Have you ever heard the saying, ‘We fall in love by chance, we stay in love by choice’? Always remember that saying in your relationship with your girlfriend because it will make a huge difference to your relationship’s happiness. The truth is that you always have a choice to become closer or grow apart.
One of the best ways to become closer is to find some intimate things to talk about with your girlfriend that have some meaning to her and you and your relationship. Not sure where to start? That’s okay because this article will give you 15 topics to choose from that will help you find many more topics on your own.
1. Talk About Something That You Have In Common
If you were drawn together, then you have some things in common. They are likely what made you feel connected in the beginning, and they will keep making you feel connected no matter how long you’ve been together.
What’s interesting is that researchers found that if you have something in common with someone else, you tend to think of them as being like you in a bunch of other ways, not just in the way you know you are similar. That means that when you talk about how you are similar, your differences will be put aside and you will feel like you are on the same page.
Moreover, the part of the brain (lower medial prefrontal cortex) that becomes active when we connect with someone who we share similarities with, causes to us view those people like ourselves and avoid building up a judgment around them.
In other words, that one similarity can make you feel connected on many different levels. Therefore, talking about what you have in common during a conversation is something that will help you feel closer instantly.
You can talk about common beliefs, habits, likes, or dislikes. Anything that brings you two on the same page will help you feel more connected and unified.
2. Tell Her What You Like About Her
Everyone likes hearing positive things about themselves. If you want to engage in a conversation where she feels good, then talk about what you like about her.
Talk about what you liked when you first met her and talk about what you like about her now. You will make her feel good about herself, and those feelings will transfer to how she feels about you. In short, she will feel as if you are on her side and a supporter of her, and that will help her feel closer to you.
3. Talk About Whether Or Not You Believe In God
If you haven’t talked about this yet, it’s a great topic of conversation to connect on a deeper level. This is not something you talk about with a stranger on the street or someone you barely know because it is an intimate topic.
In some cases, you may already know the basics. For instance, if you met in church then you are going know the basics of what she believes. But for most people this will be a topic that hasn’t been touched yet and will give you insight into what she believes in and how she governs herself according to what she believes.
You may not be on the same page as her during the conversation, but it will definitely bring you closer as you will get an up close view into her intimate thoughts, and she will get an up close view into yours. Yes, you have to share your thoughts too!
Pay attention to her during the conversation for things that you can talk about later. For instance, you can talk about how she grew up or what her parents believed or how her friends influenced her or how her religion influenced her. There are so many different intimate conversations you can have after you determine where you both stand on the idea of God or religion in general.
4. Ask Her What She Feels Grateful For
When you focus on gratitude, you feel better. You feel happier and more alive and ready to take on the world. If you talk to her about what she feels grateful for, then you are helping her feel better, happier, alive, and ready to take on the world! It’s just a simple way to help her feel better about herself, you, and everything that’s going on around her.
Ask a specific question, such as what she feels most grateful for in her life or what she feels most grateful for about her family. Or, if it is just a random conversation, then pick any topic around gratitude. And if she is feeling down about something, then asking her to focus on what she is grateful for in that area will help her to start feeling better, and when she feels better, she will associate you with that increased mood.
5. Talk About An Embarrassing Moment
Again, this is not something that you would talk about with a stranger or somebody you don’t feel comfortable with. It’s reserved for people that you have an intimate connection with who won’t judge you.
It may feel awkward to do it first, but it is a way to show vulnerability, which is huge for building a closer connection, and it will give her more insight into you. Let’s face it, we all have embarrassing moments. And by talking about it with each other, you will have a little secret that other people will never have with you or your girlfriend.
6. Talk About Her Favorite Vacation Destination
Everyone feels great when they talk about vacation. And everyone has a favorite place to go. Some of us like to go to warm places, some of us like to go by the ocean, and some of us like to be in the mountains. Reflecting on our favorite place is a great way to lift our mood. That’s because we visualize ourselves on vacation when we think about our favorite destination. We can feel the atmosphere, hear the noises, and literally feel as good as we would if we were in the area that we are visualizing. It’s kind of like a mini-vacation in itself, without having to drive or fly to get there.
As you talk about your favorite vacation destinations, you’ll get a bunch of insight into each other, such as where you really feel relaxed, what activities you like to do, and what really makes you feel alive.
7. Talk About A Childhood Memory
Your childhood is a huge part of who you are today. It taught you many lessons about how to act and react to the world. It taught you who you want to be and don’t want to be. It’s full of embarrassing moments and life-changing moments. It is an intimate part of you, and your girlfriend’s childhood is an intimate part of her.
We all have the standout memories from childhood that we still reflect on today. Ask your girlfriend to share one of hers. You may gain some insight into why she believes what she does or why she acts like she does from one simple childhood memory that affected her in a big way.
8. Ask Her Who She Looks Up To
If you want to get some insight into who your girlfriend wants to become, then ask her who she looks up to and why she looks up to that person. The fact is that we look up to the people who we want to be more like, so her answer will give you a lot of insight into the goals and dreams she may have for her future self.
9. Talk About Your Future Together
You may not want to discuss kids or marriage yet, but talking about your future can help you feel more connected and in it for the long haul. Even if you just talk about next week and what you’re going to be doing together, it will help you feel connected and part of something that is bigger than just yourself.
Of course, if you feel committed to each other, there’s no law that says you can’t talk about kids, marriage, what kind of house you want to live in, where you want to live, where you want to spend your retirement or anything else that you would share together in the future. It will really boost your connection.
10. Ask Her About Her Old Hobbies
Hobbies are an important part of her past, just like your hobbies are an important part of your past. They are the things she did because she loved to do them, and they are near and dear to her heart, even if they are in her past.
Talking about past hobbies is a great way to gain insight into who she was or still is, and you might even inspire her to rekindle an old hobby that she once loved to do. If she hasn’t been doing what she loves to do, then you will get a lot of credit for that inspiration as she will be grateful that you were able to remind her that life is more than just work and stress.
11. Ask Her What Her Definition Of Romance Is
This is one of the most important things to talk about with your girlfriend. Every girl views romance differently. Some girls enjoy surprises and being swept off their feet while other girls enjoy cuddling and being validated. Knowing what your girlfriend finds romantic is a great way to give her the romantic moments that she needs in the relationship.
Experts believe that without romance the relationship will suffer. But you don’t need experts to prove this to you. Ask anyone who is in a relationship void of romance how they feel about their partner, and then ask anyone who is in a relationship full of romance how they feel about their partner. I guarantee that you will get two very different descriptions, and the person who feels as if they have been romanced by their partner will feel more love, connection, and happiness.
Romance is about being closer to your partner. It’s about showing them how much you love them and care about their satisfaction. It’s about reminding them that there is much more to your relationship than the day-to-day stuff. So make sure you find out what your girlfriend finds romantic!
12. Talk About Her Goals Outside Of The Relationship
It’s important to remember that you are two people who happen to be in a relationship together, and equally important to take some time to talk about the goals that you both have outside the relationship. These can be health goals, career goals, or any kind of personal goals that you both have.
Yours may be completely different from hers, and that’s okay. It will give you insight into how you are different and remind you of the girl you became attracted to as an individual, rather than the girl who is simply your girlfriend.
13. Talk About Your Favorite Movies Or TV Shows
The fact is that we all have favorite movies or TV shows, and we enjoy talking about them. This may seem superficial, but talking about your favorite movies and TV shows together can give you a lot of insight into each other and what you like or don’t like.
Moreover, if you like the same show or movie, it can help you feel more connected. For instance, if you both like The Walking Dead, then not only will you want to talk about the show, but you will be able to make references in your daily life from the show. Those references will remind you of that unique connection that you have, and they will make you both feel good.
14. Ask Her Who She Doesn’t Want To Become Like
You already asked her who she looks up to, now ask her who she absolutely does not want to be like. When it comes to things to talk about with your girlfriend, this is one of those things that will give you a lot of insight into who she is and what she is struggling with currently.
We tend to only think about who we don’t want to become when we think about things that are affecting us personally. For instance, nobody would say that they don’t want to become like a murderer because they’re not struggling with the thought of murdering someone, so it’s not really an issue that they feel intensely about. However, if someone is struggling with their weight, they may talk about how they don’t want to become like someone who is overweight. Or if someone is struggling with their judgments towards other people, they may talk about how they don’t want to become judgmental like so-and-so.
By asking this question you will get an inside peek into her deepest thoughts that she probably doesn’t share with anyone, and you will learn where her moral compass and desires are pointed towards.
15. Ask Her When She Feels Happiest
Not only will this question give you insight into your girlfriend, but it will help her gain insight into herself. Asking her when she feels happiest will force her to reflect on what she really enjoys doing and why. If she is currently not doing what makes her happiest, then the chances are good that she will shift some things around so that she can be happier. In other words, this simple question will give you some insight into her, and could help her feel better about herself and her life, which will help her feel better about you.