Monthly Archives: November 2016
Monthly Archives: November 2016
You know that there is someone amazing inside of you, but you don’t know how to access him or her. I get it. Life has a way of sucking you into being mediocre, and because so many people are uninspired in life, it can be hard to find a role model to help you get off the path of ordinary. But, if you are one of the people who want to unlock your potential and be someone much more than you are now, there are some things that you must do. These things will help you go forward despite your fears, get back up when you fall down, and move in the right direction towards your fullest potential.
1. Stop Buying Into The Brules
Vishen Lakhiani has a term for rules that are simply pure crap. He calls them brules – a combination of ‘bullshit’ and ‘rules’. There are so many brules that you could be buying into every day that are holding you back from unlocking your potential.
Brules are things that you have learned throughout your life from your parents, elders, peers, and society that simply aren’t true. Yet, some of them are so ingrained as ‘truth’, that they can become an obstacle that is too hard to overcome.
A lot of the brules we adopt stem from our desire to fit in. We want the people around us to like us. We want to do what other people think is right. So we adopt these rules – which aren’t actually concrete truths – and we follow them to keep the peace with everyone.
How can you recognize a brule? A brule isn’t something that has been proven to be true. A rule, on the other hand, is something that makes sense and is proven to be true.
For instance, a rule that you may want to follow is that you should not walk off a cliff. I think you and I can agree that’s a pretty good rule in life that makes a lot of sense.
A brule would be that you can’t choose what religion you want to be. That’s a bullshit rule. Of course you can choose! You have a mind that is capable of choosing. You can let go of certain beliefs and develop new ones. Therefore, you are perfectly capable of choosing what religion you want to follow. But, because everyone around you tells you that you can’t choose, you can easily believe that this brule is a rule of life.
Another brule would be that you can’t leave your abusive spouse. So many people stay stuck in a marriage that holds them back from their true potential because they believe they are incapable of living without that person. That’s just a brule that they have developed through their various areas, such as their fearful parent who believes that marriage is for life despite how bad it gets.
The bottom line is that brules will hold you back from doing what you need to do to unlock your potential. Therefore, you need to sit down and ask yourself whether the rules you are following in life are rules or brules. If they are brules, then stop buying into them.
Give yourself permission to see that there are many different ways of going through life. One rule, without no real reason to back it up, doesn’t apply to everyone in life. If it did, we wouldn’t have people reaching their potential and doing amazing things that other people firmly believe is impossible.
2. Make Education A Life Long Venture
There is no way around it. In order to unlock your potential, you have to grow as a person. You have to understand more about yourself and the things you want to do. And you need to understand how other people reached their potential so you can use their lessons to help you unlock your potential.
I’m talking, in part, about education. And no, you don’t have to go to school to learn what you need to learn. You can get online and research. You can take an online course. You can meet with people who are actively working towards their potential as well and learn from them.
It’s important to read as much as possible. Read online content. Read books. Read poetry. Read social media posts around a topic that you are interested in. The more you read, the more you expand your awareness and can see things from different points of view. And, the more you read, the more inspiration you will get on how to unlock your potential.
I have found that as I learn, I change. My habits and beliefs change. My perception on life changes. And those are huge things that help me see what I’m capable of and go after it.
I also highly recommend teaching. If you can get online and start a blog where you teach other people what you know, you will learn from them and their experiences. Even if you think you know all there is to know about a subject, you will often get insights into other people’s experiences and perceptions that challenge what you thought you knew. It’s a great way to learn.
Don’t know where to start? Go out right now and look at some magazines. You will be naturally drawn to things that you are interested in. You will naturally want to read more about what’s on the cover of something that grabs your attention. That topic is likely something that will help you start to unlock your potential, so allow yourself to read the magazine, even if you think it has nothing to do with who you are or who you want to become. You may be surprised at where it leads you!
3. Dig Into Your Subconscious Beliefs
Life can be hard when you are full of expectations and keep coming face to face with failures, breakups, deaths, and all those other situations that throw a wrench in your plans. When you keep getting disappointed, it can be hard to go with the flow, even if it’s the very thing you want to do to feel better. After all, letting go should help you avoid all the pain, right? Well, in my experience going with the flow and letting go are two different things.
The Difference Between Going With The Flow And Letting Go
If you go with the flow does that mean you have no power to create the life you want? Absolutely not! Going with the flow is not about being a dead fish that floats where the river takes you. It’s about being alive, thinking for yourself, making choices, and living your best life as well as you can.
Some people will tell you that to go with the flow means you are letting other people make choices for you. That’s called letting go, not going with the flow. That’s also called letting yourself be ignorant to what’s actually going on in life. Letting go means you let yourself get victimized by other people and circumstances that are out of your control. It means shutting your eyes to what’s happening around you. Going with the flow means something else entirely.
Going with the flow means engaging in the reality of life. It means facing what comes and making choices based around those things. It means understanding that good things and bad things happen in life, and accepting them when they come. And it means being in charge of your life and choosing what step you are going to take next.
For instance, in a new relationship, you don’t want to give up and let your new partner dictate the relationship. Your beliefs and needs are important, and you should be willing to communicate with your partner in a way that helps them understand what you want. Going with the flow means accepting the new truths you find out about your partner and making choices based on those truths. It means understanding that your partner is not always going to be happy and dealing with negative emotions when they come instead of resisting them. And, it means recognizing when things are going off the deep end in your relationship and making a choice about what to do next. Letting go, on the other hand, would be explaining away bad behavior or other negative things and accepting them as a part of life. It would mean letting go of your control in life and letting those negative things dictate how you feel and how your relationship goes.
In other words, going with the flow gives you more power in life. It helps you ride the waves of life and still be in control of what happens next. Letting go means letting the waves flip you over and then crush you and your spirit because you don’t bother to make choices that help you get out from underneath the waves and ride them.
You Can’t Control Everything
In the past little while, this truth has been more obvious than it has in a long time. We all know that despite our votes, voices, and protests, things don’t always go the way we want. This includes things such as natural events, but it also includes things that feel more in our power, such as an election.
The problem lies in our expectations. Expectations are detrimental to our happiness and ability to go with the flow.
When things happen that you never predicted, you will always be frustrated and resistant to what is going on. And, when you put up resistance, you will get yourself stuck in life which ensures you can’t move forward in a positive way.
Everyone can relate to unrequited love. We have all loved someone who doesn’t return that love or even know that we love them in that way. Many of us have also been loved by someone that we didn’t feel the same way about. Unrequited love is a part of life, and it is probably one of the most painful parts of life.
The problem is that because love is such an important part of life that can make our logical sides turn to mush, it can be hard to spot when we are stuck in an unhealthy version of love. Following are some signs that you are either in love with someone who doesn’t love you back or that you are being loved by someone you don’t love.
3 Big Signs You Are In Love With Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back
1. You Are Loving To Them, But They Are Unloving To You
This sounds obvious, but if you are in the situation, it can be hard to see past your feelings for them. But, you can see if you are willing to look hard enough.
If they are treating you with disrespect, annoyance, frustration, or anger, and you feel that they are always being mean to you for no apparent reason, then they don’t love you back. Nobody treats someone they love like that. They may be pretending to love you. Or they may know how you feel about them and they are putting up with you while trying to give you the message that they don’t feel the same.
2. You Think They Are Perfect
When you get into a state of loving someone so much, even though they don’t love you back, you may be wearing rose-colored glasses around them. Everything they do and say may seem perfect because you idealize them so much. And even if they are mean or rude, you can find an excuse as to why they are being like that, whether it makes a lot of sense or not.
When you want someone so badly because you love them so much, you go blind to their imperfections. And, if the person you love is a human, they will have imperfections. If you are not seeing them, then you need to step back and take some time to think about that.
3. Your Happiness Depends On Them
If your day is good or bad depending on the person you love, then there is a good chance that you are experiencing unrequited love. This is true whether or not they know they love you.
You feel disappointed when someone or something lets you down. They may not live up to your expectations or they may not deliver on their promises. When you are disappointed in yourself, someone else, a situation, or humanity in general, life can feel very negative. Your accusations and discouraging thoughts can make it hard to be happy, and you can waste a lot of precious time in a negative state. That’s a complete waste of time.
The Problem With Living In A State Of Disappointment
There are only so many hours in your life, and you don’t want to be stuck in a state of disappointment for many of them. If you check out any emotional guidance scale, you will see that disappointment is not the worst feeling you could have, but it is still not close to an emotion that helps you to feel good. And in order to live the life you want, you need to have emotions that make you feel good, such as hopefulness, optimism, passion, and even contentment.
When you are feeling positive emotions, you are thinking good thoughts. And the health benefits of positive thoughts and emotions include:
– Increased life span, so that you can do more things that make you feel good.
– Less stress, which can improve both your physical and mental health in a big way.
– A stronger immune system that helps fight off colds and other diseases.
– Stronger heart health to decrease your chances of death from cardiovascular disease.
– Increased ability to problem solve and overcome obstacles.
– Increased ability to learn and grow as a human being.
– Ability to build stronger and more beneficial relationships.
The list of benefits goes on and on.
The point is that you don’t want to stay stuck in a state of being disappointed. The quicker you pivot towards happier emotions, the quicker you can get back to experiencing the benefits of them. So let’s talk about how to move through disappointment and start feeling good again.
When You Are Disappointed In Yourself
This is the easiest one to fix. Why? Because you have complete control over what you do and how you act in every moment of the day. This means that you can take action on what has disappointed you and start to turn things around.
For instance, if you are disappointed in yourself for not reaching a goal, then you can simply create a new goal and start immediately taking action on it. Many times just the act of writing down the new goal and setting the intent to go after it can help you alleviate the disappointment you are feeling.
If you are disappointed about where you are in life, then you can start taking action to get yourself somewhere different. You can learn more about yourself, learn how to become more of the person you want to be, learn what you need to do to get where you want to get, and then start taking action on those things immediately.
As you start to take action, you may have some moments where you remember why you were disappointed in yourself, but you will find that shaking it off and getting busy in the present moment will help you move away from that disappointment and, eventually, overcome the disappointment completely.
And if you let your disappointment teach you a lesson, you can ensure that the action (or lack of action) you took plays an important part in your life rather than a wasted opportunity or time of your life.