December 22, 2015

Why And How To Build Self-Esteem: Includes 10 Important Tips

Self-esteem is the basis of all things in your life. Yes, it helps you stand up to bullies and be honest with your feelings, but it goes far, far beyond that. Your self-esteem affects every choice you make in life and it gives you the courage and ability to grow and become happier, which means your health, relationships, career, creativity, mental strength, physical strength, and spiritual strength all revolve around your self-esteem.

So, how to build self-esteem is something everyone should be considering, not just people who feel like they have low self-esteem. Everyone can benefit from a boost in confidence and self-worth. Productive people will become more productive, happy people will become happier, and healthy people will become healthier.

Your Intuition Requires Self-Esteem

This is not something that many people think about, but it is extremely important to know and remember. Every successful person on the planet will tell you that their intuition helps them make decisions. Kelly Turner, Ph.D. said that every radical remission cancer survivor she ever saw used intuition when it came to making choices that related to their healing processes. And, Oprah said that listening to her intuition is what helped her get where she is today.

When you can read a situation immediately and gain a sense of what is happening and what you should do, even without having any physical proof of the situation, you can make choices that benefit you in a great way.

For instance, if you are planning to make new goals soon, there are different tools that can help you figure out which goals are the best for you and which ones will have the greatest chance of working out. However, your intuition needs to be present in order to make some big choices that will impact your future. If you are stuck between two great paths, then you can reason things out all you want, but your intuition will pull you one way over another, and it’s important to tune into that.

Your intuition requires self-esteem. If you are not confident in yourself, and you have to seek out other’s opinion or their help to make decisions, then you are not going to make decisions based on your intuition. You are going to make them based on influence and other people’s intuition! You will doubt your intuition, even if it is screaming at you, and that is going to cost you a lot of what you want in life.

10 Tips On How To Build Self-Esteem

Action is the key on how to build self-esteem. You can read all the articles and books you want on building self-esteem, but if you don’t take action, and develop the power from within, you will never have the self-esteem you want. When it comes to self-esteem, it matters what you do, not what you know.

1. Gain Courage To Speak Up

First, you have to build up your courage to say what you need to say. This includes the word ‘no’, but it also includes telling other people how you feel or telling them when they are mistreating you in some way. In addition, you need the courage to speak up to yourself so that you can stop denying what is going wrong in your life and how you need to fix it.

You’ve been given a voice, so use it at the moments you need to use it. If you listen to your intuition, you will know when you need to use it. You will feel like you should speak up or you should take action with yourself and with others, and that is the time to just do it! It will feel awkward at first, but the power you feel from speaking your mind will boost your self-esteem and it will become easier to do it as you go along.

2. Stop Listening To What Others Think

Your family and friends can be a huge influence on your life, but they are acting out of their own knowledge, beliefs, and intuition, not yours. If you do what they want you to do, then you are not going to feel good about yourself because you are not being true to yourself. This means you need to make decisions based off what you feel, not what they feel, and that will require you to say no to them once in a while and to do something completely different than what they expect. At first you will be nervous, but you will find that your family and friends are going to be there no matter what you do. They may not agree with you, and they may make it known, but your confidence in yourself will help you overcome their criticism with ease.

However, it’s not just your friends and family that you have to stop listening to. Commercials, ads, and product developers are marketing towards your self-esteem. Don’t believe me? Watch any commercial for a product, and they will target you by telling you how you can feel better about yourself by using their product.

You have to stop listening to them. You don’t need the latest gadget to feel better about yourself. You don’t need to get take the latest pill or get the latest surgery to be a more attractive person. You just need to learn how to build self-esteem and feel great about yourself without those insignificant things.

3. Gain Your Own Respect By Following Through With What You Say

How many times have you said you were going to do something and then didn’t? Every time you don’t do it, you lose a little bit of self-respect. It’s just like if a family member told you that they were going to do something for you daily, and then they don’t – you would start to mistrust them and lose respect for their honesty and ability to follow through.

You don’t have to do everything on your goal or to-do list to gain your own respect. You can start with something small. For instance, if you say that you are going to wake up at 6 in the morning from now on, then do it! Every time you pull yourself out of bed at 6 a.m., you will feel more confident in yourself. You will have more faith in yourself. And that will help build up your self-esteem.

And, you should also follow through with what you say to other people. If you say you are going to be somewhere at noon, then be there. Don’t break promises. Don’t do things that make you lose credibility with others and yourself. Stand by your desires, ethics, and promises to everyone, including yourself.

4. Don’t Put Down Other People

Trying to make other people look bad is just a way to make yourself feel better – and it doesn’t work. Stop gossiping about other people. Stop talking badly about other people when they are not around. Stop blaming other people for your problems behind their back. Stop posting negative comments to people as you hide behind an avatar.

If you have something important to say, say it to their face. And if you have something to say that is coming from a place of instability or anger, then don’t say it unless it is going to solve something.

You will find as you live with this kind of integrity, your self-esteem will naturally rise. Putting other people down just makes you feel bad about yourself, whether you are aware of it or not. It goes against your moral compass, and you can see and sense the lack of decency you have. When you see a lack of decency inside of yourself, you are not going to feel good about yourself.

5. Don’t Do Bad Things

This is an extension of the last point. Putting other people down is common, but lying, cheating, using, and abusing are all immoral things that will also affect your self-esteem in a big way. Anything that feels bad to you, even slightly, will pull down your self-esteem a little. Alternatively, anything that feels good to you, even slightly, will help build self-esteem in you. Therefore, if you are faced with a choice, and the devil and angel are sitting on your shoulders, flick off the devil and choose self-esteem.

6. Ask Why Questions About Yourself And Your Life

Why are you beating yourself up? Why are you treating other people poorly? When you start to ask why, you start to open up your awareness, and when you become more aware of who you are, what you do what you do, and who you want to be, your self-esteem naturally rises.

Asking why helps you to be responsible for yourself. It helps you see your good and bad habits. It helps you see your strengths and weaknesses. It helps you see where you are lacking in your life. By asking why, you start to take ownership over your life, and when you do that – you feel powerful! You feel in control of your life. You feel like your own boss who makes executive decisions about your happiness. Even though the truth can hurt sometimes, feeling that empowered helps to build self-esteem in a big way.

7. Go For Your Highest Potential

Always reach for your highest potential. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and reach for things that make you excited, but also a little terrified in some respect. When you start to live at your highest potential, you start doing things from a higher level. You can see your value because you are not working from a lower floor, you are working from a high floor and have an amazing view of your life and can see how far you have moved up.

The root of this is to live with purpose. Don’t just let your days determine how your life will go. Make intentions for your life and commit to going after what you want. Again, your intuition will come in handy here. When you know what your purpose is and what you need to do next to live it, you will start living at your highest potential.

8. Do Things Without Requiring Attention

People with low self-esteem demand recognition. They do things solely for the purpose of being seen and recognized as someone who is great. Why? Because it gives their self-esteem a false boost for a few minutes, and it makes them feel good. Yes, it’s nice to get recognition for stuff, but if you have a lot of self-esteem, you can handle not getting recognition. The fact that you did something good is enough.

This is an important tip on how to build self-esteem. Practice doing things without demanding recognition. Your ego will scream out at you to let people know that it was YOU who donated or did something great, but if you hold back and let yourself experience doing something good without recognition, your self-esteem will get a boost. You will feel great about yourself, without the need for anyone else to know, and that is the ultimate pat on the back from yourself.

9. Accept Failures And Rejection As An Important Part Of Life

Your self-esteem can take hit after hit if you don’t accept that failures and rejection are an important part of life. If you view them as negative things, then you are going to feel bad about yourself and beat yourself up when they happen. But, if you see them as valuable tools for helping you get the life you want, then you will accept them and use them to improve your life and become someone better and stronger.

Always remember that failure and rejection happen to teach you something. They help you see your weaknesses and build your strengths. They help you realize that you are capable of moving forward despite obstacles and setbacks in life. They help you make better decisions about your life and the people in it. They are essential to your life and without them you would never really get to know yourself and what you are capable of.

10. Do Your Own Work

Lastly, you are the only person who is with you 24 hours out of the day and has access to your brain and body, and if you want your own life to improve, you have to do your own work. For instance, your health goals can only be reached by doing your own work. You have to eat right, exercise, and practice other good habits for your health. You can’t outsource that to your friends or family, so don’t try! The more you do your own work, the more rewards you will get, and the more you will build self-esteem in yourself.

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