December 2, 2015

How Confident Women Are Made: A Step-By-Step Guide To Gaining Confidence

I don’t know one woman who is naturally confident. Thanks to stereotypes, media, traditions, and messages from peers, most women start out as confident babies and then turn into a puddle of insecurities by the time they reach their twenties. Body image, career, relationships, and stability are all some of the things that women stress out about and lose trust in as they age.

Yet, we are seeing a movement of confident women popping up everywhere. We see them expressing their true selves, going after what they want, and not putting up with a mediocre life that they are told they should have. But, these women don’t just suddenly gain confidence, then work on it and eventually end up in a place where confidence is the trait that drives them in life.

7 Steps Women Need To Take To Become Confident Women

Step 1: Drop The Victim Mentality

All confident women had to take steps to get out of a victim mentality. Without doing that, every woman would still be insecure in every area of their life. And trust me, everyone has a victim mentality in some area of their life.

A victim mentality is where you believe that you have no control over what happens and that everyone else is out to get you, even when that is clearly not the truth. People with a victim mentality tend to blame others for their problems and focus on worries and fears that they have rather than facts.

For instance, a woman who has a victim mentality towards relationships might think that she deserves to stay in an unhealthy relationship. She may believe that she doesn’t deserve any better, so why bother? Or, she may think that love is supposed to be rough, so she might as well keep the relationship she has and not start over with another jerk.

You will never meet a confident woman who has a victim mentality. Never. She can’t exist. Just like you will never meet someone insecure without a victim mentality on some level.

How Can You Recognize If You Are A Victim In Life?

– You blame others for your problems and take very little to no responsibility for what happens to you.
– You feel that you can’t have the life you want.
– You feel helpless in life.
– You believe that some higher power is out to get you and keep you miserable.
– You feel sorry for yourself and want others to feel sorry for you as well.
– You talk about your problems in life to everyone who will listen.
– If you do try, you give up quickly and prove to yourself that you are not capable.

How Can You Get Out Of A Victim Mentality?

The simple awareness that you are living in a state of victim mentality is enough to help you start to move out of it. Once you can see that you are holding a perception towards life that his holding you back from the life you want – and that you can easily change your perception if you choose to do so and have a much better life, you will start to find ways to do so.

In addition, you will start to see that everything that happens to you is a result of a choice or action you made, and that will help you make better choices and take more thought-out action.

Confident women have overcome their negative thoughts about what they deserve in life and they’ve realized that others can’t hurt them without their consent. They have taken action on their life and their happiness and stopped pointing the finger at everyone else when their life isn’t going the way they want it to.

Step 2: Start Taking Consistent Action On Personal Growth

Once women start to drop the victim mentality, they start to work on personal growth. They start to make peace with who they are, their past, their body, their relationships, their goals, their dreams, and everything else in their life and start working towards gaining confidence in those areas. If this sounds like a lot, that’s because it is. It doesn’t just happen overnight.

Awareness of what are of your life needs the most work is the key. For instance, if you are lacking confidence in relationships the most, then that is something you need to work on. Alternatively, if you are lacking the confidence to succeed financially on your own, then that is something you have to start working on.

The great thing about personal growth is that if you work on one area of your life, it benefits other areas of your life at the same time. When you become more capable in handling your personal relationships, you also become more capable in handling your work relationships. All the progress you make leaks into other areas of your life and helps you get a head start on growth before you actually tackle that area.

But, you have to start somewhere specific. If you try to tackle your whole life at once, then you will become overwhelmed and lose confidence in your ability to grow, which is exactly what you don’t want to do!

Therefore, sit down and look at your life and where you need more confidence. Then, make a plan to start working on that area of your life.

For instance, if you need more confidence in your relationships, then find people who can help you change your point of view about your relationships, such as a therapist or a good friend who is successful in love. Ask the hard questions and accept the hard answers, and then use them to start working on changing the way you think and interact in your relationships.

Step 3: Face Fears

You can learn all you want, but the real confidence comes when you start to put your new information into action. Almost everything you do at first is going to feel scary. You will be facing things that you’ve never faced and doing things that you’ve never done. It will feel awkward and frightening, and you will be tempted to retreat back into your shell and forget the whole thing, but don’t.

Picture confident women and you will not see them recoiling in fear when something they want is within their grasp. They keep their head high and push through their fears to get what they want.

It might help you to have a plan in place for your fears. Following are suggestions to help you overcome some of the most common fears.

– Fear of rejection: Choose to be grateful that you even have a chance to try.
– Fear of failure: Remember that failure will teach you what doesn’t work and increase your chances for success next time.
– Fear of criticism: Other people have their own perception on life, but it doesn’t make it right or affect your self-worth.
– Fear of embarrassment: People think about you a lot less than you think. If you embarrass yourself, they will probably have forgotten about it by lunch.
– Fear of socializing: Remind yourself of everything you have to offer others before you need to interact with a group in any way.

That’s just a short list. Make a list of some fears you have and come up with a statement that counteracts that fear and motivates you to keep moving forward. Then, carry that list with you and refer to it when you are scared so your imagination doesn’t take over the situation.

Always remember that your confidence is on the other side of fear. Confident women are made by facing fears and coming out alright. Every time you prove to yourself that you are a woman who can do and get what she wants, you will become slightly more confident, and that will move you towards bigger and better things.

Step 4: Let Go Of What Others Think

At some point, all confident women have to stop worrying about what others think if they want to get the life they want. They can’t please everyone when they are trying to please themselves, which means that others may be disappointed, upset, negative, hurtful, and unhelpful on their journey. That’s something that confident women just have to accept.

A good example of this is a traditional mother whose daughter has decided to take her own path in life. The mother expects the daughter to get married to a specific type of person, have kids, and stay in that relationship come hell or high water so that other people don’t judge her as being a bad wife. The daughter has no desire to get married to a man who her mother envisions and doesn’t even know if she wants kids. In addition, she knows that she will never stay in an unhappy relationship no matter how many people think that she is going against some code of ethics for marriage. The daughter has to move forward despite what her mother says, and while that can be hard to do, it has to be done for true confidence in her life.

It’s important to trust yourself in this life. You are equipped with all the information you need to make your life happy and fulfilling. Other people don’t know what is best for you, so don’t let them dictate what you will or will not do. Connect with your inner self and then let that voice be the one voice that you listen to at all times. If you do, then your confidence will grow exponentially!

Step 5: Get A Blueprint

There’s no need to dig out your own path towards the life you want. There are plenty of confident women who have found success in all areas of their life, and they have a blueprint that you can use to help you get through barriers that may stand in your way.

For instance, if you are working towards becoming a successful entrepreneur than obstacles such as stereotypes and lack of respect may be something you encounter. Instead of fighting through that barrier and trying to figure out how to overcome it, you can learn from women who have been there and done that. They can teach you what worked for them and what didn’t, and they can show you how they made sure to maintain their confidence through the ordeal.

There are plenty of biographies and personal stories out there, but you can always reach out and ask someone who has been in your position too. There is never any harm in reaching out to confident women who may have something beneficial to share with you on your way to a confident and successful life.

Step 6: Make Happiness A Priority

Confident women make happiness a priority in life. Insecure women make negative emotions a priority in their life.

Thankfully, we all have the choice to be happy in life. Other people can affect our body, and our body can give out, but our ability to think positive thoughts and feel good is never taken away from us. We just have to choose it.

Stop accepting an unhappy life, or even a mediocre life, and start to expect better things for yourself. The more you believe that you deserve to have happiness in your life, the more confident you will be in every decision you make and action you take.

Moreover, you will be confident in your past choices. You won’t regret the decisions you have made because you will know that since happiness is your priority, every decision you make is based on achieving more happiness for yourself.

How Can You Make Happiness A Priority?

– Stop getting stuck in those negative conversations with yourself and other people.
– Follow a rule that you will only focus on what you can do, not on what you can’t do.
– Follow the golden rule and treat other people the way you want to be treated.
– Change your perception on life and try to see the good in every moment.
– Live for today, not tomorrow or yesterday.
– Be kind to people so that your thoughts and emotions can stay in a positive state.

Once you start to make happiness a must, and not just a pipe dream, you will notice your confidence will easily and effortlessly rise as you do things that make you feel good.

Step 7: Act As If You Are Confident When You Are Not Feeling It

Lastly, it has been shown that changing your behavior can help you change your thoughts and feelings about yourself. In other words, if you act confident, and portray a confident person, it can give you a boost of internal confidence when you really need it.

Therefore, when you wake up with dread, hop out of bed as if you are looking forward to the day. When you are feeling insecure about meeting someone new, put your shoulders back and head high and act as if you are confident in your meeting. These little actions will help you get through the toughest times when confidence is lacking.

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