January 22, 2016

22 Things You Need To Know About Independent Girls

How to be an independent girl

Have you ever noticed the word strong always precedes independent girls? I think the very definition of the word independent implies strength; however, I also believe that the word strong is added to further get the message across because we are talking about a female. When it comes to a man, we usually say ‘strong men’ or ‘independent men’ but not both together.

The truth is that independent girls are strong. In fact, they may be stronger than men because they have to fight against the stereotypes put in front of them in regards to independence. Not sure if you understand independent girls or what they are going through? Following are 22 things you need to know.

1. You Can’t Tell Them What To Do

Independent girls are not controlled by anyone. They know what they want and like, and they are not going to let anyone tell them what is right or wrong, because they already know! Their moral compass is set in one direction, they know what they like, they know what they don’t like, and if you are trying to tell them to do something that goes against what they feel to be right for them, they are not going to agree.

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2. They Do Need Help Sometimes

As independent as they seem, they still need help sometimes! They’re human and need support and help to accomplish the things they want. Unfortunately, they know that as soon as they admit they need help, certain people are going to judge just how independent they are based on their request. Yet, independent girls are comfortable with who they are, and they are not easily influenced by outside judgments, so they will still ask for help when they need to.

3. They Want A Loving Relationship

You will find that independent girls will not stay in toxic relationships for long. In fact, they usually will see the warning signs and avoid the toxic relationship all together. However, this doesn’t mean they are looking to fly solo their whole lives. They want someone in their lives who they can love and have a good relationship with. However, their requirements for a relationship look a lot different than girls who are not independent.

For instance, they are looking for:

– An independent partner who has control of their own life.
– A confident partner who will not become insecure as they go after the things they want in life.
– A stable partner who is not flipping and flopping from one place to the next, unsure of where they want to be.
– A supportive partner who is there to help them when things get rough in life.
– A partner who can stand up to their mother and other women in their life! This is especially true for heterosexual relationships where the guy’s mother may see independence as a bad thing.

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Independent girls value a good guy like this, and will treat him with the respect, support, and love that he gives them.

4. They Get Put Down For Their Independence

Because the stereotype of what girls should be like is still in place, there is a lot of resistance when a girl tries to be independent. There are a lot of haters both in her life and outside of her life trying to influence her to be someone else. Her mother wants her to be the woman she imagined her to be, and so does her father. Her boss wants her to act the way a good female employee should act. Her friends have their own expectations and criticize the life she is living or wants to live because it doesn’t match up to their ideals. And random people on the Internet are quick to point out how ridiculous she is for wanting what she wants or acting like she does. She is hit with resistance every which way she turns, and it can be frustrating as she tries to do what is best for her.

5. Their Goals Are Killer

Marriage and kids can be goals of independent girls, but they also have some passionate goals that go beyond the scope of traditions. They know who they are and what their passions are, and they have big goals in line with those passions. Their head is full of accomplishments that will empower them and make them feel alive.

6. They Enjoy Their Alone Time

Independent girls are happy with themselves, so they don’t mind spending time with themselves. Moreover, they have goals they are working towards, so alone time gives them the ability to do what needs to be done. Whether they are at home, eating in a restaurant, or traveling, they are just fine being by themselves.

7. They Won’t Ask For Your Permission

Unless you are in an intimate relationship with them and they need to keep you in the loop with what they are doing, they are not going to ask for your permission to do anything. If they decide they want to travel to learn about a new culture, they are going to find a way to do it. If they decide they want to take on a new hobby that may be a little dangerous, they are going to do it. They are following their internal passions in life, so they don’t need your consent to tell them that they should go for it.

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8. They Can Be Intimidating

They know what they want and they will do what they can to get it. This is where their strength really shines through. They won’t back down. They will stay confident around other people. And people who are not as independent as they are will find them a little scary, if not downright frightening. This is especially true of guys who are not used to independent girls in their life.

9. They Have A High Sense Of Awareness

Because independent girls know who they are and what they want out of life, they have a heightened sense of awareness. They can see truths and lies easier, both in other people and in themselves. For this reason, you can’t play games with them. They will see the games for what they are and stop you in your tracks. Furthermore, they are not victims, so you can’t bully them into anything. They know they are in control of their life, not you, so your attempts to guilt, ridicule, or force them to do what you want will be in vain.

10. They Put A Lot Of Pressure On Themselves

Women have a long history of not being independent, and the stereotype that they shouldn’t be is still around. Independent girls are well aware of that! They know that other people think they should get married and have kids (especially their mother), so they think that they need to live up to the potential they know they are capable of in order to prove that they don’t belong in the stereotype. Unfortunately, this causes a lot of girls to put a ton of pressure on themselves, which can result in overworking, over-training, and too much stress.

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11. Kids May Not Be An Option For Them

Before, there was no option. If you were capable of having kids, you were supposed to have them. But, independent girls have a lot of different visions for their lives, and many girls do not have kids in that vision. A loving relationship and even marriage may be acceptable, but kids can limit what girls are capable of doing in life, and if a girl has a strong sense of what she wants to accomplish in this life, kids may not be an option.

12. They Are Not Afraid To Be Themselves

Don’t like the way they dress or approach life? Too bad! Independent girls are not afraid to be themselves. They like themselves for who they are. They know that denying who they truly are will make them miserable. Therefore, they embrace who they are, even if others are not happy with it. I always think of Whoopi Goldberg when I think of this fact. She has never been afraid to have her own style and show the world who she truly is, even if it doesn’t live up to the female stereotype.

13. They Try To Think Positively

Because independent girls are not victims in life, they try to keep a positive mindset about their life. This doesn’t mean that they don’t have bad days, but it does mean that they see things from an optimistic view and they don’t let life beat them down. If they did, they would be far from independent, and they know it.

14. They Are Inspiring To Others

They feel like they can do anything, and that inspires other people around them. The more girls come out as independent, the more we will see independence as a trend among girls. Believe me when I say there are tons of girls who crave to be true to themselves, but are being held back by limiting beliefs and fears. They need to see girls claiming their independence and living it so that they can claim theirs too.

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15. They Know They Are Not Always Right

Independent girls do not know it all, nor do they claim to. They are on a journey in life, and they know that keeping their mind open will help them find more satisfaction and happiness in life. They also know what is right for them in this moment, and that it may not be right for everyone, so they are not afraid to admit that other people are going to have a different opinion than them.

16. They Have A Sensitive Side

Women are naturally more comfortable with their emotions, so it makes sense that all girls, even independent girls, are more comfortable with displaying their sensitive side. Crying at movies, expressing their anger, showing sympathy and compassion, and comforting people in need are all traits of girls who are independent.

17. They Are Not Afraid Of Struggles

To live an independent life as a girl is to struggle. It is about getting free from the stereotypes, fighting the people who want to hold you back, and finding a lot of resistance and issues along the way. Sometimes it takes a big move to stand up for who you are, and they know that their independence is worth the effort that it takes.

18. They Don’t Hide All Their Vulnerabilities

Being vulnerable is known to be a feminine trait; however, independent girls know that they can’t hide their true self just to avoid being labeled by other people. As a confident human, they know that they are vulnerable in some areas. They are not ignorant of that fact! They can get hurt, and even though they are strong, they still have a sense of fear towards being hurt. But, even though they will show their vulnerabilities, they are still the type of girls who will push through them when they need to in order to stay true to who they are.

19. They Think Things Through

Because they value their opinion, they stop and think things through for themselves before they act. This can apply to love, career, health, or anything other area of their lives. They have the patience to wait until they know what is right for them, and the insight to know whether or not it really is.

20. They Love To Try New Things

Independent girls do not put their mental health and personal growth on a back-burner. They know that they have to keep growing, and they crave to learn more about their interests and goals in life. Therefore, you will often see them engaging in activities that help them do so, like reading, take time for their favorite hobbies, and trying something new.

21. They Want Independence For Others Girls

They know how awesome being independent is, and instead of judging other girls for not being independent, they are rooting for them to make the break from who others want them to be and turn into their authentic self. They are more than willing to help other girls understand the value that they have and the positive impact being independent can have on their lives.

22. They Don’t Need Your Attention To Survive

Lastly, they are independent, which means they are not dependent on other people for anything. If you don’t text them back, they don’t sit around or rely on that text to validate them as a person. They don’t need you to pick them out of the crowd in order to feel unique. They don’t need to be the best of the best in order to feel like they have accomplished something. They are fine with who they are and can validate themselves without your help.


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