December 23, 2015

Relationship Advice For Men: Is She Upset With You And Why?

Not sure if your girlfriend or wife is mad at you? You are not alone! A lot of men are not able to read the signs of an upset woman, and, unfortunately, that just makes things worse in the relationship. It makes women feel as if their men don’t care when they can’t detect that they are upset. And, women will often hold grudges because their men just can’t figure it all out. You better believe that those grudges are going to come up again next time she is upset, so you might as well just figure it out now and work through the problem.

This article has some relationship advice for men who are struggling to figure out if their woman is upset and why she would be upset in the first place. Don’t worry if your woman is different from many other women, you will still be able to tell if she is upset using the following insights.

5 Questions To Ask Yourself First

The following 5 questions will give you an indication if she’s mad at you and what you can do to find out why.

Question 1: Is She Not Talking To You?

If she is not responding to you at all, then she is upset. Women don’t just go mute because they are reflecting about things in their own head. If they are mad at someone, they either clam up or yell, and when you are getting the silent treatment, it is because she doesn’t think it is worth it to talk to you. She doesn’t think you will understand or resonate with her, and she doesn’t want to risk you making her feel bad or making her more upset.

Your best bet? Apologize for anything that you have done, but let her know that you would like to know what it is. She may be pissed that you don’t know, but at least you are aware that you hurt her, and the chances are good she will open up and let you know what is on her mind.

Question 2: Are Her Responses Short?

Are you getting yes and no answers without a lot of detail in her responses? This isn’t limited to speech. She may be texting you short and brief messages.

If so, she is upset for some reason. Women elaborate. It’s what they do. They don’t just say yes or no and move on with their day. They discuss things, add things, and talk about things that are on their mind. Unless you have a woman who always keeps it short (I have yet to meet one), then something is upsetting her.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that she is upset with you. She could be upset with something someone else said or did and feel bad about herself. She might not know what to say to you so that she doesn’t come across as rude, needy or some other unattractive trait. Whatever it is, you need to give her permission to openly discuss something with you so that she can feel comfortable talking to you.

Question 3: Are You Getting Delayed Messages?

Is she taking forever to respond to you? Or, is she ignoring your phone calls and texts completely? If she is, then you have done something to really piss her off. If she’s pissed off with you, then she won’t bother answering you right away. She won’t even want to deal with it.

It’s best not to let this blow over. Many guys try to pretend like nothing is wrong, but that is a bad idea. Whatever is upsetting her will be held onto until you talk about. So, ask her what is wrong, and then ask her again when she doesn’t want to talk about it. If she refuses to talk to you, let her know that you want her to tell you when she’s ready to talk, and believe me – she will take the opportunity in a few hours.

Question 4: Is She Being Fake?

Is she laughing in a fake way or acting in an exaggerated way? Maybe she’s talking too loud and you feel as though she is being sarcastic. If she is, then she’s unhappy with you, for some reason, and has decided to resort to a technique that makes her feel better about the situation.

The chances are good that she has been mad at you for a while if this is happening. Maybe she tried talking to you about it before, or maybe she gave you one of the signs from above, but whatever she did, you didn’t catch on. So now she is being extremely fake so that she can stop being sad and start getting the upper hand by treating you like something less than you are.

Question 5: Are You Getting Dirty Looks?

If she isn’t ignoring you, being short with you, delaying her answers to you, or being fake, then pay attention for dirty looks. Rolling of the eyes, annoyed looks, exasperated looks, and general looks of distaste are all signs that she is upset with you.

She’s probably beyond mad at this point and accepting that you are not all she wanted in a partner. Maybe you have done the same thing over and over again to hurt her. Maybe you don’t listen to her and respond to her when she needs you to. Whatever it is, she’s had it with trying to get her message across to you.

She’s Clearly Upset – What Do I Do Now?

When it comes to relationship advice for men, this little bit of insight is on the top of the list: In every situation, asking her what is wrong can help. Don’t try to brush things off. It may work for you, but women need to talk things through in order to feel better, and if you brush it under the rug, it will live inside of her and fester and become a bigger problem than it needs to be.

Clearly let her know that you want to talk to her about what is bothering her and resolve it because you love her. The chances are good she will try talking to you about what is bothering her. If not, as said, let her know that she can talk to you whenever she wants to and you will be ready to listen.

The trick is that you have to listen. You can’t blow her off or finish watching TV first. You have to take the time to show her how important her feelings are to you and how willing you are to fix whatever is wrong.

If she already feels like she’s tried talking to you and you haven’t listened, then you have to acknowledge that too before she will feel comfortable trying again. I know plenty of women who have beaten down the same concern of theirs over and over again with their man only to come to the conclusion that he doesn’t care about it and there is no reason to continue trying. Therefore, you have to make it clear that she needs to try again.

Is Something Else Going On? Some More Questions You Need To Ask

She may not be upset with you. She may be upset with herself, and you are just getting the feeling that she is upset with you. How can you tell if she’s upset with herself? Following are some more questions to ask.

Question 1: Is She Looking At The Ground Or Hanging Her Head Down?

If you ask her what is wrong and she says nothing and then looks at the ground, there is a good chance that she is feeling bad about something. That is a sign that she is feeling low in confidence or unsure about something, and she may be debating whether she should tell you what she is thinking or feeling or not.

Don’t let your mind go to cheating. If you do, you will give out an energy that is less than inviting for her to open up to. This could just be about something she feels embarrassed about.

It’s important that you make her feel very comfortable and let her know that she can tell you anything without you reacting poorly or judging her. The chances are good she wants to get it off her chest, but she just doesn’t feel comfortable enough to do so.

Question 2: Does She Look Tired?

Does she always look tired when you talk to her? Does she rub her temple, close her eyes, and lack the energy that she once had? If yes, and it has been going on for a little while, then your relationship may be in trouble. This is especially true if she is being normal around other people, but finds your company exhausting.

If you are draining her energy, then your energy is negative for her to be around. You may be a negative person who makes her feel bad. You may be a jerk that makes her feel beat down and she’s tired of it. Or, she may have figured out that you are not someone she wants to be with and she’s exhausted putting up with you in her life. (Harsh, but true.)

Whatever it is, you need to find out the truth. It’s better you know than not. You may have an opportunity to fix whatever is wrong if you know, but if you don’t know, the chances are good she will just end up breaking up with you sooner than later.

Keep in mind, if she is like this around everyone, then she’s probably depressed. If that is the case, you need to talk to her about it and get her help. There’s no reason she should live with depression and not try to get help.

Question 3: Is She Harassing You?

Is she constantly asking you questions or bothering you about what you are doing? Does she question what you say to her and disbelieve you when you tell her what you have been doing? If so, then she doesn’t trust you.

If you have given her a reason not to trust you, then you need to work through the issue and figure out what she needs in order to feel trust with you. This isn’t that hard. If you are in a committed relationship with her, then just be honest about what you do and how you feel. That’s it. Be honest and let her in on your entire life, and the trust will start to build back up.

If you are thinking, “Why should I have to tell her everything?” then there may be something that you don’t want her to know. Someone who has nothing to hide, hides nothing. They don’t get defensive about sharing their life with someone they love because there is nothing that they couldn’t share.

If you have not given her a reason not to trust you, and you are an open book with her, then you’ve got yourself a jealous woman. Unfortunately, that is her issue, and no matter what you do, she will be suspicious of you and what you say.

That level of mistrust is hard on you and it’s hard on her. She will honestly feel as though you are lying to her, and that kind of stress is not good for her health or happiness.

Even if you think you can handle the accusations and harassment, you may still want to go to a therapist. A relationship without mistrust is so much better. It is a place of love and happiness and freedom, and it is imperative to real satisfaction in the relationship.

Question 4: Does She Get Upset With Your Answers About Her

If your woman asks you what she looks like and you say ‘fine’, does she get upset? If she asks you to rate her on a scale of 1 to 10 and you say 9, does she get upset? If she asks you if she is fat and you don’t respond for a few seconds, does she get upset?

If she does get upset, even if you try to assure her that she is a 10 in your mind, then this kind of behavior is not about you, it is about her. She is insecure with herself and she is relying on you to make her feel better. Unfortunately, you can’t because she still feels insecure and she’s the only one who can really reassure herself.

Following is another bit of relationship advice for men that will help improve every relationship: Women think they are fat. They think they are imperfect. They think they have flaws that make them less than who they feel they are. Why? Because they have been told this over and over again by men who put imperfect women down, media who only praise perfect looking women, and movies that showcase beautiful woman after beautiful woman.

Women feel like they have to live up to a certain standard to be good enough, and until that stigma gets crushed, they need their man to reassure them that they are good enough. Their man is the only person they can depend on to constantly tell them how great they are and how awesome their body is. That’s why you need to be consistent with your praise on her. If you slip up even once out of anger or frustration, you will verify what she thinks about herself – what she thinks everyone thinks about her, and it will take a lot of ‘you are gorgeous’ to make her believe that you really think she is.

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