It happens! Negative people and situations can instantly make you angry, and many times it can feel like it is out of your control. But, managing your anger is important, not only for your relationships and success, but also for your health. Feeling angry causes stress on the body, which can lead to a number of diseases and issues that you would probably rather avoid. Following are some easy anger management techniques that will help you move through negative situations in a positive way.
If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say…
The old saying to keep your mouth shut unless you have something nice to say can really help you with anger management. Words have a lot of power over your emotions, and expressing how you feel in the heat of the moment can often make you feel even angrier than when you choose not to say anything at all.
For instance, say the word ‘hate’ out loud. Notice that you feel a negative twinge somewhere in your body when you say it. It may be a small twinge or a big twinge, but you should feel it. That’s because the word ‘hate’ has a lot of negative energy behind it.
When you are angry, you don’t just say one word such as hate; instead, you say a bunch of negative words, and their negative energy can add up and intensify your anger.
Words can always help you justify your anger, which makes letting it go that much harder. Therefore avoid saying words, such as:
– Never – “You never listen to me!”
– Always – “You always treat me poorly!”
– Impossible – “It’s impossible to live with you!”
This doesn’t mean that you should allow yourself to get walked on or mistreated. But, choosing to avoid saying negative words can really help you de-escalate the anger quickly and move into a more positive state that promotes positive outcomes.
Breathing is a powerful tool that you have immediate access to when you are angry. When you get angry, your body goes through some changes. The rational part of your brain shuts down and the reflexive areas of the brain take control. The body becomes tense, and among other things, your rate of breathing increases. Soon after that, hormones are released, which cause you to stay in a heightened state of arousal that gets you amped up to fight. Taking control of your breathing is one way to relax your body, calm down, and stop the physiological changes from happening.
Deep breathing helps to slow your heart rate and refocus on something other than the stressor. It’s important to take deep breaths from your diaphragm, though, because breathing from your chest will not have the desired effect; in fact, it may even escalate your anger.
Use The Power Of Positive Words
As we already talked about, negative words like ‘hate’ can promote a negative energy that escalates the anger. But, other words can help you to de-escalate your anger.
For instance, positive words or phrases, such as ‘relax’, ‘calm down’, or ‘let it go’, can help relieve the tension and move into a more relaxed state. Try saying positive words or phrases to yourself combined with deep breathing to help you get the relief you need during a moment of anger.