November 12, 2015

20 Tips On Building Confidence The Easy Way

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a high sense of confidence naturally? We would easily take the hard steps in life that lead us to whatever we want. Unfortunately, through negative experiences, negative relationships, and negative self-talk, confidence gets beaten down to a pulp.

If you are being held back from the life you want because of fear or low confidence, then building confidence is definitely something you need to focus on. Following are 20 tips to help you build it quickly and easily.

1. Embrace Mistakes And Failure

One of the big reasons we don’t have confidence is because we are afraid of failing or making a mistake. We don’t want others to feel like we are ‘less than’, and we don’t want to feel like we are not living up to some standard. But, when we embrace mistakes and failure as an everyday part of life, we can develop more confidence in ourselves because we realize that they are part of being a human.

Everyone makes mistakes and fails. Everyone! Some people beat themselves up about them (promotes low self-confidence) and some people use their mistakes and failures to become stronger people (promotes high self-confidence). When you see it as a choice, it will be much easier to let your mistakes and failures in life teach you how to get the life you want.

2. Be Kind To Others

Want to feel instantly more confident? Be kind to everyone you meet! When you do that, people will treat you with kindness as well, which will make you feel important, validated, and appreciated – three very important aspects of self-confidence.

This doesn’t mean you have to let people walk all over you. In fact, doing that will lead to low self-confidence. But it does mean that you should treat other people the way you want to be treated. When you do that, it will come back to you abundantly.

3. Laugh Things Off

When you develop a strong sense of humor, you see things with much less weight than you used to. Problems become lighter, unexpected annoyances become less annoying, and rude people become less of a pain in the butt. Laughter minimizes problems and makes things look less scary. Being able to laugh allows you to do stop feeling so much stress. All of those things will help make building confidence much easier.

4. Recognize That You Have No Control Over Others

Often we feel unconfident because of how we think others are going to react to us. But the truth is that we have no control over how others act, despite what we do. Their reactions are based solely on their beliefs and opinions, and you can spend all day trying to become someone you think they want you to be and still not please them.

For instance, two people recently were interviewed by the same man on the same topic – body positivity. Unfortunately, he treated the thinner person with much more respect than he did the bigger person. They were talking about the same thing, but they couldn’t control the way he reacted to them as a person, and recognizing that fact helped them both leave the interview with confidence in their message and themselves.

5. Learn Something New Every Day

There are many reasons to learn something every day, but building confidence is definitely one of the best! The trick is to learn something in an area where you confidence is low. Thanks to the Internet, you can find articles, studies, and educational courses on almost anything you want to learn.

For instance, a friend of mine was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. His confidence in himself, his abilities, and his life was instantly shattered when he was diagnosed because he didn’t know much about Multiple Sclerosis, other than it was a progressive disease. Once he decided that he couldn’t live in fear, he started learning one new thing about the disease each day, and each day his confidence in his future grew. He approached his disease with confidence and changed his lifestyle, eliminated his symptoms, and felt better about himself than he had ever felt – even before the awareness of the disease.

6. Focus On One Thing At A Time

When you focus on everything you want to do or become, you get overwhelmed. As you think about all the scary things out there waiting for you (mostly imaginary by the way), your confidence starts to diminish. That’s why focusing on one thing at a time is important for building confidence. It ensures that you don’t bring the past or future into the equation and, instead, just focus on what you are doing or what is happening right now.

7. Stop Looking At The Closed Door

Helen Keller, a deaf and blind woman who was an author and political activist, said, “…we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” It is important to remember that you may be looking at the closed door in certain situations and that may be lowering your confidence by hiding the possibilities. Is it time to look for another door that has been opened?

8. Find Love

Receiving love is the easiest way to build confidence in yourself. If you have ever watched ‘The Goldbergs’ where the mother loves her son so much that he believes he can do anything, then you have an idea of what I mean.

You don’t need a specific type of love to get a confidence boost. Your partner’s love, your pet’s love, your friend’s love, your family member’s love, and even the love of a tight-knit community, such as a church or an online community, can help you become more confident. If you don’t have enough love, go out there and find some more.

9. Work On Personal Growth

When you commit to your personal growth, you start to do things that help you grow as a person. And as you transform into someone else, your confidence naturally increases. You start to become more aware of who you really are and what you really want out of life, and that helps you build a stronger relationship with the real you from an inner place where confidence naturally lives.

10. Make Confidence Your Friend

One interesting way to build confidence is to get creative and imagine confidence as your friend. To do this, imagine confidence showing up at your front door.

– What would it look like?
– What would it say?
– What would it tell you?

Invite confidence into your home and ask it any question you want to. Let the first answer that comes to you resonate with you. You will be amazed at how much insight you get into your confidence by using this creative technique. And, it will help you with building confidence because you will have a clearer vision of what your confidence should look like.

11. Develop A Confidence Ritual

Think back to something you have done that required confidence. For instance, imagine your first day on the job or at school. What did you do to give yourself a boost of confidence so that you were able to move through the fear and into what you needed to do? That act is something that you can turn into a confidence ritual.

For instance, I tend to take a deep breath before I need to face something scary. It helps me slow down my heartbeat and quiet down my mind. That is what I use when I need to do anything that requires confidence.

You may sing, dance, talk to a friend, or whistle. Whatever it is, use it!

12. Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone Continuously

If you are lacking confidence in an area of your life, then your comfort zone is not very big in that area. For instance, if you are lacking the confidence to talk to people one-on-one, then you are not very comfortable talking to people. And, the chances are good that you don’t put yourself out there a lot because you have no confidence. But, if building confidence is your goal, that’s exactly what you need to do. You need to put yourself in situations where you are not in your comfort zone until it becomes comfortable and you are more confident in the situation.

13. Stop Being A Victim In Life

If you find that you are constantly talking about how much more you deserve in life, then you are living with a victim mentality. When you drop that mentality, and start talking about how you can live a better life, your confidence will start to grow. Why? Because you won’t be blaming your life on everyone else; instead, you will be taking ownership over your life and putting forward real action to make your life better. Just that act alone will help you develop confidence, but the successes that start to pile up from real action will boost it even further.

14. Stop Overthinking

I had a friend who used to overthink every interaction she made. Obviously she wasn’t thinking positively; instead, she was contemplating what she should have said, how people reacted to her, and what she could have done differently. This lack of faith and constantly overthinking made her very unconfident in that area of her life.

You can stop overthinking by stopping a few other things. For instance, stop talking about what you are thinking to other people and yourself. Or, stop focusing on it and start focusing on something else. When you do these things, you will beat yourself up less and increase your confidence.

15. Exercise

Working out is beneficial to building confidence. If you are not doing it, there are some very good reasons you should start.

– It relieves stress that is causing you to focus on the negative and attack your confidence.
– It makes you feel good about yourself. Study after study has shown that exercise can make you feel good about yourself, even if you are not getting physical results from it.
– Because exercise can feel like serious work, you feel a sense of achievement after it. It feels like you have gotten something done in your day, which feels great.
– It helps you take your mind off your problems, where low self-confidence lives.

16. Change Your Posture

You can tell when someone feels confident simply by their body posture. They stand tall, shoulders back, arms uncrossed, and hold their head high. They look at ease instead of tense. They sit relaxed instead of awkwardly. But did you know that their confident posture doesn’t just make them look confidence, it actually increases their confidence?

You can use this to your advantage for building confidence instantly. When you need to feel more confidence, use a power pose to help you do so. For instance, stand with your hands on your hips (think superman). You will notice an instant boost in your confidence.

17. Visualize Your Awesomeness

Many athletes use visualization to increase their confidence and success before a game. For instance, Wayne Rooney, a professional footballer, has said that he lies in bed the night before the game and visualizes himself scoring goals or doing well. He claims that it helps him have a ‘memory’ before the game that promotes a successful outcome in real life.

You can use visualization for building confidence, and you don’t even need to be facing something challenging tomorrow. Instead, just visualize how you would like your day to go. Imagine yourself being confident and in control. Imagine yourself succeeding despite what comes your way. And, let the memory of that visualization remind you of how great you are.

18. Stop The Fight-Or-Flight Response

Turning off your body’s fight-or-flight response can help you to become less stressed and more confident instantly. As your fear grows smaller, you become more confident.

The best way to turn off your body’s fight-or-flight response is to relax with a nice deep breath and a big sigh of relief, just as you would after a stressful situation is over. This gives your mind the signal that the stressor is gone and helps you reduce stress hormones and relax your muscles, giving you a nice boost of confidence in the process.

19. Let Go Of The Past

If you keep holding on to the past, then you will keep reminding yourself of events where you felt less than confident. Do that, and you will be visualizing yourself into a low confident state.

If building confidence is your goal, then you need to let go of the past and all those moments where your confidence took a big hit. You can do this by being mindful of the moment. If you place your awareness on anything natural, such as an animal, a person, or nature, you become instantly mindful, so look around and find something to place your awareness on whenever your mind starts dwelling on the past.

20. Build A Plan

The future can be a scary place full of unknowns, but when you have a plan written out for it, you will become much more confident in what it holds – and even yourself. You will be able to see what you need to do to get what you want, and you will have an easier time confidently take action on that plan knowing the results it can bring.

Build a plan in all areas of your life, including your career, your relationships, your personal growth, and your health. Knowledge and insight are the keys to building confidence in your every action.

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