A boring relationship that goes unfixed can result in a breakup. We don’t tend to stay in situations that bore us for too long, because life is much more fun and rewarding when we feel excited and stimulated. A relationship, where we spend a lot of time with someone in everyday situations, needs to be fun and rewarding in order to make us happy and fulfilled. Following are some crucial tips on how to fix a boring relationship that you can use in your relationship starting today.
1. A Unique Date Night Is A Must
This is one of the tips that you will find in almost any article on how to fix a boring relationship. It is that important.
You have to start going on dates again. But, not just any dates. Remember when you first got together and all dates felt new and exciting? After a while, though, going to the same restaurant felt more like a comfort thing than it did an exciting thing. That’s when things can get boring. Therefore, you need to make date night something unique and exciting as often as possible to keep the thrill up.
If you haven’t gone on a date in a while, then start off by going someone comfortable and memorable to the two of you. This will give you a reconnect that you probably really need. But, after that, schedule in dates that excite you.
To make it fair, make sure that you each write down potential date ideas on a little piece of paper. Then, put those ideas in a jar and pull one idea every time it is date night. That will maintain a level of excitement and surprise, and ensure that you are doing things that at least one of you really wants to try out.
Just don’t put down any of your partner’s ideas that don’t thrill you, or your unique date night venture will come to a halt because of hurt feelings and anger. When that happens, you won’t be able to start it back up again without a lot of convincing and effort. View each date night as having potential, and then go from there.
2. Fix Your Perception Of Your Partner And Your Relationship
Often the way we look at things causes us to feel one way or the other, and a simple change in mindset can help us feel completely different. In your relationship, you may view your partner in a way that makes him or her look completely boring to you. Or, you may look at your relationship as boring compared to other people’s relationships that you see around you. Of course your relationship is going to be boring when you view it as such.
Following is a trick that may help you change your perception. This is a very real situation that many people I know have had to face without using their imagination.
Imagine that your partner has been diagnosed with a chronic illness. All those little annoyances that you had before will melt away as you realize just how important your partner is in your life and how unhappy you would be if you lost them.
Now, list off the reasons you would be unhappy without your partner if that illness got the better of them. What would you miss about them? What would you miss about your relationship? These are the things that make your relationship unique and interesting.
You will find that there are many things that you cherish about your partner, but you will also discover that your partner makes your life more fun and exciting in many different ways. Those are the things you want to focus on when you think about your partner. Those things will help you feel like your partner and your relationship is much less boring that you thought.
3. Celebrate Each Other’s Uniqueness
How can you get bored when you are around someone who sees the world differently than you and goes after different things in their life? Their unique outlook and approach to life should be exciting to you and help you grow as an individual and as a couple.
The trick to celebrating each other’s uniqueness it to allow each other to be who you are, without judgment or ridicule. This means you can’t tell your partner they are stupid because they like to meditate or because they don’t want to eat meat or because they want to pursue a career in vlogging, even though they are currently an accountant. Allow their differences to be interesting to you instead of annoying, and you will find that your relationship with them becomes a lot more exciting.
4. Become Best Friends
Your best friend is the closest person you have, and they are the one that you can always count on for fun, laughter, and good times. They are willing to do things with you that you want to do, and they are people who you are willing to go the extra mile for. You are never bored in their company, even when you are just sitting and staring at the TV, because you feel a connection with them that allows you to be yourself. And, you can open up about anything you want to them, which allows you to solve problems quickly and get back to having fun.
Your partner in life should be your best friend. If they are not, then you need to remedy that quickly. If you would rather be around someone else, then you will find ways to make your relationship boring enough that you have an excuse to get away and be with your actual best friend. Or, you will make your relationship boring because you are more focused on getting out with your friend than you are on working on your relationship.
5. Stop Being So Smart And Proper All The Time
Being smart is a good thing in life, but when your intelligence is the only thing you bring to your relationship, it is going to get boring. Intelligence causes you to hold back in your relationship. It causes you to question and ponder and take your time, and those are all boring things when your partner just wants to have some fun with you.
I’m not saying you need to become stupid, but you do need to put your ‘let me think this through’ persona aside and let your hair loose once in a while. Be silly. Do childish things. Act on impulse. Dance wildly. Sing loudly. Talk in a ridiculous voice. Do things that bring more than just your adult side into the relationship, and you will be much less boring and much more fun.
6. Show How Much You Love Them In Different Ways
You may be someone who can buy them diamond rings all the time to show your love, but after a while that becomes boring. It’s something that happens repetitively in the relationship, which becomes unexciting after a while.
Fortunately, there are a million different ways you can show your love to your partner. You can tell them in different ways, do different things to express you love, buy them different things, surprise them with different things, and keep them guessing as to how you are going to show them how much you love them next time. It will stimulate them and it will stimulate you as you think up new ways to express how much they mean to you.
7. Change Up Your Routine
Just like in your own life, a routine can become boring after a while. If you are stuck in a rut with your partner, then change up your routine to create some excitement.
This includes doing different things in the bedroom, because after a while, even when you are receiving pleasure, the act can become boring and you would rather just avoid it. There are plenty of ideas out there to spice up your sex life, so find them and make a conscious effort to use them in your relationship. This will affect the rest of your relationship in a positive way too.
You can also switch up your supper routine, your weekend routine, your evening routine, your morning routine, or any other routine that you are growing tired of.
For example, one of my friends and her husband decided to stop watching TV in the evening. It was originally done because they were tired of watching mindless stuff for hours on end and wanted to focus more on the important stuff, but they found that their relationship became more exciting because of it. They were able to spend hours talking or playing cards. They learned more about each other. They went out of the house more instead of staying in to catch their favorite TV show. Their relationship grew closer and more fun and much less boring, and they reconnected in a way that they had never imagined they would simply be boycotting TV and leaving their evening routine open for whatever felt good.
8. Play Games In Your Relationship
When it comes to how to fix a boring relationship, games can really help. I’m not talking about being manipulative in your relationship. I’m talking about a little healthy competition that can help spice up your relationship and make it feel more alive and fun.
Board games and card games work well. But, this works best with games geared towards your health.
For instance, you can both buy a Fitbit and compete to see who can walk more or get more distance in during the day. At the end of the day you can laugh as you discuss who won or who barely won, and you can make some new rules for the next day. When you are having fun in friendly competition, and feeling better mentally or physically because of it, then you will definitely add some well-earned excitement into your relationship.
9. Start Sexting
Stop using text to talk about important dates and what you need to pick up from the grocery store. It’s time to start using it in a way that makes your relationship less boring and much more scandalous, to the point that you will turn on all security features in fear that someone will see what your partner has sent you today!
Texting romantic and sexy words and pictures back and forth will help you put the spark back in your relationship in a few ways.
– It will remind you of how exciting your partner can be.
– It will remind you of how dirty they can be.
– It will help you focus on other things besides the boring part of your relationship.
– It will keep you guessing about what they are going to say next.
If you are not sure where to start, think of something that you wouldn’t normally say to your partner, but would love to tell them. This will come as a shock to them and be far from the mundane. As you get better at it, you will find yourself really turning up the heat!
10. Embrace The Arguments
Instead of being upset about disagreeing with your partner, embrace the arguments you have. Don’t hide away and avoid talking about things that matter. Being able to sit down and discuss your differences openly is what separates the boring relationship from the passionate relationship.
This is not an excuse to argue all the time, but when arguments happen – and they will, you can look at it from a different perspective where you have a chance to debate something. You can also separate yourself from the perfect fairy-tale romance that can make everything boring.
You may not have wanted to be in the debate club as a kid, but there is something stimulating about debating in an adult way. It gets your mind going. It helps you see things from a different point of view. And, it can even change your life if what you hear is obviously true and on point.
11. Unplug Often
When you are face down into a phone or tablet or computer, you can’t see your partner and your relationship clearly. When you are staring at the TV, you can’t talk about things that matter. You need to unplug, and you need to do it more often. If you don’t, your relationship will always seem boring because you are never in tune to it.
Big Brother is known for having live camera feeds. I know more people who watch the boring relationships on that show for hours than I do people who spend time together interacting in their own relationship. Some of my friends will actually sit and watch two people talking about something completely meaningless rather than getting up and going out for a walk or a drive with their partner. Of course their relationship is boring! They focus on the lives of other people instead of living their own.
12. Don’t Buy Into Reality Shows
I talked about perception and comparing your relationship in this article on how to fix a boring relationship, but I need to add that sometimes what you see is not really what is happening. I think reality shows have made ‘reality’ much different than it is. The type of craziness and passion that can happen in reality shows is hard to compare to in real life, because a lot of times the people in the show know that they need to be exciting or their show will get canceled, and other times it is scripted.
The people in reality shows may not have as much excitement as it seems in their real life. They are showing you small little fragments of their life – usually the most exciting parts, and then going on with their daily business of routine and boring stuff.
Therefore, don’t compare your relationship to those on TV. Of course your relationship will look boring in comparison. Normal relationships would not make for good TV, and you wouldn’t find them on the air anymore if they showed you just how normal they can be.