June 1, 2016

The Truth About Learning To See The Good In Others

There seems to be a lot of bad in people. You just have to wake up and have your first interaction with someone to see how bad people can be. Just this morning I woke up with a nasty and unwarranted message from someone on Facebook. In this world where we are in constant contact with others, it’s really easy to see the bad in them and let that viewpoint affect your day, your week, and even your entire life, which is why learning to see the good in others is so important.

The Benefits Of Learning To See The Good In Others

Learning to see the good in others is a habit that we should all be building. To look at other people and see the good not only benefits our lives but their lives and the overall happiness of the world.

When you are focused on the bad in others, you send out a negative vibe. This is because you feel angry or frustrated when you are focused on bad things, and that energy brings you and the people you are around down.

That negative vibe can literally ruin your whole day because once you get into a state of negative energy, you draw more things into your day to align with that state. That’s why they say if you stub your toe in the morning, the rest of the day is going to be bad too. How you feel affects the kind of day you have. And your negative vibe will affect more than just you, it will affect everyone you come into contact with.

I know an older man who sees the bad in everyone. When he talks about other people, he often uses words like ‘jerk’ or ‘idiot’ to describe them, which affects me and everyone he talks to in a negative way. He can easily make everyone in the group feel less happy just by describing his latest interaction with someone.

Of course, the biggest benefit in learning to see the good in others is that it helps you to feel more positive. You feel more loving and compassionate. You feel more trusting. And, that comes with many benefits.

– You are able to maintain a positive energy level and feel good around others despite the circumstances.
– You can influence other people in a positive way through your positive emotions.
– People will be more willing to work with you, help you out, and interact with you.
– Your relationships will grow stronger.
– Your life will become happier and more fulfilling.
– The world will seem like a more loving place.
– You will start to attract more good things into your life with your positive and optimistic attitude.

You Need To See The Bad In Order To See The Bad In Yourself

You don’t need to be blind to the bad in order to see the good in other people. In fact, you should acknowledge the bad in other people because it can give you a lot of insight into yourself and who you do or don’t want to be.

A friend of mine is constantly judging other people on everything from the way their hair is combed to the way they talk. To me, this is an extremely bad part of her that makes her uglier in other people’s eyes and causes her to judge other people through a limited view of what makes them good or not good. She sees everyone as bad because she critiques more than just how they act as a person but also the things that make them who they are, such as their looks, personality, and beliefs.

Being able to clearly see this negative side of my friend has helped me to stop judging people on those shallow and unimportant things. It’s helped me see how ugly it looks on me. It’s helped me see how pointless it is. In short, I’m glad I’ve been able to acknowledge that bad part of her because it’s benefited my entire life.

There is a saying that we often hate things about other people that we hate about ourselves. I’ve always found this to be true when I’m truly angry with someone and unable to have compassion for them. If I’m dealing with the issue myself, then seeing it in other people can easily remind me of what I don’t like about myself and cause me to act out towards them with those feelings of anger and frustration. When I was able to recognize that, my whole life changed.

Being able to see the bad side in other people has helped me become who I am today. Instead of judging them for their bad side, I acknowledge it and try to find it in myself. And I usually do. If I find it, I do what I can to work on eliminating it from myself.

You Can Learn To See The Good Despite The Bad

Just because my friend has a bad side to her, it doesn’t mean that I don’t think she is a good person overall. She is kind and would help anyone, even the people she judges as being not good enough in her standards. Yes, she may do it with a hint of ego, but she would still stop and help anyone in need. She has many other good qualities in her too. Despite her bad qualities, I’m able to clearly see and acknowledge the good qualities that she has.

Don’t focus on the bad when dealing with other people. Try to focus on the good, or at the very least find a balance of good and bad to help you look at them through more compassionate eyes.

The bottom line is that when you focus on the bad in people, they are going to become really ugly in your eyes. You will interact with them harshly, and you may even end your relationship with them because you can’t stop seeing them through such an ugly lens.

But, when you can focus on the good in people, you are going to look past their shortcomings and interact with them in a loving way, which will benefit you and them in the long run.

The fact is that everyone has some bad in them. You are never going to find someone that doesn’t have those qualities that are less-than-attractive.

If you focus on only the bad, you could end up being pretty miserable or lonely in life! There is a rule in life that if you seek good, you find it, but if you seek bad, you find that too. Whatever you focus on, you draw into your life.

Your inability to move past people’s faults and celebrate their strengths will cause you to end relationship after relationship until you find yourself with no one to talk to and share life with. And, after it is all said and done, nobody will be there to celebrate your life when it ends because they will see you as someone who was constantly putting down theirs.

You Only See A Fraction Of Who Others Are

What about those people who are obviously bad people? How can you see the good in them when they never do or say anything good?

It’s easy to judge people based on our opinion of what we see. We label someone a jerk because they yelled at us or flipped us off while driving. We label someone mean because they put down someone else through a comment or constantly try to make us feel bad. But, I’ve found that most people are much more complex and have much more going on than just the one or two things we see about them.

Every person is living in their own universe – so to speak. They are having their own experiences, struggling with their own struggles, and trying to make the most out of everything in the best way that they can. There is so much that goes into making someone who they are that it would be impossible to really understand that person as an outsider, much less label them as anything.

A friend of mine grew up in an abusive family and has always struggled with his self-esteem. Unable to overcome that struggle, he draws to him a lot of experiences where people are mistreating him and using him, and so he has developed a bitter view of other people because of it. He doesn’t understand that his low self-esteem is playing a big part in how other people treat him. He sees it as everyone else’s problem, not his. Around me, he’s comfortable. He can be himself. But out in the world, he always feels attacked. While I see a friendly guy who would do anything for you, other people see a guy who is defensive, short-tempered, and always ready to attack.

Understanding that people are way more complex than what you see can help you to imagine the good that is in them. You may not ever see the good in them, but knowing that they are dealing with issues that are causing them to act out negatively can help you understand why they are the way they are with you even when you are doing nothing to them. Through their experiences, they have developed a way of relating to other people to protect themselves, and they are unwilling to show their good sides for fear of being used, rejected, or abused.

Every person has the desire for love, success, acceptance, and growth. Every person has hopes and dreams. Every person wants to be happy and feel good each day. It’s there inside of everyone because it’s a part of being a human. It’s just that some people are unable to freely express those positive desires, so you can’t see them.

So the next time you see that jerk or meet a mean an evil person, remember that the good is in there somewhere. You may not be able to see it, but it’s there. Try not to label them as the one quality you are seeing right now or have seen in them, and you will find that you will be much more forgiving, loving, and compassionate towards them.

Helping Others Help You See Their Good

Lastly, when learning to see the good in others, sometimes the work falls on you. As we talked about, not everyone is willing to show you their good side because they are too busy trying to protect themselves or, possibly, because they have not been able to see the good in themselves for a while. That’s where you come in.

We are put on this earth to help others. We are here to be of service and learn from that. When you are willing to help others see the good in themselves, then you are always going to be in search for it. You may not see it right away, but if you are kind, patient, and optimistic, you will find it, and you can even help them see the good in themselves. And that can have a major impact on their lives and everyone they come into contact with!

I know plenty of self-help gurus who are always looking for the good in others. Tony Robbins comes to mind when I think of this. He can spot the strengths of people and help them see those strengths for themselves. He had a short-lived show called ‘Breakthrough with Tony Robbins’ where he had a knack for seeing the good within and bringing it out. Why they canceled that show is beyond me.

You don’t need to be Tony Robbins in order to find the good in others. You just need to be willing to look past the bad and see the truth behind people’s anger, depression, frustration, and misery. You need to be willing to talk to someone, work with them, and be patient as they learn to trust you and open up with you.

You have a huge power to affect other people positively. I’ve found that one smile or one kind word works wonders for helping others help you see their good. I’ve often been in a line and watched a cashier be rude and short-tempered with people only to have them be kind and friendly towards me after I gave them a genuine smile and a kind word. While everyone else left the line feeling angry because of their interaction with the cashier, I left feeling good, and the people behind me got the benefit of the good being brought out in them as well.

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