When it comes to relationship advice from men, you can find it everywhere. More and more blogs and vlogs are popping up with men who got something to say about relationships, and more and more eBooks are also coming out with advice from men for both men and women. But, are some men making things worse for you? The fact is that there are plenty of men out there who can help you, but there are also plenty of men out there who are giving relationship advice that could hurt you in a big way.
Relationship Advice From Men For Women
If you are a woman, then I highly recommend taking relationship advice from men. Sometimes a woman can teach you how she fixed an aspect of her relationship and help you understand where you are going wrong in yours and what you need to do to fix it, but the advice from a man will be much more valuable in the long run.
Men know how men think and, for the most part, what men want. They may not understand women too well, but they do understand how men think because they are one! Moreover, they’ve hung around men as friends. They’ve had men raise them, teach them what they know, and mold them into the men they are today. All of that adds up to one thing – much more insight into a man that a woman could ever give you.
For instance, research shows that while men are better at some things, women are better at intuitively understanding things without having to put a lot of thought into it first. For instance, during a fight, a woman might see the situation for what it is and start to immediately argue her point with her man. But, men process information differently, and a woman yelling in a man’s ear while he is still processing the information is not going to help anything. Understanding how men work through problems can help a woman understand a situation from a male’s point of view and approach it in a more beneficial way.
However, there are times that relationship advice from men for women can be a terrible thing. For instance, an abusive father can give a ton of relationship advice to his daughter, but it’s all from his unhealthy point of view. If she hears it enough, she can go on to use it in her relationships. And sometimes, unhealthy advice from a well-intentioned male can create a very negative relationship. This happens more than you think!
For instance, a friend of mine was taught from a young age by her father that she is supposed to have kids, take care of the home, and take care of her husband, no matter what. He was a kind man who was very religious, and I think he thought he was teaching her how to be a loving wife to a kind man. Unfortunately, he passed away before she got married, but the belief that she was meant to have kids and stick by her man’s side no matter what was formed a long time ago, and now she is a marriage where she is being abused and cheated on, but she feels like it is her duty to stand by her man’s side!
I’m not saying that women are naive and will be influenced easily, but I am saying that if you hear the same unhealthy relationship advice over and over again from one person or a combination of people, you may start to believe it. That’s why women need to find credible relationship advice from men who know what they are talking about, are in healthy relationships themselves, and give advice that uplifts, strengthens, and promotes more happiness in the woman and the relationship.
Relationship Advice From Men For Men
If you are a man, this can be tough. There are a lot of guys out there giving bad relationship advice to men.
A lot of male relationship ‘gurus’ are teaching guys the tricks to keep women, but the advice is on how to manipulate women and keep control over them. Don’t get me wrong, many of these guys are smart! They understand psychology and know how to manipulate women in a way that keeps them ‘in line’, but in the long run, the women are being affected negatively by it and the relationship will eventually suffer.
For instance, some men will tell you to attack a woman’s self-worth. Making her feel like she is ‘less than’ and needs a man in her life will cause her to stay in a relationship even when it’s bad because she feels like she needs to stay in it, but that’s not part of a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship is where both people encourage each other, not bring each other down, and eventually, her feelings of not being worthy will end up affecting the relationship in a very negative way.
If a man wants to understand women better, it’s best he seeks his advice from a woman! Just as most men understand men better than women, most women understand women better than men. If you want inside information into why your girlfriend or wife is acting the way she is, what you can do to fix the situation, and how you can move forward in a way that pleases you both, then a woman is often a better person to turn to for advice.
4 Things To Think About When It Comes To Relationship Advice From Men
Before you take any kind of relationship advice from any man, it’s important to be able to see when bad relationship advice is likely. For both sexes, there are some things to keep in mind.
1. Men Who Have Experienced Bad Relationships Don’t Always Give Great Advice
Some men have been in bad relationships, learned from them, and have a lot of wisdom when it comes to relationships, how men act, how women act, and what works and doesn’t. These are the men that don’t let their bad relationships and breakups bring them down but, rather, help them have more successful relationships in the future. These are the men that are worth listening to so that you can get their knowledge without making their mistakes.
However, some men have been hurt by women and relationships, and they leave a relationship feeling betrayed, used, or abused in some way. Obviously, their pain affects their viewpoint towards what a healthy relationship looks like. For a lack of better words, they have been broken, and they are not capable of having a healthy relationship themselves, never mind giving out healthy relationship advice.
Accepting advice from a man who is broken is just a bad idea! I have seen some relationship advice from men who are broken that is misguided and completely not helpful. I’ve also seen some from men who are really out to hurt women, not help them, and they are doing everything in their power to hurt women, not help relationships grow stronger.
2. Men Who Are Players Give Good Advice In One Respect And Bad In Another
Some men are cheaters and players, and they don’t really understand what a healthy relationship is all about. They do understand how to play women – really well, so that is the advice that they give out. And, if you want advice on how to manipulate women, they are your best bet for it.
But, keep in mind that even though their advice may work in some cases to make women feel bad, feel confused, or give up on trying to work through problems, that doesn’t mean their advice will lead to a healthy relationship. It will damage her, you, and your relationship in the long term, and you may lose her before you have a chance to get some actual relationship advice that helps you fix things.
3. Men With No Experience Don’t Always Have Great Advice
Some men intuitively understand how to have a great relationship, what women want, how to make them happy, how to make themselves happy, and all those other great things that can help you have an awesome relationship. But, these men are few and far between.
Even men who have gone to school for things such as relationship counseling, may not have the best advice for you and your relationship. They may be able to quote off some things they’ve learned, but that doesn’t mean they can help you. It simply means they have read the books, learned the theory, and can repeat what they know is right.
This is true for any profession. I have a friend with Multiple Sclerosis, who sees a ‘specialist’ once a year. This specialist knows nothing about MS beyond what he’s learned in school. In fact, every year he gives my friend the exact same speech about what MS is and what it is doing to his body – as if he is giving a class on MS with pre-written information. He knows little about holistic aspects of treating MS, and he doesn’t see his patients as unique. Instead, he is very focused on what he has learned and what he thinks people need to do because of the education he has received.
My point is that even the best-educated person can’t always give great advice without firsthand experience or ability to sympathize with other people and understand things on a level that doesn’t require experience (which is not very common). You can’t give advice on things you simply don’t understand on an experience level. The best kind of relationship advice comes from men or women who have experience in relationships, know what a healthy relationship is like and how to get there, and can adapt their advice to you and your relationship.
4. Some Men Are Sexist
When a man thinks he is the stronger sex, what kind of relationship advice do you think he’s going to give? It’s likely going to be advice that puts women down, even if it is done in a nice way where he’s trying not to say exactly how he feels.
I was on Twitter the other day, and a man said that he felt sorry for men who take relationship advice from women. HIs theory was ‘you don’t solicit fishing advice from the fish’. He’s a perfect example of who you should NOT take relationship advice from! It’s obvious that he views women as inferior and incapable of sharing what they want and need from a man and how to treat a woman. Another man responded that he felt worse for men who were getting their relationship advice from men because too many men ‘fish’ with dynamite!
The problem is that sexist men do attract women to them. For example, one of my male friends had a sexist friend who happened to be good looking and, despite his crappy attitude towards women, was able to attract women. Despite him putting women down, both behind their backs and in front of their face, and despite treating women as if they were not able to comprehend things like a man could, he still got women. That led my friend to believe that his advice was solid. This advice included things like, “Women don’t want to think for themselves, so you have to think for them,” and, “It’s important to remind women that they are supposed to be cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids.”
The problem was that this sexist jerk was only able to attract women who had self-esteem issues, and his relationships always ended once the women were able to value themselves more. It took a long time for my friend to see that his friend’s relationship advice was advice that would never get him in a happy relationship because he didn’t understand how to be in a happy relationship.
Which Men Should You (Or Should You Not) Listen To?
If the relationship advice is negative, then don’t take it. Nobody should be advising you to play games, treat someone poorly, or trick someone in any way.
Moreover, the advice should be coming from a man who is in a healthy relationship or has learned, from previous bad relationships, what works and what doesn’t for keeping a relationship healthy and strong.
If you meet a man who is extremely confident with his relationship advice but incapable of keeping a relationship intact, don’t take his advice! He may be very convincing, but if things are not working out for him, his confidence is coming from somewhere unhealthy. He may think he’s the best and have all the answers, but the proof is in his relationships. He may just have blinders on about his relationship abilities, and be unwilling to learn new and healthy ways of approaching his relationship.
If the man is young, then you may want to think about not taking his relationship advice too seriously. Older men can become bitter – and those aren’t the men you want any type of life advice from, but many older men in happy relationships are much more beneficial to listen to that a younger man. They have experienced more obstacles and issues, and they have a clearer vision of what type of relationship it takes to work through them, and how to develop that type of relationship.