Category Archives for "Personal Development"
Here’s the situation: You decide that you want something amazing in your life, you get excited about it, you dream about it, you talk about it, and then after a few days the excitement starts to fade away. Then your mind comes up with justifications as to why you should keep doing what you are doing, and they make a lot of sense. And then, finally, you give up on that amazing thing you wanted.
Often years later you come back to that thing you wanted so badly and feel a twinge of regret for not going after it. Sometimes that twinge can get you to reignite the flame and start dreaming and talking about it again, but if your mind is in the same place, it will ultimately fade away again.
If you are anything like me, you don’t want to live with regret. You don’t want to wake up one day wishing you had gone after that amazing thing. You don’t want to wonder whether or not you could have achieved your biggest dreams in life. It’s a painful way to live, and the more life goes on, the more painful it seems to get.
That’s why you need to retrain your brain to help you get those amazing things. You need to help it stay focused on what you want and passionate about those big dreams you have. You also need to strengthen it and make it strong in the face of fear, failure, struggle or just plain boredom.
When you develop a brain that keeps working on achieving those amazing things you want, your chances of getting what you want will grow exponentially. You may not always end up getting exactly what you were going after, but you will get something similar or better.
For instance, you may not get that elephant you wanted as a pet, but you may be led to a horse that you couldn’t imagine life without.
Sometimes we don’t know what will make us happiest until we start traveling down the road towards what we want.
A Plan To Retrain Your Mind To Commit For The Long Haul
In this article, I’m going to use the example of wanting to travel in an RV full-time. It’s a big dream. The idea is a dream many people have as they think about a way to travel, explore, connect with nature, and get out of their mortgage and debt. It is easily let go, though. It can take some time to achieve, which requires endurance. And it is far from traditional, so keeping a passionate and focused mind around it is important.
But, this plan to retrain your mind will work for anything in your life, not just for retraining your mind to commit to your full-time RV lifestyle. When you get excited about something, use the following plan to help retrain your mind from its desire to let go of the notion to hold onto it and find ways to work towards it.
1. Write Down The ‘Whys’
First, before anything else, get out a piece of paper or large cardstock, or open up a Word document, and write down WHY you want to achieve that amazing thing in your life. The ‘why’ is what got you excited in the first place, so you will want to hold onto it.
It’s been proven over and over again that people who write down their dreams and goals are much more likely to transform what they want into reality. In fact, one study done by Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at the Dominican University of California, found that if you write down your dreams and goals you are 42% more likely to accomplish them. So that’s a good start to our plan!
You may think that holding onto the reasons why inside your mind is enough, but it’s not. Your mind is trained to give up and let go of an idea that’s too hard, so as it starts to think about reasons why you should let go of the dream, the ‘whys’ will start to dwindle until you can barely feel the excitement you felt in the first place.
BUT, when you write them down and look at them often, you reverberate the importance of achieving these goals to your mind. Your mind can’t just simply let go of the ideas on why you should go after your dreams. It’s forced to see those reasons day in and day out and ponder them over.
And the more your mind ponders them over, the more it becomes a part of your mind’s daily thoughts – or routine. Your mind finds reasons to hold onto those ‘whys’ and you find yourself constantly thinking about achieving those dreams you set out to achieve.
Even if you are not feeling a ton of excitement and passion like you did in the first place, you will still feel many moments of excitement and passion because your mind can’t forget those ‘whys’.
You can do this in any way you want. As long as you can see it and it excites you, it will work. Three big ways to write down your ‘whys’ are:
a) Create a list on a piece of paper. Write down each reason you want to achieve what you want to achieve. Make sure you are detailed about it.
– I want to travel full-time and experience everything this country has to offer. There are so many beautiful places around that I may not get to see otherwise.
– I want to spend more time with my family and less time in the office. Each hour gained with my family will add to my health and my happiness and quality of life.
– I want to spend less time cleaning and more time living! Those hours spent cleaning my big house could be used exploring with my family.
b) Get a big piece of cardstock, and along with your written out reasons, put up pictures that help you visualize your ‘whys’ better.
For example, you can add pictures that showcase exciting spots that you want to see across the country. Doing this will help drive home your ‘whys’ even more.
c) Create a new word document, write down your ‘whys’ and then add pictures in that document. You can find all kinds of pictures to paste into your document that will help emphasize your ‘whys’. Then either print it out or look at it daily on your computer.
2. Immerse Yourself In What You Want To Achieve
Your mind is affected by what it sees. And because the world seems to be a scary place where people focus on fear, the chances are good you will see a lot of things that make you fearful about going after your biggest dreams in life.
For instance, if you want to live full-time in an RV, you may see stories online about how hard it is or how many things there are to consider or how much work is required to get to that point. All of those negative things will make your mind question whether or not you can really do this. And, if the reasons why you can’t become too convincing, you will rip down your ‘whys’ and let your justifications take over.
That’s when you start to head down the road of regret!
Instead of letting that happen, immerse in what you want.
– Go to RV parks and talk to people who are traveling full-time.
– Watch people on YouTube who are living out their dreams of full-time RVing with their kids, pets, or just themselves.
– Read about how to make full-time RVing work for you.
– Read about people who have lived it and learn from their mistakes and successes.
– Immerse yourself into the world of RVs and traveling full-time and give your mind plenty of positives and hopeful thoughts so that it can stay on the right track as you move along.
Another advantage of immersing yourself in what you want to achieve is you start to build a mental plan on how to reach your dreams. This is because the more you learn about what you want, the more you know what you need to do to get there.
For instance, the more you learn about how to travel full-time in an RV, the more you learn about how much money you need to save and make so that you can travel full-time. That helps you figure out how much you need to save per month as part of your budget, or it encourages you to find a new job and make more money. And, once you start saving or making more money, your mind sees your dream as a much more realistic thing, which keeps it focused on going after it.
Lastly, immersing yourself in the world of where you want to be makes going after it less scary and improves the longevity of doing what needs to be done. You can see it’s possible to achieve, so you stay hopeful. Other people are doing it and having success. You can see what needs to be done to help you achieve success. And, your reality of what is possible shifts.
TD Jakes has one amazing thing to say after another. I’m not exaggerating. I can’t count the number of aha moments I’ve had while listening to him. While he is a pastor, you don’t need to be religious to benefit from his lessons. What he says makes sense for everyone who wants to become better and happier. His mission is helping people find their purpose and fulfill their destiny, and we can all benefit from that kind of person.
You can listen to TD Jakes in his sermons, during his guest appearances, and on YouTube, or you can read more by him on his blog. But, if you don’t have the time to do that, you will want to keep up with his Twitter account. You will find powerful bite-size advice on his Twitter that you can digest quickly and benefit from.
Let’s talk about some of the best of TD Jakes on Twitter from this year so far.
The Best Of TD Jakes On Twitter From January To April
Keep in mind that TD Jakes posts a few tweets per day, often quotes from his sermons, so you can check back often to see what he has to say during the day.
Best Of TD Jakes In January On Twitter
On the first day of January, T.D. Jakes tweeted out, “Selfish people cannot see beyond themselves! You are stuck because of what you “don’t care” about!”
For anyone who didn’t live up to their New Year’s resolutions, that tweet may be an eye-opener. When you are so focused on yourself, you don’t care about things outside of yourself, and that keeps you stuck.
For instance, if you are trying to advance your career, your focus on yourself may cause you to hurt other people along the way. When you do that, they will not help you or lift you up, and you will unintentionally be hurting your chances at an advancement. But, when you step out of a selfish mindset, you can see other people’s needs and desires, and you can help them achieve them. And, they, in turn, can help you achieve your needs and desires.
Another one of the best tweets from the first day of January was “People who live on Social Media, live on the mountains of life! How do you survive the valleys of life?”
This is something that we tend not to think about. Getting lost in social media means getting lost in ‘too good to be true’. Most people are sharing themselves in a positive light. Most people seem strong, without failure, and without troubles. But that’s not real life.
All of the people behind these accounts are struggling in different ways. They just aren’t sharing the low times, so you start to believe that all they experience is good times. When that happens, your own bad times seem extra bad. You start to question your life. Why am I the only one who has bad times? Why can’t I be as strong, lucky, and capable as the people you see on social media? Those questions will cause you to beat yourself up and struggle even more during the ‘valleys of life’.
TD Jakes is not saying that social media is a bad thing. Obviously, he uses social media to spread positive messages. He’s just saying that we need to realize that social media is not all it appears to be. Take everything with a grain of salt. Remember that everyone stands on mountains sometimes, but they also spend time moving through the valleys. With that awareness, your own life won’t seem so hard in compassion to the fabulous lives that people seem to have on social media.
Later in that week, TD Jakes tweeted out this – “Arguments don’t make life wonderful. Winning doesn’t make life wonderful. Love makes life wonderful.”
I think we all want to feel good during our day, and love is the key to doing so. Focusing on love instead of winning or being right is the best way to have a day that feels good and is full of pleasure. So, act with love, speak with love, make decisions based on love, talk about love, show love, spread love, and feel love for the most wonderful day (and life) you can have.
In the middle of January, TD Jakes tweeted, “I firmly believe that being in tune with your instinctive passions is a key factor success in this life.”
It’s interesting that he believes that. A lot of people in the self-improvement industry firmly believe that too. It’s an inspirational truth to help everyone see that they don’t need to do what is expected of them for their success. They need to follow their passions and do the things that they were drawn to do. I’ve found that the people who are most miserable and unsuccessful in life have let their passions die out and lost touch with their inner self and inner desires.
Later, he tweeted, “You have to have trust in order to receive favor!”
I love that tweet because it lines up with my beliefs in the law of attraction and getting what you want out of life. You need to ask for what you want in life, but you also have to trust that you are going to receive good things that you are hoping for. When you don’t, you stop what you want most from coming.
If you don’t trust that better times are coming, then you feel like life is never going to change and you stay focused on the bad things in life. When that happens, what do you see? Bad things! You see the failures. You see the letdowns. You see the misery. Your lack of trust keeps you from seeing the light and prevents you from grabbing a hold of it. And, when you can’t grab the light, you can’t ride it towards things that you want.
And at the end of January, he tweeted, “You don’t have to know everything to achieve your destiny.”
Again, I love that he focuses on destiny and living a life of passion. Too many people are taught to live a life that is expected of them and then they get stuck in an unhappy rut of doing things that they don’t want to do and living a life that is wasted on other people’s dreams. The fact that TD Jakes promotes living a full life is just one of the many reasons he’s someone I recommend listening to on a daily basis.
Best Of TD Jakes In February On Twitter
At the start of February, he tweeted, “My challenge to you today is to extend KINDNESS. You never know what a smile can do in the life of someone who needs it.”
Yes! That is the kind of man we need to have a huge influence over the world. Too many people in his position are promoting judgment. That doesn’t help create a better world. It only helps bring the world down further. Kindness, on the other hand, will create a more loving, compassion, and patient world that the next generation will enjoy living in.
In the middle of February, TD Jakes tweeted, “Hook up with people that want to see you advance!” and “Beware of ‘people pleasers’ – they’re the type that don’t stand for something, so they fall for anything!”
That is relationship advice you can use in your intimate relationships and work relationships to give you an advantage that other people don’t have.
The first tweet simply means that you should surround yourself with positive people who support you and lift you up, not drag you down. They are the people that will help you move forward towards the life you want. While people who want to destroy you can teach you more about your inner strength, they are too draining to be around often. The main people in your life should want to see you advance.
The second tweet will ring true for many people, especially most people who work with a lot of other people. There are always ‘people pleaser’ coworkers, and they are known to shift their opinions and behaviors like a feather in the wind. They don’t have their own beliefs and opinions, so they are easily swayed. That simply means they won’t have your back for long! They will agree with you and help you out one minute and then, if someone else convinces them to, they will stab you in the back just as easily. Remember, people who are too eager to please are not the type of people you want to trust with your happiness.
Another one of his best tweets is this – “You know you are walking in the newness of life by how you respond to old situations!”
For me, that hits home in a big way. I’ve noticed that I don’t respond to many things the way I used to. I don’t respond to negative people in the same way because I no longer take their negativity personally. I don’t respond to failure in the same way because I no longer view failure as a bad thing. I guess I’m walking in the newness of life!
How about you? Do you respond to things the same way you always have? Do you think you can’t change? If you do, you may want to reconsider! Life is always changing. You are always changing. It doesn’t matter where you are in life or what has happened, you have the potential to walk in the newness of life because you are capable of choice.
He also tweeted out, “The renewed mind is a process!”
That is something to remember during your struggles towards change. You can’t flip the switch one night and have a completely different life the next day. It’s a process.
– You need to collect new ideas.
– You need to start seeing things differently.
– You need to learn from other people.
– You need to practice what you learn.
All of that can take time. So, don’t rush the changes and focus on the end; instead, enjoy the process and capture every moment of your life!
And the last of the Best of TD Jakes for February is this – “What God has for you, is for YOU! The oil will not flow if it’s not meant for you!”
In other words, don’t try to live someone else’s life. Don’t try to get things that you know are not meant for you. Don’t try to live a life based on other people. If you want blessings, purpose, and success, stay true to your inner passions and do the things that YOU were put here to do. Celebrate your uniqueness. Embrace your unique talents. And, then watch the oil flow your way!
Best Of TD Jakes In March On Twitter
In the beginning of March, TD Jakes tweeted, “When God is fighting for you, He fights in ways you don’t even know how to use!”
That speaks to the unknown of life and how we may not always know how everything works, but that doesn’t mean we should deny it!
Jim Rohn was an amazing man. He was a motivational speaker, entrepreneur, and author, and he had a kind and easy way of talking and sharing his wisdom. But, if you never had an opportunity to attend one of his seminars or listen to one of his speeches, you can’t understand how powerful his advice was. I went through a few of the speeches by Jim Rohn and pulled out some bits of pure gold that could impact your life in a very positive way.
The Psychology Of Wealth Speech: What Jim Rohn’s Mentor Taught Him
In this speech, Jim Rohn talked about how he was forced to lie to a Girl Scout selling cookies because he couldn’t afford to buy them. Instead of telling her that he couldn’t afford them, he told her that he already had plenty of Girl Scout cookies in his home. He felt horrible about that and decided that he didn’t want to live like that anymore. Once he decided that, he met Earl Shoaff, an entrepreneur and motivational speaker who changed his life.
One of the things Jim mentions in this speech is that it seems when the student is ready the teacher will come. This is something really important to keep in mind. We need a teacher, or a mentor, to help us understand concepts that we don’t yet understand. So, if you are ready to grow in any area of your life, keep your eyes open for that teacher!
Jim found that Earl Shoaff put things so simply that you couldn’t help to understand them. For instance, when he asked Jim why he wasn’t making more money, Jim replied that his earnings were all the company could pay him. Earl said, “No, this is all the company is paying you. They pay out a lot more money over top of you.” He made it clear that the company had more money to pay and Jim didn’t need to work on the company, he needed to work on himself in order to make more money. In other words, he needed to focus on personal development.
He also taught Jim that some of the most valuable things are put on the highest shelf, and each book you read can be stood upon to help you get closer to reaching those things. This concept has changed the way I look at reading. Each book I read can be added to the stack I step on that helps me reach the life I want. So simple, but so obvious when you think about it.
And, Jim said in his speech that one of the biggest things Earl taught him was that ‘success is what you attract by the person you become’. In other words, you don’t just attract success by wishing for it. As you work on yourself, you grow into a smarter, more appealing, and more aware person, and it becomes easier to attract the people, situations, and experiences that you need for success.
He also talked about how profits are better than wages. He said, if you want to earn a living, then depend on wages. But, if you want to make a fortune, then depend on profits. And, if you think you can’t make profits while you make wages, then Earl will change your mind with this thought – ‘while you work on your wage full time, you can work on your profits part time’.
Lastly, Earl taught Jim that your income is related to your philosophy, not the economy. This is all about perception, and it’s so true. For instance, if you think you are not worthy of getting a raise, then you are not going to get a raise. You will do things to sabotage yourself, both consciously and unconsciously. What you think can happen will happen, so make sure your philosophy about yourself, your potential, and how much wealth can be created is high.
The Skills To Help You Get Out Of A Mediocre Life Speech: This Is The Stuff You NEED To Know!
This is one of the speeches by Jim Rohn from 1981. The advice was life-changing then and it still is. Following are a few of the key important points from this two hour speech.
Unless you change who you are, you will always have what you got. But, Jim says that the good news is you can have more than you got because you are capable of becoming more than you are. You are capable of growth. You are never stuck where you are because you can learn and use what you learn to reshape yourself and the world around you.
Also, get stronger and wiser from the disappointing times. You can’t get rid of them. They are going to come into your life. But you can change how you interact with them. As Earl taught him, ‘don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better’. So, instead of wishing for less challenges, wish for more wisdom!
Next, take advantage of the good times when everything is going right. The more you use the good times to set yourself up for the bad times, the better the bad times will be. For instance, if you are making a lot of money suddenly, invest your money, save your money, and use it for personal growth. Don’t spend it on stuff that doesn’t help you prepare for the bad times. Spend it on stuff that helps you have an easier time when the down times come. And we all know they will!
He also said to become like a child. Be curious. Get excited. Have faith. Have trust. All of these qualities are child-like qualities, but they are always traits that help us grow and find more success in life. When you are curious, you look for answers. When you are excited, you take action. When you have faith, you take leaps that you wouldn’t otherwise take. And when you have trust, you keep working towards things even if they haven’t shown up just yet.
How can you change anything in your life? Jim says that you need to become a good reader. He says that you can learn from your experiences, but reading helps you learn from other people’s experiences. That’s the key to getting out of a mediocre life faster. You can learn as you go, or you can learn as you go AND as other people go. This viewpoint has changed the way I look at books. They are not just full of information, they are full of failures and successes (lessons) that I may not have for years – or ever.
Next he talks about how we need to use what we got because whatever we don’t use, we lose. My grandparents were great examples of this. My grandfather used his brain every day. He worked through problems. He invented new things. He read. He debated. He pondered. His brain stayed strong until the end. My grandmother, on the other hand, watched soap operas all day. For the last ten years of her life, she struggled with things such as memory, awareness, and thinking. Now, there may have been other factors involved, but I’ve seen this truth time and time again. What you don’t use, you lose. So, what do you not want to lose? Your vitality, energy, mind, body, ambition, passion, or faith? Think about it.
Next he talks about whatever you sow, you shall reap. Yes, this is a quote from the bible, which, by the way, Jim said has a lot of good information in it for finding the success you want. This quote is a simple truth that we all need to understand if we want to move towards the life of our dreams. What we do today will produce the results of tomorrow. If we do nothing today, then nothing will happen tomorrow. But, if we grow, take action, and plant those seeds of success today, the rewards will come.
He also talks about developing reasons to find success in life. It doesn’t matter how much intelligence or knowledge you have, you won’t do what you need to do unless you have reasons. Your reasons may include being respected, feeling good, doing good, helping others, finding joy, feeling satisfied, having an exciting journey, supporting family, travelling, or spending time with family and friends.
Jim said that one of his reasons was the pain he felt about not being able to buy those Girl Scout cookies that we talked about earlier in this article. The bottom line is that your reasons will alter your whole life, so pay attention to them.
He also said that we need to develop some real goals. Jim said that some people develop lousy goals, such as wanting to make enough money to pay off a bill. While that is a goal, it’s a goal that results in a lousy effect. You will make enough money to pay off a bill, but that will be it. So, why not make bigger goals that are really worthwhile of your energy? (I talk about one of the speeches by Jim Rohn on goals soon in this article.)
Lastly, Jim said we need to develop the ability to ask. Jim said that if there was one art to learn well, the art of asking is it. Asking starts the process to receiving. The process is mental and emotional, and while he couldn’t explain how it works, he said it just does. You don’t need to know how it works, just take advantage of it. Ask with intelligence. And be clear and specific when you ask – don’t mumble, or you are not really asking for something.
How To Work Smarter Speech: Time Is Precious
This was one of the speeches by Jim Rohn in his later years. He began his speech talking about how it seems like we don’t have a lot of time in life. Even his 93 year old father didn’t seem to have enough time. This is something that most of us think about. Time goes so fast, and making the most of it seems to be a constant issue in life.
This speech was not about how to plan your day in terms of time. It was about how to make the most of your time today, tomorrow, and in your life.
One of the big points was his approaches to the management of time. He said to ignore the subject. I find that when we ignore the subject and just get into the flow, we use our time most wisely. We work. We do things that matter. And, we do it without interruption of worry, questioning, or other thoughts.
Jim also talked about how all life forms strive to their potential, with the expectation of human beings. Jim said this is because we’ve been given the ability to choose. We can do whatever we want. We can work on one plan and then develop a new plan. But, we still have the choice to strive to be all we were meant to be or settle.
For example, we can choose to learn as many languages as possible or choose to learn just one language. That’s why it’s important to choose to use your time to make the most of your life. Choose to do things that maximize your potential and you will be managing your time just fine.
Next Jim talked about the fact that if you don’t have time for the things that matter in life, you may want to consider doing something less intense. For example, if you are working too hard, and bringing your work home sacrificing time with your family, you may want to consider getting a job that demands less of your time. That way you can spend time with your family or doing hobbies or learning something new.
Jim also said something during this speech that we have all heard. Don’t work harder, work smarter. To me, this just means that we need to focus on the things that really matter and cut out the things that don’t. It also means tackling the big things first so that they get done before we get too tired, too unenthusiastic, or too bored to do them.
Next he talked about how we should use our time to work on developing our skills. Jim said that when we do that, we will eventually get more success with less effort. But, first we need to put in the time developing our skills so that we can get to a point where things require less effort and less time because we are so skilled!
Jim also said to take charge of your life, time, resources, health, etc. When you start something, you are in charge. Later, it’s in charge. So, you need to take back the leadership in your life and make sure things go the way you want them to go. Take it upon yourself to constantly work on your personal development, growth, and responsibilities.
When should you reach your goals? Jim said that ‘reasonable time’ is enough time. That’s a huge insight for most of us who are trying to get things done within a certain amount of time and stressing out about along the way. We even beat ourselves up when we don’t reach our goals within a time limit that we set forth.
What’s reasonable? He said that it’s not the hours you put in, it’s what you put into those hours. In the beginning, you may not have the skills that make your time really productive. But, when you have developed those skills, your productivity will flow and it will flow fast. So, the time it takes you to reach your goals depends on what you are trying to reach, the skills you need to reach it, and the time it takes those skills to make it happen.
I find a lot of successful bloggers I’ve talked to feel this way. They started their blog, developed their blogging skills, and once they had the skills, they started to see success faster than they had for months or years. And each blogger took a different amount of time to reach their goals. Some took only months, while others took over 5 years to finally develop the skills they needed to make their blog successful.
Lastly, Jim talked about setting goals. He said that setting goals is important to managing your time. Why? You have a direction. You know what skills you need to work on to get to the goal. You have a focus that brings inspiration into your life on what to do next. Having big goals in life will keep you focused and help you make the most of your life and your time. But, it’s important to have goals in all areas of your life so you don’t get too caught up in one area and forget to pay attention to other areas.
Setting Goals Speech: Creating The Life You Want
It’s been a while since The Art Of War by Sun Tzu was written, but the wisdom found inside are still truths today that you can apply to all aspects of life. If you have not read it yet, I highly recommend that you do. Until then, you can read reviews of it and articles on how the lessons apply to various areas of your life such as business and negotiation. But, the reason you need to read it for yourself is because the ideas inside can help you outside of the scope of business and negotiation.
For instance, if you want to improve your relationships and stop the conflict in them, The Art Of War can help you, and we will talk about how some of his strategic rules can do that in this article. I’m going to paraphrase a lot of what Sun Tzu says and change some words that he uses like ‘enemy’ and ‘battle’, which is not what relationships should be about – even the most negative relationships we have. So, let’s take a look at his advice that can help you with both intimate and non-intimate relationships.
Know Yourself And Your Partner
In The Art Of War by Sun Tzu, he made it clear that if you know yourself and your enemy, you don’t need to worry about having a hundred battles. He says that if you only know yourself, you will suffer a defeat for every victory you have. And, if you don’t know yourself nor your enemy, you will lose every battle you take on with them. This applies to your relationships in a big way!
You need to know both yourself and the other person if you want to stop fighting and start finding peace in your relationship. When you have awareness around yourself and your needs, you will be able to communicate better with other people about who you are and what you want, and they will have more of an understanding about where you are coming from. That will help them see your point of view clearer and stop a lot of the resistance that comes from not understanding each other.
When you take the time to understand other people, you start to understand their strengths and weaknesses. You understand their needs and how they view the world. You understand their belief systems. And you can work with that knowledge to come to a resolution that makes everyone happy.
But, when you have no self-awareness or awareness of other people’s feelings, beliefs, and thoughts, you will make choices based on instinct and reaction. You can’t make beneficial choices that benefit your relationship because you don’t know what will benefit your relationship. You don’t understand what you need or what they need, so you struggle and resist and fight and never find the peace that you want.
I’ve known a lot of people who operate from a lack of awareness in their relationships and are always in a constant state of struggle. Some of these people have been struggling for decades because they are simply unwilling to take the time to get to know themselves and other people.
If you find yourself struggling in your relationships, then self-awareness and general awareness of other people’s thoughts, feelings, and struggles, are two things you should be working on starting today. Speaking from experience, you will instantly find less struggle in your relationships and more peace.
Don’t Let Fights Go On And On And On
Sun Tzu said that your objective should be victory, not battling it out for a long period of time. This advice can help you be viewed as a person who moves towards peace, not struggle, and it can help you gain the respect of the people around you.
Think about how this applies to your relationships and how beneficial it will be for your relationships. If your main objective is to fight, then you are going to be viewed as someone who wants to stir up trouble and create problems. Nobody holds someone like that in high regard. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone like that.
A champion is someone who comes out victorious when competing against other people or going after something they really want. There are many different characteristics of champions that make them winners, and the good news is these characteristics are not magical or unachievable by ordinary people. They are human characteristics that everyone has access to.
If you don’t have them yet, you just need to understand why they are so important and then put in the practice needed to develop them. And, they do take practice. You can’t just turn on a certain trait because you want it to. You have to change your beliefs around that trait and then use techniques and tools to help you develop it. Then, you need to work on maintaining it so that it becomes a part of who you are.
The bottom line is that you have the potential to be great. If you want to be a champion in life, then following is a list of traits that you will want to work on.
Muhammad Ali, who is one of the most recognizable champions in boxing history, said that people who do not have the courage to take risks do not accomplish anything in life. I would add to that and say that people who do not have the courage to take more than one risk, will never become a true success or a champion in life.
Muhammad Ali had the courage to rise up despite criticism. He also had the courage to train hard, keep going despite his failures in his life, speak up for what he believed in, and stand up for what he believed in. The fact is that courage was a centerpiece in his life. But, you will find that courage plays a big part in every champion’s life.
Everyone who comes out a winner had to have the courage to start going after something they wanted in the beginning. It’s uncomfortable for everyone to start, and there is always a fear that you won’t be good enough, but the eventual winners gather up the courage to take the first step despite their fears.
And when failure comes around – and it always does – champions needed to gather up more courage to keep going after their dreams. They have to believe in themselves despite the failure. They had to keep trying even though their efforts resulted in failure before.
So, courage is an essential characteristic of becoming a champion. But how can you gain courage?
For starters, become passionate about what you want to achieve. Imagine yourself as a champion and everything that comes with it. Imagine your loved ones benefiting from your success and the pride you will feel as you succeed. Let the end result of being a champion fuel the passion inside of you. Then let that passion drive you forward by focusing on it rather than your fear. Every time fear or doubt arises, focus your attention back on what it will feel like to be a champion and let those feelings help you keep moving towards your dreams.
And, perhaps most importantly, understand that despite how much you try and prepare, you can still fail. Many people can’t work up the courage to do something because they are so scared of failure. The fact is that failure will happen because you don’t always get it right. You don’t always do the right things or prepare properly. You don’t always know the correct information. And other people and circumstances can sometimes get in your way of success.
Remember, Edison had about one thousand failures before he invented the light bulb. But, despite his failures, he still accomplished what he wanted because he had the passion to do it and the courage to keep trying. Be like all the champions in the world. Embrace failure as an important part of life and you will stop fearing it and letting it hold you back.
2. Belief In Yourself
You can’t second guess yourself all the time if you want to be a champion. Champions have a faith in their ability to achieve what they set out to do. They may not always feel fully confident that they will succeed because they know that failure is a part of trying, but their core belief is centered around the fact that they can succeed if they just put enough effort in despite the failures. They also have a belief that they are going to achieve what they set out to achieve in the moment. They aren’t focused on the past or future. They are centered and do something with a belief that they can succeed right now.
Probably the biggest example of that is Babe Ruth, who is known as one of the greatest baseball champions in history, who called out a home run in the fifth inning of Game 3 in the 1932 World Series before he made it. It’s obvious that he believed that he could hit that home run, and he did. And there’s no doubt he had an inner belief in himself that he carried throughout his entire career to make him into one of the most well-known champions of baseball around.
The thing to remember is that believing in yourself does not mean you put down other people or bully other people. It’s not about rejecting other people’s ideas or support. It’s about trusting in your capabilities and letting that faith help you do what you need to do with confidence.
For instance, Susan Boyle had faith that she could impress the judges on Britain’s Got Talent, and that helped her do what she needed to do to become the success that she has become.
How can you develop faith in yourself? The biggest thing to remember is that if you have the desire to do something, then you have the potential to achieve it. The desire to achieve something is what helps you keep your awareness open to new tips, tools, and techniques to achieve your dreams. It’s what helps you practice continuously with faith that you will succeed. It’s what helps motivate you and keep the faith when things are stressful. In other words, if you feel the desire to achieve something great, then that desire is going to help you keep moving forward and become a champion in whatever area you want to be a champion in.
Bobby Orr is known as the guy who brought more offense to defense. He was a defenseman who rushed the puck up the ice and set up teammates with passes. He redefined the position of defenseman in hockey, and he did it so successfully that many other hockey players followed his lead. This ability to be innovative and step out of the role he was supposed to be in made him a champion in hockey.
To become a champion, you don’t need to reinvent the wheel. There are a lot of great people who have carved out a proven path to be the champion that you want to be.
But if you think (or believe) that you can do something that is not normally done, then why not do it? Why not test out your theories to see if they will work? If you are willing to push the boundaries and see if you can tweak something to make it better – or make yourself better, then there is a good chance you will discover a new technique or way of doing something that makes you stronger and more capable in that particular area.
A lot of people want to know about the skills you need to be successful in life, but I think that knowing about the skills you need to be successful at creating the life you want can help you not just be successful in life, but create a life that you actually want to live. You can be successful at something you hate doing; in fact, a lot of people are doing that right now. But, being successful at something you hate doing doesn’t fulfill you in a way that makes life feel amazing. That’s why I highly recommend working on creating your own reality.
Most People Believe That Life Is Happening To Them
Vishen Lakhiani talks about an evolution of consciousness starting with the ‘early man’ (think caveman without communication skills) and ending with ‘the god mind’ (think about not listening to a higher power but being a higher power). Vishen says that most people are operating one step up from the early man in a ‘modern man’ state. This is where they feel like life is happening to them and that few things are in their control.
How can you experience real success in that state? Your dreams are desires go unrealized as you deal with the hand you are dealt on a daily basis. You chalk up whatever happens in your life as ‘just the way it is’ and you do the best that you can to make it through life instead of the best that you can to live a happy and fulfilling life.
In order to be successful at creating your reality, you need to get out of the ‘modern man’ mindset and move to the next step, which he calls the ‘culture hacker’. This is where you notice that your thoughts, feelings, and actions are impacting your life and your goals. This is where you see that you are able to create situations and outcomes that you want and you are able to create the success that you want.
Once you get into this mindset, you will stop crossing your fingers hoping that life doesn’t deal you a bad hand and you will start doing things in your life that help you reach the success you want. So, let’s talk about the three essential skills you need to make that happen.
Skills You Need To Be Successful At Creating Your Own Reality
A skill is the ability to understand and perform something well. A few of the following things may not feel like skills, but once you understand how powerful they are for creating the life that you want, you will see them as skills and want to work on them.
1. Ordering What You Want From The Big Cook (And Expecting Your Order To Be Delivered)
Have you ever asked for something in your life and really believed that you were going to get it? If you have, then you probably ended up getting what you wanted, as long as it wasn’t something completely unrealistic. This is because not only did you ask and believe that something was coming, you expected it. So, you kept your eyes open for ways that you could get it.
For instance, a friend of mine wanted a specific kind of job with specific benefits. He was working at a job he hated, but he knew that his perfect job was out there and he would be much happier in that job. So, he asked for the job, believed he would find it, and then expected to find his way to it. When he met people, he looked for ways they could help him. When he was faced with choices, he chose to do things that would move him closer to the job. And he constantly looked through the job boards to see if his perfect job had been posted yet. He didn’t worry about how he was going to find the job, he just knew that he was. And in less than a month, he met someone on the train who happened to work at a place where they had an opening for his dream job. He found out how to apply, applied, went for the interview, and had the job within a week of meeting that person.
Doing this successfully requires you to understand that what you want is out there, stay open to signs and coincidences, and then do things that help you get what you want. If you can do that, then you can find your way towards almost anything that you want to be successful at.
Are there people out there who don’t worry about failure? Yes, in a sense. There are people who view failure in a completely different way and instead of worrying about it, they embrace it. I know that sounds crazy, but with the right mindset and ways of being, you can view failure as something to embrace too. The following life hacks will help you to stop worrying about failure and start seeing it as something valuable and even needed in your life.
1. Pretend This Is Heaven
Kamal Ravikant, a best-selling author, gave a speech on loving yourself. During it, he talks about a friend of his that died for 7 minutes after a heart attack at the age of 24. She said that after that happened to her, anything she wanted in life came to her. When he asked her why she thought she was attracting things so easily, she said that she started to wonder if this was heaven, because nobody can prove that she really didn’t die for good from her heart attack. And if this is heaven, she said, they I can have, do, or be anything I want.
Imagine having that kind of mentality. Would you worry about failure? No, because you know that eventually you can have, be, or do anything you want. Moreover, if you believe this is heaven, then failure must be a part of being in heaven, right? It must be necessary in heaven, for some reason, so why not just embrace it at as a part of your journey to get whatever you want?
In short, pretend this is heaven where nothing is happening TO you, it’s happening FOR you. Everything that happens is happening to set you up with what you want because it’s heaven – a place where you can get anything you want. And let this belief carry through all areas of your life – your health, love life, and career. If you do, then you will take failure in any area of your life as a part of the process of getting what you want – and it won’t seem like a bad thing that you need to worry about.
2. See Failure As A Confidence Building Tool
Do you want to be more confident in all areas of your life? You can be confident without failure, but you can’t gain the level of confidence that allows you to face life’s ups and downs head on and move through them easily.
For example, you may start a business and have instant success. Of course, you will feel confident during this time. You will feel like you know what you are doing and that you are capable of success, and that confidence will help you move forward. But, when something goes wrong, your confidence will be tested. You may start to doubt your ability to run a business, and that doubt will affect how you interact with your business and how successful your business is. But, if you experience ten big failures in business where you lose or nearly lose everything, and then you build a successful business back up, you will gain a superman-like confidence in your ability to come back from obstacles and still be successful.
By definition, your state of mind is the mood you are in at a particular time. While it can change from positive to negative based on certain life events, it shouldn’t change drastically from day to day during everyday life. If you feel like your state of mind is changing from positive to negative on a day to day basis and want to get off the rollercoaster, then this article will give you some tips to help stabilize your mood. Do one of them, and you will find your state of mind is more positive more often. Do them all, and your entire life is likely to change for the better.
1. Find Things Worth Feeling Excited About
When something exciting is going to happen in your day, your state of mind will shift to a highly positive state. You will wake up with energy and jump out of bed – often earlier than you normally get up. You will feel good as you focus on the exciting thing happening. And everything you do will feel lighter, more interesting, and more fun. Basically, you feel more alive!
Why not recreate that feeling on a daily basis and help you maintain a fresh, fun, and positive state of mind like you do on those rare days something exciting is happening? Why not keep yourself in a constant state of ‘Yes! Today I get to do something awesome’?
I know that some people may not feel like there are many (if any) things in their life that make them excited. I get that. When your state of mind sucks, you don’t see a lot of good in your life. That’s why you need to step out of your daily habits and look for something new to add to your life that is good. And if you look, you will find it!
A friend of mine was told to find one thing she was excited about by her therapist, and for weeks she agonized over the fact that she wasn’t excited about anything. But, as she focused on trying to find one thing that she was excited about, she found herself exploring new things in her life. She tried things she had never tried before in an attempt to find that one thing, and because she opened herself up to so many new things, she eventually did find that one thing. It was scrapbooking, which was something she wouldn’t have thought about doing before. She found that scrapbooking was a way for her to unleash her creative side and focus on the good things (instead of the unwanted things) that were happening in her day to day life. Every day she woke up excited as she thought about working on a new page for the day.
You may not find scrapbooking very exciting, and that’s okay. The point is you need to open yourself up to looking for that one thing that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning.
Do that by saying ‘yes’ more often. Allow yourself to try new things. Allow other people to suggest new experiences that you may not think of. The more you do in your days, the more chances you will have to find things that make life worth living.
2. Stop Doing Things You Hate
If you find that your state of mind is bouncing back and forth between positive and negative on a daily basis, then there is a big chance that you are doing some things that you really hate. And, there is a bigger chance that you are doing things you hate as much or more than you are doing things you love.
When you are doing things you love, life feels easier and happier. You don’t struggle with your day as much because you are not putting up a ton of resistance like you do when you are doing things you hate.
For instance, if you hate your job, then you are living a big part of your life doing something you hate. How can you maintain a positive state of mind when you have to go to work and don’t feel good about it? You can’t! Your state of mind is affected negatively as you think about going to work and try to find ways to avoid it (resistance to what’s going to happen), as you go through the motions at work and want to go home (resistance to what’s happening), and sometimes after you leave work.
And sometimes the things you are hate doing are not that big but add up to be just as impactful. For instance, if you don’t mind your work, but hate your drive to work, the chores you have to do when you get home, and the lack of time you have to yourself in the evening, then those things are going to add up and cause your state of mind to bounce back and forth between work, where you feel good, and home, where you feel stressed out.
You can’t tell me it’s not possible to stop doing things you hate. I know from experience that it is possible to change around schedules, habits, and activities so that you are doing things that make you feel good rather than bad.
Sometimes even a minor shift in how you do something can make it less painful and more appealing. So sit down and write down the things you hate doing the most and how you can replace or change them in a way that will help you be happier more often.
3. Become The Person You Most Respect
Warning! Personal growth and getting out of your comfort zone ahead!
You can’t change other people, but you can change yourself. You’ve probably heard that before, but it doesn’t hold a lot of meaning until you actually start to change yourself and become the person that you want others to be in the world. When that happens, you stop focusing on other people so much and your state of mind improves as you focus on how amazing you are.
J.K. Rowling said in one of her books that wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure. A witty person can win over people easily. A witty person can get what they want out of relationships because they are able to charm other people and influence them. A witty person can adapt to any situation and turn it into something positive for themselves. In other words, learning how to be witty is one of the best things you can do for your relationships and success with them and life in general.
Being witty is not about telling jokes or doing silly things. It’s about being in situations and coming up with a clever and comical observation. It’s about being in the moment and thinking on your feet. It’s about saying and doing things that make you look charming and earn other people’s affection and interest.
Not everyone is naturally witty, but everyone can learn how to be witty. It takes practice, just like everything else, but because it is such an attractive and important trait to have, the motivation to practice should be there for you.
11 Big Tips On How To Be Witty
Following are some tips that will help you be wittier. Some of these tips may not be what you expected, but all of them are important to develop a wittiness that people find charming and engaging. The bad news is that you are not going to become witty overnight. The good news is that all of these tips are doable for anyone and you have the power to become wittier if you choose to put in the work.
1. Practice Common Sense
The thing about witty people is that they are able to judge a situation ‘as is’ without embellishing anything. They point out the facts and have good insight into what is going on. They aren’t silly or off the wall. They see the facts, and they are able to see the truth and find the humor in those facts.
Common sense is developed by slowing down and thinking things through. Don’t react quickly to situations or comments. Take some time to get all the facts around what’s going on and think about them before you react. The more you practice this, the quicker you will be at having good judgment around a situation.
2. Learn More About Body Language
Keep in mind that reacting to situations and other people includes your body language as much as it does your words. Just like you can display ignorance or prejudice through your body language without saying a word, you can also display wittiness through your body language without saying a word. So it doesn’t matter how witty you are verbally, if you are sending an opposite message through your body language, your words are going to be meaningless.
The fact is that a lot of people don’t know what their body language is really saying to others, and a lot of people don’t even think about their body language. Are you one of them? Learn more about how facial expressions, hand gestures, and even positioning your body can influence the message someone receives from you.
3. Become Wiser
Witty people know a lot of things. They are able to draw from their wisdom and find a humorous angle because of it. They have a lot of experience in life and because of that they have a lot more common sense, intelligence, and insight than other people. This is why the elderly are often witty. But, age isn’t really a factor when it comes to wisdom.
Wisdom comes from experience and being open to new ideas and perspectives. Always look at experiences with curiosity. Ask questions in every experience you have. What can you learn from the experience? What can you take away from a situation to make your life better? Is a different way of viewing things more beneficial than how you view things now? These questions will help you accept new idea and perspectives into your life and become wiser because of it.
You will notice that as you become wiser, you will be able to see perspectives that other people can’t, which will often be humorous. This will help you stand out as the wittiest person in the room!
4. Learn About What Makes People Laugh
To be witty, you have to make people laugh, which means you need to understand what people find funny in the first place. I know plenty of people who think they understand what makes people laugh, but it’s obvious that they don’t because they often end up offending people or turning people off. Have you ever gotten that reaction? Then you may need to study up on what people find funny.
Should you embrace your social awkwardness is social settings? Is it just a part of who you are? Some people will tell you to embrace it, but I truly feel that it’s important to try and overcome being socially awkward as much as possible, especially if you want to create a life full of relationships, love, happiness, and success.
Being socially awkward will affect your life negatively. It may not affect your online life, where you can say whatever is on your mind without fear of hearing a reply and where you can delete any word or statement you make. But, it will affect your ability to form real relationships with family, friends, and co-workers, and it will affect your self-esteem, success, and happiness in the long run.
The bottom line is that when you are socially awkward you feel awkward or out of place, and that makes all situations and events with other people more difficult than they need to be. Moreover, it can hold you back from going after things you want because, often, the things you want are through or around other people, which can be hard to face.
Therefore, I highly suggest that you embrace your social awkwardness as a part of who you are now and then find a way to improve your social skills and confidence so you can become less socially awkward.
10 Signs That You Are Socially Awkward
Are you not sure if you are socially awkward? Following are some common experiences awkward people have. If you find that you relate to almost all of them, then you are socially awkward and need to work on it if you want to change your relationships and life around.
1. People Avoid You In Social Settings
If you find people moving away from you or avoiding you during social settings, then there is a high chance that you are socially awkward. People don’t feel comfortable around people who are awkward and lack social skills. It’s hard to have a conversation with them, understand what they are trying to convey, and feel at ease around them. This is true whether you are at work or in another social setting.
2. You Avoid People As Often As Possible
If you ever find yourself ducking behind something to hide from someone that you would have to chat with, or crossing the street to avoid someone, or quickly shutting the elevator so that you don’t have to talk to your co-worker, or cancelling plans where you will need to interact with people, then you are probably socially awkward. We avoid people because we feel uncomfortable at the thought of having to engage with them.
3. Dates Always Go Bad
If you find yourself offending or scaring off almost every date you have, then there is a high chance that you are doing things that are weird or looked down upon by someone who is looking for love. A lot of socially awkward people just don’t understand what other people are looking for or find unacceptable.
For instance, you could be talking over your date, ignoring their questions, saying offensive things, asking inappropriate questions, or acting in a manner that makes them think you are too needy or desperate. Without being there with you, it’s hard to tell exactly what you are doing wrong, but it’s easy to say that something is going wrong if all your dates never lead into anything else.
4. Romantic Relationships Don’t Last Long
You may find someone who can look past your awkwardness, but after a while, they start to grow tired of your inappropriate behavior or inability to be social and have a good time. They will probably tell you straight up during your relationship that they wish you were more social and outgoing. And, eventually, when things don’t change they leave.
5. You Don’t Have A Lot Of Friends
Friendships are hard for you. You don’t make friends easily and when you do, you often lose them because you are not willing to meet their friends or go out and do things with them. You would rather sit at home with them than go out, which is a friendship-killer because friends build experiences in life and bond over those experiences.
6. Your Self-Esteem Is Affected By How Others Treat You