When you have a life is happening to you. You can spend years letting life beat you down, take control of you, and decide your fate, or you can take control of your life and overcome your victim mentality. Following are two steps to start developing a more powerful way of thinking.
Step 1: Recognize That You Are Acting Like A Victim
Most people get trapped into believing that they ‘are’ a victim instead of recognizing the fact that they ‘choose’ to be a victim. We can all make choices that benefit us, no matter what situations we are in, so we all have the power to move out of a victim state and into a more powerful state of being.
Recognize that your life is not determined by other people’s actions or behaviors; instead, your life is determined by your actions and behaviors. Therefore, if you are living with a victim mentality, you are choosing to act as if other people have control over you and behave as if you have no choice in the matter.
You may say things like:
– It’s out of my control
– I can’t do anything about it
– It’s none of my business
– I don’t want to make them angry or upset
– They will take something away from me if I stand up for myself
All of these are the statements of a victim, and if you are saying them to yourself, then you are acting like a victim. Once you can see that these statements are not the truth, they are just how you choose to view a situation, then you can start overcoming your victim mentality.
Step 2: Recognize Your Beneficial Beliefs And Build Upon Them
People with a victim mentality have very limiting beliefs. All limiting beliefs are only true some of the time or none of the time. In other words, you may have had no control over something in the past, but that doesn’t mean you have no control over something now. Moreover, you may believe that being a victim is a good or righteous thing to do, but the truth is it is far from good or righteous – it is an unwarranted punishment you put on yourself.
Deep inside of you, there are beliefs that are not limiting. They are where your power lies. But, with a victim mentality, you are ruled by your limiting beliefs. They take away from your true power. If you want to get rid of your limiting beliefs, you have to start strengthening your beneficial beliefs.
Sit down and identify the beliefs that you have about yourself that are not victim orientated. They may be that you are good at something, have freedom in this life, deserve to be comfortable in life, or that you deserve a loving partner.
Find the beliefs that make you feel strong and take a deep look at them. Find examples from your past to prove your beneficial beliefs and reflect on why they are so important to your life. For example, remember a success you had in the past that made you feel amazing about yourself and propelled you to further success.
Reflect on what will happen if you keep suppressing those beliefs below your limiting beliefs. Get emotional about those beliefs and how important it is to have it in your life. For example, if you keep suppressing your right to freedom, then you are no better than a robot or machine that is told what to do, how to do it, and when to do it.
Then develop a plan of action to strengthen your beneficial beliefs so that you don’t keep suppressing them. You may want to talk to a therapist, read up on why those specific beliefs are important to your happiness, or meditate on the truth of your beliefs and how they are important in your life.
The more you focus on building your beneficial beliefs, the more your limiting beliefs will be destroyed and free you from your victim mentality.