We are all born with the skill of self-confidence. As kids, we think pretty highly of ourselves and we are not afraid to show off our talents. But, thanks to parents, family, teachers, and peers, we slowly lose the ability to maintain confidence as our self-esteem takes hit after hit.
The good news is that we can develop the skill of self-confidence again – and, it is a skill that needs to be developed. Skill means that we have the ability to do something well, and confidence requires you to do some things very well.
Engage In Positive Self-Talk
The way you talk to yourself affects your confidence in a big way. Many of us are pretty skilled at talking to ourselves negatively by minimizing our strengths, putting ourselves down, and focusing on our weaknesses. Unfortunately, most of us have lost the ability to have a positive inner dialogue.
Lately, positive self-talk has been associated with new thought philosophies, but it has long been a widely accepted technique to stop negative practices and increase self-confidence. Highly respected psychologists openly talk about how changing your inner dialogue can impact your life in a big way.
A Simple 3-Step Process To Improve Your Self-Talk
1. Listen to your inner voice. Many of us don’t actually hear it; instead, we accept it as truth and allow it to control our lives. But our inner voice is just a voice that doesn’t always speak the truth. It gets its thoughts from experiences that we have had and current experiences that we are having. When you start to listen to it, as if it was someone else talking to you, then you can start to pause the conversation and distinguish the facts from the fluff.
2. You need to recognize why you are talking to yourself so negatively. What is the driving force that makes you beat yourself up or put yourself down? Treat yourself as you would a best friend and try to figure out what is going on. Being able to reflect on why your confidence is so low can help you figure out what words of encouragement and support you need to start telling yourself.
3. Start saying those words of encouragement and support to yourself, just as you would to a friend. When you really start to view yourself as a personal friend, then you will naturally start to see yourself in a different light and talk to yourself differently.
When you become your strongest cheerleader through positive self-talk, you will have more control over your ability to feel confident despite what happens in life or what other people say or do.
Live As A Confident Person Would Live
You have probably heard the saying, ‘Fake it ’til you make it!’ When it comes to confidence, this saying is important.
You have to start behaving in a confident way if you want to feel more confident about yourself. While positive self-talk is a huge contributor to developing confidence, you can’t sit curled up in a ball talking to yourself positively and expect to really feel the confidence you desire.
How can you fake it ’til you make it? Don’t do anything too over the top that will send you right back to where you started. Being overly fake will rub people the wrong way and will stress you out. It’s important to do little things that help you feel better about yourself and your abilities.
– Dress to impress. Wearing nice clothes that complement you will instantly make you feel better about yourself. Moreover, it will impress other people and they will treat you better. While it may seem a little superficial, it is a technique to boost confidence that you do want to use.
– Take action on the things you want in life. You don’t have to take huge action, but it should be some sort of step that gets you closer to where you want to be. For instance, work on a talent you want to develop, join an online group that interests you, or pick up a book and start learning how to tackle an issue that you’ve been having. Every step you make towards self-improvement will help boost your ability to be confident.
In the end, there are many other things you can do when it comes to developing the skill of self-confidence, but the tips above will really have an impact on your life.