A can do attitude is obviously beneficial for success in life. The famous quote by Henry Ford that says, “Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right,” applies here. If you have a can do attitude, then you are going to do things that increase your success rate, such as take massive action and keep going despite setbacks. If you have a cannot do attitude, then you are going to do things that sabotage your success rate, such as give up or procrastinate.
Having a can do attitude can help you have success in every area of life, including mending a broken heart. Some people believe that they will never get over the hurt and hold on to that hurt for months, years, or even their entire life! They let it affect their quality of life as well as their future relationships in a big way. They cannot go on the way they were before, and so their life takes a turn for the worse. If you want to avoid that, then a can do attitude is your answer. It will help you mend a broken heart quicker and more thoroughly. Following are 10 ways that it will help do that.
1. Doing Is Important After Your Heart Is Broken
What separates the dreamers from the doers? A can do attitude! The dreamers get started on their path to recovery, but they question themselves so much that they eventually revert back to their old feelings. The doers get started on their recovery and keep going despite the discomfort that comes their way, such as running into the person who broke their heart or finding out that person has gotten into another relationship.
You have to get busy after a breakup, so you don’t get stuck dreaming about the past, the loss, and what could have been. If you get stuck in that realm, you will beat yourself up and relive the broken heart over and over again. Getting busy will help you carve out a new path and focus on that path in life. It will help you let go of the feeling or belief that you were meant to be together and show you that life is just fine without that person in it anymore.
Can do people are willing to do things that matter. They adjust to change better, and they are willing to make the effort to move forward. They don’t wait around for someone to help them get started on recovery, they take action to move forward and create a life that they want.
2. It Will Help You Avoid Bitterness
After you have your heart broken, there is a stage where bitterness can set in if you are harboring negative emotions. This stage can cause you to do crazy things. I once had an ex steal my car and rip apart a diary that I had kept since a kid. I’ve seen people smash furniture, harass their ex, sabotage their relationships, and do all kinds of horrible things expecting that it was going to help them feel better… but it didn’t. That bitterness doesn’t go away until you develop a more positive and optimistic view on your life.
A can do attitude is necessary to let go of the bitterness and move on to bigger and better things. When you are stuck in an attitude where you can’t move forward, your energy, both mental and physical energy, will go towards your ex and how you can make them pay or hurt just like you are. Having an attitude that you can move forward will help you avoid holding on to those negative feelings.
Also, can do people tend to see other people’s points of view more realistically. Instead of not knowing why they had their heart broken, they tend to see it all very clearly from their point of view and their ex’s point of view, which helps them get out of a state of ‘why’ and ‘what should I do’ to a state where they just move on and do better from their lessons learned.
3. People Want To Be Around People With A Can Do Attitude
Other people are going to help you get out of your head and maintain a positive attitude. They are essential for mending a broken heart because they offer different perceptions that allow you to see things differently and feel different.
If you want to meet new people and maintain some healthy relationships after a broken heart, then you need to maintain a can do attitude. If you are stuck in a place where you cannot show love, accept love, or be happy, then you are going to affect your relationships negatively. You are going to want to isolate yourself, which will put a big wedge in your relationships. And if you do get up and go out, the people who are trying to help you recover will be treated poorly. And, the people who come into your life and offer you new relationships and opportunities will be pushed away.
But, if you can maintain a can do attitude, the opposite will happen. People will respect you for being so strong during a time that many people fall apart and complain and whine and mope around. They will enjoy being around because positive people are just more fun to be around. New people who come into your life will appreciate your willingness to tackle new situations and try new things. You will be forming and maintaining your relationships with ease when you are a can do person
4. It Will Help You Avoid Cutting Out Opportunities For Love
I was listening to a guy talk about his breakup today, and he said that he was never going to allow himself to get that close to someone again. Now, I could understand if this was a few days after his breakup and he was processing his feelings, but this breakup happened a year ago. He had been holding on to that hurt for so long and developed an attitude where he fully believed that was not going to be able to get close to someone again because he didn’t want to get hurt again.
Love can hurt! Getting hurt is a risk you take when you meet someone and fall in love with them. If you close yourself off to that hurt, then you are closing yourself off to the opportunity of love.
A can do attitude will help you maintain a sense of optimism that will allow you to see opportunities for love and take a chance on them. Believing that you are meant to meet someone that is perfect for you, and that all those failures in love are just lessons on who you don’t want in your life and, more importantly, what the perfect person for you looks like, will help you move forward openly. That’s the way to keep yourself open so that you can find someone who is going to enrich your life from the time you meet until the time you die.
5. A Can Do Attitude Helps You Be Gentle With Yourself
This is a simple truth: we are often harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. If a friend had their heart broken, we would remind them of all the reasons they are great and will experience success in love despite this little setback. Then we would take them out on the town and make them laugh until their broken heart felt somewhat better. We carry an optimistic attitude for them because we can see what there is to be optimistic about.
But, when it comes to ourselves, we are not always so gentle. We can literally punch ourselves in the gut with hate, criticism, anger, fear, worry, and a lack of hope. That’s why a can do attitude is so important. It can help us see what we are capable of doing without that person in our life and cause us to look forward instead of backward, just a like a good friend can do. It can help us throw out the tissue box and give ourselves a chance at making life great with the new cards we are being dealt.
In short, if you love yourself and believe in yourself, then you are going to treat yourself well after your heart is broken. You are going to take time to process your emotions, accept reality, and then get busy living a new reality.
6. A Can Do Attitude Promotes Independence
If you already have a can do attitude, then you are pretty independent as it is. You haven’t become needy and reliant on the person you were with, so while losing them can hurt, you know that you will be able to live your life alone because you have always been living an independent life on some level. You have your own dreams, goals, and ways of doing things, and you are perfectly capable of moving on and sustaining your life the way it was, minus the other person.
If you don’t have a can do attitude, then you will feel like you lost the person who gives you purpose and helps you get through the day. That’s called being dependent on someone else. That’s called living life for someone else. That’s not something you want to be doing. You only have one chance at your life, so you might as well live it for you and develop an independent and can do attitude where you can do anything you want on your own.
7. Your Can Do Attitude Allows You To See The Positive Of The Breakup
People who are positive about life are more mindful in life. They don’t relive the past over and over again because they know that it does them no good. Instead, they focus on the present and the future, and that helps them have a clearer vision of the past and how it has helped them get to where they are. They know that everything happens for a reason and can be a valuable tool for the present moment and for the future.
Your willingness to keep moving on to something better will help you see the breakup as a positive thing, not a negative thing. When you realize that the relationship ended for a reason, you can see why not having it in your life anymore is a good thing for you. Even if you don’t know why the relationship ended, you can accept that there must have been a reason why it wasn’t meant to be and value your new sense of freedom.
8. Your Attitude Will Help You Do Things Better Next Time
When you know you can do love, even after your heart is broken, you will move forward with the belief that you are going to do things better next time. That means you will take the lessons you learned from the relationship and the breakup, and you will apply your new knowledge to your future relationships.
In other words, you know that your next relationship will not have the same mistakes, problems, or issues that your last one had. You’ve been there and done that and you can set higher expectations for yourself and for your relationship, and take action on those expectations.
Knowing all that will help you feel better about your broken heart. It will help you recover quicker and move forward with hope that better things are to come. I think that’s where a lot of people who can’t get over a broken heart suffer the most – they lack any kind of hope for the future.
9. You Avoid The Self-Destructive Behavior
Many people with a broken heart can tell you that booze and reckless behavior become their best friends. They simply don’t care anymore and they are willing to take chances with their health and life because they feel like they have nothing to lose anymore – they already lost the love of their life! This keeps them in a state of anger and sadness, and their broken heart can take a long time – if ever – to heal.
People with a can do attitude avoid that dangerous trap. They know that they have not lost everything in life and that there is still a lot of value in taking care of themselves and doing things that are ethical and not life threatening. They are too busy moving forward to stop their life in its tracks and engage in the self-destructive behavior that can lead them down a very dangerous path.
10. You Will Stay Off Facebook
When you have a can do attitude, you have an attitude to take action and get results. This means you don’t have time to dwell on Facebook, a place where the broken hearted get attacked over and over again with pictures and updates of their ex and how happy they are. It’s hard to recover when you are constantly focused on what they are doing without you and how great their life seems to be.
In fact, someone who has a can do attitude might see the value in getting rid of Facebook altogether after a breakup. It will help them focus on themselves and what really matters – their happiness.