Are you creating goals for your finances, career, and health, but forgetting about your relationships? If you are ignoring your relationships, then your relationships could be suffering. Or, at the very least, not getting better. And since love is the aspect of life that literally keeps us going towards everything else we want, it only makes sense to create goals to love each other better.
While this article will talk about creating goals to love your partner, friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers better, I also wanted to mention how important loving yourself is. If you don’t love yourself, then you cannot truly be who you are and offer the essence of who you are to other people. When you don’t love yourself, you may be closed off, feel unworthy, or just scared to love other people, which is why it is so important to first create goals for loving yourself.
The best way to do this is to pick some words that you would be proud of if used to describe you. For instance, mine would be compassionate, happy, and present. That’s how I want to view myself and that’s how I want others to view me. Therefore, I’ve created goals in my life to bring in more compassion, happiness, and presence, such as constantly learning about others, focusing on habits that make me happy, and doing daily meditation and practicing mindfulness. All of these goals are helping me to love myself better.
Don’t focus on what you think other people want to see. When it comes to loving yourself better, you already know what you don’t like about yourself and what would make you a better person when you look in the mirror. Those are the things you want to focus on.
Once you start working on those, you can start working on creating goals to love other people in your life better. And, once you start to love each other better, your life will take on an amazing shift of happiness, fulfillment, and success. Loving relationships tend to produce those kinds of results!
Goals For Loving Your Partner Better
If you are in a relationship with someone, then you need to create goals to love each other better. It’s a necessity, not an option. Why? Because if you don’t, you will start to grow apart. What used to be fun will become boring. What used to be full of passion will lack passion. And what used to be full of respect, fondness, and compassion will start to be filled with annoyance or indifference.
In order for a relationship to grow stronger, it requires constant work for a few reasons. The biggest is that you are both changing as you move along in the relationship. You are becoming two different people as you develop new beliefs and habits, and it’s important to keep up with those changes so that you don’t wake up one day and think, “Who the heck am I in a relationship with?”
The result of working on loving your partner more is worth it. You will have a more soulful, trusting, and deep connection with your partner. You will be more patient with them and understand them more. You will be happier in life and that will play itself out in every other area of your life, including your other relationships. In other words, creating goals to love your partner more is, just like I said, a necessity.
Take a step back and look at your relationship. What is lacking? What would you like to improve? And, when you find the answers, create at least 3 goals to work on. Just like any goals, these goals should challenge you. Following are 20 goal ideas to help get you started.
1. Go out on a date at least once a week where we spend time talking and getting to know each other better.
2. Be intimate at least twice a week.
3. Eat all meals together at the kitchen table instead of in front of the TV.
4. Spend less time on my computer/TV/phone and more time with my partner.
5. Tell them how much I love them or show them how much I love them.
6. Spend quality time together each night.
7. Play games that require trust to help build trust.
8. Do something new together once a week. (Doing something new can help create a deeper level of connection!)
9. Work on changing bad habits in the relationship.
10. Work on allowing my partner to explore their own interests and path in life.
11. Focus on the good things in my partner like I did when we first met.
12. Spend more time playing with my partner to boost the relationships laughter and happiness.
13. Make my partner my number 1 priority.
14. Make a point to appreciate what my partner does and show gratitude.
15. Let go of past baggage and work on focusing on the present.
16. Develop healthy habits to work through anger or fights.
17. Praise them for the good things that they do.
18. Stop making everything about me and start seeing things from their perspective.
19. Work on listening to my partner without distractions.
20. Stop correcting my partner according to my beliefs.
All of these goals will help you connect on a deeper level and you will find that communication will be a byproduct of them. Once you choose which ones will really help impact your relationship in a positive way, make them a daily or weekly habit – if they need to be, or keep them posted somewhere to remind you that you want to ensure the goals are met each week.
Goals For Loving Your Family And Friends Better
While your partner provides connection, fun, and positive energy, so does your family and friends. They are there for you in times of need and they offer you a relationship full of fun and comfort. But, often times we can become disconnected from our family and friends as we start to change and grow apart. That is why it is important to create goals to love each other better with them as well.
Jim Carrey said something worth remembering. “The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is. Everything you gain in life will rot and fall apart, and all that will be left of you is what was in your heart.” In other words, your family and friends, and the relationship you pursue with them, will always be something that you remember and resonate with. If you let them crumble and deteriorate, you will look back when all the other distractions are gone and wish you had spent more time nurturing the relationships you had.
Again, just like any goals, these goals should challenge you. Following are 20 ideas.
1. Spend more time with them talking and updating each other on our lives.
2. Listen to them when they are talking about their fears, concerns, etc.
3. Try to see things from their point of view.
4. Celebrate special moments to them that they may not expect me to remember.
5. Encourage them to go after their dreams and goals (be a support system).
6. Be open and honest with them.
7. Allow them to see my true self, despite what I think they will think.
8. Deal with problems as they arise so that there are no hurt feelings that cause a problem in the relationship.
9. Take interest in their life.
10. Watch my tone when I speak to my family or friends.
11. Always do what I promise to do.
12. Don’t take them for granted at any time.
13. Find ways to improve their lives.
14. Don’t hold them to unrealistic expectations that they can’t meet.
15. Allow distance in the relationship when need be and come back together where we left off.
16. Nip any toxic behaviors in the bud and do not let anyone treat me poorly.
17. Don’t wait for them to call me; instead, take initiative when I feel like talking to them – with no hurt feelings.
18. Do not try to control what they do or do not do.
19. Forgive my family and friends and move on from past hurts.
20. Do not gossip behind their backs.
Goals For Loving Acquaintances And Strangers Better
This is just as important as creating goals for your intimate relationships. Why? The way you interact in the world will affect your happiness, others happiness, and the world’s happiness. It is important to have some goals in place that help define how you engage with and treat others who you meet throughout your life. This includes your neighbors, doctor, financial planner, or just strangers on the street. How you interact with them has a big impact on how you feel about yourself and how they feel about you.
You may want to make a big impact in the world. If you do, then these goals are going to be very important. When you rub people the wrong way, your impact may be big, but it will likely be a very negative one where people don’t take you seriously.
Think about big stars who you once respected that did something awful. The chances are you view them in a very negative light. For instance, when Shaquille O’neal made fun of Jahmel Binion, I lost instantly respect for him. Someone with that amount of power to influence other people used it in a very evil way. He purposely set out to hurt a stranger, and he did. He also influenced a lot of young people in a negative way showcasing that his behavior was alright and acceptable.
You may also want to just have a happy life when you go outside of the home and not be noticed as a role model. If you do, then creating goals for interacting with acquaintances and strangers in a positive way is also important. You want to put forward the best version of yourself. You want them to leave their interaction with you feeling good, not bad. You also want to leave interactions with others feeling good, not bad.
The point is that when you put yourself out there in a way that people don’t like, your self-esteem can suffer, and your ability to do great things in the world will also suffer. This doesn’t mean that there will be people who don’t like you, because even the Dalai Lama has people who don’t like him, but it will mean that you will contribute to the world in a positive way and feel good about yourself instead of regret things you have done down the line.
So, what are some goals you can create to improve your relationships with acquaintances and strangers? Following are 20 examples that I think are pretty important.
1. Become more patient with other people.
2. Take the time to really listen to other people and what they need or want to say.
3. Validate other people as a part of my day rather than walk by them or ignore them.
4. Be open to other people so that they feel comfortable approaching me and talking to me.
5. Be kind to other people, even when everyone else is being mean and I need to stand out.
5. Love other people for the things they do in this world.
6. Accept other people for the uniqueness they bring to the table.
7. Learn from other people instead of judging them with my own opinion.
8. Allow other people to be who they are, free from my criticism or disapproving looks.
9. Improve my emotional intelligence so I can maintain my emotions around others who try to push my buttons.
10. Be fair in my interactions with others.
11. Recognize when someone is in distress and do something – no matter how small – to help.
12. Donate more to food banks to help people in my community get the nourishment they need during hard times.
13. Treat people the way I would want to be treated!
14. See past the hurt, fear, or anger, and try to see where people are really coming from.
15. Treat everyone with equal amount of respect, regardless of their status, power, looks, clothes, etc.
16. Don’t hurt other people with my words or actions.
17. Smile more at people I pass by.
18. Take the time to say what is on my mind when it is something positive that may benefit them.
19. Compliment other people I think are worthy of a compliment without holding back.
20. Keep myself open to new relationships with people who come into my life.