Ways to be positive
By definition, your state of mind is the mood you are in at a particular time. While it can change from positive to negative based on certain life events, it shouldn’t change drastically from day to day during everyday life. If you feel like your state of mind is changing from positive to negative on a day to day basis and want to get off the rollercoaster, then this article will give you some tips to help stabilize your mood. Do one of them, and you will find your state of mind is more positive more often. Do them all, and your entire life is likely to change for the better.
1. Find Things Worth Feeling Excited About
When something exciting is going to happen in your day, your state of mind will shift to a highly positive state. You will wake up with energy and jump out of bed – often earlier than you normally get up. You will feel good as you focus on the exciting thing happening. And everything you do will feel lighter, more interesting, and more fun. Basically, you feel more alive!
Why not recreate that feeling on a daily basis and help you maintain a fresh, fun, and positive state of mind like you do on those rare days something exciting is happening? Why not keep yourself in a constant state of ‘Yes! Today I get to do something awesome’?
I know that some people may not feel like there are many (if any) things in their life that make them excited. I get that. When your state of mind sucks, you don’t see a lot of good in your life. That’s why you need to step out of your daily habits and look for something new to add to your life that is good. And if you look, you will find it!
A friend of mine was told to find one thing she was excited about by her therapist, and for weeks she agonized over the fact that she wasn’t excited about anything. But, as she focused on trying to find one thing that she was excited about, she found herself exploring new things in her life. She tried things she had never tried before in an attempt to find that one thing, and because she opened herself up to so many new things, she eventually did find that one thing. It was scrapbooking, which was something she wouldn’t have thought about doing before. She found that scrapbooking was a way for her to unleash her creative side and focus on the good things (instead of the unwanted things) that were happening in her day to day life. Every day she woke up excited as she thought about working on a new page for the day.
You may not find scrapbooking very exciting, and that’s okay. The point is you need to open yourself up to looking for that one thing that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning.
Do that by saying ‘yes’ more often. Allow yourself to try new things. Allow other people to suggest new experiences that you may not think of. The more you do in your days, the more chances you will have to find things that make life worth living.
2. Stop Doing Things You Hate
If you find that your state of mind is bouncing back and forth between positive and negative on a daily basis, then there is a big chance that you are doing some things that you really hate. And, there is a bigger chance that you are doing things you hate as much or more than you are doing things you love.
When you are doing things you love, life feels easier and happier. You don’t struggle with your day as much because you are not putting up a ton of resistance like you do when you are doing things you hate.
For instance, if you hate your job, then you are living a big part of your life doing something you hate. How can you maintain a positive state of mind when you have to go to work and don’t feel good about it? You can’t! Your state of mind is affected negatively as you think about going to work and try to find ways to avoid it (resistance to what’s going to happen), as you go through the motions at work and want to go home (resistance to what’s happening), and sometimes after you leave work.
And sometimes the things you are hate doing are not that big but add up to be just as impactful. For instance, if you don’t mind your work, but hate your drive to work, the chores you have to do when you get home, and the lack of time you have to yourself in the evening, then those things are going to add up and cause your state of mind to bounce back and forth between work, where you feel good, and home, where you feel stressed out.
You can’t tell me it’s not possible to stop doing things you hate. I know from experience that it is possible to change around schedules, habits, and activities so that you are doing things that make you feel good rather than bad.
Sometimes even a minor shift in how you do something can make it less painful and more appealing. So sit down and write down the things you hate doing the most and how you can replace or change them in a way that will help you be happier more often.
3. Become The Person You Most Respect
Warning! Personal growth and getting out of your comfort zone ahead!
You can’t change other people, but you can change yourself. You’ve probably heard that before, but it doesn’t hold a lot of meaning until you actually start to change yourself and become the person that you want others to be in the world. When that happens, you stop focusing on other people so much and your state of mind improves as you focus on how amazing you are.
So, next time you find yourself complaining about someone, take a look at your own life instead of theirs. Are you living up to your expectations for others? If not, find a way to start living up to them. As you start working on you, and becoming the person you want to see most in this world, you will start to feel better about yourself.
As a bonus, other people will start to feel better about you, which will help you develop a more stable and positive state of mind as well. Why? When people start to interact with you in a more positive way, you start to feel better about life. It’s interesting how much other people can influence our state of mind with one negative word or one dirty look and how much happier we can be when people are nicer to us more often.
Yes, it’s scary to stop complaining about others and take a look at yourself instead. It’s way out of most people’s comfort zones. But, it is the best way to get your personal growth moving forward and your state of mind more consistently positive.
4. Be Kind
So simple, yet so powerful. Being kind has the power to change your life.
– It helps you feel better about yourself, your day, other people, and this world.
– It helps you stay in a positive state of mind as you deal with relationships and experiences with other people.
– It encourages other people to treat you better.
– It helps you look at troubling situations through a softer and more realistic lens.
When I look back on my life and think of all the people who were in a positive state of mind more often than not, I see one thing in common – kindness. They were all compassionate and treated people with respect.
They weren’t just focused on themselves and what they could get, they were also focused on how they could make other people’s lives better. And even if they weren’t able to make someone happy, they were still happy themselves because their habit of looking outside of themselves didn’t cause them to take things as personally as it would if they felt like they were the center of the universe.
I hope this makes sense to you because it is important. But, even if it doesn’t, trust me, having a kind attitude will help you maintain a more positive state of mind for a multitude of reasons that you will fully understand once you develop that attitude.
5. Focus On Contribution
It’s easy to get caught up in life and feel like it’s all about you. When that happens, it’s easy to get offended, angry, and upset over things that don’t go your way. But, when you live your life focused on contributing to others and the world around you, life gets easier.
This life really is about contribution anyway. Whether you are working as a doctor or a writer, you are doing something that helps other people. You are contributing to their life in some way, even if it’s small, and when you realize that your whole world and how you live in it changes.
Probably the biggest thing that changes is you start to understand that if you are contributing in everything you do, you may be contributing negatively to the world. When you are doing things that hurt other people, you are adding negativity to this world and to your own state of mind, because, let’s face it, your inner-self knows if you are being a good or bad person and it plays a part in how you feel about yourself, others, and life in general.
So, when you wake up tomorrow, don’t just focus on how you are going to make your day great, focus on how you are going to make this world better. You will find that focusing on being a good person who contributes in a good way will help you stay in a more positive state of mind as your self-worth grows.
6. Commit To Imperfection
When you wake up with the idea that you have to be perfect, and then you do a bunch of things that are less than perfect, your state of mind will suffer. You will beat yourself up, feel bad, and get stuck in regret. In other words, striving for perfection will cause you to bounce from a positive state of mind to a negative one each time you screw up or aren’t perfect, which will be at least once per day.
We can’t be perfect. I don’t even understand why it’s a word in our language. To be perfect is to be without fault or flawless, and that’s impossible for many reasons.
For instance, external factors affect our ability to be perfect. We may want to draw a perfect picture, but we need to depend on our drawing materials, steadiness of hand, and other things to make sure it’s perfect. And sometimes we lack the drawing material we need or our pen explodes and makes a mess.
Or, we may want to do everything we have scheduled for the day, but unexpected people and problems arise throwing us off track. And at the end of the day, we may only finish 50% of what we planned to get done.
And, just like beauty, perfection is in the eye of the beholder. I may think that my friend did a perfect job on his art project, but someone who is more knowledgeable about that type of art may find all kinds of faults. Unfortunately, we tend to be most critical on ourselves, so what everyone else may find perfect may be a disaster in our own eyes.
In short, expecting perfection will cause you to get tense, angry, upset, and regretful, and you can’t keep a positive state of mind when you are feeling those emotions constantly.
Instead of perfection, commit to imperfection. Decide that it is better to be imperfect and happy than it is to be perfect and unhappy.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try your hardest in situations. It just means that you should celebrate your accomplishments even if they are not perfect, and celebrate the fact that you tried.
And, it means that you should take those time when you really screw up (find yourself far from perfection) and learn from them rather than beat yourself up over them.
7. Stop Picking On Yourself
Lastly, you need to stop picking on yourself. There are some things that make you unique and are not going to change – or won’t change without some effort – and you should always strive to feel good about where you are rather than where you think you should be.
My friend’s mother has spent a lifetime hating herself. She hated her personality, even though other people thought she was charming. She hated her weight, even though other people thought she was fine. She hated the way she smiled, sat, and talked. She hated seeing herself in pictures. And, as she grew older, she hated her skin and the way she looked as a senior. Now she’s 75 and my friend has never seen his mother in a constant positive state of mind. Sometimes she feels good and sometimes she feels bad, but she definitely feels bad more than good.
You need to take a page from her book and learn from her. Who you are right now is just fine. The way you look, the way you talk, the way you act – it’s all a part of who you are. Celebrate your uniqueness, don’t hate it. Allow yourself to look in the mirror and love the person looking back at you. Don’t focus on superficial things like skin, weight, crooked smiles, etc. Instead, focus on your relationships, what you are doing for this world, your compassion, your strength, your ability to learn and grow. Those are the traits that really matter.
Make who you are on the inside more important than who you are on the outside, and stop hating yourself. I guarantee your state of mind will shift to a more positive one if you do that.