November 25, 2015

My Mom Is Special Because: The Different Views We Have Through Life

As I’ve grown up, I’ve viewed my mom in very different ways. Talking to my niece this weekend, I asked her about her mom and what she thought was special about her. She said, “My mom is special because…” and then she followed it was some really cute reasons that I have long forgotten. I realized that her viewpoint of her mom was very serious to her, and she had some extremely different opinions of why her mother was special than I did.

Her responses made me think that as we grow up we view our mom in very different ways, but she always remains special to us. I went online and read a lot of ‘my mom is special because’ posts and found that as children, teenagers, and adults, there are some common threads in each category on why our mom is so special. So, let’s take a look at some of the reasons why moms are so special throughout our lives.

As Children – My Mom Is Special Because…

She Loves Me: Kid’s need love, and they recognize that their mother is a consistent place to get it from. Their mother loves them despite the ups and down that happen throughout the day. Their mom loves them enough to cuddle them, tickle them, hold hands, and kiss them. Kids are very touchy little beings, and they find comfort in a good hug or snuggle, which moms are notorious for.

She tucks me in at night: This is a statement I see consistently from children. Getting tucked in is a symbol of love. It is the perfect way for a kid to get comfortable before going to sleep and feel protected and cared about. It offers a connection with the people they love the most (kind of like sitting around the dinner table does). There are very few moments in the day where you can spend some quality time together, look into each other’s eyes, and say ‘I love you’ without any interruptions. Kids appreciate this one-on-one time with their mom.

She buys me things: I love hearing this from kids. It’s very interesting how dependable they are on other people, yet still so independent in how they think and what they say. You often hear kids saying, “Mom, can I have this PLEASE!” and then listen to the mother saying no followed by a kid who stomps their feet and starts to cry. If it’s that upsetting when they don’t get what they want, I imagine it feels amazing to actually get what they want. The awesome thing is that it doesn’t matter if it is a gumball or a new, expensive toy. Getting something from mom always feels amazing.

She teaches me things: Kids love to learn. In fact, if you’ve been around kids, then you know that their favorite word is ‘why’. Research has shown that children learn the quickest during their early years, and they need to learn in order to discover their world and how to interact in it. It’s no wonder children would find their mother’s special for teaching them everything they need to know. Even the simple act of tying shoes is important, and moms are always there with patience and love to help them understand

She feeds me: Oh, man, this is important! If mom didn’t feed them, they wouldn’t eat! I see a lot of kids talk about the different foods they like, such as macaroni or soup, and how they love that their mom makes them that food. I’ve seen kids talk about how their mom pack them a lunch. My niece thinks her mom is special because she gets her little donuts when she goes through the local coffee shop drive thru. The truth is that we all need and love food, especially food that tastes good, so mom is an important source of this vital need.

She lets me play: This is so common among kids when they talk about how special their mom is, but it’s not always focused on the same thing. I’ve seen, ‘she lets me play in the snow’ and ‘she lets me play with my friends’ and ‘she lets me play with my toys’. It’s obvious that playing is a luxury that mom has a lot of control over. Playing is vital to a kid’s growth and happiness as it allows them to be creative, develop important skills, develop emotional strength, and encourage healthy brain development.

She protects me: Have you ever seen a kid lost in a department store? To them, it’s the scariest thing in the world because they can’t find their mom. Moms offer a sense of security that no one else can give. Mom is the one who protects them from strangers and makes them feel secure even when they are surrounded by things they are scared of.

She is nice: This seems to be a very important element for kids. If someone makes them feel bad, they will instantly say, “They’re not very nice!” They have a keen awareness of who is out to make them feel bad and hurts them, and who is there to make them feel good. The people who make them feel good (like their mom) are the people they like to be around the most. In other words, they find their mom special because she is patient and nice to them, even when other people would get angry and lose their patience.

As Teenagers – My Mom Is Special Because…

She takes care of me when I’m sick: Even the strongest teenager will need their mom when they are sick. Mom is the one who will tend to their needs and help them overcome feeling horrible. She makes the soup, gives them the cough syrup, rubs their back with cough medicine, and checks in on them to make sure they are ok. She provides the ultimate level of comfort during the most uncomfortable times.

She understands I need space: Teenagers need a lot of space to think, plan, create, and just veg out, and while mothers often check on their teenagers to make sure they are ok, they give them the space that they need. This becomes very apparent when teenagers have to stay somewhere else for a few days and have to live with a constant invasion of privacy. They long for their bedroom and their mother who knows that she needs to knock before she come into their room.

She wants the best for me: Even though teenagers want to get away from their moms during their teenage years, they still realize that she wants the best for them. They just figure that she doesn’t actually know what is best for them. But, if their friends challenge their mother’s intentions, they will often defend her and let them know that she is trying – even if she is clueless!

She always takes me back: Teenagers are known for pushing their mother away as they try to take on the world by themselves. Thankfully, whether they do something stupid, run away, or tell her how horrible she is, she is always willing to take them back into her home and into her arms. She is a soft place to fall when the world gets to be too much and they get overwhelmed with the stress of it all.

She is encouraging: Being a teenager is rough. Confusing feelings, struggles with friends, struggles in school, and the feeling that you are not good enough are all part of being a teenager. A mother can make everything feel better with her encouraging words and advice. I guess this is a next level in her teaching career, because she teaches her teenagers that faith and strength are important in life. A mother can give you the strength to get back out there and do what you need to do in school, with your friends, and with your hobbies.

She is my mom: This is a great response I’ve heard from teenagers, and it makes total sense. Being a teenager means there are a lot of thoughts and issues going through your mind, and you may not always understand why you do stuff or why you care about something that you do. So, sometimes it’s hard for kids to understand why they think their mom is special at all, besides the simple fact that she is their mom. They have a knowing that their mother is an important part of their life, but they can’t for the life of them remember why. I think this helps them hold on to their mother so they can make it through to the adult stage of understanding why their mom is special.

As Adults – My Mom Is Special Because…

She’s always there for me: Even the oldest adult is a still a kid in their mother’s eyes – and mom is still a mom. The kid/mother relationship doesn’t just disappear with time. It does change, because adults don’t rely on their mother as often, but it doesn’t disappear. It’s interesting that mothers often know what their kids need the most, even if they are not living in the same home or location as them. They show up at just the right time or bring just the right gift. They are willing to drop everything and make their kids their priority if they really need them. This is something that is not as apparent when you are younger because a lot of things get taken for granted. But, when your mom shows up with something you need at the right moment, it’s easy to appreciate how she is always there for you.

She celebrates my accomplishments with enthusiasm: It feels good to have successes in life, but not as good as it feels to tell your mother that you have done something successful. The celebration that comes from her is worthy of a party, and it makes you feel even more amazing as you realize that you made your mother proud. No one is going to be as enthusiastic as your mother, which is why she is often the first person you will call when something goes really right in your life.

She’s my best friend: There comes a time where mom becomes more of a friend than a mother. She is more willing to share her problems and talk about her struggles, which is something that she didn’t do openly when her kids were younger. The veil that hid all of her imperfections gets lifted, and her kids get a glimpse into who mom really is. It becomes easier to talk to her about your problems without worrying about being judged, and she becomes more sympathetic. She still tries to tell you what to do, but she is sympathetic to your cause.

She sets an example: Whether it is a good example or a bad example, she is a shining example in your life. When you are an adult, you can clearly see how she interacts with life beyond you and how it impacts her health and happiness. You go beyond seeing her as mom, and you see her as a human being with some serious flaws and strengths. And, you can use that information to make your life healthier or happier than hers. There is no one that you get more insight into than your mother, so take her lessons (even if she doesn’t know she is teaching them) and use them to create the life you really want.

She left me with great memories: Unfortunately, moms usually pass on before their kids and all the kids are left with the memories of their mom. This is when you can clearly see everything your mom did for you and the value that she added to your life, but it’s too late to tell her to her face. Most people I’ve talked to regret not saying everything they wanted to say to their mom when she was alive, so make sure you take the time to tell your mom just how important she is and how much she has done for your life while she is alive and able to hear it. I guarantee that she will be thrilled to know that all her care, love, and focus on you was appreciated every step of the way.

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