When it comes to how to make people like you, telling lies is at the bottom of the list. There are plenty of people who try to win over others with lies about who they are and what they like. But those people aren’t very well liked, whether they know it or not. People may be nice to their face and pretend to like them, but deep down they can tell they are being tricked by them and feel a little bit ‘off’ about their relationship with them.
When someone really likes you, they like who you are, how you relate to them and the world around you, and what you stand for. They like your passion or purpose. They like the way you move through this world. They even like the differences that you have and what you can teach them through those differences.
And, most importantly, they like how you make them feel, which is why someone can never truly like someone being fake to them. They will always feel like they are being manipulated in some way, and nobody likes to be manipulated.
How To Make People Like You The Right Way
Other people really like you when you make them feel good about themselves. How can you do that? There are two big ways.
1. Show Them Things About You That They Like About Themselves
If you can show someone that you are just like them in ways that they like about themselves, then you can form a bond with them. You can form a likeness bond!
Again, you don’t need to be fake or lie. For example, if you want someone to like you and they are a big family person, you don’t need to pretend that you have a great family if you don’t. That’s not going to win them over because they know what someone who likes their family talks like and acts like, and you won’t be able to replicate those words or actions if you don’t genuinely like your family.
But, that doesn’t mean you can’t find other things in common with them. For example, you both may be very driven at work. That’s a commonality that will help them like you. You can share productivity secrets, work together to make great things happen, and talk about the lack of drive in other people around you. That similarity is enough to make someone like you, even if you have other differences.
It’s also important to show interest in their life. Show interest in their:
Or anything else that they bring up. You don’t have to be completely similar to them and agree with everything they say in order for them to like you, but showing interest will validate who they are, which will make them feel good about themselves. And validating other people as being fine just the way they are is a great way to get people to like you.
It’s also good to ask for their help once in a while. This shows them that you value their skills and knowledge, which will make you instantly more likable to them. Just make sure to be genuine. Don’t ask for help with something you are absolutely good with or they will question your motives.
And don’t forget to use your body language in a way that reminds them of how interesting they are. Yes, you can show them that they are interesting without even saying a word.
There are a few simple tricks that will help them feel heard, validated, and important as they talk to you, and I guarantee they will like you much more for it. I’ve perfected these tricks over the years and use them in every conversation I have. It may take you a while to perfect them too, but once you do, everyone will like much more.
– Eye contact: This is a simple way to show a lot of interest. When you look into someone’s eyes as they are talking, you are saying, “I hear you and I’m really listening to you!” It’s an easy way to help them feel as if you really give a crap about what they are saying. Just don’t stare too much or you can become creepy. Occasionally look away to reflect on what they said or to gather your thoughts. That will help you give the right amount of contact without having to worry about it.
– Nodding your head: As they talk, nodding your head at certain times shows that you are agreeing with what they say or understanding what they say. Both are important to getting them to feel good about themselves because.
– Turn towards them: There is no better way to make someone feel like they are talking to someone who cares than to turn your body towards them. This is positive body language during communication 101. If you are sitting, turn your torso towards them slightly, not just your head. If you just turn your head, it could give them the impression that you are uncomfortable or not really interested in what they are saying, and that will cause them to not like you very quickly. If you are standing, turn your entire body towards them.
– Smile with your whole body: You can smile with your mouth, but you can also smile with your eyes and your body too. Smiling expresses the fact that you like someone, feel comfortable with them, and want to know more about them, so use it in conversations as often as it is warranted. Smiling with your body means keeps your body loose and open. Don’t close yourself off by crossing your arms or getting tense. Keep yourself open and your ‘smile’ will be seen by everyone you talk to.
You can also use mirroring to help someone like you. While engaging with someone, mirror how they move, talk, and act. This helps people relate to you, especially people of less or more power. However, it also helps people like you more by building trust and respect with them.
People believe that when someone is showing the same gestures or using the same words in speech, that they have a lot in common with the other person. In fact, they can believe that they share the same beliefs or values, even though they haven’t talked about those things yet. That’s the power of showing someone that you are similar to them.
However, I want to add something to the concept of mirroring. If you are around a grumpy or a negative person, mirroring isn’t the best option. It may help you build some rapport with them, but all it will do is make YOU grumpy or negative, and that will cause positive people to dislike you. If someone is a negative energy, then it’s much better to use the next idea on how to make people like you.
2. Help Them Move Away From Things They Hate About Themselves
When you can help someone grow or become a better person, they will like you. This can be done by teaching them lessons directly or leading by example.
The biggest tip on how to make people like you through this method is to focus on being a happy person. Do things that make you feel good. Say things that make you feel good. Act in a way that makes you feel good. Believe in what feels good.
The most important thing you can do to be a happy person is to live in a way that makes you feel good. And it will have a huge impact on how you make others feel.
It’s hard not to respect someone who does good things for themselves and lives their life in a good way. We all want to be more like that, so living a life focused on good things is a great way to help other people see that it’s possible and stop doing things that they hate or make them feel bad.
The second biggest tip on how to make people like you through this method is to do what you think is right. A lot of people kick themselves after they make a choice that doesn’t align with who they are. They beat themselves up about it. They talk negatively to themselves. And they hate themselves for giving in to a choice that doesn’t make them happy in the slightest. If you can lead by example, and do what’s right in all situations, you will stand out as a positive role model in these people’s lives, and people will like you for it.
For example, a friend of mine used to work in a senior’s home where everyone slacked off, expect for one person. She could have slacked off too, but, instead, she did what she thought was right. She worked hard. One day my friend was talking to her about why she worked so hard, and she said that she did it for the seniors. She felt like they deserved as much attention and care as she could give them, so she worked hard every day to make sure that happened. My friend instantly liked her and, even though they had a lot of differences, he never lost that respect and admiration he had for her.
Lastly, do what you love in life. Many people are not living a life full of purpose or passion, and if you are someone who is, then you will remind other people (people who want to feel more fulfilled and alive) that they can do it too.
This is one of the reasons I like blogging so much. You get to live your passion and your purpose at the same time. And I think it’s helped me build a lot of positive connections with other people.
Some Extra Tips On How To Make People Like You
So, you now know to show them things they like about themselves and help them move away from things they hate about themselves, but there are some extra tips that will help you engage with other people in a way that forces them to like you.
1. In A Big Group Of People Do This
If you are in a group of people, and you want someone in particular to like you, make sure you give them more attention than everyone else. Not a lot, which will make them feel uncomfortable, but enough to make them feel like you feel closer to them than anyone else.
For example, if someone tells a joke that makes you all laugh, make quick eye contact with the person you want to like you. People make eye contact with someone they feel closest to first, so by doing this, you are creating a bond.
2. Speak Positively About Yourself
Tell a great story about yourself. Make people like you by painting yourself in a fun and positive light.
It’s a well-known fact that the more you like yourself, the more people will like you, while the more you hate yourself, the more people will find something wrong with you just as you do with yourself.
When you speak, find things to be grateful for. Focus on the abundance that you have in your life. Don’t hide your failures, but let people know that you’ve learned and grown from them. Let people see how proud you are of yourself and how much potential you have in life.
But, don’t boast about yourself! Don’t try to make yourself seem perfect. You are not. They know that and you know that, so don’t pretend you are. Speak about yourself with a positive but humble tone.
3. Listen More Than You Speak
Nobody likes someone who talks about themselves all the time. I used to have a friend who would call, talk for fifteen minutes about herself, and then end the conversation without asking me about myself. I liked her less and less each time she gave me a call. She liked me a lot, though!
The more you listen, the more someone will be able to tell you about why they are great, and the more they will be reminded why they are great! It’s a great way to get them to like you more and more each time you talk to them.
4. Appreciate People For Who They Are
This is a tough one for many people, but it is an important tip on how to make people like you. When you can appreciate someone for who they are, annoyances, faults, and all, you are telling them that you think they are perfect just the way they are, and they will like you for that.
This doesn’t mean that you have to accept someone who hurts you or who is hurting themselves. But, if you have different beliefs and habits in life, you can appreciate them for theirs without judgment or hate. You can let them be themselves and still make them a part of your life.
5. Talk Good About Others
You can be the greatest person in the world, but if you start talking bad about people in front of other people in a gossipy or judgmental way, then they are going to worry that you are going to do the same thing to them when their backs are turned. Moreover, it’s going to make you look like a judgmental and petty person, which isn’t a very likable trait.
6. Don’t Be Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
One of my old friends was a great person is front of me and other people in our lives, but became a gossipy and judgmental person in front of other people. Why? Because he knew me – and those others people – for years and could just be himself, but felt like he needed to conform to what other people wanted him to be when he was around other people.
Unfortunately, it highlighted his insecurity, which made others not like him, and it caused him to ignore me and treat me poorly in front of other people who demanded more of his attention. It was hard to like him or respect him after he would treat me so bad, and eventually I couldn’t be around him anymore in groups. That caused us to lose our bond, and we stopped being friends not long after that.
He hasn’t been the only person in the world to do that and he won’t be the last. I see the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde disorder in many people I know, and it’s hard to fully respect them because of it. If I see it, other people see it – even the people in your life – and you could be scaring off your family, friends, and potential friends because of it.
Be you. Be you around everyone. Don’t compromise yourself to try to impress other people. You are impressive enough just the way you are.