Category Archives for "Love and Relationships"
Cuddling is a universal way of showing affection. It doesn’t matter if it is a person, animal, or an object like a teddy bear or blanket, cuddling is definitely the best way to say I care about you, I want to be close to you, and I accept you in my space. We cuddle into our friends when we are happy and celebrating. We cuddle with our partners when we are in love. We cuddle our family members when we need comfort or are going through tough times. And we will take a cuddle from any person or animal when we are feeling down. Cuddling is absolutely the best way to feel better, and we all crave a good cuddle now and then. Following are some cuddle facts to increase your cuddling knowledge.
1. There Is No Right Length Of Time To Get The Benefits
Cuddling for a few minutes can be just as satisfying as cuddling for hours on a lazy Sunday. You don’t need to make cuddling a strict procedure that has to be done at a certain time in a certain way on a certain day. Cuddle when you feel like it, and you will still get all of the benefits that we know about cuddling.
However, that said, if you don’t cuddle at all, then you are not going to get the benefits, and you don’t want to miss out on the benefits. The proven benefits of cuddling include more overall happiness in life, reduced stress, lower blood pressure, improved sleep, strengthened immune system, and a relief from pain, to name just a few. Therefore, if you do not have a person to cuddle in your life, make sure you find some time to cuddle an animal whenever you can. The benefits are still there!
As an extra note, it seems that animals need to be cuddled too. They do it with their mother, their siblings, and with their owners if they let them. Without the close contact, they can get depressed and feel stressed out. So, while there is no length of time to cuddle your pet for the benefits either, please make sure you at least take some time to do it!
2. Cuddling Your Partner Can Help Improve Your Sex Life
If you are not in the mood for sex, and you haven’t been in the mood for a while, try some sensual cuddling. When you cuddle, dopamine is released, and that is a hormone that can help increase sexual desire. And, when you add the element of physical touch felt from head to toe, in an embrace that feels an awful lot like being sexual, it can increase the desire to have sex in both of you. That desire can lead to the act of sex, or at the very least, the desire to have sex sometime soon.
You don’t have to face each other to get the benefits of cuddling for an improved sex life. Get into a spoon position and let your bodies’ line up perfectly as they are totally capable of doing. You can also face each other and wrap your legs around each other like you used to do when you were making out. Instead of kissing, though, enjoy the sensation of your partner’s breath on your head, chest, or face. Let yourself be mindful and present with your partner and enjoy the feeling of being close to them, without thoughts, judgments, anger, or other negative emotions. You may find your bodies rocking in an intimate rhythm that is extremely arousing.
3. Cuddling With Your Ex Won’t Solve Things
As powerful as cuddling is for two people in love, it doesn’t seem to be as powerful for people who have fallen out of love. Even though cuddling does release hormones that make you feel good and increase your sexual desire, it’s not going to be a magic tool to win back your ex if those lovey-dovey feelings aren’t there anymore.
There is a great video from BuzzFeed where exes cuddle again for the first time in years. In the video, you can tell that they are feeling awkward about the situation and are kind of annoyed with each other. In the end, it’s obvious that the cuddle session was more awkward and annoying than it was something that was drawing them back together.
I was listening to a professional cuddler talk – one of those people that you can cuddle at a cuddle cafe (see below), and she said that a good cuddler is one that is full of unconditional love and shows affection to human beings. Perhaps this is why cuddling with your ex is such a bad idea! You don’t feel the unconditional love; instead, you feel all the tension from the things that went wrong. And you don’t feel like showing them affection, especially if they hurt you in some way.
4. Some People Don’t Like Cuddling And Some People Even Dread It
Even though we know that all babies enjoy being cuddled by their mothers and other people, as it helps in the bonding process and makes them feel safe, not all adults seem to like cuddling. Some people find it too hot. Some people find it annoying and a disruption of their space. Some people find it too much of an emotional connection. And some people find it downright terrifying.
For example, some people have a fear of touching or being touched, called Haphephobia. The chances of being in a relationship with someone who has this fear is slim since they would not like to have you in their space at all, and usually the fear includes the fear of sexual assault.
While I can’t find an actual name for the fear of cuddling, I have found people online who talk about their fear of cuddling. Some people have mentioned their inability to breathe while being cuddled while others have mentioned their intense desire get away from the cuddling altogether.
So, if someone you want to cuddle doesn’t want to cuddle you back, don’t take offense. It just may not be their thing.
5. If You Are Struggling With The Fear Of Death, Cuddling Could Help
Not all phobias are made worse by cuddling. In fact, a series of studies published in Psychological Science found that touching an inanimate object can have a huge influence over existential fears, such as fear of death. This includes cuddling a teddy bear. The researchers believed that touch in this way could help to treat low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety.
Perhaps this is why we grab onto something when we are scared. It doesn’t matter if it is a person, animal, or a tree, we tend to reach out and hold onto something until the fear goes away. We seem to need the comfort of something else to help us get out of our mind and feel better.
6. There Are Many Different Ways To Cuddle
Of course, there is the big and little spoon, where one person comes in behind the other, and they both tuck their knees up and line up perfectly together. But, there are many other ways to cuddle as well.
If you are in a marriage where the sex has disappeared, you may feel like you are facing a marital problem that other people don’t seem to have. But, the fact is that people don’t openly talk about the lack of sex in their marriage, so it’s really hard to tell how happy other people are with their sex life. Psychologists estimate that millions of couples are currently in a marriage where sex is no longer a big part. In fact, they think that up to 20 percent of married couples are in one. A sexless marriage can be a marriage with no sex at all, but, in definition, it means that sex is occurring less than 10 times a year. So, if you are averaging once every month and a half or so, then you are in a sexless marriage.
A sexless marriage does not necessarily mean a bad marriage. As long as both people in the marriage agree that they don’t want or need sex, for whatever reason, the marriage can be happy. But, when the lack of sex is an issue for at least one person in the marriage, it can be devastating to its health and happiness. Anger, jealousy, frustration, depression and other negative emotions about the lack of sex can leak into other aspects of the marriage and demolish trust, communication, and overall satisfaction. And, if someone feels they need sex, but can’t get it from their spouse, they may look elsewhere.
How A Sexless Marriage Develops
Chances are when you got married, you had sex a lot. If you didn’t, then it is important to talk to a professional to find out what is holding you back from engaging in the intimate relationship that you deserve. Maybe it’s fear or lack of confidence, but that needs to be worked through to give your marriage a chance at building a healthy sex life.
For most people, though, a sexless marriage developed over time. The marriage started out hot and heavy and then sex became less of a priority and other things, like sleep, kids, or work, became more of a priority. There are some stages that every sexless marriage goes through.
The first stage is realizing that your sex life has started to dwindle. You can clearly see that you are not having sex very often, you want to have sex, and you express your concern to your spouse – possibly withholding all the details. You try to discuss the issue, look for a solution, and agree upon some plan of action that will help you get sex back into your marriage. Then, you try to take action on that plan for a few days, or maybe even a few weeks, but, eventually, you fall back into a relationship where sex is limited.
The second stage is realizing that despite your desire to get more sex in your marriage, you are not succeeding. All your plans to create a more intimate marriage have crashed and burned, even though you would still like to fix the issue on some level. You may have even become too comfortable with the lack of sex, and you may feel like you can fix it ‘tomorrow’ instead of today, but ‘tomorrow’ never comes. This is a long phase that can last years and years. You have the ability to fix the intimate part of your marriage, but for whatever reason you and your spouse keep putting it off and off and off, and you are essentially leaving it as a low priority task on your to-do list. But, if you don’t fix the problem in this phase, then you will move into the next phase.
The last stage is where major problems are happening in the marriage because of the lack of sex. You may experience an affair in the marriage. You may start to argue more. You may start to view your spouse as a roommate more than you do a lover. You may not even be willing to work on fixing the marriage at this point because you have just given up. This isn’t necessarily the end of your relationship, but if you don’t take the time to really address the issues in your marriage and make fixing them your priority, then your marriage will end up broken.
Why Are You Really In A Sexless Marriage?
It’s important to look past the sex and figure out what is the root cause of your sexless marriage. It’s not just about sex. It’s about something else that is holding you or your spouse back from having the intimacy that you want, and once you figure out what it is and find a solution for it, you will have a much easier time fixing the problem.
Women and men often have very different reasons for not wanting sex in the marriage. This is not a hard and fast rule, but knowing the general reasons may give you some indication as to why you are in a sexless marriage if you can’t see why right now. This is especially true if your spouse is the one who is limiting sex in the marriage.
For a man, the reasons generally look like this:
– Spouse does not have the type of sex that he wants to have
– Spouse doesn’t enjoy sex with him or puts him down during sex
– He doesn’t have any attraction towards spouse anymore because of change in appearance or attitude or something else
– He is experiencing erectile dysfunction and doesn’t want to admit it to his spouse
– He no longer wants to be in the marriage
– He is dealing with depression or some other mental issue that is sucking out the desire for intimacy
– He is dealing with a physical issue that is affecting his desire for sex
– He is getting his physical needs met elsewhere
For a woman, the reasons may not be that different than above for the man, with the exception of the erectile dysfunction. However, there are other reasons that a woman may be avoiding sex in the marriage, including:
No marriage is perfect, and all have ups and downs. But, sometimes those downs can be really down, and if you don’t do something to fix your marriage, then you are going to end up in divorce. If you don’t want to end up there, even a little, then you need to do something to save your marriage.
Following are some facts on how to save a marriage that may be just what you need to hear right now. These are truths that everyone needs to remember as they work towards saving their marriage. Think about this: one insight may be all you need to work things out and get back on track in your marriage, so if you are having marital problems of any kind, read all of the following facts.
1. The Littlest Change Can Make The Biggest Difference
Nobody likes change. It’s hard to do. It’s uncomfortable. It requires that you do things you don’t want to do. But, when it comes to how to save a marriage, change is necessary. If you don’t take some sort of action towards changing the dynamics in your marriage, then things are going to stay exactly how they are now and, even, get worse.
This doesn’t mean you need to change everything about yourself and your marriage in order to get a positive result. Sometimes it is something that seems so tiny that it wouldn’t make a difference, but it does, such as being kinder or changing one small habit. Sometimes the littlest changes can have the biggest impact, so don’t knock out any idea that comes across the table for fixing the marriage.
2. Your Routine Matters
In a marriage, you fall into a routine. That routine can become so comfortable, and so deadly. Your routines in life dictate how happy and healthy you are. For instance, your morning routine can set you up for a positive day if you do positive things. If you spend some quiet time organizing your day, you can be more productive. If you spend some time exercising, you can have more energy. And, if you spend some time talking to your spouse, you can feel more connected to them.
How is your routine with your spouse? Are you taking some time to focus on your marriage morning, noon, or night? Are you even taking some time to focus on your marriage at all in your daily routine? If not, you need to shift your routine to add things that make a difference to your marriage, such as spending quality time together, being intimate, or taking on projects together.
Of course, because you both probably have slightly different routines in your day, you are going to have to compromise and find things that you can add to both of your routines, but the payoff is worth it! It just may be the things that saves your marriage!
3. Your Perspective Matters
Your attitude towards yourself, your partner, and even marriage makes a big difference in how you act in your marriage and how happy it is. If your perspective is even slightly negative, then you can have an extremely negative impact on your marriage.
For instance, if you believe your partner is not as smart as you, then you will not act on his or her suggestions, requests, or needs. You know better than them, because you are smarter, so in the end, your ideas are what matter most to you. If that’s the case, your marriage is going to go downhill fast!
The bottom line is that you need to have a positive attitude about yourself in the relationship, your partner, and marriage. If you are being negative about any one of those things, then there will be problems in the marriage, so tweaking those perspectives can make a huge difference.
4. You Can’t Be Boring!
Do you go to the same places each weekend? Do you do the same thing for date night? Do you do the same thing every night? If you are boring together, then you can’t be anything but bored! And, being bored is not going to give you a new perspective on each other that will help you get things back on track.
Marriage problems are common, and they take down many couples who would have otherwise had a long and happy life together. If you are having problems in your marriage right now, you need to know that most of the causes are solvable. They require effort, but happily married people are healthier, happier, and live longer, which is a huge reason that you should strive to fix the issues behind the problems when they arise. Following are 9 common causes of marriage problems, and some suggestions on how to fix them.
1. Lack Of Sex
A sexless marriage is defined as having sex less than 10 times per year. If you are in that boat, then you are not alone. Millions of people are living in a sexless marriage, and it is causing all kinds of problems in their marriage. It reduces connection, trust, and attraction, and it can be the death of a marriage if it is left untreated. Thankfully, there are a lot of things you can do to get back on track. And, often it just takes a shift in perspective or routine to get things back on track.
– Seek out a sex therapist to figure out what is going wrong and how you can fix it.
– Communicate with your partner about sex and how to create a more intimate relationship.
– Become more willing to experiment in the bedroom and fulfill your partner’s fantasies.
– Seek help from a doctor to discuss a lack of sex drive to rule out a medical condition.
– Commit to having sex more. Sometimes other things become more important, and sex can be put on the back burner without a commitment to do it.
Whatever it takes, do what you need to do. Fixing your intimacy problems can help keep you connected in your marriage and make working through all other marriage problems easier.
2. Disliking Change In Appearance
Who we marry doesn’t always look the same a few years after the wedding. Weight gain, age, and illness can all cause someone to look differently than they did, and for some people that is a problem. Some people want their spouse to stay the same forever and don’t understand that people change on the outside, no matter how much they work at looking youthful or healthy. This is definitely solvable, but it requires true love.
When you really love someone, it doesn’t matter how they change, you still love them. You are still attracted to their personality, committed to them, and love those qualities that drew you to them in the first place. It’s important to remind yourself of who they are, not what they looked like.
If you can’t accept the change, this will be a marriage problem that you will not be able to overcome because they are never going to stop changing or live up to who they were physically when you first got married. Change will always happen in the body. Accepting that is key.
3. Having Some Different Interests
You may have started out with the same interests, but as time passes on, you have gone down different paths. This can create tension when it comes to doing things with your spare time or money. It can cause conflict when beliefs start to collide about things such as happiness, health, or spirituality.
The truth is that we don’t like it when people are different than us, and when our spouse starts to become different than us, we really want them to see the error of their ways. But, that’s the thing, it is not an error!
Just as appearance will never stay the same, interests won’t either. As we grow, we learn new things about ourselves and the world around us, and we apply what we learn in our lives, which changes our outlook on life as we go. Accepting that your spouse is changing, and having them accept you for your changes, is important.
One way to do this is to get interested in your spouse. Get interested in their point of view and get excited about learning how they see things. Get excited about what they are doing. Allow them to pursue their own interests, while you pursue yours, and then come back together at the end of the day to share, learn, and grow. When you have that kind of attitude towards them and their uniqueness, you will never resent who they are becoming because they will be the neatest person in the world to you.
4. Different Money Habits
Men who are single and looking have a lot of things that they wish women knew. A friend of mine hears about it all the time on his relationship blog, and he wants to share with you the top things that get talked about over and over again by really good men who are single and looking. If you want a good man in your life, these are things you need to know! They will help you understand where good men are coming from and how you can win them over. Following are 11 things that good men wish women knew.
1. We Don’t Know What The Hell We Are Doing Wrong When Flirting
When good men flirt with you, our intention is to win you over. We are not trying to annoy you, frustrate you, or tick you off. We are simply trying to make it clear that we think you are interesting and would like to get to know you better. So, please don’t treat us like we are idiotic because we can’t read your mind and figure out exactly how you prefer to be flirted with. We are trying our best and you don’t need to be a complete jerk to us.
If you want to help, let good men know why their flirting isn’t working for you or how they can really get your attention. At the very least, they can move forward with that knowledge and flirt better with other women. And, at the most, you may find that they are pretty decent guys who you actually would want to get to know better – despite their inability to seduce you instantly.
2. We Are Not Sure If We Should Be Good Or Bad
Men wish women knew that good guys want to be good. We respect women and want to treat them with the respect that they deserve. But, in our eyes, all women are attracted to the bad guys, so it becomes confusing on how we are supposed to act if we actually want to pick up a woman!
This is why so many good guys come across as untrustworthy. They are pretending to be someone they are not in hopes that it will attract women. Unfortunately, it just repels women because something seems off with them, and often times their behavior is way too awkward.
How can you spot us good guys struggling with how they should act? The jerks out there won’t be awkward. They are naturally bad to the bone and have no problems being jerks. But, the good guys will have a weird aura about them, and they will feel less natural in their approach, body language, and conversation.
If you really want a good guy in your life who treats you with respect, give those awkward guys a chance. Recognize when they are trying to pretend to be someone they think you want to see, and then let them know that it is alright to be themselves – whoever they are, because you are looking for someone who is good, honest, and doesn’t hurt you.
3. We Are Told To Be Assertive
This is another one of those pieces of advice that land a lot of guys in trouble. We are told to be assertive because that is a manly thing to do and women are attracted to it, but if we do not know how to be assertive without crossing a line, then we come across and rude or arrogant, which scares women away. But, we watch other guys who are naturally assertive win over woman after woman after woman as we scare all of those same women away. It’s extremely frustrating for us good men, but we don’t know what else to do.
How can you tell when a good guy is trying to be assertive and failing? Instead of shunning a guy because he is too aggressive, let him know that the aggression is not winning you over. A really good guy will apologize for being like that and show you who he really is while a really bad guy will give you the finger and walk away.
4. The Rejection Is Making Us Bitter
Many women think that a lot of good guys are jerks and angry towards women, but what good men wish women knew is that many men are just reaching the point of being insanely upset that they can’t find someone to enjoy their life with. We have had the best intentions, but after so many rejections, bitterness can start to set in. That can make us start to talk bad about women, avoid women, take things really personally, and be much more negative than positive. Yet, we still want a woman, so we still try to pick you up, and all this bitterness can come spilling out.
A can do attitude is obviously beneficial for success in life. The famous quote by Henry Ford that says, “Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right,” applies here. If you have a can do attitude, then you are going to do things that increase your success rate, such as take massive action and keep going despite setbacks. If you have a cannot do attitude, then you are going to do things that sabotage your success rate, such as give up or procrastinate.
Having a can do attitude can help you have success in every area of life, including mending a broken heart. Some people believe that they will never get over the hurt and hold on to that hurt for months, years, or even their entire life! They let it affect their quality of life as well as their future relationships in a big way. They cannot go on the way they were before, and so their life takes a turn for the worse. If you want to avoid that, then a can do attitude is your answer. It will help you mend a broken heart quicker and more thoroughly. Following are 10 ways that it will help do that.
1. Doing Is Important After Your Heart Is Broken
What separates the dreamers from the doers? A can do attitude! The dreamers get started on their path to recovery, but they question themselves so much that they eventually revert back to their old feelings. The doers get started on their recovery and keep going despite the discomfort that comes their way, such as running into the person who broke their heart or finding out that person has gotten into another relationship.
You have to get busy after a breakup, so you don’t get stuck dreaming about the past, the loss, and what could have been. If you get stuck in that realm, you will beat yourself up and relive the broken heart over and over again. Getting busy will help you carve out a new path and focus on that path in life. It will help you let go of the feeling or belief that you were meant to be together and show you that life is just fine without that person in it anymore.
Can do people are willing to do things that matter. They adjust to change better, and they are willing to make the effort to move forward. They don’t wait around for someone to help them get started on recovery, they take action to move forward and create a life that they want.
2. It Will Help You Avoid Bitterness
After you have your heart broken, there is a stage where bitterness can set in if you are harboring negative emotions. This stage can cause you to do crazy things. I once had an ex steal my car and rip apart a diary that I had kept since a kid. I’ve seen people smash furniture, harass their ex, sabotage their relationships, and do all kinds of horrible things expecting that it was going to help them feel better… but it didn’t. That bitterness doesn’t go away until you develop a more positive and optimistic view on your life.
A can do attitude is necessary to let go of the bitterness and move on to bigger and better things. When you are stuck in an attitude where you can’t move forward, your energy, both mental and physical energy, will go towards your ex and how you can make them pay or hurt just like you are. Having an attitude that you can move forward will help you avoid holding on to those negative feelings.
Also, can do people tend to see other people’s points of view more realistically. Instead of not knowing why they had their heart broken, they tend to see it all very clearly from their point of view and their ex’s point of view, which helps them get out of a state of ‘why’ and ‘what should I do’ to a state where they just move on and do better from their lessons learned.
3. People Want To Be Around People With A Can Do Attitude
Other people are going to help you get out of your head and maintain a positive attitude. They are essential for mending a broken heart because they offer different perceptions that allow you to see things differently and feel different.
If you want to meet new people and maintain some healthy relationships after a broken heart, then you need to maintain a can do attitude. If you are stuck in a place where you cannot show love, accept love, or be happy, then you are going to affect your relationships negatively. You are going to want to isolate yourself, which will put a big wedge in your relationships. And if you do get up and go out, the people who are trying to help you recover will be treated poorly. And, the people who come into your life and offer you new relationships and opportunities will be pushed away.
But, if you can maintain a can do attitude, the opposite will happen. People will respect you for being so strong during a time that many people fall apart and complain and whine and mope around. They will enjoy being around because positive people are just more fun to be around. New people who come into your life will appreciate your willingness to tackle new situations and try new things. You will be forming and maintaining your relationships with ease when you are a can do person
4. It Will Help You Avoid Cutting Out Opportunities For Love
I was listening to a guy talk about his breakup today, and he said that he was never going to allow himself to get that close to someone again. Now, I could understand if this was a few days after his breakup and he was processing his feelings, but this breakup happened a year ago. He had been holding on to that hurt for so long and developed an attitude where he fully believed that was not going to be able to get close to someone again because he didn’t want to get hurt again.
A boring relationship that goes unfixed can result in a breakup. We don’t tend to stay in situations that bore us for too long, because life is much more fun and rewarding when we feel excited and stimulated. A relationship, where we spend a lot of time with someone in everyday situations, needs to be fun and rewarding in order to make us happy and fulfilled. Following are some crucial tips on how to fix a boring relationship that you can use in your relationship starting today.
1. A Unique Date Night Is A Must
This is one of the tips that you will find in almost any article on how to fix a boring relationship. It is that important.
You have to start going on dates again. But, not just any dates. Remember when you first got together and all dates felt new and exciting? After a while, though, going to the same restaurant felt more like a comfort thing than it did an exciting thing. That’s when things can get boring. Therefore, you need to make date night something unique and exciting as often as possible to keep the thrill up.
If you haven’t gone on a date in a while, then start off by going someone comfortable and memorable to the two of you. This will give you a reconnect that you probably really need. But, after that, schedule in dates that excite you.
To make it fair, make sure that you each write down potential date ideas on a little piece of paper. Then, put those ideas in a jar and pull one idea every time it is date night. That will maintain a level of excitement and surprise, and ensure that you are doing things that at least one of you really wants to try out.
Just don’t put down any of your partner’s ideas that don’t thrill you, or your unique date night venture will come to a halt because of hurt feelings and anger. When that happens, you won’t be able to start it back up again without a lot of convincing and effort. View each date night as having potential, and then go from there.
2. Fix Your Perception Of Your Partner And Your Relationship
Often the way we look at things causes us to feel one way or the other, and a simple change in mindset can help us feel completely different. In your relationship, you may view your partner in a way that makes him or her look completely boring to you. Or, you may look at your relationship as boring compared to other people’s relationships that you see around you. Of course your relationship is going to be boring when you view it as such.
Following is a trick that may help you change your perception. This is a very real situation that many people I know have had to face without using their imagination.
Imagine that your partner has been diagnosed with a chronic illness. All those little annoyances that you had before will melt away as you realize just how important your partner is in your life and how unhappy you would be if you lost them.
Now, list off the reasons you would be unhappy without your partner if that illness got the better of them. What would you miss about them? What would you miss about your relationship? These are the things that make your relationship unique and interesting.
You will find that there are many things that you cherish about your partner, but you will also discover that your partner makes your life more fun and exciting in many different ways. Those are the things you want to focus on when you think about your partner. Those things will help you feel like your partner and your relationship is much less boring that you thought.
3. Celebrate Each Other’s Uniqueness
How can you get bored when you are around someone who sees the world differently than you and goes after different things in their life? Their unique outlook and approach to life should be exciting to you and help you grow as an individual and as a couple.
There are some men who seem to have it all when it comes to their love life. They have women who love them and are obviously proud of them and happy to be a part of their life. But, other men end up repulsing or pissing off the women they are with, and their women are constantly nagging them, rolling their eyes, and complaining.
For many men, it’s a mystery why some men are able to keep loving women in their lives. What makes a woman want to stay with a man? What makes a woman brag about her man to her friends and feel like the luckiest woman in the world? Or, at the very least, what makes a woman thankful that they she has the man she does? This article has the answers! Following are some of the top qualities in a man that makes him a man that no woman wants to lose.
A man who is obviously happy with himself is a man that all women are attracted to and want. It draws them in because he doesn’t seem needy, and it keeps them around because they don’t have to become his mother and take care of him; instead, they can just be his lover and enjoy being with a man who feels good about himself.
A man who is satisfied with himself is proud of himself and happy with the man he is. He doesn’t talk down about himself or constantly question himself because he is content with who he is and what he is doing in his life. This allows him to avoid complaining about himself or questioning himself constantly both in his personal life and in his relationship, which means that his woman is not constantly dealing with a man who needs to be reassured and coddled all the time – just like a child.
2. Drive To Succeed
A man who knows what he wants out of life and is willing to do what it takes is sexy and a keeper for all women. Women want a man who can take charge of his life and go after the kind of success he deserves. And they will gladly stand by their man as he goes after his dreams. It’s just sexy to have a man who is living his life to the fullest and doing what he can to make his dreams happen. Unfortunately, this kind of man is not easy to find these days.
The fact that many women are now bringing home a big portion of the income seems to have influenced men negatively. I know more men than ever who are giving up on their dreams and taking their spot on the couch instead. I even know many men who would rather be on assistance than go out and work in a job that they don’t find worthy of themselves. And, these are the men who take their toll on their women.
The women who have the go-getters know that they have every reason to be proud of their men. It’s one of the top qualities in a man that signifies everything is always going to work out just fine, not just when it comes to income, but when it comes to their relationship and their life in general. Because, if he has the drive to go after what he wants for his happiness and work success, then he has the ability to go after what he wants for his relationship success. A man who does what he has to do to make things work is a man that every woman wants!
3. The Ability To Listen
Women need their men to listen in order to feel valued and loved. When they have a man who could care less about what they are saying, it feels like they could care less about them as a partner. That’s why one of the top qualities in a man is being able to listen, show at least some interest while they do, and then recall things that their woman said later on.
You may think that you can get away with pretending to listen, but if your woman questions you later on, and you have no idea what she’s talking about, you will disappoint and hurt her. She will be unhappy and make you unhappy because she feels so bad.
It is a myth that men can’t listen well. We are all capable of listening in an effective way. It requires practice to listen well, and it demands being actively engaged with the person who is talking. In other words, you have the power to listen to your woman and make her feel like the most valuable person in your life by doing so.
Men who can listen and clarify what they don’t understand so that they do understand are highly valued by women. Every woman will brag about a man who listens and does his best to understand.
4. A Sense Of Humor
Life is more fun with a man who has a sense of humor. He can bring you up when you are feeling down and he can lighten the mood when things are getting tense.
Instant gratification has always been a thing that is possible, but thanks to the online world, instant gratification is more possible than ever. You don’t need to debate things anymore with others. You simply look it up on your phone with seconds and whoever is right gets the satisfaction of knowing it instantly. You don’t need to wait for a big opportunity to come for success. You can put yourself out there online and go viral to get noticed. You don’t need to wait to buy something you want. You can order it online and receive it within minutes if it is a digital service or the next day if it is a physical product. We live in a world where you can get almost anything you want when you want it and it’s hard not to need instant gratification in every area of life.
How Instant Gratification Is Ruining Your Relationships
When it comes to relationships, the need for instant gratification can be a very bad thing. Instead of focusing on the long-term value of a relationship, we focus on what we want, what we are getting or not getting, and where else we could get it. In other words, if we are expecting instant gratification, and someone is not fulfilling that need, then we simply move on to the next person to find that quick satisfaction we crave.
I’m not just talking about romantic relationships. Friends, family, co-workers and strangers who could have a big impact on our lives are all relationships that you could be ruining by needing to get what you want when you want it. So, let’s go through some different relationships and discuss how needing instant gratification is a bad thing and what you should expect instead.
Instant Gratification And Dating
You want to find the perfect person, and you want to find them now! That kind of mentality will cause you to do one of two things: become a serial dater because you never instantly meet the right person or you will get into a relationship with someone who isn’t good for you, but you will think you can make them the perfect person because you want a relationship now.
For example, if you want someone who is going to sweep you off your feet and want to move in with you within a week, then the chances that you are going to be disappointed over and over again are high. If they do not want to move that fast, then you will move on to the next person… and the next and the next. Alternatively, if you want to be in a relationship right now, then you could make the most imperfect person perfect in your eyes. You will ‘see the potential’ and try to convert them into what you want as you hold on to them for dear life because you want to be in a relationship so much that you can’t let them go!
Successful dating is for the patient people. Yes, you can swipe through a group of potential people and get instant gratification in that way, but when it comes to getting to know them and deciding whether or not they are a good fit for your life, that takes time.
The truth is that you can’t expect to find the perfect person right away and instantly get into a long-term relationship. You have to be willing to date, learn more about the people you date, and determine whether or not they are going to be a good match for you.
If you don’t have patience, then you will end up single or unhappy, which is more of a waste of time than waiting to find the person who actually is a good fit for you and then taking your time with them. But, if you do have patience, you will find that you end up getting into a serious relationship with someone who is actually good for you, and they may be the last person you ever have to date!
Instant Gratification And Long-Term Relationships
We get caught up in saying ‘I love you’ when we leave our partner, greet our partner, or when something really good happens. The words ‘I love you’ can lose their meaning when you are only using them in this way. Letting your partner know why you love them consistently in many different ways can do a lot of powerful things for your relationship.
– It can help them feel appreciated and show appreciation back.
– It can help them feel good about themselves when they are feeling down.
– It can remind them that they are in an awesome relationship and they need to take the time to slow down and appreciate it.
– It can make them feel lucky that you are the one they are in a relationship with and not some jerk who never shows their love.
– They recall your words at times they need to be reminded that they are loved.
There are so many benefits that it is a huge tool for creating a happier and healthier relationship. And, it is one you should definitely be using, no matter how long you have been together.
Not sure what to say? Not big on coming up with words that have a powerful impact on your partner? That’s why this article is here! Following are some ‘reasons why I love you’ that almost everyone will relate to. Alternate between these reasons, so that the words and the meaning stay strong and powerful when you say them to your partner. If you overuse one or two of them, your partner will not feel the value in them as much.
1. I Love You Because You Make Me Feel Good About Myself
Love really does give you wings. It makes you feel more confident, more in control, and stronger than you can feel when you are facing the world alone. When you know that you have a constant cheerleader on your side, you are more capable of going after your dreams and living the life you want.
Moreover, when someone is constantly reminding you of why they love you, it naturally feels good. You are appreciated and wanted, and that is something to feel highly grateful for! So, if they are reminding you of why they love you in any way, then make sure you tell them how much you appreciate them for making you feel good about yourself.
2. I Love You Because You Bring New Awareness To My Life
Everyone in this world is unique and can add new awareness to your life, but many people’s words and actions get drowned out as you move through the day concentrating on what you need to get done. Your partner’s don’t though. What they say and do can help you see things in a completely different light and affect how you act and what you believe.
It’s very interesting how our partner can sway us in all kinds of positive ways just by being themselves. That is definitely something to love about them. And, you should let them know how important they are in your life because of the awareness that they bring.
3. I Love You Because I Can Be Myself Around You
This is one of the top ‘reasons why I love you’ in my opinion. You can’t always be yourself around family or friends, and you definitely have to behave in a certain way around strangers, but around your partner, you can be as grumpy, happy, silly, or weird as you want. You don’t need to ask permission to be comfortable. You just do it. Make sure you let them know how much you appreciate the fact that you can be yourself around them.
4. I Love You Because You Help Me See Negative Things Differently
Your partner should normally be on your side in life, but they can definitely be the voice of reason that helps you get unstuck from negative thoughts and focused on something more positive. Often, during our darkest times, our partners are the only people around, which is why they are so crucial in our lives. We come home, feel horrible, and then they help us feel better about our day and ourselves, and that is something to love about them and being in a relationship.
5. I Love You Because I Can Always Talk To You
When you are in a relationship, you get to say every single thing that is on your mind, whether it is important or not! There is no one else in the world who would put up with constant texts about random things you are thinking or interruptions during their favorite show to let them know something that could probably wait.
Moreover, there is no one else you can admit the crazy things that you are thinking without being judged on a level that could potentially make you look really weird in their eyes. Even if your partner doesn’t always listen in the way you would want them to, at least you have someone that you can express the things that you really want to get out to.
6. I Love You Because You Understand Me