What are values that govern your life? We are all governed by certain principles and standards in our lives, and these are commonly called values. What you deem to be important or right is valuable to you, and living by your values dictates how you will behave in life and how far you will push yourself to get what you want.
If you want to transform yourself, then you must adopt a few different values to help you make the changes you need to make. These values will help you go for anything you want in life, whether it be more success, better health, or better relationships.
I can tell you from experience that change will not happen if you don’t develop a few major values on life. I know one 66-year-old man who has held hardly any of these values throughout his life, and his life has been relatively the same for over 40 years. Granted, his health has declined and his happiness has declined, but his daily routine and his outlook on life are pretty much the same. He’s never stopped to consider what are values needed for more happiness. But, you can.
If you don’t want to look back 5, 10, or 40 years from now and regret all the things you could have done and experienced through transformation, then it’s time to add some values to your life or change a few. What are values that you need for transformation?
1. Value Feeling Sane
I’ve struggled with addiction, as I’m sure many people have. Addiction to drugs, sleeping, laziness, gambling, dating, overeating, and anything else will drive you insane. But, it can be hard to change unless you start to value sanity. Once you start to value being a reasonable human, you will start to desire to change into someone better.
For instance, if you are addicted to gambling, you are anything but sane – which you already know. You are excited as you start to gamble, but as you start to lose, you become more and more frantic. All logic goes out the window and you spend more and more money trying to win back what you already spent. Soon you have to win way more back than is possible, and you begin to get mad at gambling and at yourself. When you have spent it all, you walk away mortified that you spent so much money and think of all the consequences that will bring. Then you feel like a loser. Then, once you calm down, you do it all again.
As Einstein said, Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Once you get tired of feeling insane and start to value feeling sane, you will make choices that help you do that, and you will say goodbye to useless and unhelpful habits that keep you stuck.
2. Value Opportunities
Decide to make the most out of your life. Don’t be scared to live. Don’t be scared to transform into someone different or better. Embrace the fact that life has a ton of opportunities out there waiting for you, and all you have to do is go after them! You will die, and when that happens you won’t get the chance to do what life offers – change. So, don’t act like you are already dead. Always keep in mind that because you are alive, you have a choice.
3. Value Hard Work
I know so many people who think, “Why bother working hard, we are all going to die anyways!” That value is interesting to me. I have an opposite one – “Why not work hard to make the most of my life!” If you value you hard work, then you will do what needs to be done for transformation. You will put in the time, energy, and effort towards the life you really want, and you won’t be able to sit around doing nothing, which leads to zero transformation in your life.
4.Value Other People
Other people are your lifeline to transformation. They can teach you and help you become whomever you want to be. Through books, courses, and friendships, other people teach you through their experiences, examples, lessons, and failures. And, everyone has something to offer you, even that grumpy person who is always mean to you or the mother who abandoned you when you were young.
This should be a very important part of your life if you want to get unstuck and transform. It helps you move past pain, let go of limiting beliefs, and stop living in a state of hate, guilt, or hurt – all of which do not contribute to transformation.
For instance, the other day I read a story about a man who was cheated on by his girlfriend. He spent 5 years trying to get revenge on her. He couldn’t move past what she had done to him, and the majority of his energy was spent stuck in the past 5 years ago when she admitted what she had done. He hadn’t found another girlfriend. He was depressed and confused. And, he was unable to transform into the person he wanted to be because he was stuck in a negative mindset that caused him to make negative choices. If you don’t forgive, you will be exactly like this guy. You will be stuck in the past reliving what happened over and over again instead of transforming into someone you want to be.
6. Value Faith In Success
When you don’t have faith in success, you are hopeless and unhappy. You don’t it’s worth transforming because there is a very good chance that it’s all going to fail anyways. Why bother transforming when you feel like that? And, how would you find the energy to transform when you feel like that?
Transformation requires faith. You wouldn’t go after anything you want in life if you didn’t have some sort of faith that you could achieve it. Faith helps kick-start your transformation and keeps you motivated along the way. It helps you make the best choices possible and keeps your spirits high. When you value faith in success, you will find that it will be a natural part of your life.
7. Value Self-Worth
If you don’t believe in yourself, then who else will? So many people put a high value on being respected by other people or having the approval of other people, but that’s not the way to transformation.
It’s very important to remember how important your self-worth is in this life. Your confidence in yourself is all you need to transform into anyone and any role you want to. Everyone around you may lack confidence in you (or more accurately themselves), but if you have enough self-worth to push you forward and try something, then you have the ability to change despite the other people.
8. Value Relaxation
I had to learn this one the hard way. If you make a ton of goals and fill up every minute of each day to reach those goals, you are going to burn out. The amount of energy required to transform into someone else requires you to unwind once in a while and refuel. You simply can’t keep putting in the effort forever and expect to not crash and burn eventually. Moreover, you can’t keep putting in energy and expect to get great results when you have none. Great results requires your energy and clarity.
Relaxation means finding time each day to do things like meditate, go for a walk, lay in the hammock, stare at the stars, or anything else that allows you to relax and build your energy back up.
9. Value Good Health
I guarantee you that anyone who is really sick values the health they once had in a way that you may not understand yet. But, it is important to try. If you can see your health from that perspective, then you will take the actions you need to take to keep you as healthy as possible.
It’s very important to value good health. When you make choices that boost your energy and keep yourself feeling good, you are much more likely to put forth the energy to transform into who you want to be. But, when you make unhealthy choices that drain your energy, you will quickly give up on the effort it takes to change and revert back to your old ways.
10. Value The Moment
You may think of transformation and picture the end result, but the reality is that transformation doesn’t happen in the future; it happens right here and right now. The choice you make right now either contributes to your transformation or not. That’s why it is very important to value the moment you are in and what you are doing in it. When you value the moment, you are more likely to make choices that benefit you every time you are aware of how powerful this moment really is.
11. Value Failure
Failure is important to transformation. If you value failure, then you will pay attention to it and what it is teaching you. Each time you fail, it teaches you what you should or should not do in the future. Since you usually don’t know the exact path to success is right off the bat (it would be nice, but it doesn’t happen often), there has to be some failure involved. There has to be some obstacles that detour you on to another route towards success. If you value the failure, you will take the lesson and move forward. If you don’t value the failure, you may turn backward and move yourself farther away from successful transformation.
12. Value Positive Thinking
You have two choices for thinking: positive thinking or negative thinking. Which one are you going to value? Negative thinking keeps you stuck and upset while positive thinking helps you problem solve and keeps you feeling good about everything. It just seems obvious to me that positive thinking is something to be valued for transformation.
Therefore, value positive thoughts and visualizations that keep you in a good frame of mind. Yes, negative thoughts will still arise, but when you value positive thinking, you will be able to use those thoughts constructively.
For instance, when an obstacle arises, you will start to think negative thoughts, such as “I can’t really do this.” If you value positive thinking, then you will recognize your negative thought and reword into something like “How can I do this?” That little shift in thought will help you move forward instead of standing still.
13. Value Other’s Happiness
When it comes to ‘what are values needed for transformation’ this is not often talked about, but it is powerful. Most people say that you can’t change for someone else, and I believe that, but I also believe that when you value other people’s happiness, it contributes to your desire to change in a powerful way.
Picture a mother who is suddenly left alone with three children. If she values their happiness, then she will do what she needs to do (transform) and give her kids the life that they deserve. If she doesn’t value their happiness, and she is stuck in her ego and self-pity, then she will not make the changes she needs to make.
Other people can be a powerful motivator for transformation. If you need to take care of someone, find help for someone, or make someone proud, these can all be a contributor to your ability to transform in a positive way. So, value other people’s happiness and what you can do for them.
14. Value Your Truth
Valuing my truth has led me to the biggest transformation of my life. When I decided to stop living other people’s truths and get honest with myself, I was able to make the choices I needed to about where I wanted my life to go and what I really wanted to do for happiness. I stopped working at mediocre jobs. I started doing what I loved. I dropped bad habits and took on better ones. And, I stopped committing myself to obligations that didn’t resonate with me, even little ones.
For instance, I hate horror movies. I think they are useless and I end up thinking about them in a negative tone for weeks and sometimes months afterward. But, I wanted to fit in, and because everyone else thought they were cool, I watched them and suffered through them. Then, one day I decided to value my truth. I chose to stop watching them. Years later, I can see how valuable that small choice was. I no longer spend my time worried about ridiculous things that happen in horror movies, and I no longer waste my precious time sitting down and watching them. I have literally gained a ton of hours (probably more like months when you add it up) to do things that helped me become who I want to be.
If something doesn’t resonate with you, then decide what your truth is and go with that instead. You will become clear on what are values you resonate with, and that will help you transform into who you want to be.