January 3, 2017

8 Things To Remember About The Naysayers As You Make And Work Towards Goals

How to work towards your goals

If you want to accomplish some big or unique things in life, you are probably creating or working on some goals. And if you are doing that, you are guaranteed to be met with a lot of naysayers as you create and work on those goals. They may be family, friends, co-workers, or strangers, but they will be there every step of the way to give you their pessimistic and negative views no matter how well things are going for you.

Some experts believe that humans are wired to be naysayers. And sometimes it can feel like there are more naysayers out there than there are optimistic people. But the fact is that there are plenty of us who see things in an optimistic light and believe that there are many things we and the world around us can accomplish.

Us go-getters who want more out of life still feel doubt, no matter how far we have come in our journey, and that doubt can be turned into downright fear that stops us in our tracks if we listen to the naysayers in our lives. Therefore it’s important to be able to move past their negative words and attitudes.

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I find that looking at people differently can help you move past the emotions they are causing you and get on with your life. When you stop seeing them as enemies out to bring you down and stop you from achieving your goals, you will have a much better time.

Remember, naysayers are not going anywhere, so you need to find a way to deal with them effectively. You can’t get rid of them. You can’t ignore them. And you can’t stoop to their level or YOU will be the one ruining your chances of achieving your goals. That’s why I truly believe changing your perception towards naysayers is one of the best ways to deal with them.

Following are 8 things you need to remember about the naysayers. These insights should help you see them in a different light. And when that happens, they will no longer have any power over you and what you are capable of accomplishing.

1. If Proved Wrong, They Will Still Be Naysayers

I know how badly you probably want to prove the naysayers wrong, but let me tell you something I wish I knew a long time ago – you can prove them wrong all you want, they are still going to be pessimistic. They probably aren’t going to stare at you wide-eyed and profess how right you are and how wrong they were. Instead, they are going to come up with new things to be pessimistic about.

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For instance, a few people in my life told me that you can’t make money online when I first created an online business. I worked hard to prove them wrong. And, when I started making more than I did at the offline job I had previously to working online, I thought they would all admit that they were wrong and get just as excited as me for the next step. Instead, they admitted that I was lucky and it probably wouldn’t keep working out for me. They were still pessimistic, despite my proof of success and my solid plans to keep my online business growing, and they have never stopped finding something new to be pessimistic about even though I keep having more and more success.

When you understand that naysayers are not going to change, you can stop trying to prove them wrong or expecting something more positive out them. You can stop wasting energy on wanting them to validate you because you know that they will always find something new to be negative about. And, you can accept that they are who they are and stop looking for their approval before you make decisions or take the next step.

2. They Are Wrong Most Of The Time

Pessimistic people don’t see the potential in your goals. They lack hope in things working out well. They see tragedy and constant failure. And that is the basis for all their opinions and predictions.

Of course, life doesn’t always work out the way we plan. We fail. Unexpected things happen. But that doesn’t mean we are not going to achieve our goals. It just means we have to find a new way to achieve our goals. Optimistic people can see that, but naysayers view failure and obstacles as a dead end, which isn’t even close to the truth.

In addition, naysayers don’t understand what’s necessary to reach your personal goals. They haven’t thought about what you want and what you need to do to get there like you have. They haven’t tested certain ideas and had big insights on what is working and what is not like you have. They simply can’t understand all the little things that go into reaching your goals and what you are doing to make them happen, which is another reason they can’t possibly be right about whether or not you will succeed.

For instance, a friend of mine has become a very popular YouTuber. She has spent a lot of time learning about her audience and what they want to see. She has learned how they react to certain things and what videos end up doing the best for her, and all that information is a big factor in how she moves forward on YouTube. She is constantly increasing her viewer count, the activity she gets on her videos, and her income. And even with all of that, she still gets a lot of naysayers commenting on her videos and tell her how she is going to fail in her YouTuber career. They think they know everything about her business, but they don’t see what she does behind the scenes or have the insight that she has gathered over the years.

And this doesn’t just apply to regular goals and dreams that we have. Sometimes naysayers are wrong on a much more dramatic level.

For instance, I recently read a story about a young girl who was in a car crash and lost the use of her legs. The doctors said that she would never regain the use of her legs and the family needed to accept that. Many of the family members agreed and constantly told the girl and her mother that they needed to prepare for a life without her walking. The mother and the girl didn’t listen. They had hope that things could change and worked towards becoming mobile again. Eight years later that little girl is now in cheerleading. The naysayers got it wrong!

3. The More You Accomplish, The Louder They Will Get

You already know that the naysayers are not going to stop trying to bring you down, but it’s important to know that the more you accomplish, the louder they will get. They will have more and better arguments as to why you can’t achieve the goals you want to achieve. And they will be convincing.

One study found that naysayers are really good with their words. So much so that they had the power to make people, who at the core believe that climate change is occurring, doubt whether or not climate change was real. Despite all the evidence contrary, naysayers were able to affect how firmly people believed in climate change.

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If they can do that, imagine what they can do to your personal goals if you let them. That’s why you have to remember that they are living in a world without the hope, optimism, and willingness to see what happens. You have to hold on to a core belief that things are going to work out just fine for you.

4. They Can Help You Reach Success Sometimes

Having naysayers in your life doesn’t have to be a completely bad thing. Often they can challenge you and make you a stronger person mentally and physically. Your desire to prove them wrong or, even better, not end up like them, can propel you to make decisions that are hard to make and do things that may be hard to do.

Naysayers can also teach you a few things. They may see things you haven’t seen in your optimistic view, and there may be some truth in their negative views that can help you build your plan to reach your goals more effectively.

For instance, a naysayer may tell you that you are not skilled enough in a certain area to reach your goals. They may be right. If you stop resisting everything they say, you may be able to see that you are not skilled enough in a certain area to reach your goals and then decide to get the education or practice needed in the area you need work on.

So, remember that most of what they say will not be applicable to you. But, listen for little nuggets of information that you may need to hear to help you understand what you want and what you need to do to get it.

5. They Are Unhappy People

Imagine thinking the worst about everything. That wouldn’t be a fun way of living, but that’s exactly how naysayers live. They see the world in a very black and white way and most of the time they just see the darkness.

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When you can see that naysayers are living a life of fear, despair, and worry, you stop viewing them as evil monsters trying to ruin your life and you start feeling bad for them. And when that happens, they lose their power over you and your decisions in life.

6. They Have A Tough Time Achieving Anything Positive

Not only are they unhappy, they don’t get to live a life that is full of good things because they don’t work towards the life that they want.

No one ever said that blind optimism is a good thing for success, but naysayers can’t achieve anything as they whine, complain, and move forward without hope. They are really good at complaining, but when it comes to making this world a better place, they suck. They don’t have the time, energy, motivation, or desire to do good things for their life and this world.

Again, this should make you feel bad for naysayers, not intimated by them. It would suck to be in their shoes.

7. They Can’t Determine YOUR Outcome (Unless You Let Them!)

You should be starting to realize this about naysayers, but I want to make the point very clear. They may be really good at guessing, but they have no power over the outcome of your life unless you give them that power.

If you let the naysayers dictate what you do and how you think, then you are letting them determine your outcome in life. That makes them very powerful people. Not only are they determining their outcome in a negative way, they are determining yours as well!

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Don’t let naysayers drag you into their world. Stay in your world where great things are possible. Stay in your own world where you are willing to take chances and see what happens. Stay in your world where you are willing to do the work in order to see the results. If you do that, they will never have any power over you.

8. They Will Give You Their Opinion Whether You Want It Or Not

It doesn’t matter how much you tell a naysayer that you don’t want to hear their opinions, they will still give it to you. They do it, for the most part, because they truly believe in what they are saying, and they feel like they must give you their opinion or you will be doomed to disappointment and struggle (which is kind of ironic because if you follow their advice you will be doomed to disappointment and struggle!).

For example, I know a mother (she’s a big naysayer in life) who told her daughter that she needed to get back with her abusive ex. She wasn’t necessarily thinking she wanted her daughter to be abused. She was thinking that women can’t survive on their own with three kids and that being in an abusive relationship was much better than being alone, struggling financially, and have the kids being unhappy or living on the street. Her logic was flawed with the tint of a naysayer attitude, but it didn’t stop her from giving her daughter her negative and horrible opinion at every chance she had.

When you understand that naysayers are going to give you their opinion, you will be much less upset when they do despite your wishes. You may still try to show them why their opinion is wrong, but you will understand that they are simply coming from a place of fear and think that you will benefit from hearing their opinion, which is why they can’t keep it to themselves.

Going Forward With Naysayers In Your Life

When you can see where the naysayers are coming from, how unhappy they are, and how they are unable to impact your outcome, you will deal with them much better. Don’t discount everything they say, though. Listen for bits of wisdom that can help you create a better plan to reach your goals, as naysayers can sometimes see possible obstacles before they come into your path.

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Always remember that the most successful and amazing people in this world have moved forward despite the naysayers. They had a lot of people chirping in their ears telling them that they couldn’t or shouldn’t go after their dreams, but they did and succeeded despite that fact. If they can do it, so can you!

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