Life can be hard when you are full of expectations and keep coming face to face with failures, breakups, deaths, and all those other situations that throw a wrench in your plans. When you keep getting disappointed, it can be hard to go with the flow, even if it’s the very thing you want to do to feel better. After all, letting go should help you avoid all the pain, right? Well, in my experience going with the flow and letting go are two different things.
The Difference Between Going With The Flow And Letting Go
If you go with the flow does that mean you have no power to create the life you want? Absolutely not! Going with the flow is not about being a dead fish that floats where the river takes you. It’s about being alive, thinking for yourself, making choices, and living your best life as well as you can.
Some people will tell you that to go with the flow means you are letting other people make choices for you. That’s called letting go, not going with the flow. That’s also called letting yourself be ignorant to what’s actually going on in life. Letting go means you let yourself get victimized by other people and circumstances that are out of your control. It means shutting your eyes to what’s happening around you. Going with the flow means something else entirely.
Going with the flow means engaging in the reality of life. It means facing what comes and making choices based around those things. It means understanding that good things and bad things happen in life, and accepting them when they come. And it means being in charge of your life and choosing what step you are going to take next.
For instance, in a new relationship, you don’t want to give up and let your new partner dictate the relationship. Your beliefs and needs are important, and you should be willing to communicate with your partner in a way that helps them understand what you want. Going with the flow means accepting the new truths you find out about your partner and making choices based on those truths. It means understanding that your partner is not always going to be happy and dealing with negative emotions when they come instead of resisting them. And, it means recognizing when things are going off the deep end in your relationship and making a choice about what to do next. Letting go, on the other hand, would be explaining away bad behavior or other negative things and accepting them as a part of life. It would mean letting go of your control in life and letting those negative things dictate how you feel and how your relationship goes.
In other words, going with the flow gives you more power in life. It helps you ride the waves of life and still be in control of what happens next. Letting go means letting the waves flip you over and then crush you and your spirit because you don’t bother to make choices that help you get out from underneath the waves and ride them.
You Can’t Control Everything
In the past little while, this truth has been more obvious than it has in a long time. We all know that despite our votes, voices, and protests, things don’t always go the way we want. This includes things such as natural events, but it also includes things that feel more in our power, such as an election.
The problem lies in our expectations. Expectations are detrimental to our happiness and ability to go with the flow.
When things happen that you never predicted, you will always be frustrated and resistant to what is going on. And, when you put up resistance, you will get yourself stuck in life which ensures you can’t move forward in a positive way.
For instance, the US Presidential Election left a lot of people upset. They expected things to turn out one way, and when they didn’t, there was a lot of resistance. While it seems hard to do, going with the flow is best for everyone involved. It means taking this situation that you can’t control and making the best of it. It means waiting to see what happens instead of guessing what will happen and fighting against something that hasn’t even occurred yet. Going with the flow means accepting reality, making the best of what has happened, and moving forward with positive expectations and good intentions.
Your Thoughts Will Keep You From Going With The Flow
Don’t overthink things. That’s probably the biggest thing you can do to help you stop trying to control things and start going with the flow.
If you overthink things, your thoughts will keep going over the same negative situations and you will stay stuck in a state of disbelief, anger, or upset. Your thoughts will keep you out of the flow and incapable of taking positive action that moves you and your life forward in a positive way.
Your thoughts will also keep you in a state of disbelief. And disbelief will not help you accept what is happening and make the best decision possible to move forward.
For instance, when a friend of mine lost his job, going with the flow would have looked something like accepting that he was fired, figuring out where he wanted to work next, and applying to jobs that fit his desires. Instead, he got stuck. He couldn’t understand why they fired him. He got stuck in a loop of ‘why me?’ and ‘how could this happen?’ This kept him from moving forward and taking the best action possible for his future. He lost months of his life where he could have been taking action because he couldn’t stop overthinking about the loss of his job. He couldn’t go with the flow.
The bottom line is that you will never understand some things. Some things just won’t have an answer or an explanation. And overthinking will never change that. If there is no reasonable explanation, accept that life doesn’t always give answers, choose to go with the flow, and move on.
The Only Way To Achieve Your Goals Is To Go With The Flow
I used to believe that keeping your head down and not dealing with things that got in your way was the best way to achieve the life you want. I was wrong. If you don’t allow yourself to go with the flow, the past will catch up with you.
For instance, if you experience a failure, but pretend that it didn’t happen, you will keep moving forward without changing course. In other words, you won’t go with the flow; instead, you will keep paddling in a direction that brought you the failure. Eventually, you will experience another failure, and if you don’t allow yourself to accept it and learn from it, you will make the same mistake over and over again.
If you are having a hard time achieving your goals, then you may need to work on going with the flow. There will be failures and obstacles in the way of any goal. You have to accept the failure or obstacle has happened. You have to face the reality of it. And then, based on that reality, you have to make choices moving forward.
Follow this simple rule to achieve your goals: If you are unsure of what to do next, go with the flow. Keep your intentions in mind, and allow yourself to bend and move with the flow of what is happening, or what the universe is throwing in your path, so that you can keep moving towards your goals.
Going With The Flow Is Essential To A Happy And Healthy Life
The bottom line is that you have to go with the flow for a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. Being able to follow the flow allows the energy to keep moving. It allows your thoughts and intentions to stay clear, even when obstacles get in the way, and help you make choices that keep you moving towards the life that you want.
The flow of energy in life is very important to your happiness and health. Understanding this concept can really help you stay in the flow at all times.
Think of vinyasa yoga, which is a yoga practice where you move from one movement to the next with a flow. There is no resistance. There is nothing to break up your practice and interpret the connection between body and mind. It’s just one long session of being connected. That’s what flow is all about. It keeps you moving from one thing to the next without jerky movements that break up the peaceful connection that you feel.
Moreover, if you study energy healing, you will find that the flow of energy in the body is important for health and happiness. If energy gets unbalanced, stuck, or stagnant, physical and emotional problems can occur. But once it gets flowing again, everything starts to get the energy it needs to heal and get back on track.
That is how it works in your life too. When your energy gets stuck – when you are unable to move from one movement to the next – your life starts to experience problems. They may be physical, they may be emotional, or they may be mental, but they will come. They have to. That’s why it’s so important to stay in the flow.
5 Tips To Help You Go With The Flow
So, I hope it’s clear that going with the flow is important to every aspect of your life. Moreover, going with the flow is not about letting bad things happen to you, it’s about dealing with what is happening in a way that serves you and your happiness in a positive way. Following are 5 tips to help you start going with the flow.
1. Work On Controlling Your Thoughts
Practice all those things that help you change from negative to positive thoughts, such as gratitude, positive visualization, and positive affirmations. Being stuck in a negative state of mind will hold you back from going with the flow, but being able to see the bright side – or at least the side that will help you keep moving – will help you stay in the flow.
2. Don’t Be A Victim In Life
Some people don’t know that they are playing the victim role. They think they are strong and in control of their life, but they’re not. Instead, they blame everyone else and everything else for their life, and this keeps them from going with the flow because other people and circumstances are controlling which direction they go.
If you find yourself pointing the finger at other people and things for your problems, then you are a being a victim. Remember, you always have an opportunity to choose your thoughts and your direction in life, even if you can’t choose everything that unexpectedly comes your way.
3. Learn To Be More Cooperative And Agreeable
Whatever happens, make the best of any situation. For the most part, that will mean being more cooperative and agreeable. It will mean seeing things from other angles, not just from your perception, and allowing that awareness to move your forward in the best way possible.
Sometimes, you will be met with hate and anger, and it will be hard to just allow that to happen if it is affecting you negatively. During those times, you have every right to excuse yourself from the situation if you want to find a way to keep moving forward.
4. Keep Moving Towards Something Good
Just keep swimming. That’s a popular phrase that Dory said in the movie Finding Nemo, and it should be a way of life if you want to go with the flow. You have to keep moving forward because that’s the way the flow moves.
When you need to get out of a situation because it is too hostile or negative, you should do so. But, you should move towards a path that will help you stay in the flow of life and not resist it, or you are working against the flow.
For instance, if you are in an abusive relationship, making the choice to leave can be scary because the unknown is often scarier than the known. But, once you do, you have a few options. You can keep moving forward with the flow that you’ve created and find ways to heal and create a better life. Or, you could go to your sister’s house and cry and complain and keep yourself stuck in a negative situation with your ex where you make up and break up over and over again.
In short, you have to keep moving forward, and you have to be willing to see when a path you’ve chosen in life is no longer good for you and then choose to take a new path.
5. Choose Your Response And Choose Your Experience In Life
Lastly, always remember that your responses will dictate your experience in life. So, as things happen to you, learn to choose the best responses possible to help you keep moving in a positive flow. Don’t get angry, bitter, or defensive, because those responses will force you to experience more things to be angry, bitter, or defensive about. Instead, choose to be patient, understanding, and react in a positive way, and your experiences will be much more rewarding.