We all know that distance makes the heart grow fonder. When we are together all the time with someone, it can become quite boring and even annoying after a while, depending on the relationship. Being together constantly can take a huge toll on how you feel about each other, which is why experts recommend that giving each other reasons to miss each other may just be the best thing that you can do for your relationship.
When distance is involved, we remember why we love the person so much and, believe it or not, focus on them more than when they are right beside us. It’s like dating all over again when you go back to your own homes at night and think about each other until you get back together. While you may not be able to go to that extreme, nor should you, there are some real good tips on how to make him miss you often enough to keep that spark and interest alive.
1. Create Unexpected Distance
In a relationship, we get into a routine. We leave the house at a certain time in the morning and come back together at a certain time. Rarely do we go off our schedules, so we expect our partner to come back at the time they said they would. While you don’t want to not show up when you are supposed to all the time, doing it once in a while can help remind him of how much he likes being around you and it is a great tip on how to make him miss you.
To do it, don’t call and let him know you are going to be late. Instead, wait about 30 to 45 minutes after you are supposed to be home to send him a message that you are running late at work, or in traffic, or wherever you are. That will be enough time to make him start to wonder where you are and think about you, but not too much time where it will seem rude that you didn’t bother to let him know what was going on.
You can also do this when you are supposed to meet him for a date. When he is sitting around waiting for you, he will feel weird. You two are normally sitting together on a date, and without you there, he will feel the distance between you and start to miss your presence.
Just please don’t do this all the time. If you do, it will become more of a disrespectful thing that makes him angry with you than an unexpected distance that makes him miss you. Rotate this idea with a few of the following ones to maintain the health of your relationship.
2. Insist On Alone Time
Psychologists recommend that you should balance your time together and apart to maintain a sense of well-being as an individual and as a couple; however, most of us don’t find that balance. Between work (that isn’t really alone time), spending time with family and friends, and going to engagements as a couple, it can be hard to find any alone time.
Moreover, many people don’t want to ask for alone time because they feel like they are going to offend their partner. Telling someone that you want to get away from them for a while is not exactly the kindest thing to say, and hurting your man’s feelings is not something that you likely want to do.
Alone time really is beneficial for you if you use it properly. Use it as a time to go over goals, recharge, and connect with yourself in a way you can’t do when other people are present. It will inspire and uplift you if you appreciate it.
But, having alone time is not only beneficial to your well-being, it is one of the top tips on how to make him miss you, because as we know, distance makes the heart grow fonder! It’s important to discuss alone time in a kind and compassionate way.
For instance, tell him that you need some time to work on your individual goals, and that requires you to be alone and have some quiet time to think. Or, you can do what my friend does. She credits going out of town once a month to a weekend yoga retreat as very important to her spiritual health. Since her husband is not into yoga or spirituality, he has no desire to come along and doesn’t get offended because he knows that she finds it important to rebalance and be a better person and wife in general. But, he is reminded of how important she is in his life when she goes, and he misses her presence every time she has to go away.
3. Get Hobbies
An important part of life is hobbies, but when we get into a relationship we can drop them all and get into the habit of not doing extra-curricular activities that we enjoy because we are too busy with our partner and compromising our time. Today is the day to reclaim your hobbies for your own benefit and for the benefit of your relationship.
The trick is to actually do things that you like and to actually do something. That way you will put some distance between the two of you during times that you are not normally apart, benefit from expanding your talents, skills, or knowledge, and have something to show for it when you get back together. You will be able to fill your guy in on what you learned, what you did, and how much fun it was, which is much more exciting than the same old conversations you have day in and day out.
As a side note, expect that he is going to want to go out and do his own thing too. That’s a positive thing! When he is out in the world without you, it gives him a chance to miss you and the comfortable and close relationship that you have. He may find himself around people who he doesn’t like as much as you, which is a huge bonus for you. Or, he may find himself around people that he doesn’t click with as much as you, which is also a huge bonus for you when it comes to him missing you. And, if he does have fun and enjoy the people he is with, then it still creates some distance from you and gives him a chance to miss you.
4. Keep Your Identity (This Is Really Important!)
You may not have thought about this before, but this is an important tip on how to make him miss you. If you are too needy and depend on him to help you make decisions or get through life, then he’s not going to miss you when you are gone – he’s going to enjoy the time you are gone and dread the time when you come back!
Sorry, I know it’s harsh to think about, but it’s true. And if you want him to miss you, then you need to recognize that being needy is one of the worst things you can do for that to happen.
How do you know if you’ve lost your identity?
– You depend on him to help you make decisions.
– You hate being by yourself and would rather be joined at the hip with him all the time.
– You feel lost when he is gone.
– You don’t have anything you like to do by yourself when he’s around so you are bored!
– You call him or text him at least once an hour.
The truth is that if you have lost your identity, then you will feel like your relationship, and your man, is the reason you are living. That’s going to scare the hell out of any man. You will have forgotten that you are your own person in life on your own path and, that no matter how scary it can be at times, you are the only one who you will be with every second of your life. It’s important to maintain your identity.
5. Make Your Relationship Amazing
We miss the people whom we have the most fun with. Therefore, if you are argumentative, miserable, bossy, or boring, he’s not going to miss you when you’re gone. But, if you are fun to be around and make him feel great about himself, then he’s definitely going to miss you. This includes in and out of the bedroom.
In other words, you need to create the healthiest relationship you can. That means you need to work on the relationship and maintain it so that things don’t go south and start to become more frustrating or negative than positive.
Don’t hope that things are going to stay amazing if you are currently in a great relationship. And don’t hope things are going to get better if you are in an unhappy relationship. Hope does nothing for your relationship. Action does. You have to put in the work to make the relationship strong and happy, and if you are not willing to do that, then you don’t get to complain when things go south – and they will go south. Relationships take work to stay healthy.
6. Wear A Unique Scent
Our sense of smell can remind us of the best and worst times. When it comes to memories, it is the sense mostly closed linked to our experiences. It can bring us back to a wonderful memory and cause us to miss something or someone from that memory. Use your man’s nose to your advantage and get yourself a unique scent that will remind of him of you during your best times together.
You may want to have a unique scent for your date nights and one for your holidays, or you may want to have a unique scent for when you get busy in the bedroom. That scent can be lightly sprayed on something when you are gone, and if he catches a whiff of it, you will be the first thing to enter his mind. The more he associates that scent with good times, the more he will miss you.
7. Always Leave On A High Note
Make a sensuous kiss or a loving hug your goodbye routine. Leaving on a high note will linger in both your minds and cause you to both look forward to seeing each other again.
Think about the times when you are fighting. Do you really want to see him again and snuggle up with him? Do you think he wants to see you? Doubtful! Bad feelings make distance a relief. Good feelings make distance more of a pain than a pleasure, which will make him want to be around you again.
8. Send Him Pics Or Videos Of You Having Fun
Remind him that you have a life outside of your relationship and send him pics or videos of you having fun either by yourself or with other people. Doing this will keep you in his mind as he thinks about how much he enjoys being around you.
You can even send pics or videos of inside jokes that you have. It will help you feel more connected, even though you are apart, and remind him of why he enjoys being around you too. He will miss you when he feels that connection and realizes that he has to wait hours or even days to see you again.
9. Send Support When You Are Apart
Being supportive is a great way to remind him of why he is in a relationship with you and enjoys being around you. Therefore, when he rants about his jerk boss or complains about where he is at, be supportive. Respond in a supportive way. Be on his side. Make him feel like he’s not alone in the world when he feels alone in the world. Doing that will make him wish that you – the one person who always gets him and supports him – was by his side. And, when he does get home to you, he will feel relieved that he’s back around his number one fan and companion.
10. Have A Lot Of New Experiences Together
Don’t go out for date night to your favorite restaurant all the time. Form a closer bond by sharing new experiences together that will make you miss your time together when you have to be apart.
Yes, finding routine activities that you can do together is a great tip on how to make him miss you when you are not around to do them with him, but doing something new can add a ton of excitement in your relationship that makes you stand out more to each other than when you do the same thing day in and day out. It can reignite the spark that you once you felt and create that longing to be together like you had when you first started dating.
Therefore, go on vacation together. Try a new activity together. Go to a class together. Spend time learning and growing together. If you do, you will form a bond that makes him miss you the next morning when you have to go to work or school.