A lot of people want to know about the skills you need to be successful in life, but I think that knowing about the skills you need to be successful at creating the life you want can help you not just be successful in life, but create a life that you actually want to live. You can be successful at something you hate doing; in fact, a lot of people are doing that right now. But, being successful at something you hate doing doesn’t fulfill you in a way that makes life feel amazing. That’s why I highly recommend working on creating your own reality.
Most People Believe That Life Is Happening To Them
Vishen Lakhiani talks about an evolution of consciousness starting with the ‘early man’ (think caveman without communication skills) and ending with ‘the god mind’ (think about not listening to a higher power but being a higher power). Vishen says that most people are operating one step up from the early man in a ‘modern man’ state. This is where they feel like life is happening to them and that few things are in their control.
How can you experience real success in that state? Your dreams are desires go unrealized as you deal with the hand you are dealt on a daily basis. You chalk up whatever happens in your life as ‘just the way it is’ and you do the best that you can to make it through life instead of the best that you can to live a happy and fulfilling life.
In order to be successful at creating your reality, you need to get out of the ‘modern man’ mindset and move to the next step, which he calls the ‘culture hacker’. This is where you notice that your thoughts, feelings, and actions are impacting your life and your goals. This is where you see that you are able to create situations and outcomes that you want and you are able to create the success that you want.
Once you get into this mindset, you will stop crossing your fingers hoping that life doesn’t deal you a bad hand and you will start doing things in your life that help you reach the success you want. So, let’s talk about the three essential skills you need to make that happen.
Skills You Need To Be Successful At Creating Your Own Reality
A skill is the ability to understand and perform something well. A few of the following things may not feel like skills, but once you understand how powerful they are for creating the life that you want, you will see them as skills and want to work on them.
1. Ordering What You Want From The Big Cook (And Expecting Your Order To Be Delivered)
Have you ever asked for something in your life and really believed that you were going to get it? If you have, then you probably ended up getting what you wanted, as long as it wasn’t something completely unrealistic. This is because not only did you ask and believe that something was coming, you expected it. So, you kept your eyes open for ways that you could get it.
For instance, a friend of mine wanted a specific kind of job with specific benefits. He was working at a job he hated, but he knew that his perfect job was out there and he would be much happier in that job. So, he asked for the job, believed he would find it, and then expected to find his way to it. When he met people, he looked for ways they could help him. When he was faced with choices, he chose to do things that would move him closer to the job. And he constantly looked through the job boards to see if his perfect job had been posted yet. He didn’t worry about how he was going to find the job, he just knew that he was. And in less than a month, he met someone on the train who happened to work at a place where they had an opening for his dream job. He found out how to apply, applied, went for the interview, and had the job within a week of meeting that person.
Doing this successfully requires you to understand that what you want is out there, stay open to signs and coincidences, and then do things that help you get what you want. If you can do that, then you can find your way towards almost anything that you want to be successful at.
Start with creative visualization. Following is the way I learned to order what I want for my life.
– Get into an alpha state. This is the state of mind you are in before bed or during meditation. It’s a quiet state and it is an easier state to visualize what you want and affect your subconscious mind in a positive way.
– Imagine the problem. For instance, if you want to get a better job, visualize yourself in the job you have now and how much you don’t like it. This is your starting point, so it’s important to visualize and feel where you are at now. Allow yourself to really feel the pain and frustration of your situation. That will help you decide what you really want in order to feel successful.
– Now, stop focusing on and feeling the pain of now and start visualizing the success you want. For instance, see yourself in the job of your dreams. You don’t need to visualize the title and your duties, because you may not know what your dream job is. But, if you do know, then visualize the finer details. See yourself going into work feeling great, going through your day feeling fulfilled and happy. See yourself doing great things at work. See yourself making the kind of money you want on your paycheck. Spend a few minutes here visualizing this.
– Next, open your eyes and know that you have put in your order and that you will keep your eyes open for people, situations, and circumstances that can help you achieve what you want. Don’t give any more focus to what you don’t want. Expect that good things are coming and grab hold of any opportunity that feels like it will help you reach the success you want.
You don’t need to do this repeatedly. You’ve already placed your order for what you want and the ‘big cook’ is cooking it up for you. All you need to do now is take action on getting what you want and wait for it to be delivered.
Remember, reaching success comes from a number of action steps. You need to do certain things to change, grow, and get what you want in your life. And, the more you believe that you can, the more you do.
That’s what this skill of visualization and expectation is all about. It helps you get into the right mindset to expect better things in your life and then take action towards getting those things. It helps you move out of the victim state where you feel like life is happening to you (so why bother trying) and get into a state of mind where you are capable of seeing beneficial things that are there to help you make life happen for you.
2. Using Your Intuition
Intuition is a skill. I’ve never met a successful person who wasn’t in tune with their intuition and able to make quick decisions based off it. Even an article on Forbes calls intuition an essential leadership tool. But not many people are skilled at listening to and using their intuition. That doesn’t mean it’s not there. Everyone has a built-in intuition that they can use in their daily life. Even you.
For example, many people in love credit their intuition as the reason for their success. One person knew that they needed to talk to a particular person, so they did. They didn’t question why they should talk to that person, they just knew they had to and followed their gut feeling. For most people, they ended up talking to the person that they would be with for the rest of their life. For others, they talked to someone who knew the person they would be with for the rest of their lives. The bottom line is that if they hadn’t followed their intuition, they may never have found the relationship that resulted in success.
Building the skill of intuition requires you to become in tune with your inner voice. And, I’ve found that for most people it’s best to picture their inner voice as someone else they can ask questions to. It makes the process easier and feel more realistic than just listening to a voice in their head.
So, to speak to your inner voice, I recommend The Invisible Counselor Technique created by success guru Napoleon Hill. I highly recommend you read up on it, but until then, here’s and outline on how to do it.
– Visualize the problem you need an answer to.
– Imagine yourself in a room or a place that feels good to you. It could be a beautiful library room or it could be the top of a mountain. Wherever you feel most inspired, go there.
– Call your counselors. They could be friends, mentors, or people from history that you respect. It doesn’t matter if they are alive or dead, you can call anyone you want to call. I recommend calling two to three people max. It makes it easier to listen to them and come to a quick conclusion.
-Talk to them about your problem and ask them for their advice. Don’t try to force what they will say. Allow them to speak on their own and listen to them. If you need a quick answer, ask for them to make it short and sweet. If you need to work through a big problem, sit down with them and start a discussion.
– End your session knowing that you have consulted the wisest people you know and then move forward with a direction in mind.
For instance, if two people want to go out with you tonight, and you need to decide which person will be better suited to help you reach whatever success you are looking for, consult with your counselors. Let them help you see things that you don’t know yet about the people and what the situations could bring. Then, choose the person who will benefit you most, thank your counselors, and move on with your day.
The more you develop the skill of consulting with your intuition ‘the counselors’, the quicker you will get at using it. You will instantly see their faces and hear their opinions, and you will be able to make quick decisions on the spot that will help you make choices that push you towards the success you want.
3. Being Present
Not many people are skilled at being present. They have a hard time living in the moment and are usually stuck in the past or the future regretting or worrying about something. Sound like you? Then you need to develop the skill of being present, especially if you want to be successful.
You may find this weird considering most people talk about becoming successful by having goals and keeping your eye on the prize. I think that having a vision for your future is important, but keeping your eye on that vision does no good for your success. It’s the decisions you make today and the actions you take that will decide whether or not you reach that vision. So, you need to live in the moment, keep your eyes open for people and situations that will help you move towards your goal, and be able to use your intuition to help you make decisions that require your attention right now.
This is probably the hardest skill to develop, but it is the most rewarding. Once you find yourself being present more, you will enjoy life more. Your days won’t pass you by in a blur. They will be full of meaning and purpose. They will be full of laughter and excitement. They will be stepping stones to success. So much so that you will find yourself avoiding activities that take you out of the present so that you can stay focused on what matters most – this moment.
There are many different ways to develop the skill of being present. You need to find what works for you and then use it. Following are just a few of the ways that I find helpful.
– Paying attention to my senses. I always try to smell, hear, and see what is around me. It keeps me out of my head and in the moment. I’ve made it a priority to check in with my senses at least once every half an hour. And I’ve found that the more I consciously do it, the more I naturally do it.
– Slowing down. I take the time to really listen to people instead of rushing them through a conversation. I take the time to read an article in its entirely instead of skimming through it so I can move on to the next thing. I try to slow down my moments and enjoy them, and I find that the more I practice this, the more capable I am of really experiencing the moment.
– I accept things for what they are. This is a big one! If you can accept the moment for what it is, you will find that you avoid thinking about how it should be and, in doing so, remove yourself from the moment.
Other Skills You Need To Be Successful At Creating Your Reality
In the end, asking for what you want and then being able to expect that it is coming, along with intuition and being present, will help you start to bring the success you want in all areas of your life.
There are other things you can do, such as develop good habits that keep your energy and awareness high. You can work on your personal growth and become more of the person you want to be. And, of course, you can develop the physical skills needed to be a success at whatever it is you want. But, it all starts from believing that you can get what you want in life and then using your intuition in the present moment and taking action to make your way towards it.