Author Archives: MERCURY
Author Archives: MERCURY
A lot of things in this life require courage. Without courage, we stay in our comfort zone and miss opportunities, and we live in a state of pain or grief much longer than we need to live there. With courage, we can accomplish great things and create a life that is worth living. If you need some courage right now, then I hope one of the following motivational and inspiring stories about finding courage will inspire you to gather it and find the strength to do what needs to be done.
1. A Story About Finding Courage To Deal With The Upcoming Death Of A Loved One
Carlie’s mom was going to die, it was just a matter of when. She had stage 4 cancer and was given a life expectancy of under 12 months. Carlie was living in denial and terrified to admit that truth to herself.
Carlie spent the first month after her mother’s suggested life expectancy avoiding her mother. She didn’t want to deal with the grief that was welling up inside of her. By avoiding her mother she could focus on other things that didn’t make her feel bad.
One day her mother showed up on Carlie’s doorstep unexpectedly. She had a scrapbook in her arms and said she wanted Carlie to take a look at it. Carlie and her mother sat down at the kitchen table and her mother opened up the scrapbook and went through it page by page with Carlie.
At the end, Carlie knew that she would no longer hide from the upcoming death. She also knew she wouldn’t focus on it either. The scrapbook, full of loving and happy moments between Carlie and her mother, had reminded her that her mother’s life was more important than her death and that Carlie wanted to soak up every moment that she had left with her mother.
She started her own scrapbook that same day focused solely on the journey her and her mother were taking together. Every week she filled it up with memories of what they did. Laughter, fun, love, and adventure were the main themes of the scrapbook.
The experiences she shared with her mother, along with the reminder of those experiences as she scrapbooked them, gave Carlie the courage to spend time with her mother, even when she wasn’t doing well. She cherished the life, not the death, and in the end, she learned that was really mattered the most.
Carlie says that this story is focused on one of the biggest lessons of her life. Moreover, it is one of few motivational and inspiring stories she shares with everyone she meets.
2. A Story About Finding The Courage To Leave An Abusive Spouse
Brittany’s husband was good to her for the first few months of marriage. She got pregnant, they were happy, and everything seemed perfect. Then she found out he was cheating on her.
She confronted him and yelled and screamed and slammed doors. She knew she was overreacting, but she couldn’t believe that he would cheat on her. He didn’t say anything to her. He just walked out the door and didn’t come back for a week. He didn’t answer her calls. He gave her the silent treatment for the entire week and she nearly lost her mind.
Her friend told her that this kind of treatment was emotionally abusive and she needed to make sure she let her husband know that it was not okay to treat her like this. Instead, when her husband came back, she decided to let it go in fear that he would leave again. He never brought up that cheating incident and she was too scared to.
Then a few months later she found out he was still cheating on her and she flipped out again, expect this time he didn’t just leave. He grabbed her by the throat and told her that SHE had pushed him toward cheating because she was so crazy. Then he pushed her into the wall, walked out the door, and didn’t come back for two weeks. Again, he gave her the silent treatment.
When he came back, she had nearly lost her mind. Wondering where he had been, and assuming it was with the woman he cheated with, had left her feeling hopeless and unwanted. She felt weak and powerless, and she knew that if she pushed her husband again he would run back to the arms of his mistress, so she decided once again to let it go.
After she had their baby, her husband became angrier. He didn’t like the baby crying. He didn’t like the fact that his wife couldn’t always keep the house clean and have supper on the table for him. And he didn’t like the attention she was showing to her baby over him.
This is a list of inspirational songs for every area of your life, which is why you need to add all of them your inspirational playlist to have ready. You never know when life is going to throw you something where inspiration is required. Some songs are fun and inspire joy, but some songs can inspire you to stay strong, help you stay committed, make you more positive, and help you reach new heights. Some songs can inspire you to focus on what really matters in life. Some songs can help you make important choices in life and love. And some songs can inspire you to do something amazing in your life or someone else’s.
1. Sia – The Greatest: Inspires You To Keep Going
Sia has hinted that this song is a tribute towards the 2016 Orlando nightclub shooting, and some people say that it represents the struggle that the LGBT community go through. In the video, it shows the struggle that children go through as they find themselves. But the words are inspiring for anyone who is trying to accomplish something.
“The Greatest” is not only catchy, it causes your emotions to go up and down with the lyrics. In the start, we can all relate to the ‘Uh-oh, running out of breath’ and the ‘see another mountain to climb’. That’s how life works. We run into constant struggles in all areas of our lives and we have to summon up the courage to not give up and move forward.
The transition in the song from the struggle to the self-talk ‘Don’t give up, I won’t give up’ is how we move through tough times. Then, as we start to realize our strength, we realize that we are free to be the best at what we are doing if we want to be.
This is my go-to song when I need to be reminded that I’m alive, I’m strong, I shouldn’t give up, and I’m free to be awesome at whatever I want to do, whether that be in my career, in my relationships, or in any other part of my life. I have yet to find a part of my life that “The Greatest” doesn’t give me inspiration for.
2. Bon Jovi – It’s My Life: Inspires You To Take Control Of Your Life
“It’s My Life” is one of those inspirational songs that you want to listen to when you are starting to get pumped to live life to the fullest or to go after something that you want. As the intro says, ‘This ain’t a song for the broken-hearted’ because the broken hearted and the ‘faith-departed’ don’t always feel like they have control over their life. But for people who are standing their ground, not backing down, and are ready to make their own breaks in life, this song will inspire you to take control and do it now, because, as the chorus says, ‘I ain’t gonna live forever, I just want to live while I’m alive.’
This song will inspire you to defend yourself when you need to and to keep going despite the people trying to slow you down. It will help you get back up when other people have tried (and possibly succeeded) to walk all over you. And, it will remind you that doing things your own way is a great way to live your life and make the most out of it.
3. The Youngbloods – Get Together: Inspires You To Live Peacefully
When it comes to inspirational songs that can be sung as a prayer for peace, both out loud and in your heart, “Get Together” stands out. ‘Smile on your brother, everybody get together, try to love one another, right now’ is a well-known chorus, and “Get Together” is a well-known inspirational song that drives home the point that we should get together and love one another while we can. This song has been noted as a song that summed up what was happening in America and the world in the 60s, but the meaning behind it still holds water today. It’s a call for peace and brotherly love.
It also speaks of something that we need to be reminded of – fear is the path to death and love is the way to enjoy life. We have the power to choose which emotion we focus on, and we also have the power to shape the direction of the world as the lyric ‘You can make the mountains ring, or make the angels cry’ points out so well.
I strongly believe that the energy we give out can affect the people around us, so when you need to listen to inspirational songs that help you get into a loving and peaceful state that will hopefully affect other people in a loving and peaceful way, listen to this song. You will find yourself viewing the people around you in a different way and inspiring other people to take on that same view.
4. Survivor – Eye Of The Tiger: Inspires You To Do What You Need To Do In Any Area Of Life
I once used this song to illustrate the determination my friend had while running a long distance through an obstacle course. The song fit her determination in the video perfectly, just as it did for Sylvester Stallone in “Rocky III’ during his inspirational montage where he trains for his fight.
This song symbolizes having the will to stand back up and rise to your feet after going to the distance. In boxing, going the distance means to last all the scheduled rounds. So, the lyrics, ‘Went the distance, now I’m back on my feet, just a man and his will to survive’ speak of a man who has lasted through the tough times and is still on his feet trying to survive.
This song is good for getting things done with enthusiasm and spirit. If you need an inspiring song to help you finish off your workout, listen to this. If you need an inspiring song to confront someone with conviction, listen to this. No matter what situation, “Eye Of The Tiger” will help you realize how far you’ve come and how strong you are, and then prepare you to get to where you want to be.
5. George Michael – Faith: Inspires You Keep Hope And Faith Alive
Need some faith that something better is coming around the corner? Need to remind yourself to wait for the perfect person? Need to remind yourself of why you left your ex and should stay an ex with them? This song is good for all of those things and more. The beat is uplifting and it encourages you to keep the faith for something better.
This song has been used in my life for a variety of things. I used it to hold out for a loving partner. I used it when I was hopeful that I would have a great time on my vacation, but doubtful at the same time. I used it when I heard gossip and wasn’t sure if it was true or not. This song has inspired me to hold out and hope for a better outcome than my fears or worries could ever imagine, and that’s why I consider it one of the top inspirational songs around.
6. Tim McGraw – Humble And Kind: Inspires You To Be A Good Person Despite What’s Happening
If you need some inspiration to be kind and humble in a time where it’s hard to be like that, this song is for you. This song inspires me to be a better person during the high points and the low points in my life.
It’s got many reminders of what to do to stay humble and kind, including simple but important things such as ‘Hold the door, say please, say thank you.’ And, it addresses the fact that even if you have mountains to climb (which you do or will) you need to stay humble and kind. The whole song is full of great lyrics that remind you of what it is to be a good and loving person in this world.
This is also one of those inspiring songs that will help you stay balanced when you achieve great things. ‘When those dreams you’re dreaming come to you,’ you will remember to stay humble and kind as you feel the pride.
7. Justin Timberlake – Can’t Stop The Feeling: Inspires You To Enjoy Life
If you need some inspiration to get happy when you’re feeling down, “Can’t Stop The Feeling” should help. For me, it helps lift me up when I’m down and reminds me that when I’m feeling low or life feels too serious, I should take a step back and enjoy life.
I usually dance to this song because it’s hard not to start moving to this song as you’re listening to it. The lyrics say, ‘Feeling good, good, creeping up on you, so just dance, dance, dance,’ helps you feel incrementally better and get your body naturally moving.
8. Rascal Flats – My Wish: Inspires The Feeling Of Being Loved And Important
As far as moving and loving inspirational songs goes, this one tops the charts. It will feel like someone who loved or loves you is speaking to you. It will remind you of your love for someone else as you picture yourself saying the words to them. It will help you remember that you’re not alone – you have someone who loves you and supports you getting to your goals.
As a friend of mine put it, “It reminds me that I’m not alone in this world and no matter what my goals are or where I might have to go to realize my dreams, my friends and family are all still with me cheering me on and wishing me everything good and hoping for my success in every area of my life.
So, if you need some inspiration from a loved one, but they are not around to give you it, listen to ‘My Wish’. And when you hear, ‘And if you’re faced with the choice and you have to choose, I hope you choose the one that means the most to you,’ you will feel inspired to do what you need to do to keep moving forward.
9. James Bay – Let It Go: Inspires You To Let Go Of A Bad Relationship
Sometimes we need some inspiration to end a relationship that we know is not good for us. While other people can tell us how bad the relationship is until they are blue in the face, it’s not until we really get emotional and understand that it’s time to move on that we can let it go. That’s where “Let It Go” comes in.
If you know that you and someone are too different to be together, this song will inspire you to recognize the turbulence that is going on between the two of you and help you make the decision to leave.
The lyrics ‘Why don’t you be you, and I’ll be me’ will stick out in your mind as you start to see that the two of you are different, and as you listen to the words, ‘Trying to fit your hand inside of mine, when we know it just don’t belong,’ you will become clearer on how you are trying to force the relationship that just isn’t working out.
10. Jennifer Rush – Power Of Love: Inspires You To Celebrate The Love In Your Life
If you need an inspirational song to help you remember how powerful love is, “Power of Love” is a great song. It helps you remember the powerful connection you have with the people you love. It helps you remember why you fell in love with them in the first place. And, if they have passed on, it helps you remember how your love will always keep you connected.
In fact, I’ve heard “Power Of Love” played at a few funerals where one lover has lost another and they want to remember the love that they shared and will forever share. It may leave you in tears, depending on where you at in your relationships, but it will inspire the deep passionate love which is always a good thing.
11. Martin Garrix BEBE Rexha – In The Name Of Love: Inspires A Loving Mood
If you need some inspiration to get into a loving mood, then this is a great song. It inspires you to imagine what you would do in the name of love, which inspires you to think of the person you love and how deeply you really love them. That’s not something that we often think about in our day-to-day routine. So listen to this before a date or a big moment with someone you love.
If you are single, then this is a great song to remind you that waiting for someone who would do anything for you in the name of love, and who you would do anything for, is worth it. It will inspire you to look past the mediocre and hold out for something great.
12. Katy Perry – Firework: Inspires Excitement For Living
This is one of the best inspirational songs to get you excited about living life. It’s a great song to get your inspired to get back up when you have been beaten down, feel hopeless, feel useless, or feel invisible in life.
The song will remind you that there is a ‘firework’ inside of you and you don’t have to be unhappy. It will remind you that you are original and irreplaceable, and that the future has lots in store for you even if you are just coming out of a ‘hurricane’. As you listen to the lyrics, you can hear a really good friend telling you how amazing you are and how much you have to offer, and the upbeat tune helps ignite those thoughts and emotions even more.
13. American Authors – Best Day Of My Life: Inspires You To Look Forward To Your Day
If you need a song to get you out of bed in the morning and in the right mindset, “Best Day Of My Life” will work! It fits all the criteria for a song to start the day off right – it’s upbeat, it’s inspiring, and it’s easy to sing and dance to.
Besides screaming ‘This is gonna to be the best day of my life’ over and over again, the lyrics at the end of the song, ‘Everything is looking up, everybody up now,’ is a great way to remind you that this is a fresh new day that you and everyone else are facing and there are many positive possibilities ahead of you.
Anyone who is struggling in life will also benefit from this song. If you are facing a tough situation right now, this song will remind you to make the most out of your day and not waste it away on worry, fear, or anger.
14. Hedley – Anything: Inspires You To Go After Your Dreams, No Matter How Different They May Be
This is one of the most inspirational songs for going against the grain and going after your dreams in life, despite what other people think. It’s catchy, it promotes a lot of emotion, and you can envision yourself saying, ‘A thousand disbelievers couldn’t keep me on the ground’ and ‘I can do anything’ as you listen to it.
There is a swear in it, so people who don’t like swears in their music may not like this, but I think that particular swear word emphasizes the meaning behind the message of not listening to the haters or disbelievers and staying strong enough to do what you need to do.
15. Sara Bareilles – Brave: Inspires You To Be Brave
Need some inspiration to stop being so silent? Be brave? Be yourself? Be fine with who you are despite what other people say or think? Despite how they react around you? “Brave” by Sara Bareilles tells you that ‘You can be the outcast, or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love’ OR ‘you can start speaking up’.
You can be brave, and like Sara Bareilles suggests, people want to see the real you – and they want to see you be brave.
It’s also a reminder that while some people are going to wonder if you have lost your mind as you do brave things, there are other people who are going to enjoy you and want to be brave too. Lastly, you will be reminded that being brave will help other people be brave too.
16. Pink – Raise Your Glass: Inspires You To Celebrate YOU
If you feel like an underdog, then “Raise Your Glass” will help you celebrate it and inspire you to embrace who you are. When you raise your glass, you are toasting something, which in this case, you raise your glass ‘if you are wrong in all the right ways.’
One of the things I like about this song is that Pink talks about her glass being empty and how much it sucks, which is a direct correlation to how much it sucks when you stop celebrating who you are!
This song will inspire you to keep that cup full and keep raising your glass as you move through life, even if you are the underdog, the freak, or just plain different.
17. Bryan Adams – Here I Am: Inspires You To Keep Going Forward And To Embrace New Relationships
I highly recommend having this song on your inspirational playlist as it can help inspire you at a few different times in your life. In fact, this song can inspire you in two big ways.
First, a lot of people need inspiration to keep going forward in a world that seems like it is stuck or going backward. “Here I Am” is a soft and slow song that says ‘it’s a new world – it’s a new start,’ which is exactly what we need to remember at this point. It’s a new world right now, but together we can make our dreams come true.
Second, if you are contemplating getting into a new relationship, this song can help you see the potential in it. Yes, getting into a new relationship can be scary, but it gives you a chance to start again and make your dreams come true. It helps you plant your feet firmly on the ground and say ‘Here I am!’ and let’s do this!
18. Taylor Swift – Shake It Off: Inspires You To Let Things Go
This song was and is popular because it is so fun to sing, but also because it has an inspiring message behind it – you can shake things off and keep going forward despite what other people do or say.
It’s a song that reminds you that other people are going to do what they are going to do and all you have control over is yourself, so why not ‘shake it off’ when they do something stupid?
It’s also a great reminder, with the lyric ‘I never miss a beat, I’m lightning on my feet, and that’s what they don’t see,’ that people don’t always see the awesomeness and potential you have. It will inspire you to remember that other people don’t have a clue what you’re made of, or are capable of, so their words are not truth, they are just opinion.
19. Walk Off The Earth – Rule The World: Inspires You To Go After Your Dreams Despite The Roadblocks
This is another one of those inspirational songs that will help inspire you to keep going towards your dreams when people are trying to hold you back. As you listen, you will remember the times that you did what other people wanted – ‘I chased illusion, then I watched it fade to black, throwing me off track’ – and it will remind you that you didn’t feel right doing those things that didn’t align with who you are and what you want. Then you get reminded that it feels great to carry on with your dreams and you should stay the course no matter what comes in your way – ‘found revolution… I aint’ coming back,’ which will inspire you to keep moving forward.
20. Alanis Morissette – You Learn: Inspires You To Grow From Painful Experiences
Lastly, this made the list of one of the most inspirational songs because it will inspire you to keep going during and after life’s down periods, and it will help you embrace the future down periods that are going to come. The song gives advice that you should bite off more than you can chew and stick your foot in your mouth because when you do things like that, you learn.
You grow every time something bad happens to you. That includes every time you lose someone or something, every time you laugh, every time you really take a chance and live, every time you do something stupid, and every time you make a choice.
Life has times of suffering and great joy, but at every moment you are learning and growing and becoming more of who you want to be. “You Learn” will inspire you to accept that fact and even celebrate the growth in your own way.
There are speeches said with so much passion that you can’t help but be brought to tears. There are moving speeches of real life stories focused on what people went through and the lessons they had to learn the hard way. And there are speeches that were created to, hopefully, make an impact and change the direction of the world.
It would be impossible to talk about all of the greatest speeches in history in one article. Therefore, while I think the following speeches offer some big lessons for today that everyone can learn and grow from, I highly recommend that if you are struggling with something in your life, look up some of the greatest speeches in history for inspiration, clarity, and motivation. They were written and said to inspire and inform. And they live on to help you break free from any limiting beliefs and struggles you may have so that you can move towards a better life.
John. F. Kennedy’s Inaugural Address in 1961
John F. Kennedy made some of the greatest speeches in history, but his inaugural address made a clear statement about what he believed in and what direction he wanted, not just his country to go, but the world to go. The speech itself helped the nation understand how knowledgeable he was despite his young age of 43, and how serious he was about creating peace and cooperation.
While many people quote the line, ‘Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country’, I think his next sentence, ‘My fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man,’ was beautifully said, sums up the message of his speech, and is just as important today as it was back then.
The message paints a picture of cooperation, where we are all working together for the freedom of all. If this one line from his inaugural address had come true, imagine how the world would be now. A world working together for the freedom of all man and woman, not just the person who has certain beliefs or customs, but every man and woman.
His vision for the world was truly a great one and can be seen in this speech. If there were more leaders who held his core values and were willing to convey their messages to the public and other leaders, then this world would take a huge step in the right direction.
If you ever wonder what we can do to make this world better, watch this speech. It’s a great message to memorize. It’s also a great message to try to convey to other people in your own words. If we can all live in a way that aligns with the core values that promote this kind of message, the world will improve.
Muhammad Ali’s Speech On What He’s Going To Do When He’s Through Fighting
J.K. Rowling said in one of her books that wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure. A witty person can win over people easily. A witty person can get what they want out of relationships because they are able to charm other people and influence them. A witty person can adapt to any situation and turn it into something positive for themselves. In other words, learning how to be witty is one of the best things you can do for your relationships and success with them and life in general.
Being witty is not about telling jokes or doing silly things. It’s about being in situations and coming up with a clever and comical observation. It’s about being in the moment and thinking on your feet. It’s about saying and doing things that make you look charming and earn other people’s affection and interest.
Not everyone is naturally witty, but everyone can learn how to be witty. It takes practice, just like everything else, but because it is such an attractive and important trait to have, the motivation to practice should be there for you.
11 Big Tips On How To Be Witty
Following are some tips that will help you be wittier. Some of these tips may not be what you expected, but all of them are important to develop a wittiness that people find charming and engaging. The bad news is that you are not going to become witty overnight. The good news is that all of these tips are doable for anyone and you have the power to become wittier if you choose to put in the work.
1. Practice Common Sense
The thing about witty people is that they are able to judge a situation ‘as is’ without embellishing anything. They point out the facts and have good insight into what is going on. They aren’t silly or off the wall. They see the facts, and they are able to see the truth and find the humor in those facts.
Common sense is developed by slowing down and thinking things through. Don’t react quickly to situations or comments. Take some time to get all the facts around what’s going on and think about them before you react. The more you practice this, the quicker you will be at having good judgment around a situation.
2. Learn More About Body Language
Keep in mind that reacting to situations and other people includes your body language as much as it does your words. Just like you can display ignorance or prejudice through your body language without saying a word, you can also display wittiness through your body language without saying a word. So it doesn’t matter how witty you are verbally, if you are sending an opposite message through your body language, your words are going to be meaningless.
The fact is that a lot of people don’t know what their body language is really saying to others, and a lot of people don’t even think about their body language. Are you one of them? Learn more about how facial expressions, hand gestures, and even positioning your body can influence the message someone receives from you.
3. Become Wiser
Witty people know a lot of things. They are able to draw from their wisdom and find a humorous angle because of it. They have a lot of experience in life and because of that they have a lot more common sense, intelligence, and insight than other people. This is why the elderly are often witty. But, age isn’t really a factor when it comes to wisdom.
Wisdom comes from experience and being open to new ideas and perspectives. Always look at experiences with curiosity. Ask questions in every experience you have. What can you learn from the experience? What can you take away from a situation to make your life better? Is a different way of viewing things more beneficial than how you view things now? These questions will help you accept new idea and perspectives into your life and become wiser because of it.
You will notice that as you become wiser, you will be able to see perspectives that other people can’t, which will often be humorous. This will help you stand out as the wittiest person in the room!
4. Learn About What Makes People Laugh
To be witty, you have to make people laugh, which means you need to understand what people find funny in the first place. I know plenty of people who think they understand what makes people laugh, but it’s obvious that they don’t because they often end up offending people or turning people off. Have you ever gotten that reaction? Then you may need to study up on what people find funny.
Should you embrace your social awkwardness is social settings? Is it just a part of who you are? Some people will tell you to embrace it, but I truly feel that it’s important to try and overcome being socially awkward as much as possible, especially if you want to create a life full of relationships, love, happiness, and success.
Being socially awkward will affect your life negatively. It may not affect your online life, where you can say whatever is on your mind without fear of hearing a reply and where you can delete any word or statement you make. But, it will affect your ability to form real relationships with family, friends, and co-workers, and it will affect your self-esteem, success, and happiness in the long run.
The bottom line is that when you are socially awkward you feel awkward or out of place, and that makes all situations and events with other people more difficult than they need to be. Moreover, it can hold you back from going after things you want because, often, the things you want are through or around other people, which can be hard to face.
Therefore, I highly suggest that you embrace your social awkwardness as a part of who you are now and then find a way to improve your social skills and confidence so you can become less socially awkward.
10 Signs That You Are Socially Awkward
Are you not sure if you are socially awkward? Following are some common experiences awkward people have. If you find that you relate to almost all of them, then you are socially awkward and need to work on it if you want to change your relationships and life around.
1. People Avoid You In Social Settings
If you find people moving away from you or avoiding you during social settings, then there is a high chance that you are socially awkward. People don’t feel comfortable around people who are awkward and lack social skills. It’s hard to have a conversation with them, understand what they are trying to convey, and feel at ease around them. This is true whether you are at work or in another social setting.
2. You Avoid People As Often As Possible
If you ever find yourself ducking behind something to hide from someone that you would have to chat with, or crossing the street to avoid someone, or quickly shutting the elevator so that you don’t have to talk to your co-worker, or cancelling plans where you will need to interact with people, then you are probably socially awkward. We avoid people because we feel uncomfortable at the thought of having to engage with them.
3. Dates Always Go Bad
If you find yourself offending or scaring off almost every date you have, then there is a high chance that you are doing things that are weird or looked down upon by someone who is looking for love. A lot of socially awkward people just don’t understand what other people are looking for or find unacceptable.
For instance, you could be talking over your date, ignoring their questions, saying offensive things, asking inappropriate questions, or acting in a manner that makes them think you are too needy or desperate. Without being there with you, it’s hard to tell exactly what you are doing wrong, but it’s easy to say that something is going wrong if all your dates never lead into anything else.
4. Romantic Relationships Don’t Last Long
You may find someone who can look past your awkwardness, but after a while, they start to grow tired of your inappropriate behavior or inability to be social and have a good time. They will probably tell you straight up during your relationship that they wish you were more social and outgoing. And, eventually, when things don’t change they leave.
5. You Don’t Have A Lot Of Friends
Friendships are hard for you. You don’t make friends easily and when you do, you often lose them because you are not willing to meet their friends or go out and do things with them. You would rather sit at home with them than go out, which is a friendship-killer because friends build experiences in life and bond over those experiences.
6. Your Self-Esteem Is Affected By How Others Treat You
You would think that an attitude of perfectionism would be a good thing for life. In theory, it should help you reach your goals and even surpass them. It should help you bring everything you want into your life. It should help you be happy, satisfied, and successful. But, I’ve found that living in a state of perfectionism actually does the opposite. It makes you downright miserable.
I don’t recommend you adopt a mentality of perfectionism in any area of your life. In fact, if I were to recommend one New Year’s goal to you, giving up on perfectionism would be it. Despite what your parents, friends, peers, or inner critic tells you, living for perfectionism is one of the worst ways to live.
Following are some of the ways perfectionism plays a negative role in your life. These are in no particular order as they are all equally detrimental to your happiness.
Perfectionism Causes Suffering
One study done in 2007 on Alaska suicides required friends and family members to describe their loved ones who had recently taken their own lives. According to 56% of the respondents, their loved ones were perfectionists. Furthermore, 25% of the respondents described them as strict or rigid.
Perfectionism is refusing to accept anything short of perfection in your life. It requires all of your attention on the matter or matters at hand. And because it requires all of your attention, you suffer in some way. Sometimes it’s obvious, and sometimes you just feel bad and can’t put your finger on it.
Perfectionism causes suffering because you will never be perfect and you will never accept that fact. You will constantly be reaching for something that you simply can’t reach and you will constantly be neglecting the things that truly matter – and truly make your life worth living – because of it.
Your relationships may suffer because you are too busy trying to be perfect, which causes you to suffer as you lose the comfort, support, and companionship that makes you feel so loved and important in life.
Your physical health may suffer if you are trying to accomplish something that requires a lot of mental power. You don’t have time to workout or look after yourself properly so your body starts to suffer and you lose much-needed energy and, in most cases, gain pain. Poor physical health makes it harder to do what you need to do and that causes mental anguish.
In fact, your mental health will almost definitely suffer in some way. You will beat yourself up when failures and setbacks happen. There is nobody who can make you feel as bad as YOU when you are not living up the perfection you are striving for!
In addition, you won’t take the time needed to rest your mind, stay present, meditate, and enjoy the moment, which will take away from your happiness. Remember, happiness doesn’t live in some moment in the future – it lives in the present when you are able to think and feel positively about what is happening.
In short, the next time you try to defend your need for perfectionism, ask yourself why you are defending suffering. Don’t be so quick to protect something that causes you suffering.
Perfectionism And A Happy And Fulfilling Life Will Never Go Together
If suffering is not painful enough for you, then maybe the idea of never really living life will be a deterrent to striving for perfectionism.
Life is full of flaws. It will never ever be perfect, so if you are demanding perfectionism in life, you will always be resisting life! You will always be working against life and living in some sort of fantasy world that you create for yourself.
Do you really want to spend your entire time on this planet not really living? Is that something you want to admit to yourself when you are about to die and reflect on what you did with your time? I’m willing to bet that you are shaking your head no right now, and I don’t blame you.
Life is for the living. And real living is all about going with the ups and downs because that’s a part of life.
A good and happy life comes to the people who are willing to change direction when need be because unexpected construction has blocked off a path or the road has just disappeared altogether. They don’t get upset. They just change direction.
It’s for the people who can accept that things don’t always work out the way they want it to and can bend and sway with the obstacles that come their way.
It’s for the people who understand that they simply don’t know where their next opportunity, relationship, or idea will come from and are able to keep their eyes open for those things rather than try to force something specific to come.
That last point is really important to remember. When you are focused on perfectionism, you are focused on a predetermined plan, and you can easily miss out on the random things in life that are not a part of that plan.
For instance, if you are focused on perfectionism, you may be focused on a specific type of person to be in a relationship with. You may have plans to marry that person, have two kids by the age of 30, and then have a perfectly happy life. But, if you try to make that plan happen exactly the way you envision it, you may miss out on a relationship that makes you happier than you’ve ever been before.
If you want to accomplish some big or unique things in life, you are probably creating or working on some goals. And if you are doing that, you are guaranteed to be met with a lot of naysayers as you create and work on those goals. They may be family, friends, co-workers, or strangers, but they will be there every step of the way to give you their pessimistic and negative views no matter how well things are going for you.
Some experts believe that humans are wired to be naysayers. And sometimes it can feel like there are more naysayers out there than there are optimistic people. But the fact is that there are plenty of us who see things in an optimistic light and believe that there are many things we and the world around us can accomplish.
Us go-getters who want more out of life still feel doubt, no matter how far we have come in our journey, and that doubt can be turned into downright fear that stops us in our tracks if we listen to the naysayers in our lives. Therefore it’s important to be able to move past their negative words and attitudes.
Changing Your Perception Of Naysayers With 9 Insights
I find that looking at people differently can help you move past the emotions they are causing you and get on with your life. When you stop seeing them as enemies out to bring you down and stop you from achieving your goals, you will have a much better time.
Remember, naysayers are not going anywhere, so you need to find a way to deal with them effectively. You can’t get rid of them. You can’t ignore them. And you can’t stoop to their level or YOU will be the one ruining your chances of achieving your goals. That’s why I truly believe changing your perception towards naysayers is one of the best ways to deal with them.
Following are 8 things you need to remember about the naysayers. These insights should help you see them in a different light. And when that happens, they will no longer have any power over you and what you are capable of accomplishing.
1. If Proved Wrong, They Will Still Be Naysayers
I know how badly you probably want to prove the naysayers wrong, but let me tell you something I wish I knew a long time ago – you can prove them wrong all you want, they are still going to be pessimistic. They probably aren’t going to stare at you wide-eyed and profess how right you are and how wrong they were. Instead, they are going to come up with new things to be pessimistic about.
For instance, a few people in my life told me that you can’t make money online when I first created an online business. I worked hard to prove them wrong. And, when I started making more than I did at the offline job I had previously to working online, I thought they would all admit that they were wrong and get just as excited as me for the next step. Instead, they admitted that I was lucky and it probably wouldn’t keep working out for me. They were still pessimistic, despite my proof of success and my solid plans to keep my online business growing, and they have never stopped finding something new to be pessimistic about even though I keep having more and more success.
When you understand that naysayers are not going to change, you can stop trying to prove them wrong or expecting something more positive out them. You can stop wasting energy on wanting them to validate you because you know that they will always find something new to be negative about. And, you can accept that they are who they are and stop looking for their approval before you make decisions or take the next step.
2. They Are Wrong Most Of The Time
Pessimistic people don’t see the potential in your goals. They lack hope in things working out well. They see tragedy and constant failure. And that is the basis for all their opinions and predictions.
Of course, life doesn’t always work out the way we plan. We fail. Unexpected things happen. But that doesn’t mean we are not going to achieve our goals. It just means we have to find a new way to achieve our goals. Optimistic people can see that, but naysayers view failure and obstacles as a dead end, which isn’t even close to the truth.
In addition, naysayers don’t understand what’s necessary to reach your personal goals. They haven’t thought about what you want and what you need to do to get there like you have. They haven’t tested certain ideas and had big insights on what is working and what is not like you have. They simply can’t understand all the little things that go into reaching your goals and what you are doing to make them happen, which is another reason they can’t possibly be right about whether or not you will succeed.
For instance, a friend of mine has become a very popular YouTuber. She has spent a lot of time learning about her audience and what they want to see. She has learned how they react to certain things and what videos end up doing the best for her, and all that information is a big factor in how she moves forward on YouTube. She is constantly increasing her viewer count, the activity she gets on her videos, and her income. And even with all of that, she still gets a lot of naysayers commenting on her videos and tell her how she is going to fail in her YouTuber career. They think they know everything about her business, but they don’t see what she does behind the scenes or have the insight that she has gathered over the years.
And this doesn’t just apply to regular goals and dreams that we have. Sometimes naysayers are wrong on a much more dramatic level.
For instance, I recently read a story about a young girl who was in a car crash and lost the use of her legs. The doctors said that she would never regain the use of her legs and the family needed to accept that. Many of the family members agreed and constantly told the girl and her mother that they needed to prepare for a life without her walking. The mother and the girl didn’t listen. They had hope that things could change and worked towards becoming mobile again. Eight years later that little girl is now in cheerleading. The naysayers got it wrong!
3. The More You Accomplish, The Louder They Will Get
If you are reading this, there are some things you really want out of life. You may not know exactly what they are yet, but you do know that you want them. You can feel a sense of longing for something more. But, the longing for something more isn’t going to get you what you want. Wishing for something more isn’t enough. That’s a very important truth that we all need to understand. While everything is made up of energy, and we can attract like energies to us, such as like-minded people, we still live in a physical world and life doesn’t work on wishes alone.
What You Want Is Out There
Your parents, peers, and fears tell you that it’s impossible to get everything you want. Is that true? Well, it depends on a few things.
That can be a true statement if you’re talking about something really far-fetched. For instance, if you want to quit your job and sit around all day and still have money coming in, a roof over your head, and food on the table, there is a good chance it’s not going to work out for you. That’s not typically how this world works. Or, if you want to date Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, there is a good chance that’s not going to happen either.
But, there are plenty of things that you can get.
– You can get the relationship you want.
– You can get the career you want.
– You can get the house you want.
– You can get the happiness you want.
There are plenty of things that we have some control over, and with the right choices and the right actions, you can definitely bring what you want into your life as long as what you want is grounded in reality.
Let me be clear, there are probably some things that you think could never happen for you that actually could happen. For instance, you may think becoming a millionaire is not a reality for you. But, that’s not true. With the right knowledge and action, everyone can be a millionaire. For some people, it may take more time, but the fact is that we can all get there.
Think of it this way – if someone else has achieved it, then you can too. You just need to figure out how to get on the right path, like they did, and you will find yourself moving towards what you want.
Be Good If You Want Good Things
I’m willing to bet that you want to get good things in your life. You want a loving relationship, financial abundance, happiness, good health, and peace. Allan Watts, a popular British philosopher, said that you always get what you want. He said that everything that comes to you is a return of what goes out of you. So make sure that you are putting good things out of you.
Don’t try to get what you want by hurting other people. Don’t cheat, lie, abuse, or misuse. You will only attract more of that energy to you. And you will only put yourself further away from what you want.
Don’t Listen To The People Who Tell You That You Can’t
There will be people in your life who will tell you that you can’t always get what you want. But instead of talking about dating Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, they will be talking about your dreams and goals that are totally doable. You need to remember they are telling you what they believe, and what they believe is a result of their life’s experiences.
The biggest reason Fred or Susan or whoever else in your life didn’t get what they wanted is because they were not willing to do what it takes to get what they wanted. They weren’t willing to go the extra mile. They weren’t willing to put in the extra hours, extra effort, extra time, extra money, or extra energy, and that is the only reason they didn’t get what they wanted. It wasn’t because they weren’t capable of getting it. It wasn’t because they weren’t lucky enough, smart enough, or talented enough. It was just because they were not willing to do what needed to be done.
Here’s How To Get What You Want In Life
Whether you know what you want or not, there are some steps to help you get moving in the right direction towards the life you really want. Don’t try to force yourself to know what you want first. You will discover it along the way. All you need to do right now is focus on doing the following things.
1. Stop Trying To Make Things Work A Certain Way
This is a very important tip on how to get what you want in life. If you don’t read or do anything else, make sure you understand this.
Do you feel like you never have enough energy to do what needs to be done? It takes energy to do what you need to do, but it takes much more energy to try to bend and conform things to your will. And that’s wasted energy because you simply can’t make things bend and conform to your will.
Not everything works out perfectly. Scheduled events get messed up. People don’t follow your expectations. And when that happens, you use even more energy worrying about it or being upset.
If you want to gain more energy to do what you need to do, then start going with the flow. This doesn’t mean that you let life push you around.
It means that you make plans without having strict expectations on how everything should go.
It means that you know setbacks may happen, and when they do, you artfully climb over and go around setbacks when they arise.
It means you stop trying to control how others act and focus on how you act instead.
If you want to be happier in any area of life, then you need to read this article. This is especially true if you don’t already work harder than most people to get the life you want – because if you don’t work harder than the average person, you are not going the extra mile and you are denying yourself the life you really want.
What does it mean to go the extra mile? It means to work hard, do what you need to do, and be consistent with your efforts.
For instance, if you want to be a millionaire, you need to be willing to go the extra mile. It’s not easy to become a millionaire. If it was, everyone would be doing it! You need to be willing to do the work. You need to be willing to invest in your education and learn what needs to be learned to earn money and then invest it to reach the kind of wealth that you want. You need to be willing to move past your fears and doubts and try new things that you think will help you move towards the wealth that you want to have.
Going the extra mile is not for the weak. It’s not for the people who are satisfied being where they are in life. It’s for the people who have dreams, want something better, and won’t take no for an answer.
It’s Time To Work Hard Right Now
If you want more out of life, it doesn’t matter what age you are or where you are in life, you can do what you need to do to have the success you want right now. It’s never too late to put in the work towards your desires and dreams. In fact, sometimes it pays to wait because you have more life experience that helps you keep doing the work you need to do consistently.
One of my closest friends is a great example of someone who recognized the value of going the extra mile later on in life. He’s always loved playing guitar and was in a few bands when he was younger, and it was a lot of work! Eventually, he decided that it wasn’t worth working so hard to possibly never get where he wanted to get, so he stopped playing, went to university, and became an accountant! Fast forward twenty years and he realized that it’s easy to give up and not work towards what you REALLY want, but it’s not rewarding. He hated his job and his life. He picked his guitar back up, recorded himself playing, put it up on YouTube, and is now working every day (in the hours after his accounting job) to make the dream of playing guitar for a living come true. He is willing to go the extra mile because he knows that choosing to not do what needs to be done is much more painful than working hard towards a goal that he’s passionate about.
Going The Extra Mile Makes The Difference Between Being Brilliant And Being Mediocre
Not everyone who puts in a lot of hard work is going to have the success they want. Sometimes things just don’t work out or can’t work out. But, the chances of success increase exponentially if you are willing to work hard and be consistent with your hard work when other people bail out or give up.
The other day I was watching a successful YouTuber named Trisha Paytas. She gets a lot of hate for a number of different reasons, including the fact that she makes so much money on YouTube.
The fact is that she is willing to go the extra mile for her success. She’s even told the people who complain about her success that if you want to do well, you need to stop wasting your time complaining about her and you need to be willing to work hard. Unfortunately, too many people are happier to complain than they are to go the extra mile for themselves.
If you ever find yourself being jealous of someone or complaining about how someone has all the luck that you don’t, ask yourself if they might just be putting in more work than you are. After all, as Fulton J. Sheen said, “Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius”. You may be putting in a mediocre amount of effort.
The fact is that you don’t have to settle for a life you don’t want. You can change things starting today. But, you have to be willing to go the extra mile.
Going The Extra Mile Boosts Your Self-Confidence
When you are willing to do the things you need to do, you like the person you see in the mirror more. Even if people are acting jealous of you (paying you tribute), you are fine with that because you know that you are someone who is doing everything they can to have the life you want.
The feeling of going to bed after a day of hard work is worth it. It makes you feel like you are doing something valuable in the life. This is a completely different feeling than the confusion, helplessness, and despair you feel when you let your life go by never really doing anything meaningful for yourself and your future.
When you start to feel that good about yourself, everything around you changes. Your relationships improve because when you respect yourself more, other people respect you more. Your health improves because you are happier and more willing to look after yourself. And your financial situation improves because doing what matters and feeling great about yourself will always help you find new avenues to make more money. And all of that gives you the drive you need to keep working hard and going the extra mile.
You Will Regret NOT Going The Extra Mile
Having a constant stream of negative thoughts is bad for your happiness and your health. Not only can they make you depressed, they can affect your immune system and hormonal balance. And the stress and anxiety that stems from negative thoughts, as well as the effect they have on sleep, can shorten your lifespan. In other words, it’s in your best interest to change your thoughts from negative ones to positive ones as quickly and often as possible. With the right tools in your pocket, it becomes much easier to change your thoughts.
Following are 10 different tools you can pull from when you want to change your thoughts. You may find one that works all the time, or you may need to pick and choose depending on where you are and what you are thinking about. But, I guarantee that if you make the effort to use one of the 10 tools, you will find a way out of your negative thoughts quickly.
1. Shift Your Focus Behind Your Eyes
Sometimes we get lost in our negative thoughts and before we know it we are stuck in a stampede of negative thoughts that won’t let us get up or get out. When this happens, it’s important to call your attention back to your body and tune into your awareness so that you can get out of your head and stop thinking so much.
Many people recommend that you pay attention to your breath to call your awareness back to your body and get out of your thoughts, but Jeffery Allen has a unique way that I find extremely helpful. Be present behind your eyes. Really, being present behind your eyes is all about focusing on what’s going on here and now. You can do this right now.
Find something or someone not too far away to focus on. Feel the presence and awareness that you feel behind your eyes as you focus on this object or person. Now close your eyes and keep that presence and awareness behind your eyes. Open your eyes back up and instantly refocus on what or who you were focused on before you closed your eyes. This simple exercise will help you bring your focus to the present and get out of your negative thought cycle.
2. Connect To The Earth
This is tool can help you feel more grounded, which is great when you feel ungrounded in a negative thought cycle. But, it goes beyond getting you out of your negative thoughts. It helps you feel more centered at every moment as you go throughout your day. You feel more relaxed, conscious, present, and engaged in your life, and that naturally leads to more positive thoughts.
To do this, imagine a bright, white, and loving light pouring into the top of your head and running down your body. As it fills you up, you feel warmer and happier. Once you are filled up, imagine that from the base of your spine, you start to grow roots with this light. These roots grow all the way down to the center of the earth, and they make you feel stable, strong, and connected, just like a tree’s roots would make you feel. As you get up and move around throughout your day, these roots will stay strong and you will stay connected to the earth at all times.
You should notice a difference in awareness right away with this exercise. You should feel more powerful than you do when you are lost in your thoughts. You should feel more present and aware of what’s really happening around you. And you should feel more in control of what you are focused on and thinking about.
3. Visualize The Positive Scenario
This is a great tool to help you change your thoughts from positive to negative, and it works quickly. All you need to do is stop visualizing the negative scenario and start visualizing the positive one.
For instance, if someone just broke up with you, then you may be visualizing your future alone. Now’s the time to visualize something better, such as you being strong and powerful and having a great time as you hang out with friends not worrying about being accountable to someone else.
If you can’t think of a positive scenario to visualize, just visualize the opposite of what you are thinking. So, if you are visualizing destruction, visualize creating something positive instead. Or if you are visualizing people being unhappy, visualize them happy instead. You will find that your thoughts will start to focus on more positive things as you do this.
4. Turn Off The Negative External Noise