mood.
5. Talk About An Embarrassing Moment
Again, this is not something that you would talk about with a stranger or somebody you don’t feel comfortable with. It’s reserved for people that you have an intimate connection with who won’t judge you.
It may feel awkward to do it first, but it is a way to show vulnerability, which is huge for building a closer connection, and it will give her more insight into you. Let’s face it, we all have embarrassing moments. And by talking about it with each other, you will have a little secret that other people will never have with you or your girlfriend.
6. Talk About Her Favorite Vacation Destination