July 3, 2016

20 Deep Questions That Will Help You Understand Yourself Better

There are a lot of people who don’t know themselves. They can’t say who they are, what they want, what’s holding them back in life, and whether or not they are happy. Does that sound like you?

If you want to understand yourself, you have to focus on yourself. The best way to focus on yourself is to ask yourself some questions. The right questions can help you dig into who you are and who you want to be. The right questions can help you discover your life purpose, what will make you happy, what you really want out of life, and all the other things that you want to know.

Following are 20 deep questions that will help you understand yourself better. The more you ask them, the better. This is because every time you ask yourself a deep question, your awareness needs to turn on and find an answer. The more you tune into your awareness, the more aware you will be about yourself. And as a bonus, you will start to understand others better too.

1. If I wasn’t worried about being judged, what would I think about myself?

A lot of us judge ourselves based on what others think. If a friend thinks we are too driven, then we can start to think we are too driven. That affects everything we know about ourselves and messes up our ability to understand what we really want, so it’s important to understand what we think about ourselves without the judgment of other people clouding the real answer.

2. If I wasn’t worried about being judged, what would I do?

Being judged doesn’t just affect what we think about ourselves, it also affects what we will do. We may hold back on our dreams and goals. We may not try to date the type of people we are interested in. We may not go for that job interview. But, when we don’t let other people’s judgments affect us, we are more willing to recognize what would benefit us and our lives, and then do those things.

3. Does it really matter what others think about me?

Knowing that you are judged by different people in your life, think about how important their opinions are. Does it really matter what they think about you? Does their perception of you affect who you truly are? Should they have control over how happy, motivated, or loved you feel? Hint: The answer is no. What matters most is what you think about yourself. If you are a good person and doing things that resonate with you as important, then that is what should matter.

4. Am I using my time wisely?

You only have so many days left to be alive. Are you using your time wisely or are you sitting around wasting your life away? Think about how you are using your time in your relationships and think about how you are using your time when it comes to experiencing life. Are you doing things that matter to you or are you doing things that don’t matter at all? The answers could motivate you to change up your life!

5. If I were to die tomorrow, what would I regret most?

Nobody wants to think about dying tomorrow, but this is one of those deep questions that will give you a lot of insight into what matters most to you. The answer you get – the first answer that springs to mind – is what matters to you. If you would regret not spending more time with your family, then you relationships matter and you need to put your focus on them. If you would regret not looking after your health, then your health matters to you and you need to put more focus on that.

6. Do I give as much as I take?

How do other people see you? How compassionate are you? This is one of those deep questions that will help you figure that out. Compassionate, loving, and kind people give as much or more than they take. If you find yourself becoming aware that you are not giving much at all, then you may be viewed as egotistical; in fact, you may be egotistical! That’s something that will affect your entire life negatively, so it’s something that needs to be worked on.

7. What habit do I wish I could get rid of?

Your habits define your life. What you do each day adds up to what will happen to you. For instance, if you eat fast food every day, then that affects your health, weight, and energy – among other things. So, what habit do you subconsciously know is affecting you negatively? Be honest with yourself and the answer will come easily, then you just need to figure out how to take action on eliminating it.

8. If I had to teach a life skill, what would it be?

Do you want to know what you really feel you are good at? This is the question to ask! It will help you discover at least one thing about yourself that you think you know well. It’s a great way to remind yourself that you got some skills and value in the world. And it can help motivate you to acquire more.

9. What are the three words that define how I treat other people?

Everyday interactions can become so common that we don’t even realize how we are treating the people we interact with. We may ignore the cashier at the coffee shop, suck up to our boss, lack compassion for the needy in our life, and judge our family members without even thinking about it. While you may treat different people differently, think of three words that sum up how you treat other people in general. If they aren’t words that would describe how you want to be treated, this can really help you become more aware of your actions in your everyday interactions.

10. What are the three words that define how I treat myself?

Being bad to ourselves can become habitual. We can talk negatively to ourselves, overwork ourselves, and be the meanest bully that we run into all day long. Have you ever really sat down and thought about how you treat yourself? This is one of those deep questions that will help you come up with major awareness on yourself. You may not like the words you come up with. And, they may help you understand why you feel the way you do about yourself.

11. Do I want to do what is right?

Talk about deep questions! This question requires you to be brutally honest. It takes a deep look at your ethics and morals, and it can help you understand why you may be having problems in your life. The fact is that if you don’t want to do what is right, you won’t, and it will affect your relationships, happiness, health, and success. If you answer no, then it’s time to think about why that is and work on fixing whatever is causing you to avoid doing the right thing for yourself, others, and the world around you.

12. What fears are holding me back?

Fear can become a part of who we are. In other words, we can stop recognizing it as fear and start believing that is ‘just who we are.’ But, once you recognize your fears, you will see what is holding you back from the life you want. For example, if you fear the rejection of acceptance, then you may hold yourself back from making friends, going on dates, asking people to do things, and working on getting a promotion. Just that one fear can limit you in many different ways.

13. Am I a bad person?

If you beat yourself up at all, this is one of those deep questions that will help you understand just how awesome you are or want to be. It does require that you be honest, though. You have to admit if you are treating other people unfairly or manipulating things to get your way. You have to admit if you are doing things unethically to get what you want. You have to admit if you are hurting other people.

You may find that you are an awesome person who doesn’t deserve to be beaten up or put down, which will help you be kinder to yourself and demand other people treat you with the respect you deserve.

14. Do I accept responsibility for my emotional well-being?

You don’t always have a choice about where you are. Sometimes you need to do things that you know are right. For instance, you may have moved home with your mother because no one else could take care of her. But, you do always have a choice about your emotional well-being. This question will help you understand if you are blaming other people for your emotional well-being or taking responsibility for it. If you are blaming other people, you will be quick to answer ‘other people always make me feel bad’ or ‘I can’t be happy because…’

But, the fact is that unless you have a medical condition that is affecting your mood and emotions, you CAN be happy, feel good, feel excited, and love life no matter where you are in it. You are responsible for your perceptions, attitudes, and beliefs, which all play a part in your emotional well-being. Do you accept responsibility for how you feel now? Should you start?

15. Am I doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?

So many people wonder why they are not getting anything better in life. This is one of those deep questions that will make you reflect on why you are or are not getting what you want out of life. If you are not changing your thoughts, habits, and day-to-day activities, then how can your life change?

16. Do I own my story?

Your story is what makes you who you are. The good and the bad. The right and the wrong. The unwanted and the wanted. All of the things that have happened to you have blended together to affect your beliefs and attitudes in life. Do you own your story or are you ignoring it? Are you pretending it is someone else’s story?

Don’t be ashamed of the things you have done. Use your past to write your future story. Use it to remind you of what you do and don’t want in your life and help you avoid mistakes that will cause you to end up where you don’t want to be.

17. Am I hurting inside?

You may not know how much you are hurting. This is one of the deep questions that is important to answer. Why? Because when you are hurting, you will do stupid things. You will try to make other people feel bad. You will try to hurt other people the way you hurt. You will take out your pain on people who don’t deserve it, including yourself. Therefore, you need to ask yourself if you are struggling with something that is causing you pain and damaging you and your ability to live life to the fullest. And if you find something, you need to figure out a way to get rid of that pain.

18. Do I love myself?

This is another one of those deep questions that will help you understand more about how you feel about yourself. Your answer should be YES! So, if you are not sure, or quickly come up with the answer ‘no’, then that is a good sign that you are not recognizing your worth, doing things that are good for yourself, or maintaining relationships that help you understand your value.

19. Do I meet hate with hate or love?

I guarantee you get some hate in your day. It may be from your coworkers, strangers, or family, but hate is something that will always be there. How do you react to it? Your answer is very important.

If you react to hate with hate – or some other negative reaction, then you are doing yourself a disservice. You are letting someone else’s hate affect your happiness and who you are, and you are putting out negative energy into the world that is affecting other people negatively too. If you react to hate with love, then you contributing to your mental health and the health of the world in a positive way.

20. What am I hiding from other people?

The answer to this question will help you figure out what you are ashamed of. This is important to know! The stuff you are ashamed of can either be negative things that you need to eliminate from your life, or it could be stuff that makes up who you are but is met with judgment by other people. You need to eliminate the negative things from your life in order to feel good about yourself. And you need to own up to who you are, despite other people’s judgments, in order to feel good about yourself.

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