How to get to know someone better?
When you want to get to know someone better, you don’t want to ask extremely personal questions, but you do want to get to the heart of who they are, what they value, and whether or not you would get along with them. Extremely personal questions can scare someone away and make them dislike you. Questions that don’t seem that personal, on the other hand, can help you learn something about someone and increase the trust and bond you have with them, which helps you form a closer relationship with them.
Always remember that people like to talk about themselves. Given the opportunity, they would rather talk about themselves and what they like or dislike rather than listen to you talk about yourself and what you like or dislike. Therefore, don’t be afraid to ask someone questions! The chances are very high that they want to share their answers. Following are 15 questions to get to know someone that will help you discover more about them because they will enjoy answering them.
1. Where Did You Go To College?
You can get a ton of information about someone simply by asking them where they went to school. Not everyone went to college, and, usually, people will explain why they didn’t go to college and what they did instead. And, everyone who has gone to college looks back on it with both fond and not so fond memories, and they will have some interesting stories to share.
In both cases, there is a lot to talk about. The one question about where they went to school can lead into a bunch of other questions, such as why they chose the classes they did, how they came to the decision to not go to school, and even the influence of people around them how it affected them.
2. Do You Know Of Any Good Restaurants Around Here?
Everyone will have an answer to this question, and it will give insight into their tastes, likes, and dislikes when it comes to food and service. Usually, people will not just tell you where the restaurant is, but they will tell you about the best dish on the menu, the atmosphere of the place, how the waiters and waitresses act, and much more about the experience they have at the restaurant.
The bottom line is you will learn what their taste in food is and what kind of atmosphere they like to be in. For instance, if their favorite restaurant is a loud bar that serves their favorite drink on a Wednesday night, then you know that they like to socialize and be around others. If their favorite restaurant is an upscale place that is expensive, then you know that they prefer to be in a more elegant atmosphere and don’t mind spending a lot of money on a good meal.
3. What Do You Normally Do On Weekends?
A lot of people are working for the weekend. In other words, they look forward to their weekends and their relaxation time. The thing is not everybody does the same thing. Some people like to travel on the weekends while others like to spend their time with family. Asking someone what they normally do on weekends will give insight into how they enjoy spending their free time (what they value most), as well as insight into their life and who they are. Even the people who have to work on the weekends will have an answer to this question because they likely have one or two days off during the week that they treat as a weekend.
4. Where’s The Last Place You Went On Vacation?
If you are going to ask this question, be prepared for a very long answer. I have never met somebody who doesn’t like to talk about where their last vacation was in great detail. You may even get shown some pictures.
Vacations are valuable to people, and they are memorable. They are not part of the everyday routine. They are an experience that makes life brighter and more fun, so they stand out in people’s minds as a time that they felt good and possibly even learned a little about themselves. You will probably hear many different things about the places they went, what they learned, what they experienced, and why they do or do not want to go back.
5. What Are Your Plans For The Night?
This question only works if you’re talking to someone during the day. Most people will be more than willing to give insight into what they have planned for the night.
This question is often asked by servers at restaurants as the bill is being paid. They know that people are more than willing to talk about what they are doing next, and most people are looking forward to what they are doing next. So, asking someone what their plans are for the night are will allow them to talk about things they are looking forward to doing, and give insight into them in one way or the other.
6. What Do You Think Of The Weather?
This may not be one of the most popular questions to get to know someone, but it should be! I have never met somebody who does not talk and talk and talk after I ask them what they think about the weather. The weather is, and always will be, a hot topic for people.
You’ll definitely learn about what kind of whether they prefer, but you will also learn why they prefer that weather. Maybe they enjoy gardening and prefer sunny days that they can get out there and do it. Or maybe they enjoy the rain so that they can stay inside. Or maybe they enjoy snow so that they can go skiing. The point is that they will definitely tell you why they enjoy the weather they love, are you will learn some more about them.
7. What Are Your Plans For Next Month?
We all have our next month planned out in advance. We may have special occasions coming up or maybe a vacation coming up soon, and we also have goals that we want to meet for the next month. The point is that we all have plans for the future in some respect, and by asking someone this question you can learn a little bit about them and what their life is like, and you may even learn a little about their goals, hopes, and wishes in life.
None of us know what the future holds, but we all know what we hope it holds. And that’s what they are going to tell you when you ask them this question.
8. Do You Like Mornings Or Evenings Better?
This is one of those questions to get to know someone that everyone will have a solid preference on. Some of us enjoy waking up and celebrating a new day, while some of us enjoy the end of the day where we get to relax and unwind. Moreover, we enjoy it for certain reasons. There are many different reasons as there are people, so this question will give you some real insight into who they are and what they value.
For example, many people I know are entrepreneurs and enjoy the morning because it is full of opportunity. They enjoy the rush of waking up and tackling what they need to get done to move a step further towards their goals. Other people I know enjoy the evening because they dislike their job and like their family. They enjoy getting their work done and getting to spend time with their loved ones.
9. Where Is Your Accent From?
We all have a slightly different accent depending on where we were raised and even where our parents were raised. Asking someone what their accent is should get them talking about where they are from, where they lived, or who has influenced them to talk that way. It’s just a simple question, but it will give you a lot of insight into their life. It may even give insight into how they feel about their current life.
For example, if you hear a very distinct accent, then they may have recently moved from somewhere else. They may have a lot to say about being homesick, where they are from, and what they think about the current place they are.
10. Do You Have A Big Family?
Asking someone specific questions about their family can be a little personal, but asking if they have a big family is a legit question that most people gladly answer. They will also give insight into what their family is like, where they live, and how often they get together. Information about their family is important because it can teach you a lot about who they are, what they value, and what they really dislike.
I have a friend who feels that everybody is born into a family that they have some conflict with on some level. She doesn’t seem to be entirely wrong! And, people like to share what those differences are so that they can prove how right they are and how wrong their family is. In short, you will get a lot of info with this question.
11. What Makes You Happy?
We all know what makes us happy, so asking someone makes them happy gives insight into what they enjoy doing and value. Depending on their mood, where you are, what kind of relationship you currently have with them, and many other things, you could get any kind of answer to this. They may tell you what makes them happy in their relationships, on their days off, at work, or wherever they feel is an applicable answer. In other words, this is one of the questions to get to know someone that you can modify depending on where you are.
For instance, if you are at work, then ask them what makes them happy at work. Or, if you are out for drinks, then ask them what makes him happiest when they are out to having drinks. They will always have an answer to any question that you ask in any circumstance, so this is a great question to get to know them better.
12. What’s The Worst Gift You’ve Ever Gotten?
You could ask them what the best gift they ever got, but asking them what the worst gift they ever gotten will give you a lot of insight into who they are. And they will want to talk about it. They may teach you a lot about their relationships with other people. They may teach you a lot about what they value and what they absolutely do not value. They may even teach you how they feel about themselves as they talk about why they got the gift. You can really learn a lot about someone from this seemingly innocent question.
13. If You Could Have On Superpower, What Would It Be?
This is just a fun question that people want to answer, but it will give you a lot of insight into them. For instance, if someone wants to have x-ray vision, then they probably like to know what’s going on in other people’s lives. If they would like to transport themselves instantly, then they may want to experience more out of life, or they may just want to get things done faster. They will tell you why they would want a certain superpower, and you can read between the lines to get more information.
14. Where Do You Hope To Be In 5 Years From Now?
Want some insight into their personal goals, fears, worries, hopes, and more? This question will give you that. Most people won’t feel like it is too personal because it is a pretty standard question, so they will be more than willing to give you some insight into what they value.
I asked this question when I was sitting beside a lady at work that I didn’t really know. I had assumptions about her, but it turned out I was way off base! She told me that she hoped her novel that she was working on would be popular enough to allow her to leave the job we were at and become a full-time writer. Then she shared what the genre she enjoyed writing – science fiction, which I never expected from her. I learned a lot about her that day and never viewed her in the same way.
15. What Do You Like Least About People?
This question will give you some insight into how they view other people and even how they view themselves. They may answer with something simple, like having to talk to them. But, they may be more vocal about it and tell you how stupid everyone is and how annoying being out with others can be, which can be a huge indicator that they are judgmental of others. People like to talk about what they don’t like, so the chances are good that you will get a lot of insight into what they value and how they think.