December 2, 2015

Life Sucks: 10 Things To Do When You Hate Life

One definition that I found of ‘sucks’ was quite interesting to me. It went like this: a weak, self-pitying person; a crybaby or sore loser; a person who won’t go along, especially out of spite. I hate to say it, but even when I’ve said, “Life sucks!” in the mirror, that is exactly the type of person I saw staring back at me.

I was feeling sorry for myself, I was upset about not having things work out the way I wanted it to, and I refused to do what needed to be done to fix everything because I just wanted to make everyone suffer, including myself, because I was feeling so negative. I can see that with great clarity now, but at the time I think I really believed what I was telling myself to be true.

Therefore, the first way to get over the ‘life sucks’ state is to gain awareness that your perception is what is actually making it suck, not the reality of what is happening. Yes, you may have had your toe run over by a car, but that doesn’t mean that life sucks. There are plenty of people who have bad experiences happen to them and keep moving through and viewing life in a positive and optimistic way.

Moreover, there are plenty of people who have figured out that – yes, their life really does suck and they need to do something about it. However, that comes from the perception that you CAN do something about it!

For instance, a woman in an abusive relationship with three kids may feel like life sucks. And, at that point it does! But, if she takes the steps to get out of that life and require more of herself, then life will start feeling better.

The reason I chose an abusive relationship with three kids is because I have two friends who have been in that situation. One friend realized that life could be much better, so she called on her friends and family (me included), got the help she needed to get out of the relationship, found a way to get a place for her and her kids, and started her new life on her own terms. The other friend is still stuck in the abusive relationship living a daily pity party about how much her life sucks and how she just can’t wait until it ends. Two people, same situation, two different outcomes.

10 Ways To Stop Hating Life

1. Find Meaning

Many people who are stuck in the ‘life sucks’ phase have lost the meaning in their life. All their things and relationships have lost meaning, all of life’s little challenges have lost meaning, so their actions have also lost meaning. Why bother doing anything if everything is pointless?

We need some meaning in this life to wake up every day with enthusiasm. When we just go from bed to work to couch to fridge to bed, life loses a lot of that spark that makes it worth living, and it starts to feel like a big drag rather than an adventure.

It’s up to you to find the meaning in your life. It may be your kid brother who depends on you. It may be the goals you have set out for yourself. It may be experiencing as much as you can while you are here. It may be practicing a religion or faith that you have taken to.

You have to look past the bad and towards the good. You have to find the things worth living for and then make those your focus point instead of the bad. Even finding one little thing that helps you get out of the bed in the morning will push you towards more happiness.

2. Practice Gratitude

When you are feeling as though life sucks, you are not seeing too much to be grateful for. You are going to have to force yourself to do this at first, but as you go along, you will find it becomes easier and easier to find things that are actually worth being grateful for – and they will help give meaning to your life.

Look around you right now and focus on one thing that you are grateful for. For instance, I see the Ferrero Rocher that a family member bought me and it makes me feel grateful for the chocolate and for the family member. I can taste the chocolate and how happy it makes me, and I can imagine the thought and effort that the family member had to put forth to buy and bring it to me. I am also grateful for the work that someone put into making the chocolate. I can find gratitude for the person or people who grew and picked the hazelnut inside. And I can find gratitude for the person or people who made the milk chocolate a possibility. All that gratitude from one chocolate that is slightly bigger than my right toe!

3. Take Chances

When you see an opportunity to make life better, take it. Even if you feel like crap, take the opportunity to try to make your life better. What do you have to lose? Nothing! Things can’t get any worse when you feel as though life sucks. So, take hold of the offer that comes into your life and put some effort towards it. Give it a chance. Give it as much energy as you can muster. And you may find that the result helps you gain more clarity on why life is actually pretty good for you.

4. Change Your Expectations

Don’t hold on to your expectations so tightly. They can keep you stuck in a life that really does suck.

For instance, that friend of mine who is still stuck in the abusive relationship with three kids believes that it is her obligation to suffer. Her mother taught her that life is hard and marriage sucks, and she shouldn’t expect anything more than a life of suffering and lack. I’m not exaggerating here! She and her mother together are two of the most depressing people you will ever meet. They believe that if they suffer, they will be accepted into heaven at the end of it all, which is why the daughter just wants life to be over.

If she could start to expect more of her time on Earth, then she would be able to stop seeing life as one big disappointment and start to do things that actually made her happy. If she believed that happiness and love were what she was put here for, then she would have no choice but to leave her jerk husband and try to look for it.

Try to change your expectations in life if they are not serving your life well. You don’t deserve to life in a state of stress, unhappiness, guilt, shame, or any other negative emotions. You are here with the capability to feel happiness, love, and compassion, so that must mean that you are worthy of feeling of it. Take on that expectation and life will cease to suck so much as you try to achieve it.

5. Remember How Quickly Things Can Change

Life may suck right now, but tomorrow you could be in a completely different place thanks to the fact that things can change very quickly.

– You may be recognized by someone important and offered something great.
– You may win the lottery.
– You may find your life purpose.
– You may find that perfect partner.
– You may be offered a new job or new opportunity.
– You may have an aha moment that changes your entire life.
– You may find the perfect course to give you the insight you need for a better life.

There are so many things that can happen within a day that you can’t limit yourself to believing that this is all there is. If you are open to things changing, you will keep your eyes open for opportunities to make change. Once you start to really resonate with the hope of change, you will start to feel more positive about life.

6. Do And Accept Good Deeds

Do something for someone else that you know will make them feel good. Say something nice, buy them something to eat if they’re hungry, make them something, shovel their driveway, mow their lawn, or anything else that you can see they would appreciate it. Why? Because you will start to feel better about life.

When you do good things for others, you see more good in the world – even though you are the one doing it. Good in the world has the power to help you see that life doesn’t suck that bad. There are a lot of good things happening every day and you can be a part of those good things if you want to be. You just have to choose to do good deeds and accept good deeds done for you.

7. Pray

I realize this one may not sit well with everyone, but in my experience (and in other people’s experiences), it has worked when nothing else was working.

Even though my best friend is a very religious person, I’ve never been. But, I have still always believed in a higher power. When I got to a very low point in my life, I prayed. I spilled the beans and asked for help. I talked about what I felt like was wrong and I asked for guidance on how to get out of the situation. I asked to feel better. I asked to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Interestingly, I found myself waking during the night and breaking right into prayer without thought. It became something that I could do to make myself feel better during a very hard time, and the more I did it, the more hopeful and uplifted I felt.

For me, the prayer helped me feel connected to something bigger than myself. It allowed me to release my burdens a bit and feel as if someone else had my back and it wasn’t all my responsibility to take on the bad that was happening. It also helped me to express the things that were troubling me that I had been holding inside. Once I was able to let go some of the burdens and responsibility, I was able to focus on better things in life, and that’s when I really found myself lifting out of the ‘life sucks’ mode.

What do you have to lose? If it doesn’t work, no one except you will know that you tried it. If it does work, it may be a tool that you can easily and quickly grab on to when you feel like life is getting to be too much.

8. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Life sucks in comparison to what? If you were born on an island with only a community of a few people and you all had the same shelter, food, and water, would you still think life sucks? Probably not. You would just think ‘this is life’ and enjoy the little adventures of the day. However, if one person built a bigger shelter, got more food, and got special water delivered to them from across the ocean, you may start to feel as though you are missing out on something, and life would start to feel less than great at that point.

My point is that comparing yourself to others is a one-way ticket to the ‘life sucks’ mentality. When you think you are not getting what other people have, and find that upsetting, you are going to start to view your life in a more negative tone.

Therefore, appreciate what you have (practice gratitude) and be happy for other people and what they have. And if you want something more out of life, don’t compare; instead, find out how to build that bigger shelter, get more food, or get that special water delivered and make it happen for yourself.

9. Take Life Day By Day

Looking at the big picture of what has happened or what could happen can definitely lead to the theory that life sucks. If you’ve been experiencing a bunch of setbacks and heartaches lately, then life is going to feel pretty bad and you will likely start to forecast more negativity into your life without actually knowing what is actually going to happen.

If you want to feel better about life, take it day by day. Wake up, appreciate what is happening today, stay focused on the things you need to do, notice the little things that come from being focused on the day and not the future or past, and don’t dwell on what happened or what might happen. This is guaranteed to help you think things other than ‘life sucks’.

10. Change You, Not Life

This is not meant to put anyone down but, rather, provoke some thought. Maybe life isn’t the culprit. After all, there are plenty of people enjoying life right now despite their circumstances. Some of them may even be in the same circumstance as you!

As said, your perception plays a big part in how you view life. The action you take (or lack of action) also plays a part in how you view life. The people you surround yourself with also play a big part in how you view life. The good news is that you are at the center of it all and you have the choice to change your perception, take more and better action, and surround yourself with better people. Change you and life will change.

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