The signs of an abusive relationship are there from the beginning, even though they are more subtle. An abuser needs to trap you before they can show their true cards, but their natural self will shine through enough for you to be able to spot that something is wrong. If you want to avoid an abusive relationship, then you have to know what to watch for before you become too invested in the relationship and have a harder time getting out.
Of course, this means that you have to be completely honest with yourself and view your new partner with the eyes of an outsider instead of getting blinded by love. Always remember that you have to take action on your own happiness in love because nobody else can do it for you.
3 Signs To Watch For In Your Partner
An abuser will blame others for their behavior. “You made me do it!” or, “If you just did it the right way, things would be fine!” These types of ridiculous statements may not be said in the early stages of an abusive relationship, but you will still find yourself being blamed for things that went wrong in a more subtle way. Remember, you are not accountable for their behavior, luck, or life. They are. When they start pointing the finger at you early on in the relationship, then you will know that things are only going to get worse.
An abuser will feel entitled in the relationship. They believe that they are more important than you and will make that known later on the relationship as they look after their needs and expect you to look after their needs, but forget about yours altogether. Early warning signs may be doing less for you than you do for them, feeling they deserve more than you do, or believing that they have a right to something that you don’t. Keep your eyes open for a sense of entitlement.
An abuser will be controlling in the relationship. Their abuse is not just something that makes them feel good, it is a way to control you and how you behave, act, and interact. Early warning signs of controlling are having to know where you are at all times, want to be with you when you go out, or correcting the way you behave. And, an abuser will often physically punish you for behaving in a way they don’t approve of. A shove, an intense grip and shake, or an ‘accidental’ punch to the face.
2 Signs To Watch For In Yourself
There are other early signs of an abusive relationship. But, when you know what to watch for in yourself, and allow yourself to admit that you are heading down a dangerous path, you will be more likely to spot inappropriate behavior in your partner and take action on getting yourself out of the relationship before it’s too late.
The biggest thing to watch for is making excuses. If you are making excuses for someone’s behavior, then you are justifying inappropriate behavior. For instance, if your partner yells at you and scares you, then you may justify their behavior by saying they are just having a bad day. But the truth is a rational person would not take it out on you by yelling and scaring you. There should be no need to justify anyone’s behavior when you are dating them.
Another thing to watch for is lying. If you are lying to your friends, family, or even strangers about your partner, then that is a huge warning sign that they are mistreating you and you are in an abusive relationship. This could be a small lie, such as how great your relationship is when it’s really not. Or, it could be a big like, such as how you got your black eye by falling down instead of being punched.