Monthly Archives: October 2016
Monthly Archives: October 2016
Why should you be grateful in life? Following are 10 insights that I’ve gathered over the years that have helped me understand more about why I want to practice gratitude now and forever. I think that if you are not feeling too grateful today or are struggling with the concept of gratitude and how it works in life, they will help you feel better, so read on!
1. You Can’t Teach Someone Else To Be Grateful Unless They Want To Be Taught
You can create the best gratitude book, show, or course in the world and you will still not be able to help some people be grateful if they are not looking for a way to be more grateful. When it comes to gratitude, this is something you must remember or you will be frustrated more often than not with other people.
Almost all of us have a bitter or angry person in our lives who complains about everything and everyone. Most of us who understand gratitude (or are at least a little bit more aware of what life has to offer us) and want to be happier in our lives have tried to help these people see all the good things in their life and failed.
For me, I spent countless hours trying to get someone very close to me to understand that there is a lot to be grateful for in this life, such as his wife, his kids, his home, his health, and his wealth. He didn’t see any of these things in a positive light because he was too focused on the stress he had and the events, circumstances, and people who he saw in a negative light. Eventually, I gave up and used my time more wisely – focusing on what I was grateful for.
It’s not that ungrateful people are not capable of being grateful. It’s just that they are stuck in a way of thinking that doesn’t allow them to be grateful. And trying to change the way someone thinks is like trying to pull a hippo through a pinhole. It’s impossible. They are in too much pain to refocus their thoughts. They need to make the choice to think more positively and stop focusing on negative things that keep them in an ungrateful state. There’s nothing you can do about it.
The best you can do is lead by example. Trust me, if someone is ready to experience more gratitude in their life, your example will have a big impact on them. So, don’t despair if you can’t help a particular person feel better because, if you practice gratitude, you will help someone else.
2. You Can Be Grateful For Your Problems
Most of us encounter problems in life every day. And we can be grateful for most of the problems we encounter. This sounds crazy to some people, I know, but it just takes a new way of looking at life in order to make this a reality.
Many people view their problems as nuisances. They see them as harmful to them in some way and don’t get excited about overcoming them. It’s no wonder they can’t be grateful for the problems that arise in their life.
In order to be thankful for your problems, you have to see them for what they are. They are obstacles that help you grow, mature, and move closer to the life you want.
For instance, a blogger friend of mine recently had her site hacked for about a week without her noticing. All of her popular pages had been redirected to spam pages in a different language. This was a huge problem for her! All of her work was being hijacked and the search engines were showing her pages in a different language, which meant that very quickly her pages were not going to be ranked for the keywords that they were currently being ranked for, which would result in a big blow to her income. After a few hours of panic, she started to be grateful for this problem she was facing. She realized that she was going to learn how to fix her site and strengthen her security, which is exactly what she did. Now she knows so much more about hackers, how they can get into your site, and how to keep them out, which will help her have more success with her blogs in the future.
Seeing your problems as experiences that will help you grow is a great way to be grateful for them. Problems with your health, relationships, work, and home are all signs that something is going wrong and you need to shift what you are doing in order to help it go right.
Every problem is an opportunity to create a better life for yourself. When you see it like that, you will start to be grateful for most of the problems that arise in your life.
3. Gratitude Multiplies
When you are grateful for things in your life, you get more things to be grateful for. You can call this the law of attraction or just the law of being more positive and energetic and willing to bring good things into your life, but either way it is a simple truth.
We all have bad things happen to us that require us to forgive, but famous people are forced to either hang on to stuff or forgive in public. And because not forgiving other people can affect our lives in a big way, it becomes obvious when famous people are struggling with something from the past through their interviews and public appearances. While that’s not a fun thing for famous people, it is a good thing for all of us. We get to see what the act of forgiving or not forgiving can do to someone and apply those lessons in our own life.
The fact is that famous people have a lot of insight into forgiveness. Besides the everyday stuff that we all go through with relationships, they have to deal with very public unwarranted rumors, scrutiny, and crazy fans who can do them harm. Following are a few thoughts that popular celebrities have had about forgiving the people from their past and present.
1. We Are All Human Beings
We all know that Jennifer Aniston has had to do some forgiving in order to move past the affair that ended her marriage. Obviously, she was wronged much more publicly than most of us have been in a bad relationship, so she had to make statements about the affair and the divorce and how she felt afterward. One of the statements she made was simply that we are all human beings who make mistakes, which is such an important thing to remember in the act of forgiving.
Humans make mistakes. They make choices based on emotions, and sometimes those choices are really bad. That’s the way it goes. We all need to make some mistakes in life before we can grow and become better people.
While you don’t have to keep someone in your life who hurt you in some way, you can still recognize that their decisions were based on what they thought was the best at the time. It was the best they could do with what they had.
Knowing that they did the best they could, even if it was downright horrible, is comforting in some way. It helps you disengage from the belief that they intentionally hurt you and acted out of spite or anger instead of ignorance. That knowledge can help you forgive them and move on from the hurt that they caused.
Jennifer was able to collect herself, take some time to be single, and then find the love of her life because she was able to forgive. If she held resentment against Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, there is a good chance she could have sabotaged her career and her love life in the process.
2. It’s All An Experience
Oprah Winfrey has made it clear that there is a lot of people and situations she needed to forgive in her past, and that includes forgiving herself.
We all know she was raped, sexually abused, and has gone through many struggles with many people over the years that she needed to move forward from in order to get where she is.
And, through all her interviews with people who were struggling with issues and people from their past, Oprah has collected a lot of insight into forgiveness, how to do it, and what it can do for your life.
One of her most telling thoughts on forgiveness is when she said that real forgiveness is about being able to say thank you for the experience that you had.
That may sound crazy, considering what she and some other people have been through. You may think ‘how can you say thank you for being raped?’ I think the message here is not that it’s alright to be raped, but it’s alright to forgive the person and take something from the experience in a way that can benefit your life.
The real message here is that it’s easy to view the good times as experiences that we needed in life. But, the bad times are equally important, if not more so. They teach us a lot about who we are, how strong we are, and how we need to interact with the world and other people in order to be happy.
I don’t know exactly what she took from her experiences, but I imagine it was many important things – important lessons – that helped her become stronger, smarter, and move to the place where she is now. Oprah is perhaps one of the strongest and most wise famous people I know simply because of her experiences and because she has learned from hundreds and hundreds of people over the years.
3. They Were Probably In Pain When They Wronged You
Joel Osteen is a popular American preacher. He helps people work through their problems in a way that helps them move forward to a happier and healthier life. His messages are relatable to everyone, not just his congregation, and I highly recommend tuning into him on TV each Sunday for some uplifting messages that you can apply to your life.
When it comes to how to make people like you, telling lies is at the bottom of the list. There are plenty of people who try to win over others with lies about who they are and what they like. But those people aren’t very well liked, whether they know it or not. People may be nice to their face and pretend to like them, but deep down they can tell they are being tricked by them and feel a little bit ‘off’ about their relationship with them.
When someone really likes you, they like who you are, how you relate to them and the world around you, and what you stand for. They like your passion or purpose. They like the way you move through this world. They even like the differences that you have and what you can teach them through those differences.
And, most importantly, they like how you make them feel, which is why someone can never truly like someone being fake to them. They will always feel like they are being manipulated in some way, and nobody likes to be manipulated.
How To Make People Like You The Right Way
Other people really like you when you make them feel good about themselves. How can you do that? There are two big ways.
1. Show Them Things About You That They Like About Themselves
If you can show someone that you are just like them in ways that they like about themselves, then you can form a bond with them. You can form a likeness bond!
Again, you don’t need to be fake or lie. For example, if you want someone to like you and they are a big family person, you don’t need to pretend that you have a great family if you don’t. That’s not going to win them over because they know what someone who likes their family talks like and acts like, and you won’t be able to replicate those words or actions if you don’t genuinely like your family.
But, that doesn’t mean you can’t find other things in common with them. For example, you both may be very driven at work. That’s a commonality that will help them like you. You can share productivity secrets, work together to make great things happen, and talk about the lack of drive in other people around you. That similarity is enough to make someone like you, even if you have other differences.
It’s also important to show interest in their life. Show interest in their:
Or anything else that they bring up. You don’t have to be completely similar to them and agree with everything they say in order for them to like you, but showing interest will validate who they are, which will make them feel good about themselves. And validating other people as being fine just the way they are is a great way to get people to like you.
It’s also good to ask for their help once in a while. This shows them that you value their skills and knowledge, which will make you instantly more likable to them. Just make sure to be genuine. Don’t ask for help with something you are absolutely good with or they will question your motives.
And don’t forget to use your body language in a way that reminds them of how interesting they are. Yes, you can show them that they are interesting without even saying a word.
There are a few simple tricks that will help them feel heard, validated, and important as they talk to you, and I guarantee they will like you much more for it. I’ve perfected these tricks over the years and use them in every conversation I have. It may take you a while to perfect them too, but once you do, everyone will like much more.
– Eye contact: This is a simple way to show a lot of interest. When you look into someone’s eyes as they are talking, you are saying, “I hear you and I’m really listening to you!” It’s an easy way to help them feel as if you really give a crap about what they are saying. Just don’t stare too much or you can become creepy. Occasionally look away to reflect on what they said or to gather your thoughts. That will help you give the right amount of contact without having to worry about it.
– Nodding your head: As they talk, nodding your head at certain times shows that you are agreeing with what they say or understanding what they say. Both are important to getting them to feel good about themselves because.Continue reading
Every relationship is unique. And every relationship requires you to tackle it in slightly a different way. Your relationship with your mother is not going to be like your relationship with your partner. And your relationship with your friend is not going to be like your relationship with your coworker. But, there are some common things to remember in every relationship that you have. Regardless of what relationship you are dealing with, they will help you maintain the relationship, have more fun, and get more out of it.
1. Have Authentic Conversations
Always remember that as hard as it might be, authentic conversations are necessary to make the most out of all relationships in your life. When you are authentic, the other person can feel it and you feel better about yourself, and that strengthens the bond you have with them.
That means you need to speak the truth, even when it seems scary to do so. The truth is what helps people understand you better, relate to you better, and like you more.
This should be done from the start of a relationship to avoid trust issues. But, it’s never too late to start being authentic.
If you are in a rocky relationship or feel like the people around you don’t trust you, this is one of the most important things to remember moving forward! Once you start speaking your truth – and maintaining that way of communicating – you will earn the trust of everyone around you and create much better relationships with them.
Another thing to remember is that if people don’t know the authentic you, then your entire relationship with them is a fraud and you will always be unhappy. They are in a relationship with someone other than you, and they will never be able to understand your needs, dreams, and reasons for doing what you do.
2. It’s Never All About You Or Them
A relationship has two people, which means that both of those people need to be heard, validated, and allowed to be themselves in the relationship. You can’t (nor should you) always get your way, talk about yourself, focus on your needs, or make someone else give up what they want just to please you. And neither should they.
This little bit of relationship advice would have saved me a lot of pain when I was younger, and it would have kept almost all of my relationships intact since I was a kid. Seriously, it’s that important! I spent a lot of time making my relationships about me. It wasn’t until I woke up and realized that relationships are not just about me that things started to get better.
But it’s not just enough to know it, you have to actually understand it. Because when you do, you can stop looking through your lens and start seeing things from other people’s perspectives.
When you really get this, your relationships and your happiness will change.
As a bonus, if you are in a relationship with someone who is making it all about them, you can understand how wrong that is and put a stop to it. That means you can stop being miserable and start demanding more for yourself.
For instance, a friend of mine has let her husband make their relationship all about him for over 10 years. Her needs aren’t met. She must please him at all times. She doesn’t get to share her feelings or thoughts. And just the other week he came home and told her that he booked a vacation across the country – for himself. That’s when she finally realized that their relationship was all about him, and she couldn’t put up with it anymore.
The next time you are with anyone, remind yourself that it’s never all about you or them. This will help you take into consideration their feelings and needs and find compromises that make you and them happy. It will also help you demand more for yourself.
3. Don’t Purposely Hurt Other People