December 6, 2015

How To Keep Moving Forward Instead Of Giving Up

Abraham Maslow once said, “What human beings can be, they must be.” It’s nice in theory, but some days it’s hard to keep moving forward in life. Some days life can feel overwhelming and you want to just give up. And if you let that feeling take over you, then you may find yourself standing still for a long time or even giving up completely. Do you need a push to keep moving forward? This article will focus on how to keep moving forward by following a few simple strategies.

Ban Negative People From your Life

If you blog, then you know that you can ban users from seeing your site. You can ban anyone you want for any reason. Certain sites ban whole countries from using their site. Even social sites have options for you to block certain people from your life. And the site itself can ban certain users from using their site.

For instance, Facebook allows you to block out people who are annoying you or offending you on both your personal page and professional page. Moreover, Facebook has quite a few rules in place for what they allow on their site, such as no identify fraud, no spamming, and no inappropriate content. There are actually teams that handle hate, threats, violence, and harassment.

The point? There are going to be people in your life who hurt you, make you feel bad, try to make you look bad, and make you want to give up. You are allowed to ban people from your life who attack you, harass you, say and do inappropriate things, and threaten your motivation in any way.

Create your own ‘terms of service’ for people who want to be in your life. Create the rules for what you will allow and will not allow in your life. And then ban people who don’t abide by them. Some good terms of service to include for your ability to keep moving forward include:

– You will not bully me.
– You will not harass me.
– You will not intimate me.
– You will not threaten me.

And if you do any of the above, I reserve the right to remove and ban you from my life.

If you can’t completely ban them, then block them. Avoid them. Don’t purposely seek them out. With them out of your life as much as possible, you will be able to focus more on what you need to do.

Leave Behind Your Baggage

Looking back on what has happened in your life, such as the failures you have encountered, the struggles you have had, and the negative experiences that have made you feel horrible about yourself, others, and this world, is enough to make anyone want to give up. That’s why you need to keep looking forward to where you want to go, and not behind you where you never want to be again.

Most of us, though, collect a bunch of experiences and stuff it in our ‘bag of life’. I’ve found that recognizing what is in that bag and then visualizing myself physically putting it down on the ground and walking away from it has helped me leave a lot of my baggage behind. Whatever has stayed with me, required me to seek help that allowed me to directly tackle the issue.

Obviously not everything in your past is bad, and you can use past successes to help you keep moving forward, but there are many things that you just don’t need to be focused on in the past. It’s done. You’ve been there and done that. Put it down and get ready for new experiences, new challenges, and new successes.

Stop Taking Things So Seriously

This is a big one. We tend to make a big deal out of things instead of just taking them as they are. If you take things that happen very seriously, then you are going to have a hard time moving forward. You will be stuck thinking about what happened and how you feel that it affects you, or what will happen and how stressed out that makes you. And that will all take a toll on what you do in the moment.

Life is a series of events, and we have to keep moving on with life if we want to experience and benefit from all of those events. If you focus on one tiny event that happens, then you can miss out on hundreds more. One of the best little mantras I use in my daily life is ‘This too shall pass’. It is a reminder that everything is fleeting and I don’t need to take things so seriously because soon they will pass and be gone from my life.

Develop A Squirrel Brain

John Eliot wrote in his book ‘Overachievement: The New Model for Exceptional Performance’ that great performers, while smart, well-trained, experienced, and talented, use their brains much like a squirrel does during a performance. They enter into a ‘Trusting Mindset’ where they trust their skills and don’t stop to overthink what they are doing or what they did. He says that access to this ‘Trusting Mindset’ is what makes the great performers so great.

In other words, you can make plans, have routines, and work towards goals, but don’t stop to think about every single detail along the way, and don’t stop to worry about every detail afterwards. Develop a trusting mindset and just go with the flow.

For instance, don’t wake up and think, “I don’t think I can get through today! There’s too much on my plate. What if I don’t do things right? What if make a huge mistake? What if people judge me? I will probably make mistakes and they will judge me! Oh my god! I can’t do this!”

Instead, jump in the shower and trust in your talent and ability to make things happen. Trust that you know what to do. Trust that you will make the right decisions. Trust that everything will work out for the best. Trust that whatever happens, happens for a reason. Don’t take it all so seriously. And then get busy taking action on your day.

Get Motivated, But Focus On Discipline

When it comes to how to keep moving forward, motivation is often listed as one of the top things. You need to get motivated in order to start moving, and you need to maintain a sense of motivation in order to keep moving. But, discipline needs to takeover when motivation simply disappears for a while – and it will disappear.

For instance, if you need to get to the top floor of a building, motivation can help you to start walking up the staircase, but as you get tired, you may start to consider going back down. If you can convince yourself that you no longer need to get to the top of the building (even though you really do), you will stop climbing – unless you have the discipline to always keep moving towards your goal.

How can you develop discipline?

– Acknowledge where you need discipline. If you find that you often give up on your career goals, then you need discipline in your career. If you find that you give up on your health goals, then you need discipline in your health. Don’t try to deny where you need it. We all have our weaknesses where we have become accustomed to giving up. If you want to keep moving forward towards the life you want, you have to be honest with yourself.

– Keep your eye on the prize! You are working towards something in life (if you are not, you should be!) and that prize is one thing that will keep you disciplined in times where you want to give up. This is what vision boards are good for. When you create a goal, post pictures and quotes on your vision board that remind you of why you want to reach that goal, and at all times – but especially times of struggle – look at the vision board to remind you why you are doing what you are doing and let the desire discipline you to keep going.

– Develop the belief that you can handle stress in the moment. Stress is the culprit that will cause you to give up. The stress of walking up the stairs, for example, will be felt in your legs and chest, and if you tell yourself that you can’t handle it, you will stop. Fortunately, we are capable of living through all kinds of stress, and once we start acknowledging that, the stress we feel during certain tasks causes less of an issue and becomes more of a sign that we are working towards something we really want. Welcome the stress instead of resisting it and let it push you forward.

Take Care Of What Needs To Be Taken Care Of

While writing this article, I got violently sick for a few hours. I’m talking about major stomach pain and being unable to leave the bathroom or even sit up properly. Once I felt better and started writing again, my dog got sick and threw up all over the carpet. Once I got that cleaned up, I got sick again! It’s interesting that during a time where I was writing about how to keep moving forward, I couldn’t move at all!

But, once I was able to sit upright and felt normal again, and I sat back down to write, I realized that in order to keep moving forward, you do have to tend to emergencies. You can’t keep pushing through them because your mind will be stuck on them and you will be unable to do what you need to; moreover, you will be unable to do it well.

If an emergency arises, take care of it. Get it resolved before you get back on track.

If you are unable to concentrate or do what you need to do well, stop doing it for a while. It’s a sign that you need to relax.

If you get sick, take care of yourself and then keep moving forward. Don’t try to force yourself to do something you are not capable of doing or shouldn’t be doing.

The bottom line is to always take care of yourself and replenish your energy when you need to. It’s OK to take some time out of your day to take care of unexpected things and focus on them. In fact, you need to do that if you want to maintain your energy, sanity, and health so that you can keep moving forward in life. Other people will understand, and if they don’t, you may want to think about banning them from your life!

Do What’s Really Important And Feels Good

One of the best ways to make sure you keep moving forward is to do what you think is really important in life and stuff that feels good to you. That’s the key to waking up most days with enthusiasm and enjoying your days as you move through them. That’s the key to motivation and discipline. That’s the key to looking forward to what you got to do after a vacation that takes you away from regular life.

If you are trying to do things that don’t matter to you, just for the sake of doing them, then you are going to lose interest and feel like giving up. How can you tell if you don’t feel like what you are doing is important?

– You hate doing it (simple, but true).
– You would quit doing it instantly if you won a million dollars tomorrow.
– You wouldn’t fight for it if someone told you they were going to take it away from you.
– You are always wishing you were doing something else instead of it.

If there are some things that just don’t feel important to you anymore then, as scary as it is, you may want to consider giving them up. This includes giving up ways of thinking, ways of behaving, relationships, habits, jobs, and anything else that just doesn’t resonate with you anymore.

You only have so much time in this life. Make it count and do things that actually feel good to you. That will ensure you keep moving forward despite setbacks or obstacles. The desire to do it will outweigh the desire to stop.

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