Monthly Archives: March 2016
Monthly Archives: March 2016
If you are in a marriage where the sex has disappeared, you may feel like you are facing a marital problem that other people don’t seem to have. But, the fact is that people don’t openly talk about the lack of sex in their marriage, so it’s really hard to tell how happy other people are with their sex life. Psychologists estimate that millions of couples are currently in a marriage where sex is no longer a big part. In fact, they think that up to 20 percent of married couples are in one. A sexless marriage can be a marriage with no sex at all, but, in definition, it means that sex is occurring less than 10 times a year. So, if you are averaging once every month and a half or so, then you are in a sexless marriage.
A sexless marriage does not necessarily mean a bad marriage. As long as both people in the marriage agree that they don’t want or need sex, for whatever reason, the marriage can be happy. But, when the lack of sex is an issue for at least one person in the marriage, it can be devastating to its health and happiness. Anger, jealousy, frustration, depression and other negative emotions about the lack of sex can leak into other aspects of the marriage and demolish trust, communication, and overall satisfaction. And, if someone feels they need sex, but can’t get it from their spouse, they may look elsewhere.
How A Sexless Marriage Develops
Chances are when you got married, you had sex a lot. If you didn’t, then it is important to talk to a professional to find out what is holding you back from engaging in the intimate relationship that you deserve. Maybe it’s fear or lack of confidence, but that needs to be worked through to give your marriage a chance at building a healthy sex life.
For most people, though, a sexless marriage developed over time. The marriage started out hot and heavy and then sex became less of a priority and other things, like sleep, kids, or work, became more of a priority. There are some stages that every sexless marriage goes through.
The first stage is realizing that your sex life has started to dwindle. You can clearly see that you are not having sex very often, you want to have sex, and you express your concern to your spouse – possibly withholding all the details. You try to discuss the issue, look for a solution, and agree upon some plan of action that will help you get sex back into your marriage. Then, you try to take action on that plan for a few days, or maybe even a few weeks, but, eventually, you fall back into a relationship where sex is limited.
The second stage is realizing that despite your desire to get more sex in your marriage, you are not succeeding. All your plans to create a more intimate marriage have crashed and burned, even though you would still like to fix the issue on some level. You may have even become too comfortable with the lack of sex, and you may feel like you can fix it ‘tomorrow’ instead of today, but ‘tomorrow’ never comes. This is a long phase that can last years and years. You have the ability to fix the intimate part of your marriage, but for whatever reason you and your spouse keep putting it off and off and off, and you are essentially leaving it as a low priority task on your to-do list. But, if you don’t fix the problem in this phase, then you will move into the next phase.
The last stage is where major problems are happening in the marriage because of the lack of sex. You may experience an affair in the marriage. You may start to argue more. You may start to view your spouse as a roommate more than you do a lover. You may not even be willing to work on fixing the marriage at this point because you have just given up. This isn’t necessarily the end of your relationship, but if you don’t take the time to really address the issues in your marriage and make fixing them your priority, then your marriage will end up broken.
Why Are You Really In A Sexless Marriage?
It’s important to look past the sex and figure out what is the root cause of your sexless marriage. It’s not just about sex. It’s about something else that is holding you or your spouse back from having the intimacy that you want, and once you figure out what it is and find a solution for it, you will have a much easier time fixing the problem.
Women and men often have very different reasons for not wanting sex in the marriage. This is not a hard and fast rule, but knowing the general reasons may give you some indication as to why you are in a sexless marriage if you can’t see why right now. This is especially true if your spouse is the one who is limiting sex in the marriage.
For a man, the reasons generally look like this:
– Spouse does not have the type of sex that he wants to have
– Spouse doesn’t enjoy sex with him or puts him down during sex
– He doesn’t have any attraction towards spouse anymore because of change in appearance or attitude or something else
– He is experiencing erectile dysfunction and doesn’t want to admit it to his spouse
– He no longer wants to be in the marriage
– He is dealing with depression or some other mental issue that is sucking out the desire for intimacy
– He is dealing with a physical issue that is affecting his desire for sex
– He is getting his physical needs met elsewhere
For a woman, the reasons may not be that different than above for the man, with the exception of the erectile dysfunction. However, there are other reasons that a woman may be avoiding sex in the marriage, including:
No marriage is perfect, and all have ups and downs. But, sometimes those downs can be really down, and if you don’t do something to fix your marriage, then you are going to end up in divorce. If you don’t want to end up there, even a little, then you need to do something to save your marriage.
Following are some facts on how to save a marriage that may be just what you need to hear right now. These are truths that everyone needs to remember as they work towards saving their marriage. Think about this: one insight may be all you need to work things out and get back on track in your marriage, so if you are having marital problems of any kind, read all of the following facts.
1. The Littlest Change Can Make The Biggest Difference
Nobody likes change. It’s hard to do. It’s uncomfortable. It requires that you do things you don’t want to do. But, when it comes to how to save a marriage, change is necessary. If you don’t take some sort of action towards changing the dynamics in your marriage, then things are going to stay exactly how they are now and, even, get worse.
This doesn’t mean you need to change everything about yourself and your marriage in order to get a positive result. Sometimes it is something that seems so tiny that it wouldn’t make a difference, but it does, such as being kinder or changing one small habit. Sometimes the littlest changes can have the biggest impact, so don’t knock out any idea that comes across the table for fixing the marriage.
2. Your Routine Matters
In a marriage, you fall into a routine. That routine can become so comfortable, and so deadly. Your routines in life dictate how happy and healthy you are. For instance, your morning routine can set you up for a positive day if you do positive things. If you spend some quiet time organizing your day, you can be more productive. If you spend some time exercising, you can have more energy. And, if you spend some time talking to your spouse, you can feel more connected to them.
How is your routine with your spouse? Are you taking some time to focus on your marriage morning, noon, or night? Are you even taking some time to focus on your marriage at all in your daily routine? If not, you need to shift your routine to add things that make a difference to your marriage, such as spending quality time together, being intimate, or taking on projects together.
Of course, because you both probably have slightly different routines in your day, you are going to have to compromise and find things that you can add to both of your routines, but the payoff is worth it! It just may be the things that saves your marriage!
3. Your Perspective Matters
Your attitude towards yourself, your partner, and even marriage makes a big difference in how you act in your marriage and how happy it is. If your perspective is even slightly negative, then you can have an extremely negative impact on your marriage.
For instance, if you believe your partner is not as smart as you, then you will not act on his or her suggestions, requests, or needs. You know better than them, because you are smarter, so in the end, your ideas are what matter most to you. If that’s the case, your marriage is going to go downhill fast!
The bottom line is that you need to have a positive attitude about yourself in the relationship, your partner, and marriage. If you are being negative about any one of those things, then there will be problems in the marriage, so tweaking those perspectives can make a huge difference.
4. You Can’t Be Boring!
Do you go to the same places each weekend? Do you do the same thing for date night? Do you do the same thing every night? If you are boring together, then you can’t be anything but bored! And, being bored is not going to give you a new perspective on each other that will help you get things back on track.
Marriage problems are common, and they take down many couples who would have otherwise had a long and happy life together. If you are having problems in your marriage right now, you need to know that most of the causes are solvable. They require effort, but happily married people are healthier, happier, and live longer, which is a huge reason that you should strive to fix the issues behind the problems when they arise. Following are 9 common causes of marriage problems, and some suggestions on how to fix them.
1. Lack Of Sex
A sexless marriage is defined as having sex less than 10 times per year. If you are in that boat, then you are not alone. Millions of people are living in a sexless marriage, and it is causing all kinds of problems in their marriage. It reduces connection, trust, and attraction, and it can be the death of a marriage if it is left untreated. Thankfully, there are a lot of things you can do to get back on track. And, often it just takes a shift in perspective or routine to get things back on track.
– Seek out a sex therapist to figure out what is going wrong and how you can fix it.
– Communicate with your partner about sex and how to create a more intimate relationship.
– Become more willing to experiment in the bedroom and fulfill your partner’s fantasies.
– Seek help from a doctor to discuss a lack of sex drive to rule out a medical condition.
– Commit to having sex more. Sometimes other things become more important, and sex can be put on the back burner without a commitment to do it.
Whatever it takes, do what you need to do. Fixing your intimacy problems can help keep you connected in your marriage and make working through all other marriage problems easier.
2. Disliking Change In Appearance
Who we marry doesn’t always look the same a few years after the wedding. Weight gain, age, and illness can all cause someone to look differently than they did, and for some people that is a problem. Some people want their spouse to stay the same forever and don’t understand that people change on the outside, no matter how much they work at looking youthful or healthy. This is definitely solvable, but it requires true love.
When you really love someone, it doesn’t matter how they change, you still love them. You are still attracted to their personality, committed to them, and love those qualities that drew you to them in the first place. It’s important to remind yourself of who they are, not what they looked like.
If you can’t accept the change, this will be a marriage problem that you will not be able to overcome because they are never going to stop changing or live up to who they were physically when you first got married. Change will always happen in the body. Accepting that is key.
3. Having Some Different Interests
You may have started out with the same interests, but as time passes on, you have gone down different paths. This can create tension when it comes to doing things with your spare time or money. It can cause conflict when beliefs start to collide about things such as happiness, health, or spirituality.
The truth is that we don’t like it when people are different than us, and when our spouse starts to become different than us, we really want them to see the error of their ways. But, that’s the thing, it is not an error!
Just as appearance will never stay the same, interests won’t either. As we grow, we learn new things about ourselves and the world around us, and we apply what we learn in our lives, which changes our outlook on life as we go. Accepting that your spouse is changing, and having them accept you for your changes, is important.
One way to do this is to get interested in your spouse. Get interested in their point of view and get excited about learning how they see things. Get excited about what they are doing. Allow them to pursue their own interests, while you pursue yours, and then come back together at the end of the day to share, learn, and grow. When you have that kind of attitude towards them and their uniqueness, you will never resent who they are becoming because they will be the neatest person in the world to you.
4. Different Money Habits
It doesn’t matter if you are a writer or just want to make yourself sound knowledgeable on Facebook, your ability to write well is important. People view poor writing as a lack of intelligence or education, and they won’t take you as seriously when your words are misspelled, or it’s hard to read your writing. Therefore, if you are trying to impress people, you need to be on top of your game.
You have two choices if you want to write better, you either study grammar, spelling, and everything else about writing, or you use a tool like Grammarly to help you easily find mistakes and write better. There are a few tools out there, but I wanted to do a Grammarly review because it is one of the most used writing tools on the market.
What Is Grammarly?
Grammarly is an editor tool to help you with your writing. According to Grammarly, millions of people are using their tools to write perfect English, including writers, students, teachers, and journalists.
The free version of Grammarly checks for the following:
– Sentence structure
If you upgrade to a premium account, much more will covered in the check, including:
– Word choice
– Clarity (very important in all writing!)
– Passive voice use
One of the features I really like in the premium version is the vocabulary enhancement. This feature gives you insight into overused words and what words would be better suited.
For instance, instead of the word ‘important’, using the word ‘necessary’ will improve the sharpness of the writing. You will also get insight into weak adjectives and repetitive words in your copy.
All of that is important stuff to understand to give your readers a better experience. It doesn’t seem important, but some people can get turned off by hearing the same words used repeatedly. And if they have a hard time understanding your writing and need to pause and reflect to grasp what your writing is trying to say, then they will leave and move on to something that doesn’t consume a lot of their time. Therefore, if you are a blogger, or write for a blogger, you will appreciate this feature!
Two Things That Grammarly Does Really Well
It does what any good editor should do, and it does it quickly. Let’s talk about the most important things in this Grammarly review.
1. Gives You A Platform To Quickly Check A Document
This is what Grammarly was meant for! We are glad that it works well.
Essentially, if you have a document written somewhere else, such as on your blog or in a social media post, you can copy it into the Grammarly app, at https://app.grammarly.com, to check for mistakes. All you have to do is click on ‘new’ and copy your document into the editor, or click on upload and upload a document from your computer.
On the left side, click on the writing tool icon, and make sure spelling, style, grammar, punctuation, and structure are clicked to ‘on’. You can also choose what type of document you are writing by hovering over the ‘document type.’ Options include a general piece, a casual piece, an academic piece, a business piece, a creative piece, a medical piece, or a technical piece. There are also different options in each category to give you the perfect document type editor for you. For instance, under ‘casual’, you can select ‘personal blog post’ if you are a blogger.
You can also turn the plagiarism option off or on by clicking on the magnifying glass icon on the right side. This feature will tell you how original your document is, and the unoriginal text will be included in the suggested corrections.
All the suggested revisions will be on the right side of the page, beside the text. This is very user-friendly. You simply hover over each suggestion listed to see where in the text the suggestion is being made for, and then you can click on the suggestion to expand it and get a more detailed explanation.
If a word, such as a name, is being prompted for a correction, you can add it to the dictionary so that Grammarly views it as a correctly spelled word in the future. And, if you just want to ignore the suggestion Grammarly gives altogether, then you can just click on ignore.
You can also undo a correction you just made if you realize afterward that what you had was correct. Just click on ‘Undo’ that pops up after you make a correction, and your correction is undone.
When you are done correcting your document, you can copy and paste it back into the program you were originally using.
2. Grammarly Helps You Improve Your Writing
You will be surprised at how you make the same mistakes over and over again. I know that I tend to overuse some words and consistently do the same grammar mistakes. It takes a while to change your automatic way of writing, and that’s why you should check every document in Grammarly. It helps you clearly see those poor writing habits and fix them.
You can download a report of any document that you put into the Grammarly app, and it will include the text and the mistakes that are made so that you can reference it, later on, to see how far you’ve come in your writing.
To download your report, click on your score in the bottom right of Grammarly. You can click on ‘Download detailed report’ to get a full report saved on your computer in a PDF.
Things That Grammarly App Can’t Do
As of this Grammarly review, there are a few things that it can’t do.
1. The App Doesn’t Take Large Documents
When you upload a document, you can’t upload past 20 pages or 36,000 symbols. They say that they are working on increasing the amount you can upload, but, for now, if you have a story you are working on or an eBook, then you will need to upload it piece by piece to check it out.
2. Catch All Your Mistakes
As someone who writes every single day, I’ve noticed that proofreading is still required with an editor, even Grammarly. Particularly in the first run through of editing.
I never put my articles to be checked in Grammarly until I’ve read it through myself and make sure that it makes perfect sense in my head. That helps me catch all the little mistakes that Grammarly sometimes doesn’t find, such as ‘or’ instead of ‘our’ or other silly mistakes that are easy to make but hard for a grammar checker to see.
The good thing is that the stuff it doesn’t catch won’t be caught by too many people reading your writing either. Grammarly covers so much in your writing that it’s hard to miss any mistakes you have.
3. Talk Like Your Friend
Grammarly is there to help you write English professionally. So, internet slang and common words you use in your everyday speech will be questioned by Grammarly.
It’s up to you to decide what kind of audience you are talking to and how much slang you want to use in your document. If you are a niche blogger or on social media a lot, then you may want to ignore some of Grammarly’s suggestions. However, if you want to relate to all age groups and types of people, then you will want to listen to Grammarly’s professional suggestions to help the largest amount of people understand and relate to you.
The Grammarly Browser Extension
Grammarly has a browser extension for Chrome, Firefox, and Safari that makes writing on your favorite writing platform easier. It doesn’t matter if you are in email, WordPress, Facebook, or anywhere else, the browser extension will be there to help you see your mistakes and correct them quickly.
Men who are single and looking have a lot of things that they wish women knew. A friend of mine hears about it all the time on his relationship blog, and he wants to share with you the top things that get talked about over and over again by really good men who are single and looking. If you want a good man in your life, these are things you need to know! They will help you understand where good men are coming from and how you can win them over. Following are 11 things that good men wish women knew.
1. We Don’t Know What The Hell We Are Doing Wrong When Flirting
When good men flirt with you, our intention is to win you over. We are not trying to annoy you, frustrate you, or tick you off. We are simply trying to make it clear that we think you are interesting and would like to get to know you better. So, please don’t treat us like we are idiotic because we can’t read your mind and figure out exactly how you prefer to be flirted with. We are trying our best and you don’t need to be a complete jerk to us.
If you want to help, let good men know why their flirting isn’t working for you or how they can really get your attention. At the very least, they can move forward with that knowledge and flirt better with other women. And, at the most, you may find that they are pretty decent guys who you actually would want to get to know better – despite their inability to seduce you instantly.
2. We Are Not Sure If We Should Be Good Or Bad
Men wish women knew that good guys want to be good. We respect women and want to treat them with the respect that they deserve. But, in our eyes, all women are attracted to the bad guys, so it becomes confusing on how we are supposed to act if we actually want to pick up a woman!
This is why so many good guys come across as untrustworthy. They are pretending to be someone they are not in hopes that it will attract women. Unfortunately, it just repels women because something seems off with them, and often times their behavior is way too awkward.
How can you spot us good guys struggling with how they should act? The jerks out there won’t be awkward. They are naturally bad to the bone and have no problems being jerks. But, the good guys will have a weird aura about them, and they will feel less natural in their approach, body language, and conversation.
If you really want a good guy in your life who treats you with respect, give those awkward guys a chance. Recognize when they are trying to pretend to be someone they think you want to see, and then let them know that it is alright to be themselves – whoever they are, because you are looking for someone who is good, honest, and doesn’t hurt you.
3. We Are Told To Be Assertive
This is another one of those pieces of advice that land a lot of guys in trouble. We are told to be assertive because that is a manly thing to do and women are attracted to it, but if we do not know how to be assertive without crossing a line, then we come across and rude or arrogant, which scares women away. But, we watch other guys who are naturally assertive win over woman after woman after woman as we scare all of those same women away. It’s extremely frustrating for us good men, but we don’t know what else to do.
How can you tell when a good guy is trying to be assertive and failing? Instead of shunning a guy because he is too aggressive, let him know that the aggression is not winning you over. A really good guy will apologize for being like that and show you who he really is while a really bad guy will give you the finger and walk away.
4. The Rejection Is Making Us Bitter
Many women think that a lot of good guys are jerks and angry towards women, but what good men wish women knew is that many men are just reaching the point of being insanely upset that they can’t find someone to enjoy their life with. We have had the best intentions, but after so many rejections, bitterness can start to set in. That can make us start to talk bad about women, avoid women, take things really personally, and be much more negative than positive. Yet, we still want a woman, so we still try to pick you up, and all this bitterness can come spilling out.
A can do attitude is obviously beneficial for success in life. The famous quote by Henry Ford that says, “Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right,” applies here. If you have a can do attitude, then you are going to do things that increase your success rate, such as take massive action and keep going despite setbacks. If you have a cannot do attitude, then you are going to do things that sabotage your success rate, such as give up or procrastinate.
Having a can do attitude can help you have success in every area of life, including mending a broken heart. Some people believe that they will never get over the hurt and hold on to that hurt for months, years, or even their entire life! They let it affect their quality of life as well as their future relationships in a big way. They cannot go on the way they were before, and so their life takes a turn for the worse. If you want to avoid that, then a can do attitude is your answer. It will help you mend a broken heart quicker and more thoroughly. Following are 10 ways that it will help do that.
1. Doing Is Important After Your Heart Is Broken
What separates the dreamers from the doers? A can do attitude! The dreamers get started on their path to recovery, but they question themselves so much that they eventually revert back to their old feelings. The doers get started on their recovery and keep going despite the discomfort that comes their way, such as running into the person who broke their heart or finding out that person has gotten into another relationship.
You have to get busy after a breakup, so you don’t get stuck dreaming about the past, the loss, and what could have been. If you get stuck in that realm, you will beat yourself up and relive the broken heart over and over again. Getting busy will help you carve out a new path and focus on that path in life. It will help you let go of the feeling or belief that you were meant to be together and show you that life is just fine without that person in it anymore.
Can do people are willing to do things that matter. They adjust to change better, and they are willing to make the effort to move forward. They don’t wait around for someone to help them get started on recovery, they take action to move forward and create a life that they want.
2. It Will Help You Avoid Bitterness
After you have your heart broken, there is a stage where bitterness can set in if you are harboring negative emotions. This stage can cause you to do crazy things. I once had an ex steal my car and rip apart a diary that I had kept since a kid. I’ve seen people smash furniture, harass their ex, sabotage their relationships, and do all kinds of horrible things expecting that it was going to help them feel better… but it didn’t. That bitterness doesn’t go away until you develop a more positive and optimistic view on your life.
A can do attitude is necessary to let go of the bitterness and move on to bigger and better things. When you are stuck in an attitude where you can’t move forward, your energy, both mental and physical energy, will go towards your ex and how you can make them pay or hurt just like you are. Having an attitude that you can move forward will help you avoid holding on to those negative feelings.
Also, can do people tend to see other people’s points of view more realistically. Instead of not knowing why they had their heart broken, they tend to see it all very clearly from their point of view and their ex’s point of view, which helps them get out of a state of ‘why’ and ‘what should I do’ to a state where they just move on and do better from their lessons learned.
3. People Want To Be Around People With A Can Do Attitude
Other people are going to help you get out of your head and maintain a positive attitude. They are essential for mending a broken heart because they offer different perceptions that allow you to see things differently and feel different.
If you want to meet new people and maintain some healthy relationships after a broken heart, then you need to maintain a can do attitude. If you are stuck in a place where you cannot show love, accept love, or be happy, then you are going to affect your relationships negatively. You are going to want to isolate yourself, which will put a big wedge in your relationships. And if you do get up and go out, the people who are trying to help you recover will be treated poorly. And, the people who come into your life and offer you new relationships and opportunities will be pushed away.
But, if you can maintain a can do attitude, the opposite will happen. People will respect you for being so strong during a time that many people fall apart and complain and whine and mope around. They will enjoy being around because positive people are just more fun to be around. New people who come into your life will appreciate your willingness to tackle new situations and try new things. You will be forming and maintaining your relationships with ease when you are a can do person
4. It Will Help You Avoid Cutting Out Opportunities For Love
I was listening to a guy talk about his breakup today, and he said that he was never going to allow himself to get that close to someone again. Now, I could understand if this was a few days after his breakup and he was processing his feelings, but this breakup happened a year ago. He had been holding on to that hurt for so long and developed an attitude where he fully believed that was not going to be able to get close to someone again because he didn’t want to get hurt again.
A boring relationship that goes unfixed can result in a breakup. We don’t tend to stay in situations that bore us for too long, because life is much more fun and rewarding when we feel excited and stimulated. A relationship, where we spend a lot of time with someone in everyday situations, needs to be fun and rewarding in order to make us happy and fulfilled. Following are some crucial tips on how to fix a boring relationship that you can use in your relationship starting today.
1. A Unique Date Night Is A Must
This is one of the tips that you will find in almost any article on how to fix a boring relationship. It is that important.
You have to start going on dates again. But, not just any dates. Remember when you first got together and all dates felt new and exciting? After a while, though, going to the same restaurant felt more like a comfort thing than it did an exciting thing. That’s when things can get boring. Therefore, you need to make date night something unique and exciting as often as possible to keep the thrill up.
If you haven’t gone on a date in a while, then start off by going someone comfortable and memorable to the two of you. This will give you a reconnect that you probably really need. But, after that, schedule in dates that excite you.
To make it fair, make sure that you each write down potential date ideas on a little piece of paper. Then, put those ideas in a jar and pull one idea every time it is date night. That will maintain a level of excitement and surprise, and ensure that you are doing things that at least one of you really wants to try out.
Just don’t put down any of your partner’s ideas that don’t thrill you, or your unique date night venture will come to a halt because of hurt feelings and anger. When that happens, you won’t be able to start it back up again without a lot of convincing and effort. View each date night as having potential, and then go from there.
2. Fix Your Perception Of Your Partner And Your Relationship
Often the way we look at things causes us to feel one way or the other, and a simple change in mindset can help us feel completely different. In your relationship, you may view your partner in a way that makes him or her look completely boring to you. Or, you may look at your relationship as boring compared to other people’s relationships that you see around you. Of course your relationship is going to be boring when you view it as such.
Following is a trick that may help you change your perception. This is a very real situation that many people I know have had to face without using their imagination.
Imagine that your partner has been diagnosed with a chronic illness. All those little annoyances that you had before will melt away as you realize just how important your partner is in your life and how unhappy you would be if you lost them.
Now, list off the reasons you would be unhappy without your partner if that illness got the better of them. What would you miss about them? What would you miss about your relationship? These are the things that make your relationship unique and interesting.
You will find that there are many things that you cherish about your partner, but you will also discover that your partner makes your life more fun and exciting in many different ways. Those are the things you want to focus on when you think about your partner. Those things will help you feel like your partner and your relationship is much less boring that you thought.
3. Celebrate Each Other’s Uniqueness
How can you get bored when you are around someone who sees the world differently than you and goes after different things in their life? Their unique outlook and approach to life should be exciting to you and help you grow as an individual and as a couple.
There are times that you shouldn’t be persistent. For instance, when that guy or girl clearly doesn’t like you and has told you no two or three times when you ask them out, then it’s time to give up and move on. If you are too persistent in that case, you could get slapped with a restraining order! But, in most cases, persistence is something that can pay off for you in your career, health, relationships, and happiness. Before you go off committing to everything in your life, you need to know a few things about being persistent that will help you make the most out of your determination.
1. Negative Emotions Can Arise Unless You Are Laid Back
Highly persistent people tend to have better health and happiness overall, but research published in the Journal of Affective Disorders shows that they can also have more negative emotions and anxiety than people who are not highly persistent, especially if they are not laid back and tolerant of failure, difficulty, or setbacks.
Highly persistent and laid back don’t seem like they should go together, but if you want to avoid the negative emotions from arising, you may want to work on being more laid back in life. Negative emotions and anxiety can take their toll on your heart, digestion, sexual organs, and brain, so it is important to find a way to chill out and become more laid back if you want to be persistent in your life.
How can you be a more laid back person?
– Find the humor in everything. When you can see the humor, you are more likely to laugh things off instead of feeling angry or hurt.
– Become more playful. When you are playful, you approach everything in life with a playful attitude rather than a serious and ‘adult’ attitude. This can help you be more at ease when things go wrong.
– Be joyful in everything you do. Find delight in every activity and the very fact that you are experiencing things in life, both good and bad. If you can find joy in the simple fact that you are alive, then your tension will melt away and life will become much more fun.
– Remember that bad things happen. When you are honest with yourself that bad things are going to happen, you won’t get so upset when they do. You will ride the ups and downs as if they are natural parts of your life that you have to deal with.
– Use the mantra, ‘The sun will come out tomorrow.’ When you have the outlook that tomorrow is another day to get things right, have fun, and succeed, then you will stop being so upset with today and worried about how it will affect your tomorrow.
-Develop a positive mindset. When you become optimistic about life, you reduce tension and become much more laid back. Being hopeful and confident in what is to come will help you make the most of today.
– Believe in yourself. Negative emotions such as being ashamed, nervous, and upset can arise from not having faith in yourself or beating yourself up. Start believing in yourself and your ability to succeed, and you will help alleviate those emotions and be much more laid back.
2. You’ve Got To Have Energy To Be Persistent
A lot of people think that being persistent means you have to work 7 days a week from morning to night on what you want to achieve. But, that is the worst way to maintain your persistence in life. It is, however, the quickest way to experience burnout! While it would be nice to have the energy of a battery operated bunny, we are human, and we need some downtime to reenergize and get back on track.
If you don’t take the time to reenergize, then you will start to produce less than desirable results. You won’t be on your game. You won’t be able to concentrate, find solutions, and be creative as well as you could when you are fully charged and ready to go.
You use up a lot of energy when you are being persistent. You need to use physical energy to get you where you want to go and keep you awake. You also need to use it if you are working on health goals or are in a physically demanding job. You need to use mental energy to make decisions, focus, be creative, listen, talk, learn, teach, use willpower, deal with hard things, and stay committed. You use mental energy in almost everything you do!
So, how can you keep your energy high?
– Take care of your body. Exercise and nutrition have a big impact on your body’s health and its energy. If you are not taking care of yourself and feeding it what it needs or giving it the exercise that it needs, you will feel less energetic, more often.
– Keep your blood sugar steady for mental health. Your brain uses glucose to do its job, so when your blood sugar is low, your brain doesn’t have the energy it needs to perform properly. That’s not a good thing when you are focused on being persistent.
– Don’t dwell on things. It uses up a lot of mental energy that could be spent on being persistent. This includes things about past things that have gone wrong, not forgiving people and situations, and taking a long time to make decisions. You want to let go of those past things that are using up a lot of your energy and figure out a system to make decisions quickly and with the least amount of mental thought possible.
– Do one thing at a time. Multitasking can drain your energy as you need to concentrate on more than one thing at a time. And, as you switch back and forth between tasks, you use energy to make that switch, which would be better used for one task.
– Organize. When you are organized, you are less likely to waste energy on trying to find things, trying to figure out what to do next, and worrying about what needs to be done. It’s all there for you to see.
– Work with your body’s natural ebb and flow of energy in the day. For most people, energy peaks in the middle of the morning and drops in the afternoon, followed by another peak in the early hours of the evening. If you can harness the times when you are most energetic to do the things that you need to be persistent with, then your energy will be used efficiently, and you can recharge during the down times with a nap or by focusing on things that don’t require a lot of energy.
– Take days off. While being persistent can lead to a lot of health and happiness rewards, taking days off to do fun or relaxing things can help you recharge and maintain the energy needed to be persistent. For instance, most people have the weekend off from their job and should use that time to fill up their soul with laughter, fun, and new experiences. With that kind of recharge, energy will be ready and waiting on Monday morning.
3. Persistence Is Better Than Talent
There are plenty of talented people who are not having any success in life. They simply can’t master the art of persistence, and because of that, their talent is not used in a way that benefits their life. This is important to remember as other people try to tell you what you can and cannot do.
When you have a job, people who depend on you, the bills, the house to clean, the exercise routine to keep up with, the meditation practice you want to focus on, supper to cook, books to read, things to learn, and free time to cherish, you can easily get burned out. It would be nice to fit a million things that we want to do into our day, but there is only so much time from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep. And, if you try to pack everything into your day, and add unexpected events, disrespectful people, and failures into the mix, feeling burned out is not likely – it’s guaranteed!
What Does Burned Out Mean?
It means that you are collapsing under the weight of work and stress. Although, work doesn’t just mean your job. It means all the stuff that you have to do in the day that you have committed to.
7 Big Signs That You Are Burned Out
When you are burned out, you have been pushed to your max and you are stressed out. There are many different signs of this, but following are the most common signs that people complain about.
1. You Are Extremely Tired
You don’t have a health condition that includes fatigue, but you are so tired and you just can’t explain it. Or, you are more tired than normal, even though fatigue is something you’ve dealt with for a while.
You want to stay in bed in the morning, go back to bed a few hours after you get up, and feel drained when you are faced with all the tasks that you must do in the day. Napping has become your number one goal.
You may even be drained to the point that you can’t focus and do what you need to do, so you give up and go lay down or watch TV or do something that doesn’t require any effort whatsoever.
Your duties at work and at home may suffer because of it too. You may miss important deadlines because you just can’t get the energy to do them, or you may forget about them altogether.
2. You Don’t Get Anything Done Well
When you have too much on your plate, you are being pulled in all directions. You have to get this done, but you want to get this done, and you should have already gotten that done! Your attention is being pulled all over the place that you can’t focus long enough on something to actually get it done well.
Your work may be suffering. What used to take you a day to do may take you a few days to finish up. And, you may be making many more mistakes than you used to make.
Your personal life may be suffering. Your friends and family may feel neglected and underappreciated. And, you may not feel like you have really spent quality time with them.
Your home life may be suffering. Your house may look a lot less clean than it used to. You may not have anything in order and you may be losing more stuff in your home that you could have sworn you just had.
3. You Want To Get Away
You have never wanted to get away more. You are fed up with things, and you want out. In fact, you want out so badly that you are thinking about shrugging off all your responsibilities and leaving today without telling anyone where you are going.
Or maybe you want to get away from the thing that is burning you out. For instance, you may have a burning desire to throw in the towel at work and quit, even though you have no other source of income in the works. Or, you may want to end a long-term relationship because you feel like it is too straining on you and causing you to have to deal with too much in your day.
4. You Are Having Unexplained Physical Problems
All types of online businesses need websites that require web hosting. Affiliate bloggers, business owners with products, and well-known people trying to create their own little property for their fans on the Internet all need to have a web hosting company to actually become visible online. Yes, you can try and create a presence on social media and write small posts and ideas on places like Facebook for interested readers to see; however, if you are serious about doing online business, you need to take the plunge and sign up for Web hosting services.
There is a ton of different web hosts out there, and they all claim that they are the best one. In fact, if you read their sales pages, you will be convinced that they are the best one because they all highlight their benefits so well. And since getting started with your online business can be stressful, you may just bite on the first good sales pitch that draws you in.
This BlueHost review will cover one of the more popular hosting companies out there. You will find that many top bloggers have used BlueHost in the beginning of their online careers and many still use it today, which is probably why you may have heard about it already. I have yet to see one blogger who doesn’t recommend it. And, when they recommend it, we know that we are on to something good! It’s obvious that BlueHost does a very good job of balancing features and price, and they offer a wide range of options that can help everyone from beginner to experienced have success online.
What Is BlueHost?
This is an established web hosting service that you can trust. BlueHost started operating in 1996. It was marketed as a web hosting solution for both medium and small businesses. In 2010, BlueHost was bought by the Endurance International Group, which is a group that owns web hosting brands such as HostGator. And, it’s been going strong ever since then with no end in sight. Signing up to BlueHost for your web hosting needs will mean that you don’t have to worry about switching out anytime soon.
BlueHost is one of the most reputable and oldest shared hosting companies available on the Internet. In fact, it is one of the most well-known companies for WordPress hosting, which is what most online businesses use for its user-friendly platform.
BlueHost is most known and used for its shared hosting. However, as your business grows, they can accommodate you with additional types of web hosting services like VPS, managed WordPress hosting and dedicated servers. BlueHost claims that it hosts more than 2 million websites across the world, which would make them one of the top web hosting companies based on the hosted sites volume. But don’t let that scare you away. Most users say that despite the number of sites that they host, they experience very little site downtime.
BlueHost gives you a lot of stuff that you wouldn’t expect from the bargain-priced shared hosting plans. This is one of the reasons why it is rated among the top hosting companies within the industry. As of this BlueHost review, they have more than 700 employees to help everything run smoothly.
BlueHost Prices And Plans
As of this BlueHost review, there are a few different web hosting plans available.
– Starter plan: $5.95 per month
– Performance plan: $8.95 per month
– Business Pro plan: $15.95 per month
The Starter plan is the plan that is suitable for beginners who just want one site. It is a good option to include since not every person has or wants multiple sites to host. But, the price is not much different than the next plan up and you can get much more with the Performance plan.
Their second plan, the Performance plan is the most value for money plan. At $8.95 per month, the plan allows you to web host unlimited number of sites, with no bandwidth or storage limits whatsoever. This hosting plan also comes preloaded with a single copy of BlueHost’s optional SpamExpert anti-spam solutions.
The last plan is the Business Pro plan. The plan costs $15.95. It offers all features of the Plus hosting plan together with the SSL certificate bundled-in, a dedicated IP, complimentary subscriptions of their optional SiteBackupPro services and several other perks.
To sum it up, BlueHost prices their hosting plans pretty reasonably. They are certainly not the cheapest around, but they still offer quality web hosting services.
BlueHost’s Hosting Features
BlueHost offers a wide range of features in the standard control panel, where you can easily manage many different aspects of your account. Below is a list of features that BlueHost offers: