How to build a perfect relationship?
We all know some couples that seem to have the perfect relationship. Many people are quick to point out that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but the definition of perfect is ‘having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics’, which just means being the best that it can be. It is the type of relationship that most people strive for but fail to achieve.
A perfect relationship is fun and satisfying. There are many characteristics of this kind of relationship that unhealthy relationships just don’t have. It’s important to note that if you falter on just one important characteristic of a healthy relationship, then the rest can be affected as well. That’s why relationships take work and commitment to the following 20 aspects.
1. They Focus On Each Other’s Happiness
People who are selfish in a relationship have a lot of problems. A relationship where each person is looking out for themselves is going to be full of arguments, stress, and anger because one person is always going to feel like their needs in the relationship, and as a person, are not being met.
People who are in a seemingly perfect relationship, take into account each other’s feeling and needs, which causes them to think things through before they speak and do things that help maintain their partner’s happiness. They don’t just take into consideration their own needs and values, but their partner’s as well.
2. They Argue Well
In a perfect relationship, there is no punching walls, throwing things, or calling each other names. There is no attacking or blaming. Those are the kinds of behaviors that affect a relationship negatively on every level, and even the best actors wouldn’t be able to pretend like their relationship is great.
Instead, they stay calm, talk things through, avoid saying or doing hurtful things, and come to a resolution in one way or the other. They communicate well, which means they share their opinions and listen to their partners without judgement.
3. They Respect Each Other
Two people in a healthy relationship admire each other as individuals, which allows them to treat each other with respect. When you have respect for someone, it is easier to be kind, considerate, patient, and hold them in high regard. When you don’t respect someone, you will walk all over them, treat them poorly, make them feel bad, and try to tell them who they should be. That makes a big difference to the happiness in a relationship!
4. They Don’t Air Their Dirty Laundry
They argue. There is no doubt about that. But, they don’t confide to their friends about how horrible their partner is, and they don’t bring their arguments out in public for everyone to see. It’s not that they don’t want others to see that they have problems, it’s just that their arguments are personal and none of anybody else’s business. They respect each other enough to keep it between themselves and work it out without painting a negative light around their partner to others.
5. They Nip Things In The Bud Quickly
When something is wrong, they don’t sit back and hope it will all work out. They are scared to bring up issues that need to be brought up. They communicate issues to their partner so that they know what they feel and what they think needs to be done, and then they work through issues quickly. This helps them avoid arguments about something that happened years ago. And, it helps them avoid holding on to feelings of blame or resentment.
6. They Are Honest
They may not tell each other all of their thoughts (especially the ugliest ones), but they are honest with their partner about what they need out of the relationship and how they choose to live their life. In other words, if they feel hurt, they are honest, and they have no need to hide where they are, who they are with, or what they did with their day, because they eagerly share their lives with their partner.
7. They Work On Their Love
Love is a bond that requires intimacy and affection. If you don’t work on it, then it will die out! People in a perfect relationship take the time to do things that nurture their love, such as giving compliments, sharing life lessons, laughing with each other, cuddling, holding hands, being kind, and romancing each other. They make time for loving activities in their day, and they make sure they fully participate in them.
8. They Share Interests
There are many relationships where the two individuals are so different – or have grown so far apart, that they literally don’t want to do anything together. And when they do have to do stuff together, it is no fun because they have such different ideas of what is fun, relaxing, rewarding, etc.
A perfect relationship may have two people with a few different interests, but there are many things they enjoy doing together and they make sure to participate in those interests often as a way to strengthen their bond.
9. They Are Attracted To Each Other
Have you ever met someone who is no longer attracted to their partner? It’s an ugly scene! They roll their eyes at their partner, talk negatively about them, and seem much happier when they are away from them. This is because attraction equals pleasure. It’s a pleasure to be around someone you are attracted to. It feels easy, fun, and full of energy. But, when you lose that attraction, it feels annoying and frustrating to be around them.
A perfect relationship contains two people who are attracted to each other and keep that attraction alive through various means. They keep the fire burning.
10. They Support Each Other
The one person who should support you through life, besides yourself, is your intimate partner. They should be on your team and encourage you to become the person you want to be. A perfect relationship will be full of support. There will be sacrifices made to help their partner achieve something. There will be words of encouragement. There will be excitement for new opportunities for growth.
11. They Make Each Other A Priority
We all have priorities in life, and it’s important to maintain them if we want to excel in any area of life. In a healthy relationship, before their job, friends, and hobbies, their partner is their priority. If their partner needs something – time, love, support – they are willing to give it to them. They don’t make their favorite TV show their priority and talk to their partner AFTER it is done. They don’t spend time hanging out with their friends and having a blast if their partner is going through a hard time. They think of their partner first and do what they need to do for them.
12. They Trust Each Other
A perfect relationship isn’t full of doubt and jealousy. They know that they have each other’s backs and that their relationship is important enough to them to maintain the type of trust required for a healthy relationship. Therefore, they don’t jump to conclusions about things. They don’t grill their partner on where they were and why they were a few minutes late. And, they can leave their partner for a week’s vacation and not worry about what is going on. The trust isn’t forced or hard, it’s just there, and suspicion is not even thought about.
13. They Don’t Have Secrets
One reason they trust each other so much is because they don’t have secrets. They are honest with each other about who they are and what they’ve done through the day, and so there is never any inconsistencies in their stories to cause suspicion or mistrust. That’s the beauty of sharing your life with someone else. You don’t have to hide anything about yourself because they are supportive, loving, and cheering you on.
14. They Make Each Other Better
A perfect relationship contains two people who take the time to make each other feel better. In sickness, they work to make the other person as comfortable as possible, and even take on their chores or other daily duties. In times of struggle, they help their partner out in any way they can. And, when their partner needs to talk or a shoulder to cry on, they are there.
I see this particular quality missing in many unhealthy relationships. People don’t want to take the time out to help their partner feel better so their partner feels alone and ignored by the one person who should have their back, which affects the relationship in a very negative way.
15. They Are Comfortable With Each Other
Being at ease with someone is a feeling that helps keep a relationship happy and intact. A perfect relationship has two people who enjoy coming back to each other at the end of the day and feel like they can be themselves with their partner whenever they are around them. They don’t have to pretend to be someone else. They don’t have to put on their best attitude and be perfect. They can be who they are trusting their partner accepts that and won’t make them feel bad.
16. Giving Up Is Not An Option
The feeling of giving up can cause you to stop trying. When you throw your hands in the air and say ‘That’s it! I give up!’ you are making an excuse to yourself to stop working on the relationship and let crucial things go unattended. You may stop being honest. You may start keeping secrets. You may stop sharing your feelings. And, you may lose interest in your partner. As soon as those things start to happen, more follows, and soon you are in a relationship that you actually give up on!
A perfect relationship contains two people who don’t want to give up and who want to keep working on the relationship, even when things get hard.
17. They Are Equals
One person should never be another person’s slave or inferior in a relationship. That promotes feelings of anger, resentment, and unhappiness, which makes a relationship suck.
A perfect relationship contains two people who see each other as equals. One person is not more important than the other. One person does not get to be waited on by the other or abuse the other or treat the other person unfairly.
18. They Play With Each Other
Being playful with each other is a way to strengthen your bond. Playing around can help you have fun together, which makes you feel good about being with your partner. It can also help you make each other laugh. One of the top attractive qualities for both men and women is a sense of humor, so it is an extremely attractive trait to have in your relationship!
19. They Have The Freedom To Spend Time Alone
A perfect relationship is not about being together all of the time. It’s not about being glued at the hip and spending all your free time together. It’s about knowing that you always have someone to come home to, but being able to spend some quality alone time or time with friends. It’s about feeling comfortable enough to let your partner know that you need to take a drive alone or do something that means a lot to you alone, without your partner taking offence.
The fact is that because two people are individuals, they are going to need time to do individual things for their physical, mental, and spiritual well-being, and if they don’t get it, then they are going to feel unfilled and unhappy on some level.
20. They Admit When They Are Wrong
In a perfect relationship, there is no ego too big to admit when something has gone wrong and it is clearly someone’s fault. The ability to apologize and admit when you are wrong is a huge part of a healthy relationship that can work through anything. When no one is willing to admit their part in making the relationship, or their partner, hurt in some way, hurt feelings rise up and resentment is formed. While it may be hard to do, admitting when you are wrong is the ticket to making your partner feeling better, improving yourself, and improving your relationship.