Let it go! It can seem easier said than done in many cases. Yet, forgiving others and letting it go will impact your life in a positive way, so it is something that we should all strive to do on a day to day basis. There are some ways of thinking that can help you forgive easier and let it go.
1. Take Responsibility For Your Part
If you stop and think about it, many things that happen in life are not totally because of others, but also because of ourselves. I’m not saying that you deserve horrible things to happen in your life, but often your behavior or actions play a part in what happens to you – both good and bad.
For instance, I have a very mean neighbor. She is not a happy woman! Because she is mean, I often gave her dirty looks and ignored her when she talked to me. One time I even yelled at her as she blew her leaves into my yard. In short, I treated her poorly and because of that she treated me even worse. It wasn’t until the day that I found Ho’oponopono (a practice of reconciliation and forgiveness) through Joe Vitale that I actually realized how my behavior was influencing hers. I sincerely used the mantra ‘I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.’ And, since that day she has done nothing to me or my yard.
2. Let Go Of Trying To Control Things
Often wanting to be in control can cause us to hold on to anger. We want to control how others interact with us and how they view us, and past experiences out of our control can make us mad and upset, which makes it hard for us to let it go.
For instance, a person saying something rude to you in front of other people can hurt your pride. It can also influence how other people feel about you, which makes it feel like their opinion towards you is out of your control. In order to maintain a level of control, you can stay mad at the person to show everyone that you are not who they say you are, but that just forces you to stay in an angry state where you can’t forgive. If you choose to let go of trying to control how others see you, then that person really can’t affect you in a big way, and you can forgive them and let it go.
Recognize that a lot of life is out of our control. We don’t have control over how others act, behave, or view us. Use that information to forgive situations where you wish things would have gone your way.
3. Remember That They Did The Best They Could
Everyone is doing the best that they can with what they have right now. For instance, if someone doesn’t have compassion, then they are not going to do things that are compassionate. Or, if someone is unable to be honest, then they are going to do things that are dishonest. If they developed true compassion or true integrity, then they would exhibit those traits instead.
The point is that anyone who has betrayed you in some way was doing the best they could. They did not have compassion and suddenly choose to be cruel to you. Or, they were in a really bad time of life where their compassion had disappeared to a point where they could not do anything but be cruel. When you see that for the reality it is, you can see that they couldn’t have done anything different.
When you accept that they couldn’t have done anything different, forgiveness will come easier to you. You will stop holding on to the belief that they did what they did because of you, and instead recognize that they did what they did because of them.