Deal with frustration
Life is full of frustration. If it was all lollipops and rainbows, it would be a boring life where we never learn and grow as a person. Frustrations in life allow us to grow, change, and become happier. At least that’s the way I see it!
If you are not buying into the fact that frustrating experiences can be extremely rewarding, keep reading this article. It includes some valuable tips on how to overcome frustration. These tips will help you see your frustrations in a completely different way and overcome frustration as well. Don’t just read them, use them!
1. Try To Turn Your Frustrations Into Something Profitable
One of the things I’ve learned from many great entrepreneurs is that having a frustration is a key to a future product that you can create. I think that all products are born this way. You are frustrated with your inability to do something so you create your own solution to fix it. Then you realize that other people can benefit from your solution, so you package it into a book, a service, a product, or whatever, and then you allow other people the chance to buy the solution you created.
For instance, Vishen Lakhiani, the founder of Mindvalley, recently sent out a Facebook post where he talked about a massive frustration in his life of not being able to read all the books he wants to read. Instead of complaining about how little he reads or how he will never be able to read what he wants, he started researching a way to develop a course for speed learning that can solve his own problem and other people’s problem. He said that even Bill Gates has mentioned that if he could have a superpower, it would be to speed learn. He’s surveying people (you can take the survey at https://mindvalley1.typeform.com/to/nT6jZc) and it will be just a matter of time before he develops a course to remove the frustration he has for good.
Imagine being able to make money off your frustration. Imagine creating a business or an empire off your frustration! Isn’t that the ultimate way to overcome frustration? You get rid of the anger or annoyance, and you make a profit off it.
2. Choose Not To Live In Ignorance
A lot of people I’ve talked are frustrated because they don’t know something. In fact, I’ve been frustrated because I didn’t know something. The only way to overcome that frustration is to get the education you need to bring awareness on the subject and remove the obstacle that’s standing in your way.
For instance, if you are frustrated with your inability to get a promotion, be honest with yourself. There is a chance that your boss is a jerk or that one of your co-workers likes to kiss ass, but there is also a chance that you don’t have the knowledge or understanding you need to be promoted. Maybe your boss can clearly see that you are lacking something that is required to get a raise in status and in pay. When you realize that, you can search out ways to educate yourself or get the skills you need and become the person that obviously deserves the promotion.
This tip on overcoming frustration requires some major awareness around yourself, your capabilities, and your limitations. But, awareness stems from being honest with yourself.
As a bonus, being honest with yourself can often remove a lot of frustration that seems to stem from nowhere in life. When you are dishonest with yourself, you can’t see or move past obstacles in life because you are not admitting them to yourself, and that keeps you in a place where you don’t want to be, which is very frustrating.
3. Get Determined
A frustration that stems from being unable to get past something or accomplish something is normal. It just means you haven’t found the right path or way yet. In order to avoid letting your frustrations hold you back from moving forward, you need to get determined to overcome your frustrations and keep going forward. How do you do that?
The best way is to remember that you’ve moved past frustrations before and that you can do it again. It’s not impossible to move past frustrating events, it’s just hard sometimes. I guarantee that you have experienced moving past some frustrating events. And if you’ve done it before, you can do it again. In fact, make that a mantra you say – ‘I’ve done it before and I can do it again!’
The next best way is to remember why you want to move past your frustrations. For instance, if you are in a relationship that is going downhill, and you are frustrated with the way things are going, you need to get determined to fix the relationship. Reminding yourself that you want a happy, healthy, and supportive relationship will help you do what you need to do despite frustrating moments or setbacks.
In order to stay determined, you can post pictures of what you want to accomplish. You can collect quotes, stories, or inspirational messages to help you keep your ‘why’ in check and keep your motivation in check.
4. Get Outside Of Your Head And Into Other People’s Heads
No matter what frustrating situation you are dealing with, getting outside of your head can help. I’m not talking about forgetting the frustration or distracting yourself, although that can help you get a break from the frustration and recharge so that you can think clearer (see the tip on where to put your focus below). But, I’m mostly talking about connecting with other people who have been where you are and have some ideas for you to use. Connecting with other people allows you to brainstorm for yourself.
For example, getting on a forum based on your frustration, and asking a question in regards to how you can overcome it, is a great way to get a bunch of different opinions and insights that you could never come up with on your own. Writing down some of those insights and letting your mind meditate on them is a great way to brainstorm solutions on how to overcome your frustration once and for all.
This is a really important tip that I hope you try out. If you choose to hide the frustration and not let anyone else in, it will be really hard to find solutions on your own. Your focus is limited. Your experiences, attitude, beliefs, and perceptions hold you hostage in a certain way of thinking, and the only way to expand your way of thinking is to get insight from other people who have a completely different way of looking at life and going through life than you.
5. Don’t Be Too Rigid In Life
Often a frustration is born out of expectation. We want things to work out in a certain way, and we become frustrated when they don’t. Then the pain of it not working out the way we want keeps us in a state of frustration, especially if we are unable to turn things around in a way that satisfies us.
The trick to life without constant frustration is to be able to bend and flow. This doesn’t mean that you should give up on your wants or dreams, but it does mean that you should accept that everything you want and dream of may not work out exactly the way you are imagining.
For example, you may work hard at becoming a supervisor in your workplace, but instead get an offer to be promoted to a different position at work. If you are unwilling to let go of the want to be a supervisor, you will be very frustrated. Especially if your boss is unwilling to promote you to that position. But, if you allow yourself to see the value in the promotion you’ve been offered, then you will move forward without frustration but, rather, expectation.
There is one thing I’ve experienced over and over again in life. And that’s the fact that life gives us what we need most, not what we want most. If you want to attract something or someone to you, there is a good chance that you will get a version of that thing or person rather than the exact thing or person you are picturing. I’ve found that the version you receive is always the version you need to grow and get more of what you want in life.
So, celebrate your successes in life, even if they are not exactly what you want. An unexpected event, a new relationship in your life that you didn’t want, a gift that wasn’t what you wanted, or anything else that didn’t exactly line up with your expectations, is probably the exact thing you need in this moment.
6. Always Remind Yourself That Obstacles And Failure Are Good Things!
No matter what, obstacles and failures are good things, which means that frustration is a good thing. It’s a sign that you are on the cusp of learning something new, mastering something better (like patience or compassion), growing as a person, stepping outside of your comfort zone, and moving closer towards what you want.
Overcoming frustration will always reward you by teaching you something about yourself and helping you move closer to who you want to be. Always.
Therefore, the next time you feel frustrated, stop, be present with the frustration, and get excited for a new opportunity for growth. You may not understand how powerful this is now, but I want you to at least try it the next time you are frustrated.
I want you to say out loud, ‘This is great! By finding a way to overcome this frustration, I’m about to make some changes in my life that will improve it!’ Saying it out loud will help the truth of it ring in your ears, which will help you get more excited about it.
7. Don’t Focus On The Frustration
Instead of focusing on the frustration, focus on these two things.
– Focus on what there is to be grateful for in this moment. You will find something if you look hard enough, and usually one idea will spiral into may more.
– Focus on finding a solution to the frustration. This will help you get out of a negative state and into a creative state, which will help you feel better and find a solution quicker.
If you can’t focus on one of those two things because you are so upset or disappointed about the frustrating event, then focus on something completely outside the scope of the frustration to give your mind a break from it. TV, a walk, a conversation with a good friend, or anything else that has nothing to do with the frustration will help.
That will give you some space from being frustrated. It will allow you to let go of those intense emotions that are keeping you focused on the wrong things. When those emotions die out, you will be able to come back to the frustration and find something to be grateful for or start looking for a solution.
8. Get Clear On What You Really Want
A lot of times frustration happens because you don’t know what step to take next. That can be solved by getting clear on what you want and creating a plan to get there.
A lack of clarity will always promote chaos in your life, which will cause you to be frustrated. But, getting clear on what you want will help you move forward even in the face of a setback or an obstacle.
I suggest getting clear on the life you want, the goals you want to achieve, the experiences you want to have, and the ultimate rewards you want to bring in. Then, create small actionable goals to help you move towards the life you want.
If you are currently dealing with a frustration, then get clear on what you want in the specific area you are dealing with. For instance, if you are in a bad relationship, you may not know what you want out of the relationship. You may not know what direction you want the relationship to go. If you sit down and list out things you want, such as ‘communicate well’ or ‘be more intimate’, then you will have something concrete to work towards, and instead of being frustrated about where you are, you can start working towards where you want to be.
9. Don’t Try To Change Other People
Lastly, it’s important to focus on your life and not put your focus on anyone else’s life. If your goal is to make other people’s lives better or help them become more of what you think they should be, then you will always be frustrated. Other people are never going to live up to the expectations you set out for them, and they are never going to reward you in the way you want to be rewarded.
For instance, if you create a course to help other people become happier and post it online, you may become frustrated with the amount of people who don’t understand your intent or who are unwilling to put into practice what you are teaching. You may become frustrated with their comments, their lack of action, or their unwillingness to change. It’s better to create the course with the intent to help people, and then help the people who want to be helped instead of focus on being frustrated with the people who don’t want the help.
In short, it’s important to have the intent to do great things for other people, but you can’t carry an expectation of how that will play out. You can’t carry the expectation of changing other people every time you reach out to them or you will be frustrated more often than not.