The single life may sound appealing when your marriage is on the rocks, but the truth is that a happy and healthy marriage is one of the best ways to maintain happiness and health in your life. Having a constant person in your life to get support, contact, and love from will be deeply missed when your marriage goes down the drain. Therefore, if you feel like your marriage is starting to slip, take the time to do something about it. It does take some effort, but it is well worth it in the end.
1. Start To See Things From Their Point Of View
When your marriage is lacking happiness, you tend to focus on what your partner is doing wrong, not what you are doing wrong. This perception can keep the relationship stuck in an unhappy state and, ultimately, progress it to complete disaster. You simply cannot let go of your point of view, which means you will not see yourself as being a part of the problem. That’s why putting yourself in your partner’s shoes is so important. When you can see why they are unhappy in the marriage, you will have a clearer picture of what you need to do in the marriage to start to turn things around.
2. Start To Work On Yourself
Once you see how you are contributing negatively to the marriage, it’s time to start to work on yourself. Don’t wait for your spouse to do it first. That’s a one-way ticket to divorce. Somebody has to make the first move, so swallow your pride and make it you. Once you start to work on yourself, your spouse will take notice that you are actively doing something to save your marriage and be more inclined to also make changes on their end.
3. Don’t Put Down Their Efforts
As your spouse makes an effort to improve your relationship, don’t put down their efforts according to what you think is right or not right. For instance, if your spouse tries to communicate more, and you instantly tell them that they are not communicating properly, then you are making their effort seem like a complete waste of time. You need to be supportive of the actions they are taking if you want them to continue taking action.
4. Use Constructive Criticism
While you don’t want to put down their efforts, you do need to make it clear what is working and what isn’t working. This is where constructive criticism comes in. Instead of attacking, flying off the handle, focusing on yourself, focusing solely on the negative, and making it all about you – try to do the opposite of that. Have compassion, pick appropriate moments to talk about issues, focus on your relationship – not yourself, point out the positive of what they are doing, and make it about you and your spouse.
5. Have Patience
As you work on saving your marriage, don’t expect things to get better instantly. It took time to get to where you are and will take time to get to a happier place. New habits and behaviors require work to develop, so as you and your spouse develop them, appreciate the progress and have patience for what is to come.